No Other Choice
by geekchick1804
Summary: This is my first k/s fanfiction story. Kirk's first year in command wasn't exactly going to plan. This is going to be hopefully a multi-chapter story with lots of character suffering because hurt!kirk is awesome and maybe a little bit of fluff. I hope you enjoy please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and I never will :(

Chapter 1

Everybody had noticed the sudden change in the behaviour of the normally unflappable stoic resident Vulcan but no one dared to mention not even James. T. Kirk. Captain of the USS Enterprise for all of one month, he normally would have been the first to find out what happened but the still recent memory of having the Vulcan's fingers around his throat pulled him up short. Lieutenant Uhura who was not only an incredible linguist she was also great at reading behaviour and she noticed more than the rest of the ship when it came to Spock so even though the rest of ship knew Spock was being different she knew that he was only a few steps from completely losing his emotional control so when their shift ended she waited for him to finish handing the science console over to his replacement. Everyone else had already fled so that they weren't caught in Spock's cross-hairs. Uhura followed Spock into the turbo lift, when the lift began to move Uhura hit the stop button,

Spock looks at Uhura for the first time since the beginning of the Alpha shift.

"Spock, tell me what's wrong?"

Spock takes a deep breath, he looks even more pale than usual.

"It's too soon."

Uhura looks confused.

"What's too soon?"

Spock starts to shake , his control is almost non-existent.

"Pon-farr."

A look of comprehension and shock crosses Uhura's face.

"Oh god Spock. Your betrothed, you will need to contact her."

Spock looks away momentarily. He swallows and looks back.

"She did not survive."

Uhura looks horrified, she takes a step toward Spock.

"Can we? Can I help? I want to help."

She puts a hand on Spock's arm. Spock's control snaps and he pushes her up against the turbo lift wall with a growl, she cries out but Spock ignores it and his fingers instinctively reach for the meld points on Uhura's face (this will be the first time that the two of them will have melded, the connection flares, Uhura feels the pressure building in her mind it is getting to an unbearable level when Spock recoils and backs off until he ends up against the opposite wall. Fear is evident on his face.

"What happened Spock? Why did you do that?"

"I need a... a connection but... but... we are not compatible. You can not help me. I must return to the colony, you must get me to the colony. I need to go into meditation."

Spock presses the button to get the lift to start again, Spock does not make eye contact with Uhura again and as soon as the lift doors open onto the officers floor he exits the lift and almost runs to the comfort and security of his quarters. Uhura watches him leave and then exits herself and walks at a more sedate pace to the Captains quarters which are conveniently located right next to Spock's quarters. She hesitates outside the captains quarters, then silently berates herself for not having the courage to knock, Uhura stands there for about five minutes before she finally buzzes the captains door. It is almost immediately opened by the captain.

"Uhura, what an unexpected pleasure. What can I do for you?"

Uhura just pushes past him and enters his quarters without his permission.

"Lieutenant what are..."

Uhura interrupts him.

"Jim. Please."

Uhura's use of his first name and the absence of any irritation in her voice is enough for him to stop in his tracks and switch from annoyed captain to concerned friend (Even though technically they are not quite friends, but that's a small detail that doesn't bother Jim).

"What's wrong?"

"Jim... just listen please... It's about Spock. I don't know how to explain this. I don't know if I should explain this..."

Uhura looks away from Jim. Something clicks in Jim's brain at this, he remembers a couple of old Spock's memories of him fighting with his captain and another of

Spock trying to explain what was happening to him. Jim moves over to Uhura and puts his hand on her shoulder, she almost jumps at the touch. Jim sighs.

"It's Pon-Farr isn't it?"

Uhura turns around. Jim drops his hand.

"How do you know that?"

Jim shrugs his shoulders.

"Doesn't matter. What does he need? Is his betrothed still alive?"

Uhura shakes her head again. Jim's face falls.

"Do you need time off for this?"

Again Uhura shakes her. Jim looks confused.

"Why?"

"Apparently we are not compatible enough for a connection to form. We have to get him back to New Vulcan so that a bond-mate can be found for him."

"One second." Jim walks over to his desk and flicks on his comm unit. "Kirk to helm."

"Lieutenant McKenna here sir."

"Set in a new course to New Vulcan, maximum warp."

There is a pause for a couple of seconds.

"Course laid in sir."

"What's our E.T.A?"

There's another pause.

"Six days, seventeen hours sir."

"Thank you Lieutenant. Kirk out."

Jim switches off the comm unit, he looks over at Uhura who looks like she is about to burst into tears. Jim walks back over to her.

"We are not going to make it in time. Are we?"

"No we are not."

"I'll have a word with bones, see if he can come up with something to slow it down."

Uhura gives Jim a wan smile.

"Thank you. But what happens if he can't? What do we do then?"

"I don't know. I'll think of something, I always do."

Uhura gives him another faint smile and then gives Jim a hug. Which shocks Jim.

"You better, I cant lose him. Even if I can only have him as my friend it would be better than losing him totally."

Jim doesn't know what to say to that so he just gives her a squeeze.


	2. Chapter 2

No Choices

Disclaimer: Still don't own star trek. :(

Chapter 2

Jim is sat in his captain's chair at the end of an uneventful (Read boring) shift, going over the previous days events and being thankful that Bones listens when Jim really needs him to and is an absolute genius when it comes to pointy-eared hobgoblins (his words). Bones had managed to concoct a combination of different drugs to try and slow down the effects of Pon-Farr, which had a small measure of success but unfortunately only slowed the speed down by a few hours and so Bones had now locked himself in one of the science labs and is trying any number of combinations to try to help. Spock of course had no turned up to his shift for which the rest of the bridge crew where extremely thankful for. Jim had not realised how much he had come to depend on Spock during the shift let alone with all the paper work he had to do. He really needed Spock to be on his A-game which wasn't possible at the moment and that brought Jim's attention back to the actual cause; no matter how Jim looked at the problem he just can't seem to find an answer, but he is determined not to lose. Although Old Spock said that they were destined to have an epic friendship, he and Spock had yet to begin that journey, at the moment they were still trying to get used to their new roles on board the ship; well Jim was. Spock seemed to almost effortlessly do both the First officers duties and the Science officers duties but that didn't mean that Jim wasn't looking forward to having that relationship with Spock

"Sir?"

Jim looks up realising that it is shift change and smiles when he sees his relief officer who was probably waiting for at least five minutes so that he could take over the conn. Jim stands up and stretches then turns to his relief officer.

"Conns all yours lieutenant."

"Thank you sir."

Jim walks over to the turbo-lift, whilst waiting for it to arrive he looks over at the lieutenant who is gazing almost reverently at the captains chair before he sits down. Jim manages to keep his laugh contained. The lift arrives and Jim steps in, planning on going to quarters for a quick shower and a change of clothes before heading to the mess and grabbing a bite to eat. As he steps out of the lift and starts heading towards his quarters his thoughts invariably turn back to Spock, he again tries to come up with another solution but he cant think of any more, all the Vulcan's are on the new colony trying to rebuild but even if someone could be found who was compatible and was sent to meet them it would be too late, Doctor McCoy's estimate only gave Spock another another two days at most, time was running out. Jim enters his quarters and starts to take off his clothes as he heads straight into the bathroom where he finds Spock unconscious in the shower. As Jim enters the cubicle he instantly notices that the water is far too cold for a Vulcan. Jim shuts off the water and checks on Spock who is barely breathing. Jim picks Spock up and carries him into Spock's quarters which are also far too cold for a Vulcan's physiology and Jim realises that Spock did it on purpose.

"Computer raise temperature by 15 degrees."

The computer raises the temperature as Jim carries Spock over to the bed. After putting him down gently, Jim goes back into the bathroom and grabs a towel, he heads back to Spock and begins to towel dry Spock and try to get him warm. Whilst Jim is rubbing Spock's chest Spock begins to awaken and get aroused as Jim is taking care of him.

"Jim."

Jim looks up into Spock's eyes. Spock's eyes are completely blown, there is no brown only the the black of his pupils.

"It was too hot, I was too hot."

Jim tries to comfort Spock, he wants to comfort Spock but he doesn't know how. Spock's temperature begins to rise to normal levels (for a Vulcan which are about five degrees lower than humans) but then it continues to rise as the fever begins to take grip again. All Spock can think about is captain and how cool and soothing his captains hands are, he begins to stroke Jim's cheek.

"You are so beautiful my Jim."

Jim pulls away shocked. This isn't what he expected.

"What are you doing?"

"You are going to be my mate Jim."

Jim starts to back away from Spock and back towards the bathroom. Spock watches every move he makes like a predator watching its prey.

"Spock, I like you but not like that. I'm not gay."

"That does not matter my Jim, we are T'hy'la."

Spock sits up, Jim backs off further. Jim turns to leave he barely manages one step before he is slammed up against the bulkhead winded, with a very horny Vulcan plastered against his back, fear and panic suddenly grips Jim and he struggles to get free but Spock is having none of it. Spock holds Jim in place with one hand whilst the other travels up and down Jim's half naked body, Jim continues to struggle.

"Spock don't do this. Please don't do this."

Spock just growls dangerously and Jim shuts up. Spock uses his free hand to rip Jim's trousers and underwear off and then moves closer, he takes a deep inhale of Jim's body and then bites Jim hard enough on the shoulder to break the skin and for Jim to cry out in pain. Spock pushes even closer to Jim and then starts to bite Jim's neck at the same time he separates Jim's legs and brings his free hand up to Jim's temple, pressing his fingers up against Jim's psi points.

"Spock don't do this, please. I'm begging you."

Spock growls again but this time Jim doesn't listen.

"Spock please. Just stop."

Spock just ignores Jim and continues trying to meld.

"Commander! That is enough! I said stop!"

Jim is so focused on on Spock's hand that he doesn't notice the rest of Spock moving until he is impaled on Spock's penis, Jim screams in pain. Jim totally panics but he still can't move and is totally helpless when Spock begins to forcefully and roughly fuck into him, Jim bites his lip to stop himself from screaming.

"Mine T'hy'la. Mine."

"No Spock, never yours."

Spock growls again and fucks Jim faster and harder. The pain in Jim's rectum is building then he hears the words being muttered to take them into a mind meld.

"No Spock don't do this."

Jim is helplessly sucked into the meld and the pressure of the meld and the pain keeps building. Spock can feel Jim's distress and pain but he ignores it as he begins to bind them together. In Jim's head all he can hear is the chant of 'mine T'hy'la mine'. The pain gets so intense and the pressure gets so great that he loses consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Just checked still don't own star trek :(

Chapter 3

When Jim regains consciousness he can't remember what happened or why he feels like he was hit with a star ship, then the memory of the previous evening returns and he opens his eyes; letting out a small pained and fearful groan. The first thing that he sees is his first officer lying next to him, watching him, he tries to move but Spock holds him in place.

"Let me go."

Jim's voice is barely a whisper but Spock hears him.

"I cannot, you will leave."

"What do you expect?"

Spock moves closer to Jim.

"The fever has not yet left me; it has however abated for a while. I will need you again and again for the next few days until the fever has completely left me but until then you must stay with me."

Jim whimpers at this, remembering the pain and fearing what will happen from now on.

"I will get you some food, you are hungry."

This is said as a statement rather than posed as a question and Jim doesn't know how Spock knew until he realises that Spock is a touch telepath and is currently holding his hand giving him Vulcan kisses. Jim looks away.

"I won't eat it."

Spock gently turns Jim's face back towards him.

"You must eat to keep your strength up."

Jim glares at Spock.

"The only thing I **MUST** do is get out of here and as far away from you as possible."

Spock kisses Jim on the lips, Jim tries to pull away but Spock just holds him in place, so Jim keeps his mouth shut to try to deter Spock but Spock just keeps going until eventually Jim opens his mouth to breathe but as soon as his lips part; Spock's tongue enters and attempts to taste very inch of Jim's mouth, he finally pulls away although he keeps nipping at Jim's bottom lip as though he doesn't want to ever stop.

"You are so beautiful my Jim."

Jim flinches at Spock's use of his name.

"Don't call me that!"

"You always say that you want me to call you Jim."

"That was before when I wanted to be your friend, when I trusted you. That was before you raped me, now I want nothing to do with you Commander. And as soon as I leave here you will be thrown in the brig and left to rot. I'll find another first officer and science officer, someone who I can actually trust to have my back."

Spock looks into Jim's electric blue eyes and sees the pain.

"You can trust me."

Jim snorts in derision.

"You've raped me and are planning on doing it again. How exactly am I supposed to trust you?"

Spock doesn't have an answer for that so he doesn't speak; he just starts to stroke Jim's cheek gently and lovingly.

"Stop that, stop touching me."

"Shush Jim, my T'hy'la."

"I told you not to call me that."

Spock moves so that he is on top of his captain, he gently but firmly nudges Jim's legs apart, Jim realises what is happening and starts to struggle again.

"Jim, stop struggling. You will only hurt yourself."

"I can't hurt myself any more than you already have."

Spock sighs audibly. He puts his hand on Jim's waist, Jim flinches again, keeping Jim in place he reaches over to the bedside cabinet and opens the top drawer and removes a tube, he settles back down in between Jim's thighs. Jim's fear begins to grow even more after he sees what the tube contains; lubricant.

"Spock please. Not again, please."

Spock gives no other response than to pour the lubricant liberally over his engorged penis, he drops the tube onto the floor and then starts to rub the lubricant onto his penis making sure that it covers the entire surface of his penis he also makes sure to cover his fingers as well.

"Spock please stop. Commander I order you to stop."

Spock looks up into his commanding officers face and sees nothing but terror and pain in his eyes. He gently kisses Jim's lips, Jim recoils. Spock slowly slips his finger into Jim's rectum. Jim cries out.

"Spock. No!"

"Shush my T'hy'la."

Spock slips another finger in and then starts to scissor his fingers to open up Jim wide enough to take him again. Spock's fingers hit Jim's prostrate, which causes Jim to cry out again this time in (unwanted) pleasure, so Spock repeatedly hits, Jim begins to sob. Spock removes his fingers immediately feeling the loss of the intimate touch with Jim but then he slips his penis in. Jim screams, he starts to hit Spock on his chest, then tries to push him off but Spock is too strong and just grabs Jim's hands and holds them down and starts to slowly fuck into Jim again.

"Jim Ashayam, you are so beautiful. So perfect."

Jim screams again, Spock moves Jim's hands to above his head and holds them in place with his left hand whilst his right hand comes down and covers Jim's mouth.

"Jim, my Jim, Ashayam shush."

Spock begins to move faster becoming rougher and rougher as the fever begins to return, he starts to pound into Jim's body hitting Jim's prostrate every time, Jim becomes hard and without Spock touching his penis Jim orgasms and sobs even more. Not long after Jim's orgasm Spock also releases and coats Jim's insides with his own orgasm. Jim passes out again but Spock doesn't seem too worried, he pulls out of Jim and goes into the bathroom and takes a quick sonic shower before grabbing cleaning materials to wash and tend to Jim, once Jim is cleaned up Spock retrieves his hidden medical scanner and dermal regenerator, he runs the scanner over Jim's body where he finds only bruising and some tearing in Jim's rectum. So Spock uses the regenerator on Jim's ass a couple of times, making sure that it heals. He then puts away the two devices, goes over to the replicator and orders up some fruit and water and returns to the bed and to Jim, he puts the fruit and water onto the bedside cabinet and lies down on the bed. He pulls Jim into his arms and places Jim's head on his chest and starts stroking Jim's hair. Spock lies there for a few hours just enjoying the feel of having Jim in his arms. Spock pulls Jim in closer towards his body and rests Jim's head on his shoulder and gently kisses Jim's shoulder. Spock's time sense comes back and he realises that Jim is expected on the bridge for alpha shift which is in for hours, he contemplates a plan but he knows that Jim will never go along with it and that the infuriating Doctor McCoy would immediately suspect that something was wrong and he would come barging in and try to take his mate from him and that would be unacceptable. Spock smiles when he feels Jim regaining consciousness again but quickly schools his face back into its expressionless mask. Jim tries to pull away and this time Spock lets him.

"Jim Ashayam, I am gratified to see you awake."

"I wouldn't have lost consciousness if you hadn't hurt me."

Jim goes to leave the bed but Spock pulls Jim back into his arms.

"Let me go."

"Jim, the fever will be gone in a few days, then I will let you go. But until then you must remain with me."

Jim again tries to pull away.

"Ashayam, I've already told you; you cannot leave my side."

Jim looks away from Spock and mumbles a sentence so quietly that even Spock's Vulcan ears cannot hear.

"What was that Jim?"

Jim still does not look at Spock and mumbles only slightly louder but its loud enough for Spock to discern the meaning.

"I will allow you to go to the bathroom however I will not allow you out of my sight."

Jim looks at Spock horrified.

"You're going to watch me?"

Spock nods. Jim looks away again and pulls away, Spock allows Jim to leave his embrace and get off the bed, he watches as Jim heads towards the bathroom limping slightly. Spock leaves the warmth of the bed and catches up to his mate. He nuzzles Jim's neck and then walks with Jim into the bathroom. Whilst they are in the bathroom Spock doesn't actually touch Jim; he permits Jim to take care of his biological and sanitary needs with out interfering however he finds it difficult to keep his hands to himself when Jim is in the shower. Reluctantly Jim heads back towards Spock's quarters but then he suddenly tries to make a break for it and he attempts to run into his quarters unfortunately Spock has predicted that Jim would try to escape and so catches Jim easily.

"Ashayam, you should not try to escape. I will not allow you to. You are just wasting valuable energy."

Jim whimpers as Spock leads him back into the first officers quarters. Spock leads him over to the bed and then makes him get in. Spock climbs into the bed as well. Spock leans back and grabs some of the fruit which he had placed on the bedside cabinet and holds it out to Jim.

"You should eat Ashayam."

Jim knocks the food out of Spock's hand.

"Jim you must eat."

"We've been through this before I'm not going to eat anything you give me."

Spock sighs in frustration. Jim tries to pull away again.

"Jim, T'hy'la stop."

"Why? You don't even when I beg you to."

Spock sighs again, he strokes Jim's hair. Jim flinches away.

"What do you plan on doing if I let you go?"

"Going to McCoy and having you arrested and dumped off my ship at the first chance."

Spock takes a deep breath and tries to organise his thoughts and feelings.

"I cannot allow that to happen. I will no allow us to be parted, you are mine."

Jim glares at Spock again. Spock looks unperturbed.

"Doesn't matter anyway, if the crew don't see me for a few days especially if I don't turn up for my shift they'll figure out something is wrong and they'll come looking for me and when they find me I'll tell them exactly what happened and you'll be arrested anyway. So it really doesn't make any difference however you may wish to let me go sooner or it'll be worse for you when they do find me and they will."

Spock growls at the thought of someone taking his T'hy'la away from him.

"No one will take you away from me. You are mine."

"I am not yours! I am not a possession. You do not control me. You do not own me."

Jim begins to struggle again, Spock just pushes him back down onto the bed. Jim punches him in the face (when his hand connects with Spock's jaw; he hears a bone in his hand break), Spock doesn't even flinch, he pushes Jim's hands until they are above his head, then he separates Jim's thighs again. Jim tries to keep his legs together but human fear is nothing compared to Vulcan strength and Spock easily parts Jim's thighs. Jim is quickly being overwhelmed by panic.

"Let me go Spock!"

Spock pushes into Jim again, Jim screams again and again. Spock melds with Jim again, Jim resists and throws up as many mental defences as he can think of but Spock just breaks through them with ease.

"_You cannot hide from me Ashayam. Do not try."_

"_Get out of my head asshole."_

"_No. Not until you understand."_

"_No you don't understand, I don't want you. I don't care about you any more, you are nothing to me. And if I never see your face again it will be too soon. Now get the fuck out of my head."_

Spock can feel all of Jim's emotions; pain, sadness, fear, anger and hatred. He can discern no good feelings at all let alone any directed towards himself. This makes him even more depressed but he makes sure to keep his shields in place so that Jim cannot know what he is feeling. He knows now that Jim would never understand or accept what had happened and would never again care for or even trust him.

"_You are incorrect in your statement Jim. I do understand."_

And with that Spock pulls out of the meld.

"But that does not mean you can leave nor that I can stop."

Spock's fever begins to rise again and he continues to fuck Jim, making him scream again and again, tears stream down Jim's face which Spock gently wipes away.

"Shush my Jim it will be over soon. Do not cry Ashayam."

After a few minutes Spock feels his climax building and scant seconds later he releases into Jim's unwilling body. Spock lies on top of Jim but keeps most of his weight off of Jim by using his elbows.

"I hate you."

Spock hangs his head in shame and sadness.

"Yes I know and I am truly sorry."

"No Spock, if you were sorry you wouldn't keep me here."

"Do you think that I want to keep you here? Do you not think that I wish there was another way? Do you not think that I wish you were willing, that you understood? Do not believe that I had the intention of forcing you... of raping you Jim. I never wanted this. I never wanted to hurt you like this."

Jim looks up at Spock beseechingly.

"Then why? Why wont you let me go? Why do you continue to force yourself on me? Why do you continue to rape me?"

Spock keeps his eyes averted from Jim's unable to cope with seeing the pain that is surely reflected in them.

"Because I have no choice, no control. My logic flees when I most need it, the warrior instincts of species are too strong. I cannot fight them and so I must claim you. I must destroy everything we could be together just to stay alive. I have tried meditation and that failed, I even tried to freeze the fever away, to at least dampen it until we can get too New Vulcan and that failed. The instincts of my ancestors and the fever are too strong."

Spock finally raises his head and looks into Jim's eyes. He can feel the fever building again and it makes him feel sick. He tries to will it away but he knows that it is useless. He knows that he has destroyed any chance of a friendship or even something more with the beautiful man who is lying underneath him. He also knows that he cannot leave Jim's side because they are bonded and until Jim gets them to the colony on New Vulcan they will continue to be, furthermore until the bond settles or is broken they cannot move too far physically (about 100 feet) from each other as that will cause both of them immeasurable pain. Spock believes that he should suffer because of what he's done but he does not want Jim to suffer; not now, not ever. The fever continues to rise and Spock acknowledges that he only has a few minutes before he forces Jim yet again. So he pulls out and gently but thoroughly preps Jim stretching him. Jim begins to cry again and that heart broken sob breaks Spock's already bruised heart too.

"The fever is rising again, I am sorry Jim."

"But... but... you... the fever. You only just..."

Spock strokes Jim's cheek.

"I know, the fever is unpredictable. I am sorry Jim."

Jim doesn't respond, he just turns his face away and closes his eyes. Spock kisses Jim's forehead. Jim flinches.

"Taluhk nash-ver k'dular (I cherish thee) Jim."

Again Jim doesn't respond. Spock gently enters Jim causing him to whimper in pain. The fever finally takees over and Spock turns into a pre-reform Vulcan. He forcefully takes his mate, this time he fucks Jim so hard that the bed breaks and they fall to the floor, his grip is so hard on Jim's waist that bruises begin to almost instantly form. Jim's screaming continues (he regrets ever having the first officers and captains quarters sound-proofed to allow for private discussions). At that moment though the door to Spock's quarters opens and doctor McCoy steps into the room. He sees immediately what is happening and is horrified (he thinks that he's only walked in on them having sex) but it quickly morphs into fury when he realises that Jim is trying to escape. Spock ignores him and continues to pound into Jim, Jim is hoarse from screaming and starts to sob, he doesn't see McCoy until McCoy steps up to Spock and attempts to hypo him into oblivion unfortunately Spock hears him approach and grabs the hypospray and crushes it with one hand, he then hits McCoy knocking him out instantly.

"Bones!"

Jim looks terrified but Spock takes no heed and carries on fucking him. Eventually Spock hits Jim's prostrate so hard that Jim comes again and again. Then he passes out and seconds later Spock also orgasms. Spock pulls out and goes and takes another shower and then cleans up Jim. He climbs back onto the broken bed and pulls Jim into his arms before losing consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Dammit still don't own star trek.

Chapter 4

Jim awakens once more in bed next to Spock. He remembers McCoy entering the room and being knocked out.

"Bones?"

Spock growls at the mention of Dr McCoy's nickname. Jim takes no heed of the warning.

"Bones are you OK?"

Spock pulls Jim in closer to his body, Jim starts to struggle.

"Bones! Help me!"

McCoy starts to awaken, Spock continues to growl into Jim's neck. It intensifies as Jim continues to struggle.

"Mine T'hy'la."

"Bones please."

Spock bites his captain on the neck (marking him), Jim cries out in pain causing McCoy to completely wake up, he grabs another hypo filled with a strong sedative and jabs it quickly into Spock's neck. Spock tries to fight the sedative but losses and falls unconscious. McCoy pulls Spock off the bed and away from Jim. McCoy swears like a sailor when he gets a good look at Jim (there are bruises all over his body and blood dripping from his ass and neck), he pulls Jim into a gentle hug and then carefully picks him up and carries him into Jim's quarters, he gently places Jim on the bed and then fetches his med-kit. He comes back into Jim's quarters to find on the floor, throwing up and sobbing. McCoy immediately goes over to Jim and starts rubbing his back but pulls away when Jim flinches.

"Oh Jim, I'm so sorry. If I had known I'd have gotten here sooner. I'm sorry Jim. Don't worry I'm never gonna let him anywhere near you. He will never hurt you again I promise."

"Bones it hurts, please."

McCoy pulls out a hypo-spray filled with a Jim kirk approved pain reliever and gently presses it against Jim's neck. The pain recedes and Jim stops throwing up, he sits up and McCoy pulls him into another hug. Jim puts his head on McCoy's shoulder, McCoy gives him a squeeze.

"What happened Jim?"

Jim sniffles and moves closer to his friend. Jim manages to bring his breathing and tears under control.

"Can you tell me what happened kid?"

Jim nods slowly.

"I found him in the... in the shower. He was unconscious and so cold... so I carried him into his quarters, I started to dry him off and I raised the room temperature."

Jim starts to cry again. McCoy wants to tell Jim that he doesn't have to continue but he knows Jim will feel so much better when he gets it all out in the open.

"He began to wake up, he told me I was beautiful. That freaked me out, I tried to leave but he slammed me up against the bulkhead... he wouldn't let me leave. Why wouldn't he let me leave?"

"I don't know kid, how many... how many times did he force himself on you?"

"I... I don't know, I don't want to remember. I lost conscious a few times."

"When did you find him?"

"Just after shift I was planning on having a shower and seeing if you were free for dinner."

McCoy grips Jim tighter.

"Shit kid."

Jim raises his head, he looks into McCoy's eyes.

"What Bones?"

"That was two days ago."

Jim begins to hyperventilate so much so that he starts to turn blue from lack of oxygen so McCoy uses a very mild sedative. Jim eventually manages to get his breathing back under control.

"OK kid, you don't have to say any more if you don't want to. Do you want to continue?"

Jim shakes his head. McCoy pulls him back in close and kisses Jim on the forehead.

"Right so this is what is going to happen now. First I'm gonna help you get dressed, second I'm gonna take you to sickbay where your injuries are going to be recorded and then treated and third I'm going to send security to deal with the bastard because there is no way I'm going to let him stay a free man; not after what he has done to you."

Jim nods and McCoy helps him stand up. McCoy picks out a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and then helps Jim to get dressed.

"Can you walk OK?"

Jim nods his head, he still feels nauseous and can barely stand but he wants out of his quarters (which look so much like Spock's) as soon as possible. Just then the bathroom door opens and Spock stalks through the door, he looks totally pissed off. Jim goes sheet whit in fear, Spock moves towards him but McCoy moves in between them.

"Dammit I hoped he'd be out for longer."

Spock growls and moves forward.

"You are not getting anywhere near him."

Spock snarls and looks directly at McCoy

"Doctor, it would be best for you to get out of my way or else I will be forced to permanently incapacitate you. You will let me near my Jim."

McCoy gets furious.

"And why the hell would I do that?"

"Because we are bond-mates and if you attempt to take him from me my warrior instincts will surface and I will be forced to claim him in front of you and to kill you. Also we are newly bonded if he moves too far from me or I from him then he will end up in a great deal of pain."

Comprehension crosses McCoy's face and his face goes red with barely contained rage. A bead of sweat appears on Spock's brow as the fever begins to rise again, he also shifts his focus back to Jim (who is stood there trembling).

"So you didn't just rape his body, you also raped his mind."

Spock stops walking towards Jim, he sees the terror on Jim's face. He glances back at McCoy. He looks ashamed of his actions.

"Yes I did and I apologise for my behaviour and treatment of Jim however I still have need of him and you cannot be permitted to stop me, I will not allow you to stop me."

"Jim get out of here and call security."

Spock smiles cruelly at McCoy.

"Do not think that you can hold me off before Jim gets to the door. In less than thirty seconds you will be unconscious and he will be in my arms."

Jim whimpers. Spock looks back at Jim so does McCoy.

"Kid go now."

Jim goes to walk towards the door, Spock growls. Jim looks at Spock.

"Please let me go."

His voice is barely a whisper. Spock shakes his head.

"I cannot Jim. Ashayam it is only for a few more days."

Jim feels nausea again at the thought of spending any more time with his ex-executive officer and shakes his head.

"I cant, you... I don't want you anywhere near me."

McCoy watches the exchange with a scowl on his face.

"Jim! For God's sake just get out of here. Now!"

Jim looks at McCoy and runs to the door only to find Spock in front of him, Jim turns around and sees McCoy on the floor; not moving. He feels Spock slide his arms around his waist and pull I'm flush against Spock's body. Jim panics, he doesn't know what to do; he knows he cant fight off Spock and so McCoy was the only one who could help him.

"Bones! Wake up!Please!"

Spock nuzzles up against Jim's neck, he starts marking Jim again; biting hard on Jim's shoulder. He removes one hand and uses it to rip off Jim's clothes allowing him access to more glorious skin. He nips at the back of Jim's neck and turns Jim around. He gently strokes Jim's cheek and uses his thumb to wipe away the many tears that have started to fall silently.

"Bones!"

"Do not worry Ashayam, he is simply unconscious. I do not wish for him to interrupt our activities."

Sweat begins to pour off of Spock's body. Jim feels the sweat and heat rolling off Spock. Jim looks into Spock's eyes anger and hatred obvious in his own.

"I will never forgive you for hurting him and as soon as we arrive at New Vulcan i'm gonna have the bond broken and then I'm gonna dump you on Delta Vega and leave you there to freeze your ass off."

Spock moves his hand and slides it behind Jim's neck and then pulls Jim into a deep but gentle kiss. He then picks up Jim and lies him down on the bed.

"Are you going to struggle?"

Spock's voice is ragged and dripping with lust. Jim defiantly looks at Spock.

"I wont let you do this to me. Not again."

Jim goes to make his escape but Spock just holds him down.

"im sorry Ashayam. I must."

"Please. Oh god please Spock. don't do this."

Jim begins to hit Spock hard but to no avail. Spock climbs on top of Jim and forces his legs open again, Jim whimpers again and penetrates Jim for the sixth time and Jim starts to scream once more but Spock is too far gone in the fever to care and forces himself deeper and deeper into his unwilling mate. Spock again melds with Jim cementing their new bond. Jim continues to resist but Spock's mind is too powerful.

"_T'hy'la mine T'hy'la."_

"_No Spock, I'll never be yours. Never."_

Spock begins to climax and brings Jim over the edge with him. Spock pulls out and lies next to Jim wrapping his arms around him as he does so and pulls him in close. He puts his head into the crook of Jim's neck. Jim starts to sob again, so Spock pulls him in closer, he feels the fever diminish but not go completely.

"It is almost over T'hy'la. Once or twice more and the fever will be gone. Ashayam I am truly sorry for these last few days and I know you will never forgive me. Everything I have is yours. Everything I am is yours."

"I don't want your stuff Spock. I don't want you. I'll never want you."

Spock looks miserable but nods.

"i know Ashayam. I know. We will be at New Vulcan soon. Just rest now Jim. The next time will not be so rough; the fever has almost burnt out."

Jim tries to pull away and Spock sensing his thoughts allows him to. Jim rolls onto his side knowing that it is pointless to try and escape and so doesn't even try to.

"Sleep Ashayam."

Spock strokes Jim's psi points sending soothing feelings so that Jim will drift off to sleep, Jim tries to resist but he's emotionally exhausted and is slowly lulled into sleep. Once Spock is satisfied that Jim is fast asleep he gets out of the bed, he checks on McCoy to make sure that he wont be waking any time soon and then removes Jim's console and personal comm unit and locks them in his bedroom. He goes back into Jim's room where he smiles at the sight of Jim sleeping, he walks over to Jim's replicator and orders up some food and drink for him and Jim, he sits down at the desk and eats his half of the fruit, he also drinks half the water. Spock sits for a while pondering what was going to happen to him after this gets out, he hope (although hope is illogical) that Nyota will understand, but That's the best he can hope for because he knows this crew are totally loyal to Jim (and not necessarily Starfleet) so they will defend Jim with all that they are, even though it has only been one month. He knows that his father will keep him out of prison by using his diplomatic immunity but only because he is the soul heir to the House of Surak (Sybok had died along with Vulcan). Spock puts his head in his hands and starts to weep, he hopes they'll arrive at New Vulcan soon so that he can no longer be around Jim (and that thought breaks him into pieces but it also breaks through the fever). Realising that he is no longer in pon-farr Spock walks over to Jim and kisses his temple. He stands next to Jim for 5.3 minutes before realising that he cannot voluntarily move from Jim's side and so lies down on the bed and pulls Jim into his arms before crying himself to sleep.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Nope still don't own star trek.

A/N: I cant do accents. I've tried and they didn't work so if it gets confusing let me know and if you have any hints or tips please feel free to tell me.

Chapter 5

Spock is the first to awaken in the Captain's quarters, he smiles when he sees that his T'hy'la is still lying in his arms but that smile vanishes instantly when Scotty breaks into the room and finds the captain in Spock's arms covered in blood and McCoy unconscious on the floor and put two and two together and get four.

"What the fuck has gone here?"

A security team enters the room along with a medical team; they head straight over to McCoy whilst Scotty takes one step towards Spock. Spock watches Scotty move and pulls Jim in closer to him because he knows that this will be the last time that he will be able to hold him in his arms.

"What happened Commander?"

The medical team manage to rouse McCoy.

"He attacked the Captain."

Everyone in the room looks shocked.

"You've got to get that animal away from Jim before he hurts him again."

The security team move towards Spock with their phasers drawn. The security chief Lieutenant Giotto moves closest to Spock.

"Commander I need you to get of the bed and away from the Captain."

Spock doesn't respond; he doesn't want to move, he knows he's done wrong but he cant find it in himself to get away from Jim. Giotto takes another step forward. Jim begins to regain consciousness. He tries to pull away from Spock instinctively as he does so he notices the other people in the room. He looks at Scotty.

"Help me."

"For Christ's sake man get that animal down to the brig and away from Jim."

"Commander this is your last warning, move away from the Captain or we will fire on you."

With great reluctance and sadness Spock lets go of the captain (who immediately covers himself with a sheet and heads over to the door) and sits up. One member of the security team goes into Spock's quarters (with Scotty's help) and procures him some clothes to put on, so that they can take him from the room, Spock quickly gets dressed and holds out his hands so that he can be cuffed. lieutenant Giotto moves forward and places security cuffs around Spock's wrists. The security team then lead Spock to the brig. As soon as the security team leave McCoy goes over to Jim with a medical tricorder and scans him, he doesn't like the results.

"Come on Jim lets get you to sickbay."

Jim nods and McCoy fetches Jim a spare uniform. He gently helps Jim into the uniform but Jim cant stand up for long and almost collapses with dehydration and pain.

"It's OK kid, no ones gonna hurt you."

McCoy looks up at Christine Chapel who has come over to help.

"Did you bring an anti-gravity stretcher with you?"

"Yes, we didn't know what sort of state any of you were in."

"Good fetch it, there's no way he's gonna make it to sickbay under his own power. Also can you make sure that the route between here and there is empty and make sure that no one who has been in this room today speaks with anyone about what they have seen."

"Yes sir."

She leaves the room for a minute and comes back in with the stretcher and helps McCoy get Jim onto it. Jim looks dazed and unfocused, and McCoy realises he is going into Hypo-volemic shock.

"Get me some water over here."

Christine who also noticed Jim was in shock grabs a blanket out of the closet and uses it to cover up Jim and hands McCoy the water. McCoy helps Jim sit up and drink the water before allowing two of the orderlies to take Jim down to sickbay. On the journey down there McCoy never once leaves Jim's side, he holds Jim's hand as he walks. Jim closes his eyes in relief at being saved and knowing that Spock will never be allowed near him again. The group finally make it to sickbay where Jim is led into a private room where he is examined and evidence is taken from his body. McCoy then treats Jim's wounds knowing he can only heal the physical and not the mental. He hooks Jim up to an intravenous line for both liquids and nutrients. Jim falls asleep easily when McCoy gives him a hypo filled sedatives and painkillers. McCoy pulls up a chair and sits down to watch silently over his best friend, feeling guilty that he was unable to help Jim sooner and anger at the sadistic bastard who did this to him. Thirty minutes into his vigil Christine comes in and stands next to McCoy. She carefully places a hand on his shoulder as though she is frightened that he will lash out at her.

"How did you know to send people in?"

McCoy looks up at Christine and she smiles at him.

"Captain Kirk didn't report for duty so they tried contacting him but he didn't answer and so they tried contacting you but you didn't answer either. So they sent a security team and a medical team to find you. What happened in there?"

McCoy takes a deep breath.

"You saw what a state that place was in, you saw what injuries Jim had."

"I cant believe that Spock could do such a thing."

"Yeah well you're wrong. He attacked Jim repeatedly, he didn't let him leave. He was vicious and cruel."

Christine looks over at the bed.

"Is there anything you want me to get you?"

"The command crew, include Chekov and Sulu as well and ask them to meet me in my office in ten minutes."

"Are you going to tell them what happened?"

McCoy gives a sigh and scratches at his stubble on his cheek.

"I have to. They have to know why their captain is in a bio-bed and why the XO is in the brig. I'm third in command and I'm not happy about it so I need them to do the extra work until Jim is fit enough to take back over and he can find someone to fill the two jobs that Spock previously filled. I'm of better use in sickbay and id rather not leave Jim alone not now, not when he needs someone so much."

Christine nods her head, salutes at the captain (even though he is unconscious and cant see it) and leaves the room and McCoy to his thoughts. Ten minutes later McCoy leaves the private room and orders lieutenant Giotto to stand watch over the captain until he comes back with the order to fetch him if Jim wakes up earlier than expected. McCoy walks into his office to find all senior crew members in the room (Lieutenant Uhura, lieutenant Sulu, ensign Chekov and lieutenant-commander Scott). Uhura stands up as he enters.

"What has happened? Why is Spock in the brig?"

McCoy sits down in his chair and faces the others. He sees the concern on their faces.

"Spock... Spock attacked the captain."

Chekov looks at McCoy fear in his eyes.

"Why?"

Uhura looks shocked and confused, but suddenly she understands and gasps.

"He didn't, did he?"

McCoy nods his head, Uhura's face changes to show the horror she is feeling whilst the others in the room just look confused (Scotty doesn't know exactly what happened although he has guessed and guessed correctly at that). McCoy sighs and leans forward.

"What I'm about to tell you does not leave the room, understand? Not unless it is to the Admirals. Got it?"

They all nod in unison.

"For the last few days, Spock has kept Jim a prisoner in his quarters... where he... he..."

McCoy stops unable to say the words. Unable to explain what has happened to Jim, to his friend and captain. Fortunately he doesn't have to because Uhura speaks up, she turns to the three other men in the room.

"Spock has raped the captain."

Chekov faints. Sulu manages to catch him before he lands on the floor. Scotty helps carry him over to the couch where Chekov regains consciousness. He looks up at McCoy.

"Why would he do such a thing?"

Before McCoy can answer Uhura steps in again.

"Because the captain must be mentally compatible."

Scotty looks pissed off .

"So that's an excuse is it?"

"No of course not but you have to understand, Spock didn't do this for some sick and twisted fun, he did it to survive."

Sulu looks even more confused.

"How can doing that, how can that save his life?"

Uhura looks like she is fighting some internal battle, which she is (does she tell them all about Pon-Farr or does she let them keep thinking that their first officer will attack anyone) eventually she decides to tell them.

"He's going through something called Pon-Farr, it's the Vulcan mating drive. Ever since the destruction of Vulcan unbonded males have being going into premature Pon-farr. In most cases they have been found willing partners to bond with and so go through their time safely but Spock didn't have anyone except me and it turns out that I'm not compatible enough to go through it. He would have tried to meditate away but if the captain tried to touch Spock no matter how innocent that touch; it would have shred his control. Spock didn't want to hurt anyone, that's why he locked himself in his room but that one touch and he would turn into a pre-reform Vulcan until he had sated his desires."

"What do you mean pre-reform?"

Uhura looks at the men.

"Don't you know anything about Vulcan's history?"

All four men shake their heads.

"Three thousand years ago Vulcan's were violent predators who lived in tribes and clans before Surak came along and converted them to logic. They allowed their emotions to rule them and in doing so it almost destroyed them. Not everything is known about Pon-Farr because they keep their lips tightly sealed when that topic comes up."

"So we all have to be worried about the next time Spock decides to go into pon-fair."

"No you don't, at the moment I believe that Spock's Pon-Farr is over..."

McCoy interrupts.

"How can you be sure?"

Uhura looks at him.

"How many people were attacked trying to remove the captain from Spock's sight?"

"I was."

"When did you try to take him?"

"Yesterday."

"But today no one was injured right?"

McCoy nods.

"Then he's no longer in Pon-Farr because he would have hurt you if not killed you."

Suddenly the sirens in the office start going off. McCoy rushes over to the screen, swears and then runs out of the office. The others in the room follow him to the private rooms where Jim is in convulsions.

"What the hell caused this?"

McCoy keeps jabbing Jim with hypo after hypo but nothing is working. Uhura steps forward.

"Leonard, did Jim tell you if they bonded."

McCoy looks at Uhura for a second.

"No but Spock did. Why?"

"Jim is suffering because Spock is too far away, they are newly bonded."

"There is no way I'm letting that fucking scumbag near Jim."

"We can keep security in here to make sure nothing happens but trust me Jim does need Spock."

McCoy continues to inject Jim with hypos whilst talking.

"Fine send for him but warn him that if he even tries to hurt Jim I'll kill him."

Uhura nods and leaves the sickbay along with Scotty and they head down to the brig together. Ten minutes (and various curses, hypos and pacing) later Spock walks into the room flanked by three armed security guards and Scotty and Uhura. Spock heads straight over to Jim where he picks Jim up and pulls him into his arms, McCoy scowls but doesn't say anything especially when Jim's stats go back to normal. Jim unknowingly continues to sleep in Spock's arms.

"Right you've held him long enough. Lie him back down and move away."

Spock strokes Jim's hair, he looks up at McCoy. McCoy scowls again.

"You said nothing about having to touch him the whole time you with him you said you only had to be near him."

Spock nods and gently lie down Jim and carefully covers him with the blanket. He tucks Jim in and then moves over to the wall; far enough away to not be in the way but close enough to Jim so that Jim doesn't become ill again. McCoy immediately sits down next to Jim and strokes Jim's hand, he ignores Spock's growls and instead turns his attentions back to the heads of departments.

"So the reason I asked you all here in the first place is because I need you guys to take over for Jim until he's well enough to pick his own XO and Science Officer and I cant take over as captain even though technically I should because I'm better off in sickbay then on the bridge, so this what I want to happen; I want Scotty to be acting captain, you can pick your own XO though either of the lieutenants Sulu and Uhura would be best and if Chekov would take over as Science officer."

Scotty looks at McCoy like he's crazy then smiles and nods.

"I'll have both, if they don't mind. That way they don't have to deal with two roles on their own."

The other three agree.

"Good now don't you have jobs to go do?"

Chekov looks at the captain.

"We can come back and see the captain yes?"

"Yeah you can come back any time. I'm sure Jim would appreciate it."

Chekov nods and both he and Sulu leave together. Scotty claps McCoy on the shoulder.

"Do you want to do poker night in here later?"

"Yeah Jim should be awake by then and I'm sure he wont want to miss it."

Scotty throws one last dark look at Spock and then leaves. Which means that only Uhura, Jim, McCoy, Giotto and the two security guards and Spock are left in the room. McCoy looks over at Spock.

"How far can you be from Jim before he starts going into convulsions again?"

"I do not know."

McCoy looks at the security guards.

"Take him into the next room, if you don't hear any sirens leave him in there and use it as his makeshift jail cell."

The three security guards motion for Spock to leave the room and he does so but it is obvious that he is reluctant to go, he casts one last longing glance at Jim before leaving and enters the next room. When it is obvious that no sirens have gone off he sits down on the bio-bed and casts his eyes on the floor. The security guards leave him on his own as they will be standing out side the door so that no one will enter and that he cant leave. He cannot believe that it has come to this but he is grateful that they will be approaching New Vulcan in 2.9 days. Just then the door opens and Spock looks up to find Uhura in the room.

"Are you not afraid to be in the same room as me?"

"No Spock, I know you wont attack me, I also know that now you are no longer in Pon-Farr you will not attack Jim either especially as he is now your bond-mate."

"I did not mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to harm Jim. My culture says that you should not regret the past but I cannot stop regretting all the mistakes I have made. I should have been strong enough to let Jim leave."

Uhura goes to take one step towards Spock when a message comes through the comm unit on the wall that there is a ship on an intercept course.

"Go deal with the ship Nyota I will be fine."

"You hate that word, you never use."

"Nyota go. Do your duty. Protect Jim."

Uhura nods her head and leaves the room. Spock sits silently on his own wishing he could do something to help.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Still don't own :'(

AN: Sorry about the wait for this chapter but sex and violence is easier to write than writing about the aftermath.

Chapter 6

Uhura makes it to the bridge in less than three minutes and sits down at her console just as the incoming ship hails. Scotty is in the centre seat with Chekov at navigation and Sulu at the helm.

"Run continuous scans Mr Chekov."

"Aye Captain."

Uhura swivels her chair to look at Scotty.

"Sir the ship is hailing us."

"On screen Lieutenant."

The screen changes from a view of the stars to show an austere looking Vulcan. He raises his hand in the traditional Ta'al.

"This is Acting Captain Scott of the USS Enterprise."

"This is Captain Savock of the Uzh Yel, I am carrying Vulcan passengers who wish to board your ship. They are the Vulcan ambassadors to Earth, one would like to see his son. I believe you have commander Spock on board."

Scotty nods his head. Scotty looks at Sulu.

"There is also a healer joining them."

"Lieutenant Sulu go meet our guests in the transport room. Very well, we'll beam your guests over once you have dropped your shields."

Sulu gets up from the helm and motions for his relief to take over and goes down to the transporter room. As he reaches the room three people materialise; two men and a woman. Sulu recognises one of them immediately is Sarek the man who had to pull Spock off of the captain when they were facing Nero.

"Ambassador. It is a pleasure to see you again." He turns to the other two guests. "I'm lieutenant Sulu"

Syrek looks like he is trying to keep a smile off of his face. Sulu looks back at Sarek who indulges in human customs.

"The pleasure is mine. This is Ambassador Syrek and Healer T'Myra. We are here to see my son Spock; I believe he is in need of our assistance."

All three Vulcan's can not help but notice the way Sulu's face has darkened at the mention of Spock.

"What has happened lieutenant? What has my son done?"

Sulu looks at Sarek for a minute trying to find a way to put in to words exactly what Spock has done. Sulu tries to usher the trio out of the room and away from the transporter technicians.

"I think that it would be better for everyone if we talk by sickbay."

The three Vulcan's agree and follow Sulu out of the room. He leads them to sickbay but stops just outside.

"Spock was in Pon-Farr but he isn't any more."

Sulu notices that both the ambassadors have gone green at the mention of Pon-Farr. The healer T'Myra looks nonplussed he guesses that she must have to deal with a lot of patients with it.

"How do you know about Pon-Farr?" Sarek asks.

"Dr McCoy had to tell us. The command crew that is. Because Spock cannot be in command and the captain is in sickbay."

The healer looks at Sulu.

"Who did Spock mate with in order to survive his time?"

Sulu looks angry.

"The captain. It was the captain, but he never agreed... he never consented to be Spock's mate. He forced the captain. Which is why he is in sickbay."

Syrek looks saddened at the news, wishing illogically that they had gotten here sooner.

"In that case I will have to see both Spock and your captain to assess what needs to be done."

"You'll have to speak to Dr McCoy first."

"Where is Spock?"

The group enters sickbay.

"He's in the room next to the captain."

"Why is he there? Is he injured?"

"The captain went into convulsions because Spock was too far away; apparently they are bonded so Spock was taken from the brig and brought here so that the captain can get better."

Dr McCoy exits Jim's private room and heads over to the Vulcans, lieutenant Sulu takes his leave and heads back to the bridge.

"Ambassador, nice to see you again."

"Indeed Doctor."

McCoy points to the room next to the one he has just come out of.

"Spock's through there, I assume that's who you have come to see."

"Your deduction is logical doctor."

The healer and Ambassador Sarek disappear into the acknowledged room leaving Syrek with McCoy.

"I would like to see Jim if that is at all possible doctor."

"Yeah he's sedated at the moment but he'll wake up in a few minutes."

The two men walk into Jim's room where Syrek is shocked to see Jim so thin and pale, he has also got an IV line in his arm. Syrek sits down in the chair nearest to the bed and patiently waits for Jim to waken. McCoy sits fiddles with the IV making sure that it still working properly and checks all the monitors before sitting down on the bed next to Jim and holds his hand. Jim begins to waken slowly until the memories of the past few days rush back and he bolts up wide awake, he looks worried until McCoy gives him a rare smile which takes to mean that he is safe.

"You're OK kid, your safe. Spock's not here but you do have a visitor."

Jim sees Syrek. Jim doesn't smile like he usually does when they speak and Syrek regrets its absence, he grabs McCoy's arm.

"Stay."

His voice is barely a whisper . McCoy nods and gives another rare smile.

"As if I am gonna leave you alone at the mo especially with him next door. It's like all he does is cause you pain. First he maroons you, then he almost kills you and now this."

McCoy throws a glance at Syrek before turning back Jim.

"So what did you wish to talk to Jim about?"

"How are you Jim?"

McCoy looks back at Syrek and rolls his eyes, Syrek ignores him. Jim ignores the question.

"So what name are you going by on the colony?"

"Syrek."

McCoy looks confused.

"Why would he need to go by a name?"

McCoy looks back at Syrek.

"Who are you?"

Syrek looks slightly ashamed.

"In another universe and time I was known as Commander Spock of Vulcan and bond-mate of Jim Kirk."

"WHAT?"

McCoy looks furious at Syrek.

"Get out of my sickbay now."

Syrek looks at Jim but Jim refuses to meet his eye so Syrek leaves. He is escorted from sickbay to guest quarters by a yeoman. McCoy starts pacing Jim's room.

"Two of them. Two Spock's? Damn it."

He stops pacing and looks at Jim.

"And you knew and didn't tell me."

Jim looks upset.

"It was classified, if I hadn't met old Spock on Delta Vega it would have been classified beyond even my level only three admirals and the high council on Vulcan know who he really is."

McCoy appears pacified by this and calms down, he gives Jim's arm a squeeze.

"Sorry I shouldn't have gotten mad but I don't want either near you."

"Neither do I. I can feel Spock in my mind, I can feel his emotions and hear his thoughts."

"That's probably due to the bond. What's he thinking about?"

"Me. I don't want to feel this, I don't want to feel him."

"Do you want me to sedate you until the bond is broken?"

Jim is about to answer when the door opens and the healer walks in followed closely by Spock. Jim immediately begins to panic. McCoy scowls at the healer.

"What do you think you are doing? Are you crazy? Get him out of here."

"Doctor I need him here in order to break the bond."

Spock looks aghast as the idea of losing Jim totally. If the bond is broken then Jim could still leave. Jim is still hyperventilating, McCoy uses a mild sedative to calm Jim down.

"Well you could have given some warning, so Jim would have time to prepare."

"It is not logical to wait."

"It is if someones mental health is at risk."

"I will need to see your mind james."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Me No Ownie :(

Chapter 7

_There is so much noise, some you would expect from the night and others that had no right to be there. Running so much running, running from the fires and guns, running from the pain and hunger, so much running. Death is everywhere you look, friends, families, pets, all gone; all not worthy. You keep running, you have to; to survive, to help the others. But you are not fast enough you are only a child._

_Bring him to me!_

Jim jerks away with a scream, McCoy is instantly awoken and rushes to his friend. Jim takes deep calm breaths, whilst McCoy fetches him a glass of water.

"What happened? What did you dream about? Was it Spock again?"

Unable to speak, Jim just nods even though its not true. This was not the first time Jim had had this nightmare whenever he was afraid the nightmares would come back, they always came back and so Jim had suffered from nightmares for the past three nights since being released from sickbay.

"Don't worry kid he cant harm you here. I wont let him. Now do you want a sedative so you can sleep or another day off, you don't have to go back to work tomorrow. You can take another day."

Jim just shakes his head emphatically.

"No that bastards taken too much from me already, I m not gonna let him take any more from me. I'm going back to work tomorrow and I don t need a hypo I ll be fine."

Jim lies back down on the bed and McCoy tucks him back in. McCoy fusses for a bit but then lies back down on the cot he had brought into his quarters.

"Sleep well kiddo."

"You too bones."

**Next Morning**

"Where's my uniform?"

McCoy ignores Jim and rolls over and goes back to sleep. At least until Jim wakes him up again by shaking him.

"Come on bones you can go back to sleep when I'm on duty, I don t know where my uniform is."

McCoy's head pokes out of the pile on his bed.

"Is over there, bottom drawer."

And then he promptly falls back asleep. Jim eventually manages to find his uniform and goes through his usual morning ritual and the heads of to the bridge with a smile on his face, totally looking forward to being back at work. That nice pleasant feeling only lasted for a few minutes (the time it took to get to the bridge). Jim steps out of the lift and onto the bridge where his smile dies instantly, he feels like he has been punched in the gut because standing by his Chair (yes it's a capital letter but its awesome, it swings and everything)is Spock who looks at Jim like he's the only thing in the world. Jim understandably begins to panic.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you in the brig?"

Spock takes a step towards Jim. Jim begins to hyperventilate; the bridge crew look worried.

"I was released and reported for duty as required by regulations."

Spock takes another step forward.

"Stay from me."

Jim bolts from the bridge and goes back to his and McCoy's quarters, he almost collapses as soon as he gets through the door.

"Bones, wake up, please. I need you."

McCoy again wakes instantly.

"Christ kid what's happened?"

"They released him from the brig. He was on the bridge, he was in my chair. They let that animal sit in my Chair."

"Calm down Jim, here sit, while I get you connected to Pike."

A few minutes later and Jim is looking at his pseudo-father Admiral Christopher Pike.

"Why is Spock allowed on my bridge?"

"We cant charge him."

Jim looks shell shocked, McCoy comes over and puts a gentle hand Jim s shoulder.  
McCoy looks pissed.

"Because his father is the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth, and he has used his diplomatic immunity to protect his son. We cant do anything to punish him, we cant fire him, cant transfer him, we cant even demote him."

"What am I going to do? I cant trust him, I hate him, I cant even bear the idea of even being in the same room let alone being with him on my own. When I went onto that bridge today, he looked at me like nothing had happened."

"I'm sorry Jim. I don t know how to help you, but there is nothing I can do, if his father wasn t a diplomat and a good one at that we might have been able to swing something. I m sorry Jim, there's nothing I can do."

Jim looks away, brain working furiously, then an idea comes to him.

"So let me get this right you cant demote, transfer or fire Spock because that will be seen as punishing him which according to the law you cant do?"

Pike nods, clearly wondering where this is going.

"What if you don't demote but promote him?"

"How would that punish him?"

"He doesn't want command he told me so after the narada incident and he wont be on my ship so I don t have to see him everyday."

"Didn't... weren't... aren't you bonded to him?"

"Well technically yes. But fortunately the healer brought on board managed to block it so that I cant feel it."

"Then we cant promote him, bonded couples cant be separated."

Jim looks crestfallen.

"What am I going to do? If he wont leave then I will."

"Jim I ve already said we cant separate you."

"Then I quit."

Pike looks so shocked and a little bit angry.

"No Jim. don't do that. don't throw your life away because of him."

Jim looks defeated.

"Then I don't know what to do, how do I deal with this?"

Pike thinks for a moment or two.

"Swap his shifts around put him on delta shift, any shift that you are not on, but make sure he is still on bridge shifts so he cant complain about being treated unfavourably, put him in the labs on alpha shifts and any shifts you might take. And take some more self-defence classes, especially the ones suited to heavy gravity worlds, get them to train you on how to fight back and learn all you can about Vulcan anatomy, you'd be surprised how much that information comes in handy when it comes to fighting."

Jim nods.

"Give me a minute to talk to bones will ya?"

Again Jim nods and he leaves the room.

"What'd you want to talk about?"

"How is he really?"

"Angry, scared as hell and a little bit depressed, but I think you already know that Sir."

"This isn't an official call so you don t need to be polite. I wish I could protect him, he feels like he's my son and I'd do anything for him. But I feel so helpless, I hate this, he's been through so much as it is. If I ever get my hands on Spock..."

"If you got your hands on him, I'd willingly give you an alibi."

Pike gives McCoy a very flirty smile but before he can say anything he gets an important message come through his PADD.

"I'm sorry I've got to deal with this, talk to the kid for me and make sure he doesn't quit, I'll call back soon."

And with that he hangs up and Jim walks in the room.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"All of it. He likes you."

"Yeah yeah. Do you want me to come up and sit on the bridge with you whilst you kick Spock out?"

"Please."

McCoy sighs and agrees, looks around for a clean uniform and then follows Jim into the turbo-lift and onto the bridge. Spock looks up when the lift opens and gets out of the Chair.

"Captain on deck."

Jim looks as though he wants to say something to Spock but bottles it and turns to face lieutenant Uhura instead. Spock takes a step towards Jim, not liking the closeness he see between Jim and McCoy.

"Jim."

Jim gets pissed off.

"That's Captain Kirk to you. Only my friends can call me Jim. And you commander are not my friend."

Jim looks back at Uhura.

"Lieutenant please call up Mr Spock s replacement as he will be spending alpha shift in the science labs for the foreseeable future."

The lieutenant nods and turns back to her station and Jim turns back to look at Spock who looks like he wishes to speak.

"You may have your daddy protecting you from the law but this is my ship. I may not be able to throw you off it but I can throw you off my bridge. Good day commander, don't allow the door to hit you on your way out."

Spock opens his mouth to speak but then closes it, he looks around the bridge and finds no support not even from Uhura; she refuses to even try and catch his eye, so he acquiesces and leaves. He takes the lift down to the science labs where for the first time he is ignored and so he shuts himself off as he has done since his release from the brig and works through alpha and beta shifts before deciding to go back to his quarters for the first time in three days.

Spock walks into his quarters to find it in the same state he had left it;bed rumpled, now rotting fruit on the floor, a smashed comm unit and the remains of Jim s trousers and underwear by the bathroom door. Images come to the front of his mind and start to play like a movie making him remember everything he has done to his captain in excruciating detail, a dry sob rips through his throat and he collapses onto the floor.

_What have I done? Oh Jim please forgive me. T'hy'la I beg of you please._

Spock feels water running down his face he looks up to see if there is a leak before realising that they are tears and they are coming from him. Spock curls in on himself sobbing and shaking, until his PADD goes off . Spock pull himself together and gets rid of any tears, straightens his clothes, schools his face into its Vulcan mask and answers the call. Its pike and he doesn t look happy.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I still don't own it, I guess I never will. :(

Chapter 8.

Spock wakes the next morning feeling so alone and ashamed, he attempts to meditate but keeps going over the previous evenings conversation (I say conversation but he scarcely managed to get a single word in).

"Admiral Pike..."

Pike glared at Spock.

"You dared to go on his bridge? What the hell were you thinking? Do you even know what you have done? Jim has been through too much already and that was before you attacked him. If you ever go near Kirk again your daddy will not be able to save you from what I will put you through. Do I make myself clear?"

And with that Pike had hung up.

Spock had barely got an hour of sleep what with his mind going a hundred miles a minute. If his mother was here she would tell him what to do, how to explain and apologise, how to make it up to Jim, but she's gone and Spock's heart bleeds a little more at the memory of her. Not for the first time Spock wishes that he had not survived Pon-Farr.

Just as Spock manages to get into a deeper level of meditation the buzzer to his door goes, Spock lets out a very un-Vulcan sigh, tightens his robe and answers the door to Lieutenant Uhura.

"Nyota, what can I do for you?"

Nyota looks around her as though she expects someone to be watching them and pushes past him and into his quarters.

"We need to talk."

"What is wrong?"

"I cant do this any more, I cant be with you any more. I know what happened wasn't your fault, I know that you had no more control over the situation than Jim but you are now bonded to him and so we can never bond. There is no future in this relationship especially as you will never be able to break the bond. You cant even be put on different ships or star-bases. Your careers are intrinsically linked now as well as your lives. I will still be your friend but I will need some time apart. I know this is bad timing but there is no point to letting this relationship linger because we would end up resenting each other and I don't want that."

"I agree, I will give you as much time as you need as I do not wish to lose your friendship as it is dear to me."

Nyota gives him a small smile and leaves Spock alone. Spock sits down on his meditation mat and tries to meditate again, this time he successfully manages to meditate by suppressing his emotions rather than controlling them, after 2.6 hours Spock rises and sets about preparing for the coming day (he is working two shifts today gamma and alpha), he looks through his messages and sees that he is to prepare for a first contact. Spock's heartbeat increases by 4.38% when he sees that he is to beam down with the captain and two members of security. He also has a briefing with Jim at the beginning of the alpha shift.

Meanwhile on the other side of the ship

"Are you out of your god-damn mind? What are you thing taking it down to the planet with you?"

Jim puts his hand on McCoy's shoulder trying to calm him down.

"Do you think I want to take him with me? It's out of my hands, Komack said that the only way these people will talk to us is if we both go down. They want the command team who defeated the Narada. So I have to take him with me. I still don't trust him and I wont trust him but I've been taking some self-defence classes with some of the heavy world security officers, I know how to fight back, so don't worry about me. OK?"

McCoy sighs and calms down slightly.

"Kid I'll always worry about you. You know that."

Jim gives him a small smile wondering what he had done to earn such a great friend.

"I know bones and I appreciate it. Now I'm knackered and I'm gonna go to bed, are you coming?"

"You do realise that half the ship thinks we're fucking each other right?"

"So?"

"So maybe I don't want everyone thinking we're together."

Jim's face falls when he realises he's been screwing with McCoy's chances of getting with someone by being so clingy.

"Oh OK, I'll go back to my old quarters, I'll give you some space."

"And what happens the next time you have nightmares? Or insomnia? How will you be able to sleep knowing that he is in the next room?"

"I'll be fine bones, I always am."

"Kid you can stay with me as long as you need to. Now go on, go get some sleep and take a hypo if you need something to help you to sleep. I'll be there in a couple of hours, I've got to finish some paperwork and check on a couple of patients. Now get out of here you're cluttering up my sickbay and making it look messy."

Jim just nods and leaves, McCoy takes a deep breath and flexes his fingers wishing for the thousandth time to wrap them around Spock's throat.

After reading his messages Spock leaves his quarters and heads to the science labs passing by Dr McCoy's (for no other reason then it been the quickest route to the laboratories and not because it takes him close to Jim) as he passes by McCoy's quarters he hears Jim crying out in pain and fear Spock stops outside the door, he wonders whether he should enter but before he can decide he hears McCoy try and calm Jim down. Spock clenches his fists and walks away struggling to contain his feelings; guilt at causing Jim's suffering and anger at being unable to soothe his mates pain. Spock walks quickly to the labs, before he does something he will regret (like ripping McCoy away from Jim and pulling Jim into his arms and holding him close), Spock sequesters himself in the labs for the duration of his shift where he fights to keeps his thoughts on his experiments and not on Jim but he fails and has to repeat several experiments as they need his full attention. Eventually it is time for him to head to the transporter room where he is to meet Jim and Dr McCoy for a briefing on the species and culture they are to meet.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own and I don't make any money either.

Chapter 9

Spock arrives at the transporter room early when he receives a message asking for him to meet Jim in conference room one. Spock heads out of the room and towards the lift where he is joined by McCoy. Neither say anything to one another and they enter the turbo lift in silence, after a few minutes the lift stops and the two men head out, both still ignoring the other. After a few minutes they arrive outside the conference room to find Jim already there as well as the heads of departments. McCoy takes his customary seat on Jim's left, Spock goes to sit at his usual seat next to Jim on his right when Chekhov moves seats and sits in Spock's place, none of the people in the room comment, so Spock sits down in Chekhov's seat about as far away from Jim as he could be in the room. Jim doesn't look up when Spock enters in fact you would have thought that he didn't know except he had gone sheet white when the door had opened.

"Thank you all for coming, we here to talk about the landing party today. Ensigns Shaw and Booth will be going down along with me and..." Jim takes a deep breath. "Commander Spock."

"Are you sure that is wise Captain?" asks Scotty.

"They want the command crew who stopped the Narada. So I've got no choice. Anyway I want to ask what knowledge anyone has about the culture and the people of this planet."

lieutenant Uhura sits up straighter in her seat.

"The dominant lifeforms on Raesilo are lizard like creatures but are six-foot tall and walk upright on their hind legs, the culture is a matriarchal society with the females being bigger and stronger than the males. They are cold blooded hence the hot planet. They are extremely formal in their approach to business. They do not believe in subordinates talking over their superiors so if the rest of the landing team wish to speak they must wait until the Captain has finished."

"Thank you lieutenant Uhura, what about the type of planet we will be going down to?"

Spock opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by his second in command Lieutenant D'Amato the senior geologist speaks up.

"It is a class M planet although it leans more towards the hottest end of the scale with average daily temperature of 41 degrees Celsius, there are large caverns under the surface which appear to contain large bodies of water and there are a few oasis's on the surface but they tend to be near the poles."

"So it's gonna get hot that you lieutenant, is there any more information I should know?" When everyone in the room shakes their heads "Very well, in that case you are all dismissed. If ensigns Booth and Shaw and Commander Spock will meet me in the transporter room in ten minutes."

The crew get up and leave but McCoy and Jim stay behind. Spock is the last to leave, he looks at Jim searchingly but he obviously doesn't see what he wants because he looks away and leaves.

"Are you sure about this Jim? Do you really want to go down, I'm sure I could give you a medical reason not to go down or for me to come with you."

"I'll be fine, I wont be down there long anyway and I'll tell you everything that happens."

McCoy shrugs his shoulders and leads the way out of the room. They go to sickbay where Jim is given a quick once over and hands Jim a bag of tri-ox and allergy medicine.

"Keep these with you at all times, you will need them, I've given ensigns Booth and Shaw some tri-ox too."

Jim gives McCoy a quick hug and then runs out of sickbay to the sounds of McCoy's disgust.

"I'm a doctor not a teddy bear!"

Jim grins all the way to the transporter room until he spots Spock staring at him, Jim gets up onto the transporter pad and waits for the others to join him. Spock goes to stand in his normal position just behind Jim but ensign Booth stands in the way so Spock tries to stand as close as he can get without success and ends up with the two security guards glaring at him. Spock moves to stand over a metre away.

Jim is nervous and uncomfortable as he beams down what with Spock being so close. The first thing that they notice when they beam down is the absolute heat of the planet, it is one thing to hear hot something is and quite another to experience it, the heat is almost crippling and Jim breaks out into a sweat. He looks over at the rest of the team both Booth and Shaw look extremely uncomfortable but Spock appears to be in his element, Spock notices Jim's gaze and takes a step closer, Jim wrenches his eyes away and focuses on the welcoming committee who are walking towards them. This is Jim's first diplomatic mission of his captaincy and he is desperate no to mess up. The welcoming committee is made up of three rather large reptilian creatures, they remind Jim of the now extinct Komodo dragons except these walk upright on two feet instead of four. The Raesielions step forward and bow.

"Greetings Captain Kirk and Commander Spock, welcome to Raesiel." The Raesielions speak with a slight rasp at the end almost like a rattle snakes tail. Both Jim and Spock step forward and bow respectfully.

"Thank you for your gracious welcome."

"Come, we will go in to the powerhouse, we have much to discuss."

The starfleet officers are lead into a building not to far away from where they beamed down, the interior is slightly cooler and the three humans start to feel less likely to bake to death. They are led to a small chamber and kirk and Spock are ushered to sit down, the Raesielions basically ignore the two security officers who are continually on the lookout for danger. The three Raesielions sit down in the other seats, their long tails poking out the back of the chairs. A smaller, slimmer Raesielion enters the room baring a tray of drinks which he hands out in order of seniority and in the case of the ensigns hands the drink first to ensign Shaw. The humans gratefully accept the drinks although Jim only takes a sip, he waits a few minutes and when he doesn't have a reaction to the beverage he greedily gulps down the rest, the smaller Raesielion then refills the drinks and leaves.

"Thank you for the drinks they taste amazing."

The Raesielions nod their heads in unison over the praise.

"We would like to begin negotiations now."

And with that they settle down to business. It is a long and grueling three days before they are finally able to agree on a settlement which is acceptable to both parties. Everyday Jim and Spock are forced to sit next to each other and each day Jim becomes more and more antsy due to the fact that Spock keeps moving closer and closer to Jim so much so that there is barely any room between them and every so often Spock's fingers will brush up against Jim's. The Raesielions are also become a lot more friendly to Jim (and by friendly I mean down right licentious). So all in all Jim is glad to be back on board the ship where he is immediately dragged of to sickbay where he is given a quick once over by McCoy and treated for mild dehydration.

"How are you feeling Jim? Did that hobgoblin keep his distance?"

"I'm good, I didn't have any allergic reactions or anything."

McCoy looks suspiciously at Jim. He knows Jim is being deliberately evasive about his second question.

"What did he do Jim?"

Jim looks away.

"He... he kept entering my personal space and touching my hands..." He sees the look of anger on McCoy's face.

"I'm guessing you don't know that vulcans kiss with their hands, you didn't did you?" Jim shakes his head horrified. "I'm gonna kill that bastard, he should know by now that he shouldn't touch you."

Jim becomes slightly panicky so McCoy gives him a light sedative.

"Why wont he leave me alone? Why does he keep doing this to me?"

McCoy gets a dark look cross his face.

"I don't know Jim but I don't like it. Don't worry I'll make sure he stays away from you."

Jim gives McCoy a look of gratitude.

"Thanks Bones your the best."

"Yeah yeah I know, now go on, go get some rest."

Jim hops off the biobed, slaps McCoy playfully on the shoulder and heads out of sickbay and goes back to his quarters, he meets a few of his crew on the way who all smile and salute him and Jim smiles back (even though it feel false cause all he wants to do is crash on his bed) and eventually Jim makes it to his quarters and locks himself in and is just about to start to get ready for bed when he realises that there is a message being piped into the comm unit. Jim answers the call and Syrek's (AKA Old Spock) face appears on the screen.

"Hello Jim."

Syrek's eyes seem to give Jim a once over.

"Syrek, how are you?"

"I am good old friend, what about you? How are you?"

"You know me, I'm great better than ever."

Syrek frowns almost imperceptibly.

"I do know you Jim..."

Tired of being first compared to a dead man and now compared to a man who does not exist Jim finally snaps at Syrek.

"No you don't, you knew someone who looked like me, you knew someone with the same name as me but you don't know me."

Jim sighs and looks away from the far too familiar face.

"Is there a reason why you called?"

"I merely wished to see you again, we did not speak much the last time we met."

"Yeah well I wasn't feeling up to seeing visitors."

"I understand Jim, I was not blaming you. Jim look at me please."

Jim looks at Syrek he appears to be agitated.

"Syrek look I'm sorry I cant do this right now. Between you and first officer Spock I don't know who is worse him for attacking me or you for killing my counterpart, I don't know how to trust you either of you, I no longer feel safe on my ship, do you know that I am back to sharing a room with bones because I can no longer sleep on my own? I don't know what to do, or how to act any more."

Syrek looks visibly shocked.

"Jim oh my dear Jim no wonder you do not want me around, you should never have received those memories, I should have never used the mind meld but time was short and I was too emotionally compromised at the time. But you are wrong I only thought that I killed my Jim, however Dr McCoy had the idea to use a chemical compound to make it look as though Jim had died. I was prepared to resign my commission and hand me over to the authorities when to my surprise Jim was awake and alive and healthy. I have never been so relieved in all of my life."

Jim feels surprised at the open emotion being revealed both on syrek's face and in his voice.

"But you still thought you killed, you didn't know that it was a chemical induced coma so you still killed him."

Syrek sighs audibly.

"Jim you have understand about Pon-Farr, during the plak tow no male is in control of his actions he is driven purely on instinct to either claim their mate or to fight for their mate, in my case Jim was chosen by my intended to fight for her as her champion so I saw him as a threat whereas in Spock's case he saw you as a compatible mate he would have instantly known that you would be able to survive the plak tow. The Spock you knew up to that point was locked away and now he has to deal with the consequences that were beyond his control. If he hadn't mated the hormonal imbalance would have killed him. Only a healer would have been to help him through long enough to find someone to mate with."

"I... I need to think about this."

"I understand Jim but you are not the only one suffering, he has deal with what he has done, he has hurt his T'hy'la and that is anathema to a Vulcan. He will try and make it up to you in anyway he can."

Jim looks away again.

"I have to go, I've been up for the last three days and I need to sleep."

"Yes you should rest old friend. Sweet dreams."

"Good night."

Jim switches off the monitor and the screen goes blank and Jim is left alone in his room confused. Jim gets up out of his seat and goes into the bathroom to take a nice long shower and to finish getting ready for sleep. Jim had just finished getting ready for bed when the buzzer to his door goes off. Jim slips on a t-shirt and answers it to find Spock at the door. Jim backs off into the room terrified, Spock follows him in. Jim goes for his comm unit but doesn't make it, Spock grabs Jim firmly but gently and pushes Jim up against the wall. Jim panics.

"Stop, please stop. Don't do this not again, please. Spock please."

Spock nuzzles Jim's neck.

"I... Jim I will not hurt you. I do not want to hurt you, I will not hurt you." Spock turns Jim's face towards him and kisses him gently. Jim tries to push Spock away.

"Stop! Please. Why are you doing this?"

Spock inhales deeply.

"Your scent calls to me T'hy'la, it is like a siren's song and I cannot ignore it." Spock strokes Jim's cheek and pulls away. "I am sorry Jim, I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you. I..."

Spock turns and flees from the room.

For the two months Jim's neither hide nor hair of Spock and he finally starts to get back to something resembling normal and start doing all the things he used to do before Spock attacked; like fencing with Sulu, arguing with Scotty about his 'harmless upgrades', playing video games with Chekhov and taking language lessons from Uhura (who allows him to call her Nyota during the lessons). He also continues to drink with McCoy and attend the ships poker and blackjack nights. He still suffers from nightmares from his past and they are gradually getting worse (he doesn't understand why, surely they should be getting better?). McCoy starts spending a little less time with Jim as he is now dating Christine Chapel but that doesn't stop him from noticing that although Jim barely eats he is clearly gaining weight, he also notices that Jim is constantly tired and suffering from nausea most days, McCoy puts two and two together and call Jim in for an examination.

"Dammit Jim!"


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I can never own :(

Chapter 10

Spock is working (read hiding) in the labs as he had done for everyday since he had kissed Jim. He had continued to do double and triple shifts ever since and made sure that he hasn't gone any where near the mess or the rec rooms and taking his meals in his quarters (when he remember or feels it is safe to leave the labs) all to keep away from Jim. He was suffering more than anyone could understand and that was before the problems had started. His mind was crying out to be joined with Jim's, he had to stand by as Jim was injured on away missions which he wasn't allowed on so he couldn't protect Jim, he had to watch as Jim flirted with ambassadors and other guests they had carried across space. His emotions were constantly waging war in side of his mind, his cool demeanour so close to cracking with emotions so violent that he had only felt them twice in his life and both had involved his mother (one when he was twelve and broke a child's nose for insulting his mother and the other when she had died), guilt and love were to be his undoing it seems but the pain of the blocked bond threatened to completely destroy him.

Spock is completely emotionally and physically exhausted, he's trying so hard to be the perfect First Officer but most of his duties involve spending time with Jim, so to make it easier for Jim he writes short summaries on the first page of a long winded report, makes sure that when ever he has bridge duty on the shift before Jim he always leaves a few minutes early only handing over the conn to someone who has been trained for command and makes sure that he does most of Jim's paperwork so that Jim has more free time to spend with his friends.

Spock is so grateful that Jim is no longer living in the captains quarters because he is certain that he would not be able to stay away. The most challenging times for Spock are when Jim comes down for an impromptu inspection of the labs because Spock fears he would not be able to keep his hands off of Jim and then his father will have to bail him out of trouble again. Fortunately Dr McCoy will send him a message telling him to leave just before Jim arrives, not that McCoy is doing it for Spock in fact McCoy has threatened him on various occasions to stay away from Jim or else.

The rest of the crew have clearly taken Jim's side (not that Spock blames them, if had been anyone else h would have killed them), they have shown their support of Jim in multiple imaginative ways such as; someone has deleted all the Vulcan and vegetarian meals from the replicators although when he had no choice but to walk past the mess hall he can see people eating vegetarian meals and every time he uploads a code for a meal it will delete itself after one use. The climate controls in his room are always breaking and being set to below freezing but when he tries to repair it (engineering is always busy) it is broken again within an hour, any important experiments are destroyed and the data lost so he has to repeat a lot of experiments two or three times and added to this any reports he requests always mysteriously vanish or are lost in the system.

Spock wonders whether he should just leave the ship but he quashes that thought almost immediately, no matter how bad his life is at the moment he is at least near to Jim.

Spock is brought out of his musings by a message coming through on his PADD; it is from McCoy and it is telling him to get out of the labs because Jim is on his way. Spock grabs up all the information he needs and turns to leave but standing in the doorway and blocking his way out is Jim. But it cant be Jim, Jim would never willingly enter a room which has Spock in it so this must be an apparition, but it is the most beautiful and golden sight he has ever seen. It cannot be human. The apparition takes a step forward, almost nervously.

"Hello Spock."

When it speaks, it's voice is like honey and chocolate so sweet and smooth so intoxicating. All Spock's senses immediately go into overload, sound, sight, smell; the scent that this being is giving off smells like all of Spock's dreams so familiar and yet so foreign. His fingers are tingling desperate to touch every inch of this... this angel. His lips wish to taste and worship every part of Jim. Spock takes a step back to try and clear his mind but even that is screaming to reach out and touch.

Jim enters the room completely and the door closes behind him. Spock breaks out of his stupor and realises that is indeed the captain.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I still don't own, do any of us fan-girls (or fan-boys) every own it?

Chapter 11

Jim felt terrified just before entering Spock's office in the science labs but he had to speak with him. He had been given new orders to beam down to a planet that was known for its staunchly anti-federation policy however they now wanted to join after a new government had gotten into power but they had requested the hero's of the Narada Incident (of course) and would only speak to them, so Jim had to speak to Spock. They were not able to take any security with them which frankly made the hairs on his neck stand up. Jim didn't know what he was more afraid of; beaming down to a planet of federation haters or being in close quarters with Spock again. Jim takes a deep breath, if he is to spend time down on the planet alone with Spock he had better get used to talking to him in person.

Jim opens the door and stands in the doorway where he can see a clearly flustered Spock trying to grab lots of PADD's. He knows that every time he went down for an inspection McCoy had made sure that Spock wasn't there, he is so grateful for McCoy being his rock, maybe he should give him a raise for services tended to the captain?

Spock turns around and is obviously shocked to see Jim, Jim takes a step forward.

"Hello Spock."

Jim watches as Spock struggles to keep his distance, this is going to be harder than he thought. He takes another step forward and the door closes behind him. He takes a good look at Spock and is surprised by the amount of weight he appears to have lost. Spock seems to clear his head and moves away from Jim and sits down at his desk with his fingers clenched at his side.

"Why are you here?"

"Because I need to speak to you."

Spock looks up at his captain. Jim sits down on the other side of the desk.

"We need to be able to speak face to face with each other. You are still my executive officer."

"Have I done something wrong?"

Spock looks away.

"Since I... Did I do something more?"

"No. but don't you think what you did is bad enough?"

Spock looks back at his captain. He nods once.

"Spock, we're gonna have to work together because of our next mission. I need to know whether I can trust you or not. Can I? Can I trust you?"

"Ji- Captain, I promise that I will not hurt you and I will protect you if need be. I have no way to apologise to you for the pain I've caused. I have no way to make it up to you except for me to do my job to the best of my abilities. I know I have done wrong and I... I wish more than anything to take back what I did however I do not have a time turner so I must live with what I have done everyday. I will do what ever you want me too, no matter what it is, even if it goes against my personal ideals."

Jim nods his head, not knowing what to say to that, he still hates Spock for what he did but now it is tinged with a slight bit of pity. Spock seems to understand what Jim is thinking and decides to change the topic. Jim sits down in the chair opposite Spock, he is feeling absolutely terrified but is using all his command training not to show it. He puts a PADD on the desk and slides it over to Spock.

"What is the mission?"

"To go down to Eliser Prime and get them to sign up to the federation."

"They do not wish to join the federation."

"They do now, new government, new rules. What's more it is supposed to be a peaceful mission and so we are not allowed to bring any security personal with us. So it is going to be just you and me."

Spock stands up furious although not many people would notice. Jim becomes even more nervous.

"The admiralty expect us to go down to a well known federation planet with no security? What happens if we refuse to complete the mission?"

Jim takes a deep breath, Spock notices, he can see that Jim is nervous and so he brings his emotions under control.

"We get fired for non-compliance with a direct order."

"That is not a logical decision."

"Since when have Komack's decisions ever been logical. But those are our new orders. All the information you should need is on there. If you have any questions you can message me. We'll be beaming down to the planet at 0800 tomorrow."

Jim gets up out of the chair, Spock opens his mouth to speak again but Jim flees from the room. Jim immediately heads over to sickbay to see McCoy. He still feels shaky and sits down on one of the biobeds. McCoy immediately heads over, he frowns when he looks at the monitor and sees how fast Jim's heartbeat is.

"Jim are you al-right?"

"I'm fine Bones I've seen Spock."

"Dammit Jim. I told him to stay away from you. I'm sorry, next time I see him I'll..."

"It's al-right, it's not your fault besides I needed to speak to him anyway. Especially as we're going down to Exxon on this mission together."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it though."

"you think that I do? I wish I'd been able to shoot him out of an airlock."

McCoy smirks.

"I'm sure Scotty can make it look like an accident."

Jim laughs. He moves off the bed and heads into his private room, McCoy follows feeling slightly confused.

"what's up Jim?"

"Nothing, I just wanted you to run a scan on my baby. You know I don't want anyone to know yet. And anyone can walk into sickbay without us knowing."

McCoy smiles, he points to the bed and Jim lies down on it after removing his shirt. McCoy leaves the room and comes back with a hand held scanner,

"Right so lets look and see what she looks like."

"I cant believe I'm going to have a baby girl."

"Yeah yeah enough with the gushing, you're making me sick."

Jim smiles knowing that McCoy is happy that Jim is happy.

"When will we be able to hear the heartbeat?"

"Any time you want kiddo, the heart normally starts beating about five weeks, the only reason I haven't let you listen to it yet is because I am unsure about the effects of radiation of a part-vulcan foetus. But I had to consult with M'Benga and he says it should be fine from about now onwards."

"I'm glad you told M'Benga."

McCoy looks confused.

"You are?"

"Yeah course I am. Why do you think I poached him from the Excelsior? You should tell your head nurse too."

McCoy still looks confused.

"You just said you didn't want anyone to know yet."

Jim smiles.

"I don't want the main crew to know yet although I should probably tell the heads of departments soon. I just don't want Spock knowing, and I can trust you to make sure the other two wont tell anyone else. I'm still hoping that Spock will leave the ship even if he is the best XO in Starfleet. I should be over this now, I don't want to be so scared on my own ship. I shouldn't haven't to be. I'll just be glad to get this mission over with so that I can go back to pretending he doesn't exist."

"Jim you are not just going to get over this. But I think you are getting better, the therapy is definitely helping."

At Jim's disbelieving face McCoy smiles again.

"It is, a mouth a go you couldn't even consider going onto the same deck let alone into the same room as him, now you've just spent a ten minute with him."

Jim nods and then changes the subject back to his baby."

"So how long before I'll be able to hold her in my arms?"

McCoy snorts at Jim's _subtle _subject change.

"We're going off a human timetable here as she is mainly human so probably about 28 weeks but we'll have to keep an eye on you and you'll probably have to be on bed rest for the last month or so. I know you hate bed rest but you just aren't designed for carrying a baby even with your 'upgrade'. You'll have to tell command soon, I suggest you tell Chris first."

"I know, but he'll want to know why I kept her. And besides Komack already hates me, he''l get me thrown off the ship, after all he is my boss and he already told me that if I screw up any of the missions he'll demote me down to ensign."

"Jim this wasn't your fault and both I and Chris will raise seven kinds of hell if he tries to remove you from the ship, besides who will he put as Captain? Spock? That'll make him really popular."

Jim smiles again,

"I'll tell them soon, I promise."

"If you want I can be there when you tell them."

"Thanks Bones you're the best. See this is why I love you."

McCoy smiles and gives Jim a quick hug.

"Yeah I love you too kid. Now scram so I can get some work done."

Jim grins and leaves sickbay, his stomach starts rumbling so he decides to go to the mess and grab a bite to eat. He goes over to the replicaters and punches in a vegetarian meal. _'cant wait until I have meat again'._ McCoy had told Jim early on in his pregnancy that he is not to eat any meat as a Vulcan cannot digest it and so it makes them sick. Since then he has cut right back on his burgers and bacon. He cant believe how much meat he used to eat. He's just grateful that he hasnt had any cravings for weird food combinations yet. He grabs his meals and heads over to an empty table, however it is not empty for long as his main bridge crew join him. He's glad they've joined him because they are so entertaining what with Chekhov states that everything under the sun was made in Russia (To be honest he'd probably claim that the sun was Russian if he thought he could get away with it), then there's Sulu who always has new jokes and keeps flirting with Chekhov; Jim reckons that its only a matter of time before the pilot asks Chekhov out. Scotty is always good for a laugh especially when they start arguing over who the enterprise belongs to, he is actually surprised that Scotty is having his dinner at a normal time considering normally you have to pry his fingers off of the engines to get him to eat. Then finally there is Nyota (although he never calls her that out aloud) who always has a witty comeback to one of his pick-up lines. They've turned out to be really good friends especially since Nyota and Spock broke up, there's still the flirting that's going on but it's less antagonistic and more friendly banter, he is starting to see her a sister and as he refuses to sleep with any of his subordinates she knows that he know longer means it. Scotty is the first to stop eating; it's like he drinks the food.

""Well I back off to my engines, I'll see you in the morning Captain to beam you down."

Jim smiles and gives him a lazy salute; as he has a mouthful of food and the others say their goodbyes to Scotty. Then Chekhov and Sulu leave to go to the gym which leaves Jim and Nyota at the table together.

"Are you going to be all right with just Spock as your back up?"

"Honestly no. I don't know if I can trust him, I don't think that he'll do anything to the mission but it will still be him and me alone."

"Jim, he's no longer in Pon-Farr so he wont do anything. He has enough control not to hurt you in any way."

"Well we'll see."

Jim finishes off his food and goes back to his and McCoy's quarters where he actually has a decent nights sleep for the first time in two months. He still has nightmares but they are not as vivid or detailed as they have been and so he is able to sleep the whole night through. When he wakes he sees that McCoy hadn't slept in his bed so Jim gets up and pads over to his computer where he finds a message from McCoy saying that he was spending the night with Christine chapel but if he had any really bad nightmares he was to call him, Jim grins at the message and gets ready for the day. Jim has a quick breakfast and heads off to he transporter room where he finds Spock, McCoy and Scotty waiting for him.

"Am I late?"

McCoy scowls at Spock.

"No but I knew hobgoblin would get here earlier and I wanted to keep an eye on him and as for Scotty I reckon he's been here all night."

Scotty throws a mock-scowl McCoy's way and then carries on with whatever he was doing to the controls. McCoy hands Jim a bag with the label 'for Jim's allergies' Jim grins and claps McCoy on the shoulder.

"All right then lets get this show on the road."

Jim gets up onto the transporter pad followed closely by Spock, for one heart-stopping second he thinks that Spock is going to stand right behind him but Spock moves further away. Jim feels relieved he looks at the clock and then at Scotty.

"Energise Mr Scott, I'll see you in three days."

Scotty salutes and Jim feels the familiar tingle of the transporter before descending in to a trap.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Still don't own.

Chapter 12

Jim awakens to find himself locked in a cell, there is no sign of Spock. Jim rubs his head to try and dispel the headache he is developing. Jim groans and tries to sit up but he feels like his body weighs a thousand tonnes, he cant remember how he got here. The last memory he has is beaming down to the surface and then it all going black. He looks around at the cell he cant see a lot as most of it is in shadow; there is only one small dirty window which only allows a small amount of light in, Jim can see that it is night out, there is only a single bunk in the room and no other furniture.

The door to his cell opens and a man walks through, he says man but he cant be sure because he is in shadows but its definitely male though. The male is followed closely by what appears to be two rather large bugs they look like a cross between an ant and a cockroach only massive, they stand at about seven foot tall. The ant/cockroaches are dragging something behind them, the thing begins to stir. At the sound of a groan Jim slightly relaxes because although it is a sound he has never heard from this particular individual he would recognise him anywhere. It's Spock.

The male walks into the light from the window and Jim gasps, the man (for now he is certain that he is human) has a huge scar running down his face and one eye is missing. Jim begins to panic he knows this man, he has had nightmares about this man for over a decade. In fact Jim is the one who scared his face... it's Governor Kodos of Tarsus IV, the man responsible for the deaths of 8000 colonists, the man who allowed experiments to be conducted on the survivors 'to improve the human race and make us stronger', the man who was supposed to have been killed when Starfleet finally got off their asses and stormed the place.

Jim becomes catatonic his memories taking over, he is thrust right back to Tarsus without the memory of surviving. It feels like he is right back there as reality is ripped from him unable to see what is happening in the real world. Jim is 13 years old again and stood on a planet that is on the edge of apocalypse.

_'It is the first time in Jim's life where he can remember being treated with affection and respect, here he is not the son of a famous captain, here he is just Jim kirk (J.T to his friends). His aunt and uncle take care of him and treat how they treat their children. He finally has people in his life who actually care if he eats his meals or is home by nightfall, in short it is the first time in his short life where he feels like he has a family. All that changed two months after the election of Governor Kodos, a man who acted like he was the friendliest person on the planet but in real life he was a xenophobic, homophobic bigot who got off on watching people suffer. The first signs that should have caused alarm bells was when certain people went missing although he claimed that they had moved to other settlements or had decided to go to another planet. Then food levels in the storehouses started to drop, before he finally announced that there was a plague affecting the grain but they weren't to worry because he was going to take care of it but to do so he needed some of the workers to move into a separate part of town this was so that they could be taken care of and made sure they had enough to eat but it was a lie, he had weeded out the sick and the elderly as well as the ones with 'impure genes', Jim and his family were told that they were moving because two of the four of Jim's cousins had birth defects and they needed special treatment, Jim also 'needed special treatment' because of his allergies. The public thought what Kodos was doing was a good thing, they did not know that the man was taking a leaf out Hitler's rule book to genocide. The families were taken to their new 'town hall' Jim estimates that there is roughly six thousand people in the hall. From the very young to the very old, some of the children are playing at the back of the hall, Jim goes to join them, he doesn't really care or understand properly what is happening so he ignores the whispers and starts playing. Ten minutes later Kodos walks in with a swagger he moves to the podium followed by a squad of soldiers, nobody really bats an eye lid as Kodos always travelled with security he was a very paranoid man. _

"_Ladies and Gentlemen, can I have you attention please."_

_The adults stop whispering and pay attention to him. The children keep playing. Kodos gives a huge smile and people start to feel relieved they think that the problem has been fixed._

"_A solution has been found to fix the food shortage it may in fact help increase the food supply however it will mean a small sacrifice to you. Be happy to know that your lives will benefit the colony greatly. That is all."_

_The crowd is shocked, they think that its some kind of joke, the children stop playing as they notice the tension in the room increasing. Kodos gives another smile and then promptly leaves the room leaving behind his soldiers, the door is shut behind him. The soldiers aim their weapons at the crowd and start firing indiscriminately the room erupts into panic as people try to escape the carnage but the doors are locked. Jim sees an open window and grabs the children he is with and then helps them climb out of a window. Jim is the last to climb out of the window, he watches horrified as his aunt and three of his cousins are murdered, his uncle sees him escape and leads his fourth cousin over to the window but his cousin is killed before they make it halfway so Jim's uncle sacrifices himself giving Jim time to get to the woodland before the soldiers find them. _

_This is just the start of the horror, for almost six months Jim manages to keep his group of children alive, though their health is starting to deteriorate due to a lack of food, he loses a few to starvation and so starts taking bigger risks to make sure that the others survive. _

_After three months the children are found by a lone soldier whilst Jim is out hunting for food, Jim watches as the man lifts his communicator to radio in their location, Jim panics and grabs a large and heavy stone and uses it to smash the man's head in, blood goes everywhere. Some of the children start crying but the eldest child manages to calm them down. That night they spend awake as none can sleep. Time passes they all get thinner and sicker but they are surviving. Jim often goes without food if he cant find much. _

_Then on day he makes an almost fatal mistake, after nearly six months he heads back into the main town to scavenge some food when he is caught by one of the soldiers. He is dragged off to see Kodos who is clearly startled to see one of the weak still alive, he orders for Jim to be executed but before the soldier can fire Jim has taken his knife and used it to slash into Kodos' face. Although Kodos is pissed off, he admires Jim's spirit and decides to 'help' Jim and put him in the eugenics project._

_Jim doesn't remember much from the next two weeks as he was given high doses of painkillers to numb him from the multiple surgeries they had subjected him to. It is only on the last day before Starfleet arrive when Jim finally finds out what they have done to him._

"_Hello Jimmy boy, it's good to see you are finally awake I'm doctor Mathews. I have been treating you for the last two weeks. All signs seem to agree that the implant has been accepted into your body."_

"_Implant? What implant?"_

"_An Uterus. It will allow you to get pregnant."_

"_What have you done to me?"_

"_We are allowing you to become a better human, a more useful human."_

"_You've made me a freak."_

_The doctor steps aside to reveal a heavily bandaged Kodos._

"_You were already a freak James Kirk, but now you are a reproductively viable freak. You are still male but you can give birth."_

"_Why? Why would you do this?"_

At this Jim's memory begins to fade and Spock appears in front of him.

"Who are you?"

"I am Commander Spock, your first officer on board the starship enterprise."

Jim looks totally confused. The memories by now have completely faded and there is just Spock and Jim in total darkness.

"How are you here?"

"I have initiated a mind meld to pull you out of your memories."

"What do you mean?"

"You are not really 13 years old, you are 25 years old and you serve as the captain on board the enterprise. You survived Tarsus."

Jim becomes his adult self again and Spock ends the meld. Jim opens his eyes to find Spock sat on his haunches, pulling his hand away from Jim's face. The cell is once again empty except for the two of them. Kodos is gone.

"Spock, how? Where's Kodos?"

Spock stands up and then helps Jim to his feet.

"He has left for the moment but I estimate that there is a 89.96 percent chance that he will be back in the next half an hour. He stated that he wanted to see you when you are conscious."

"How is he here? He was supposed to have died years ago."

"I do not know Jim."

Jim flinches at the sound of his name, Spock notices and heads over to the door to determine if Kodos is on his way back. Jim sits down on the bed, with his head in his hands.

"Jim? What happened after you spoke to Kodos in your memory?"

Jim lifts his head.

"How much of that did you see?"

Spock looks like he wants to sit next to Jim, he even starts to move towards him but the look of fear on Jim's face has him moving back to the door.

"I saw enough Jim."

"I tried to escape but I was knocked out by that doctor, I was woken up by Starfleet officers the next day."

Spock goes to ask another question but he hears someone approaching.

"Move away from the door Commander, or my friends will have to make you."

Spock moves into the middle of the room, to stand as a barrier in between the door and Jim. The two officers hear the door being unlocked and then Kodos walks in, again he is flanked by two of those bug creatures. They move towards Jim, Spock steps in their way. So they grab Spock instead and drag him away to the door. Kodos doesn't even look at Spock he just brushes past and walks towards Jim, Jim starts to panic but this time he manages to keep under control at least until Kodos grabs him, Jim begins to struggle; to use his self-defence classes but Kodos has come prepared and injects Jim with a hypo-spray. Just before every thing goes black he can hear Spock's growl.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Will never own.

A/N: Please read and review, the more reviews you write the quicker I type. It gives me inspiration to write the next chapters.

Chapter 13

Jim awakens to someone dabbing at his forehead with a damp cloth. Jim flinches away scared.

"It's OK T'hy'la, Kodos is not here."

"Wha... what happened?"

Jim's tongue feels numb and he has a sore throat, slowly Jim opens his eyes before slamming them shut as a migraine makes itself known.

"Kodos gave you a sedative, which you are allergic to, fortuitously Kodos had kept your allergy kit and I was able to save you, Kodos has left us alone for now."

"What does he want?"

"To make you suffer, he believes that everything that happened to him is your fault. He is quite insane. He also does not believe that we saved Earth, he doesn't believe that a half-breed like me is capable of anything."

Jim can hear the sarcasm plain in Spock's voice, it almost makes him smile and that scares him. How can he smile at something his rapist said. Jim feels Spock pull away and realises that Spock heard his thoughts.

"Jim... I know I have apologised before, but I truly am sorry. I promise you that I wont hurt you ever again. I swear to you, my T'hy'la I wont hurt you."

Jim rolls onto his side away from Spock. Spock watches him with pain in his eyes, the pain of losing his T'hy'la's trust weighing heavily on his human heart. Spock continues to check on Jim regardless of how he feels. While he is checking on Jim, Spock begins to plot an escape. They have to wait 6.35 hours before the enterprise starts searching for them and he doesn't know how long they will have to hide before they are found, the worse case scenario is that Kodos has plans for if they try and escape. They just have to survive until then. Spock knows that Kodos wont stay away for long, his desire to punish Jim for his own actions is too strong for the insane man to resist. He just hopes that he is able to protect Jim, because if anything ever happened to his T'hy'la it would kill him. Spock did think about willing himself to death after his Pon-Farr; when he realised just how badly he hurt Jim, but he couldn't. Even though their bond is blocked, he knows that his death will cause the bond to break and Jim would feel it and would not survive the pain. Spock pauses in his thoughts before they become too maudlin, he cant change what has happened, he can only change the future.

He notices that Jim is still giving off pheromones that call to his Vulcan blood, which demands that he claim his T'hy'la for himself, to own this beautiful creature, to love this man. Spock has to continually chant Vulcan mantras through his mind to stop himself from taking Jim again.

Spock continues to administer hypo's to Jim to ease the pain he can feel through his touch telepathy, he cant feel anything through the bond. Spock hears Kodos approaching, he can make out the man's footsteps, it sounds like he has brought his bodyguards again, not that either of the two star-fleet officers are of any danger to him at the moment; what with Jim still suffering from the effects of the allergic reaction and Spock's own body trying to fight the drug he was administered with to dampen his strength. Spock estimates that he has 43.2% of his strength and stamina available to him which is enough to take out Kodos but not his bodyguards whose strength is equal to that of a healthy Vulcan.

Jim has fallen into a light sleep and Spock doesn't want to wake him knowing that Jim needs rest. Kodos walks through the door and decision made Spock gently wakes Jim.

"Jim, Kodos is here." He whispers.

Kodos smiles amiably and steps forward.

"Commander Spock, you can step aside now. Your job is done. He wont be needing you to tend to him any more."

Spock reluctantly stands and moves away from Jim, Jim sits up, he glares at Kodos.

"What are you going to do with us?"

"I want to make you suffer, and I want your half-breed friend to watch."

"He has never been and never will be my friend."

That statement cuts Spock to the core knowing that those words are the opposite to what his counterpart had said to Jim when they had first met. Spock struggles with his control for a minute to stop himself from showing evidence of his pain.

Again Kodos smiles, this time it is almost predatory. He makes a hand signal to the bug like creatures and they move forward as one to restrain Spock, which allows Kodos to walk over to Jim unhindered. Kodos reaches out a hand and strokes Jim's cheek. Jim flinches away.

"You know it s a shame that the two of you aren't friends but it doesn't matter he is still your first officer and it is his job to protect you."

He leers at Jim and then turns his gaze to Spock.

"And you have failed at that haven't you, first when you raped him and now when I am going to know the pleasures of his flesh."

Kodos turns back to Jim and looks quite happy at the shock and fear that flits across Jim's face.

"How did you know that?"

"I have someone on board your ship who tells me all these things, about how you have been suffering these last few months, how you've lost some weight, though I don't see it myself, it looks to me like you've actually gained some weight. You have certainly grown into a handsome man, not that you weren't handsome on tarsus but I have standards and a skinny 13 year old child does not measure up. On the other hand a well built starship captain does."

Jim stands up to try and fight, Kodos just pushes him back onto the bed. He looks over at Spock.

"How does he sound when he screams?"

Spock growls at Kodos and tries to get free but the bugs just hold him back.

"My my you have a temper. You know it will get you into trouble one day, like say today."

Kodos makes another hand signal at the bugs and they start to drag Spock away.

"Dispose of him once you are done, I've decided I don't want an audience for this."

Kodos rips at Jim's clothes tearing the fragile fabric away baring Jim's chest, Kodos uses the shirts material to tie Jim's hands behind his back. Jim struggles to get free, panic courses through him. /_Not again, please god not again/_.

"I'm gonna kill you Kodos. If you do this I will kill you."

Kodos ignores Jim's outburst and continues to remove Jim's clothes. Again Jim tries to struggle and get free but his arms are bound to tightly and Kodos removes Jim's trousers and boots. He is about to remove Jim's underwear when suddenly Spock breaks through the door.

Spock sees that Kodos has not yet managed to violate his T'hy'la, he feels some relief before the rage consumes him. Spock grabs Kodos and throws him against the wall and away from Jim, Spock snarls when Kodos gets back up to fight. Spock takes a fighting stance and waits for Kodos to make his move. He doesn't have to wait long, Kodos pulls out a dagger from its sheath which was hidden under his shirt, Kodos runs at Spock who swiftly moves to the side and away from danger, then he disarms Kodos by ripping his arm off. The room is filled with the scent of blood and that sends Spock into even more of a frenzy, the next few minutes whir past Spock and he has little knowledge of what he has done. Spock finally comes to his senses top find that Kodos is no longer in one piece, there are severed limb strewn through out the room, and there is blood everywhere. Jim is curled up in a corner absolutely terrified, Spock goes to him. Jim tries to get away from Spock but Spock is too fast, Spock pulls Jim into his arms and holds him tight then Spock retrieves Jim's clothes and helps him redress. Then Spock picks Jim up and carries him away from the cell.

Jim is in total shock; he cant believe what he has just seen. Spock didn't even hesitate and Jim is sure that at one point he saw Spock smiling as he methodically and systematically tore Kodos limb from limb. It's all Jim can do to hold onto Spock afraid that he'll drop him as Spock runs through the compound that they were in.

"T'hy'la, do not worry, I would not drop you."

Spock's voice is rough and ragged with the remnants of the rage that had consumed him. Jim cannot make eye contact with him, which still hurts his feelings and with Jim in his arms he is finding it increasingly difficult to not throw Jim to the ground and claim him again and again. He notices that Jim's pheromones are increasing in potency. Spock raises his shields to stop unintentionally reading Jim's mind and picks up his speed.

"Where are we going?"

"Away from here. I estimate that the Enterprise will start looking for us in approximately 6.04 hours, I am unsure how long the sensors will take to find us as they never saw this compound. I believe that there is either a forcefield around this compound and if we get from out the range the enterprise will find us much more quickly or there is some component in the rocks around here that naturally disperse the scanners senses. When I was removed from the room I noticed a mountain range in the distance, I should be able to get the both of us to them in less than an hour. We can stay there until the enterprise finds us."

The two men travel on in silence for the next hour until they reach the mountains, fortunately they are not spotted by any of the local inhabitants. Spock puts Jim behind a boulder.

"Stay here T'hy'la, I will make sure that we have somewhere safe for us to stay until we are rescued."

Making sure that Jim cannot be seen by anyone other then himself Spock leaves to explore one of the caves near the base of the mountain they were closest to. Spock finds that is a suitable place to stay with a small spring running through the cave, it also had an easily defensible entrance as it was quite small and unobtrusive, if it wasn't for his Vulcan sight he doubted that he would have spotted it. There didn't seem to have been any life in the cave recently but Spock double and tripled checked to make sure that nothing would hurt his T'hy'la. Satisfied with the cave Spock exits and heads back to Jim only to find him gone...


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I still don't own.

A/N: Again I shamelessly beg for reviews, they are my muse. Please enjoy.

Chapter 14

"Jim, T'hy'la where are you? Jim?"

Spock begins to panic, he desperately needs to meditate to control his emotions but without him knowing where Jim is it will once again prove to be impossible. Spock searches the base of the mountain, it doesn't take him long to find Jim as he hasn't gone far. Jim had collapsed about fifty metres from where Spock had left him, he was writhing in agony, clutching at his stomach.

"My baby, oh god my baby, I cant lose her, oh please. Lord help me."

"T'hy'la."

Spock runs to Jim, not caring if he is spotted, the only thought going through his mind is getting to Jim, nothing else in the universe matters. Spock reaches Jim in mere seconds.

"Jim."

Spock kneels down and reaches out to touch Jim but recoils due to the amount of pain radiating from him. Spock increases his shields and reaches out again, this time he is able to make contact. Spock cards his fingers through Jim's hair.

"Jim? Jim, what has happened?"

Jim gives no indication of hearing or feeling Spock.

"My baby, oh god. Please god don't take her from me, I need her, I love her. don't take her from me."

Worried for Jim, Spock initiates a mind-meld and is instantly sucked into Jim's mind. Jim's mind is almost totally dark, although he cannot see much, his mind preens at finding its way home causing Spock to feel both a tremendous amount of joy and pain. He is overwhelmed with the pain and has difficulty locating Jim's presence. It takes him a while but he finally finds him, he is curled up in a ball very much like he is in reality.

_/Jim, oh Jim, I am here to help you./_

Spock uses his telepathy to unblock their bond in order to send soothing thoughts and to block Jim's pain.

/_Jim can you here me?_/

/_Spock? What are you doing here?/_

Spock moves closer to Jim's consciousness and helps Jim to mentally stand.

/_Jim why did you leave?_/

/_Why do you think? You ripped a man apart with your bare hands./_

_/ Jim I would never hurt you, you are my T'hy'la, to hurt ones T'hy'la is impossible./_

_/ So explain how you managed to hurt me when you raped me? If you cant hurt your T'hy'la then you wouldn't have been able to do that. Did you ever think that maybe we aren't T'hy'la and you are just deluded?/_

A great tide of pain, sorrow, loneliness and guilt washes over Jim, he feels as though he is drowning in what he realises to be Spock's (not so carefully) hidden emotions. The barrage of emotions makes Jim feel sick, he never wanted to believe that Spock had emotions, it was easier to believe that Vulcan's had no emotions and therefore he could hate Spock quite easily, as Jim sorts through the emotions he finds so much more about Spock than he ever thought he would. Jim doesn't know what to think or what to feel.

/_I... I know we are T'hy'la because ours minds are so completely compatible. I never wanted to hurt you, I never want to see you in pain. Pon-farr is a curse on the Vulcan population, ever since Vulcan's... destruction, almost all the viable males have gone into Pon-Farr regardless of when their cycle is expected to re-occur. The actual Pon-Farr is also a stronger and more drawn out process as the species attempts to survive and repopulate, this means that where before Vulcan... Pon-Farr was bound by the bonds between mates making it impossible to hurt your mate, it also allowed more rest between the bouts, however there have been cases recently where the male has hurt the female to force them to submit. This has thrown a true symbiotic relationship into chaos as the females will become more wary and suspicious, but this means that the pregnancy is likely to last full term as the females will stay away from the other males in order to protect themselves from going through the ordeal again and to protect their unborn children from being killed by desperate males. The fathers of the unborn children will become even more possessive and territorial whilst the female is pregnant as they too will try to protect the child by attacking the other males./_

_/So why attack me? I'm not female./_

_/No you are not but you have the ability to get pregnant, if you kept the implanted uterus./_

Spock cocks his head thinking on what Jim had been babbling on about and the new pheromones, it all make sense to him now.

_/You are pregnant are you not? That is why your pheromones have changed, why they call to me. You are having my child./_

Jim moves away from Spock, still feeling scared of having him so close to him, and he changes the subject.

_/Why am I no longer in pain?/_

_/I have unblocked our bond so that I could use my mental abilities to help you./_

_/What? Block the damn bond I don't want to be able to feel you, or hear your thoughts and I definitely don't want you to feel my feelings or hear my thoughts, so block the bond./_

A huge amount of sadness and pain floods Jim's senses.

_/ I cannot Jim, if I block the bond now the pain could cause you to miscarry your child. You have stated that you did not want to lose her repeatedly, I do not wish for you to lose her either./_

_/Fine but I want it blocked when we are back on the enterprise./_

Jim feels Spock's relief at not having to block the bond again.

_/Jim, how did you find out you were pregnant?/_

_/ I didn't, McCoy did./_

Again Jim felt Spock's emotions but this time they were different, Spock was feeling possessive and angry.

_/Don't you dare start feeling possessive over me, you have no right to be. Cant you at least shield your emotions, so that I don't have to feel them./_

_/I am sorry Jim, I cannot at the moment, I have been unable to meditate recently and so my mind is disordered that my emotions run freely. I will pull us out of the meld so that you wont feel them as strongly./_

Jim nods and Spock breaks the meld. Jim immediately pulls away from Spock, Spock stands up and checks the area to make sure that they have not yet been spotted, he relaxes minutely when he realises that they haven't. Spock looks back at Jim who is attempting and failing to stand on his own, so Spock goes to him. He picks Jim up easily and carries him back to the cave, it is a short but difficult walk because Jim is struggling to get free.

"Jim, please desist from trying to escape, I will not harm you. You were obviously struggling to stand on your own and we need to hurry in case the inhabitants come looking for us, so for expediency I will carry you inside."

"I'm not fragile I can walk on my own."

"Jim you are dehydrated, hungry and pregnant, so please calm yourself."

Jim stops struggling and Spock tightens his grip slightly and carries on walking.

"Jim?"

"What Spock?"

Jim sounds testy and wont make eye contact with Spock.

"It does not matter."

"Tell me what you were going to ask."

"It does not matter." _Jim would you ever be able to trust me again?_

"No I don't think I will."

Even though he had known that Jim would never trust him, it still caused him pain to hear it out loud. It takes him a moment to then realise he had not asked the question out loud.

"I did not say anything Jim."

"I know, Spock you unblocked our bond and you're not shielding."

"Indeed."

"Are you all right Spock?"

"You are concerned for me?"

"You forgot that you unblocked the bond. Why? How would you forget that?"

"As I have previously stated, I am in need of meditating. Until I successfully meditate my mind will continue to be in chaos."

Spock carries Jim into the cave and gently places Jim down on the floor. He moves around the cave looking for something he could use for bedding. He finds some heather like plants and takes a small sample and heads back over to Jim.

"Jim, I need your hand in order to see if you are allergic to this material."

Jim holds out his hand and Spock gently rubs the plant against the back of it. He waits five minutes and when there is no reaction he decides to use the plant as he has deemed it safe. Spock grabs quite a lot of the plant and works on making a bed for Jim, he works for about an hour, stopping every so often to check on Jim, when he feels that the bed is finished he goes back over to Jim and gently carries him to the bed.

"I will meditate for a while, please try and sleep Jim. I will go back to the settlement after meditating and find our equipment and any supplies that I can see. Please do not drink any of the water until after I am able to determine if it is safe. I do not wish to come back and find you have had an allergic reaction or that the water is poisonous."

Jim just gives him a hard look, rolls over and tries to go to sleep.

Spock sits down at the mouth of the cave and attempts to meditate, he keeps part of his mind focused on their surroundings and the rest dedicated to finding some sort of inner peace, he is not expecting to be able to mediate as he has not been successful since his Pon-Farr had begun so he is surprised when he succeeds. He sinks down into a level he hasn't reached from before Vulcan's destruction and realises that it is because his mind is able to be so close to Jim's without a barrier in the way. Spock is able to catalogue and control his emotions for the first time in months and he feels relieved, his mind no longer feels like it is attacking it self and he achieves a peaceful state that he is doubtful a full Vulcan would be able to achieve unless they had seen a mind healer. He meditates on the last few weeks and decides that by staying away from Jim he has not allowed Jim to get over what has happened between them nor has he been able to show how remorseful he is. He decides that the best thing he can do for Jim is to show in a meld what he felt during his Pon-Farr and how although at times he seemed quite lucid and in control he never actually was. The fever and his instincts had complete control. After five point six-seven hours meditating,

Spock pulls out of the trance and gets to his feet, he quickly checks on Jim before heading to the entrance of the cave where he covers the mouth with branches and leaves and effectively camouflages the entrance. He then slowly and carefully makes his way back to the compound, there are a few close calls when he has almost been spotted but thankfully he gets al the way to the building where he and Jim had been kept prisoner. He knows that the enterprise is looking for them now but if it is the rocks that are blocking the signal it could take days to find them. Spock systematically checks the rooms in the building until he finds what is obviously Kodos' storeroom. He finds plenty of tinned food and bottle water and their equipment, he even finds some old style equipment like lighters and can openers which where stored there, he checks the lighters and finds that they still contain fuel and so he decides to keep them as they will free up their phasers to be just for defence and so will save the batteries. Spock collects together all the items and then starts hunting for a bag to contain it all, he cant find one in the store room but is fortunately able to find one in the next room. He packs in all the items and throws the bag over his shoulder and once more is able to exit the compound without being spotted. He heads straight back to Jim and finds him still asleep, although it looks like Jim is having bad dreams, this means that it is the rocks on this planet that are dispersing the scanners and so they will have to wait for the enterprise to cut through the disturbance. Spock puts the bag down in one of the corners and heads over to Jim, he tries to rouse him from his sleep but to no avail and so he attempts another mind meld and is instantly back in Jim's mind.


	15. Chapter 15

No Other Choice

A/N: I know Spock doesn't sound right at the moment but it is all done with a reason. This is just a short chapter to lead us on into the next few chapters. There may be some light at the end of the tunnel for Spock but it is highly unlikely.

Chapter 15

_Spock once again is in inside Jim's mind but whereas before he had to search for Jim this time he finds him immediately. Spock recognises that the nightmare is real and not a figment of Jim's imagination, he knows this because he has memories of the same thing; Jim is dreaming about Spock's Pon-Farr. Spock watches as he repeatedly rapes Jim, destroying Jim's trust and faith in him. He can feel how Jim felt at the time, he can feel how scared and ashamed Jim felt and still feels about what had happened, he finds Jim also watching the scene unfold, he looks up terrified when Spock approaches him. _

"_Stay away from me, why cant you just leave me alone? Why do you keep coming after me?"_

_Spock stops moving towards him, giving Jim some space._

"_Jim. I am so sorry. I cannot stay away, I have tried. I truly am sorry."_

"_I know you are Spock, I've felt it when we melded but that doesn't change what you did."_

"_Jim I was never in control of my actions, not even when I seemed to be the most lucid. You have to believe me T'hy'la."_

_To prove his point Spock shows Jim his memories of his Pon-Farr and how he felt. The pain of hurting his T'hy'la was overwhelming as was the fear and shame of this most private problem which had made him lose his control. _

"_Jim I never wanted to hurt you, I will never want to hurt you. You are my universe, my everything. Tell me what it is I can do to show you that I am truly sorry, that I never wanted that to happen. If I had known you were my T'hy'la before my Pon-Farr I would have had time to explain it all to you, and if you had still decided that you did not wish to be with me then I would have left the ship."_

"_Why didn't you leave the ship afterwards? Why did you get your father to use his diplomatic immunity to prevent your prosecution?"_

"_I stayed Jim because I needed you... you needed me as well you just did not know it. If I had left it would have created more problems than it would have solved. T'hy'la pairings can not be separated for extended amounts of time, it would cause sickness and pain. As for my father he was the one who decided to use his discretion and protected me, I never asked him to."_

"_I don't know what to do any more Spock. What am I supposed to do with this information?"_

"_Forgive me... forgive me and allow us to be together, allow us to be a family. I need you T'hy'la. I need you to forgive me..."_

Spock hears that in the real world they have been found and so with great reluctance he pulls out of the meld and comes face to face with two big bug- like creatures.

"Stay calm T'hy'la, I will protect you."

Jim stays in the corner and tries to make himself look as small and non-threatening as he possibly can whilst Spock does the opposite. The two bug-like creatures barely even notice Spock and head straight for Jim; confusing both star-fleet officers. Both men watch transfixed as one of the bugs begins to change ever so slightly, in the middle of its thorax a pincer like arm appears and shoots out at Jim, Spock moves inhumanly fast as he puts himself between his mate and unborn child and this vicious creature. Even with his increased speed he barely manages to get there in time and Jim watches horrified as the arm goes straight into Spock's stomach just above where Spock's heart is. Spock doesn't even flinch, he just stays standing and unleashes the pre-reformed Vulcan hidden just beneath the surface. The fight lasts only a few minutes as he rips apart the two creatures, orange blood pours from their many wounds, the bugs don't even get a chance to attack, Spock moves too fast for them to see. Spock stands victorious for a second before turning to Jim and collapsing. Green blood flows from Spock and starts to mix with the orange blood already pooling and turns a disturbing brown. Spock's eyes start to shutter close as he watches Jim approach, he holds out his hand and is overjoyed when Jim takes it.

"T'hy'la. Taluhk nash-veh k'dular. I cherish thee."

Spock's eyes close and he knows no more.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

A/N: Bonus Chapter! Slightly longer chapter to balance out the shortness of the previous one. Please enjoy and then review. I love reviews they put such a large smile on my face.

Jim reaches Spock just as the latter begins to all unconscious, he panics slightly when he cant feel a pulse but then realises that it is going to fast for him to register each individual heartbeat. Jim goes over to the bag Spock brought back from the compound, he searches through it thoroughly but he cant find anything to use to stem the bleeding so he removes both of his shirts; he rips one in half and uses it as padding while using the other to tie around Spock's waist keeping the padding tightly in place. He is relieved when the blood flow seems to slow down, he checks on Spock's pulse and finds that he could now count the individual beats if he was so inclined. Jim goes back to searching through the bag and finds a few useful things including a phaser which he attaches to his hip and then takes Spock's science tricorder out of the bag and and uses it to check on Spock. It only gives him rudimentary information as it is not designed for this use. Jim then uses it to check on the stream to judge whether it is safe to use the water rather than using up the bottled water as he didn't know how long it would take for them to be rescued, apart from some minor bacteria found (which is easily boiled away) Jim cannot find anything that could be dangerous to humanoids. He then exits the cave and goes hunting for some dry wood to use to start a fire. He finds a small woodland area not far from where they are camped and looks for some kindling. He is in luck as he finds an abundance of materials he can use. He starts to head back to the cave making sure that there is no one who can see him. He stops at the cave entrance and uses some of the living bushes that surround the area to cove the hole so the entrance looks even more innocuous.

When he re-enters the cave he sees that Spock has not moved nor has he reawakened, he quickly checks to make sure that he is still breathing and once certain that Spock is still in the land of the living he sets to work on starting a smokeless fire. He sets the fire near to Spock so that his first officer can absorb the heat, it will also give him some light to work with. He then collects some water and starts to boil it. He then soaks the second half of his shirt and uses it to clean off the excess blood from Spock's wound then he re-soaks it and uses it to wipe Spock's brow as he sees him becoming feverish. Jim wishes fervently that the Enterprise finds him soon as he knows he cannot defend the three of them and he seriously needs to get Bones to check on his baby. While he works he thinks about all the things that have happened so recently and how it has been obvious that he is not the only one suffering and so Jim makes the decision to allow Spock to go back to his previous shifts on the bridge. He is sure that he could never be friends with Spock let alone anything more however he was also sure that he would never be able to forgive Spock for what he has done but that is what he has been doing for the last few days especially when he saw Spock's memories of Pon-Farr. He doesn't have to deal with being anything more than professional with Spock at the moment though which he is grateful for. Maybe in time he will be able to trust Spock enough to be alone with him when they are not in danger as he does not know whether Spock will go through the same thing again. He also thinks about Elder Spock and how he has treated the old man and realises that the two Spock's are completely different and shouldn't punish one because of the other. He decides that the first thing he will do when he gets back on the ship (after seeing bones obviously) is to send him a message and an apology for his actions.

Jim checks on Spock regularly before finally deciding to try and get some shut-eye as he needs to be well rested to look after them both, he will also have think about hunting some food because they only have emergency rations for a few days. He wont be able to actually hunt any meat as Spock is a vegetarian and because his child is part Vulcan he cannot digest it at the moment so it will actually be more of a scavenge hunt, he will have to make sure that he uses the tricorder to search for edible things and then imbibe a small amount to make sure he isn't allergic. With a plan set in motion and using his learnt skills from tarsus he eventually manages to fall into a light sleep. Deep enough to rest but light enough to wake up if something goes wrong or if someone approaches.

Jim is able to sleep for about six hours before he awakened by heavy breathing, cautiously he looks around the cave and finds Spock is awake. Jim carefully gets up as he feels a twinge of pain coming from his abdomen and moves over to Spock. Spock's eyes never once leave Jim as he walks over, it slightly creeps Jim out but he ignores it.

"How are you feeling? Are you al-right?"

Jim slaps his hand to his head.

"Duh of course you are not. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Spock seems to ignore his second statement and question. His eyes seem slightly glazed and dilated.

"I am... I am in pain but I can control it. I require some water... I am thirsty."

Jim nods and grabs a bottle of water from the bag he gives it a quick check with the tricorder to check if there was any poison in it; Jim doubted it as he didn't think that Kodos would poison himself but he couldn't be sure that he may have planned for any eventuality including the one with Jim and Spock escaping and taking the water with them after all this was the man who caused the biggest genocide in living memory and managed to escape. He was right that there was nothing in the water and he hands the bottle over to Spock, then he realises that Spock wont be able to drink it by himself and so Jim takes it back and then helps Spock by raising his head slightly and holding the bottle to his lips. Spock drinks a few mouthfuls but then stops.

"You should drink too T'hy'la. You need to keep hydrated."

"I'm fine, you're the one who is injured."

"You are injured too T'hy'la, I have taken most of your pain but you are still injured."

"Do you know what is wrong? Is it the baby, is something wrong with my baby?"

Spock allows a small genuine smile to cross his lips.

"There is nothing wrong with our child, you do however have an inflamed appendix, it will be need to be removed soon before it ruptures as it will harm both of you. Do not worry we will be found before then."

"I thought hope was illogical."

Spock's voice begins to quieten and his eyes start to droop.

"I believed so too until I met you. I will rest now."

And with that Spock falls asleep once again leaving Jim alone with his thoughts. Jim eats one of the ration bars and boils some water to take a wash once done he lies back down on the bedding and closes his eyes before drifting back off to sleep.

He is not asleep long when he is awoken by voices, two of them sounding very familiar.

"Are you sure they are around here because if I have to beam to another location again, I'll make sure you fail your physical."

"I'm sure doctor the scanners definitely show that there are two lifeforms in that rock face and that one is human and the other is half-Vulcan."

The voices get closer, Jim stays still because he is worried it is a trap, he also un-holsters his weapon.

"I think I've found something it looks to be a cave entrance."

Jim watches as some branches are moved from the entrance and the head of his chief engineer pops his head through the entrance.

"I've found them, they're here."

McCoy is the first to enter the cave and he immediately rushes over to Jim. He pulls out his tricorder and takes a quick scan. He frowns when he sees the results. Then he puts away the tricorder.

"Are you al-right kiddo?"

Jim looks over at Spock.

"He needs your help first."

McCoy turns and looks at Spock and is shocked by what he sees. He moves closer to him and then removes his medical tricorder and starts taking readings. Scotty has also entered the cave and he hands Jim a transport beacon before taking out his communicator. Jim sets up the beacon and Scotty turns and looks at McCoy.

"Are they OK to beam up?"

"Yeah, they'll be fine to travel.. but the sooner we get to the ship the better. Spock's lost a lot of blood and Jim is getting weaker."

McCoy points his tricorder again at Jim before answering, he doesn't like what he sees. He squeezes Jim's shoulder and looks at Scotty.

"They'll both be needing surgery immediately."

Scotty opens his communicator and starts speaking to the enterprise.

"Scotty to Enterprise, come in Enterprise."

"Enterprise here Sir."

"We've found them, lock onto the transport beacon and get ready to beam us up, have two medical teams waiting us."

"Confirmed sir. They're on the way."

"Excellent. Energise."

The four men are beamed up to the ship where a flurry of activity is taking place, both Spock and Jim are whisked off to sickbay where they are separated and taken into two different operating theatres, McCoy stays with Jim the whole time and M'Benga goes with Spock. Jim's is a simple procedure and it takes less than an hour for his appendix to be removed. There are no complications from the surgery although McCoy was worried about the baby at couple of times. Spock's surgery on the other hand was one complication after another, he lost a lot of blood down on the planet and was losing even more on the operating table, when they were removing the pincer M'Benga accidentally nicked a artery, causing Spock's heart to stop. M'Benga tried several times to get Spock's heart to beat again, he was still trying when he heard sirens from the next room going off.

Jim was just coming out from under the anaesthetic when he felt the most painful jolt go across his mind and he knew in that instance that Spock had died. Jim's mind couldn't take the pain and it began to shut down all functions including his autonomous functions such as breathing and his heart beating. The sirens on his bio-bed began to blare but they sounded distant to Jim and they were getting quieter and further away. Before Jim knew it he was being surrounded by black.

McCoy entered the room straight away, he couldn't understand why this was happening there was nothing physically wrong with Jim. McCoy began to panic as he watched his best friend slip away.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

A/N: Double Bonus Chapter! Enjoy and pretty please with a cherry on top with lots and lots of whipped cream review. Tell me what you like, hell tell me what you don't like, reviews improve my writing.

_Spock knows he is dying, looking around he can see only blackness but then he sees a faint light as though it is coming from a distance. Spock moves towards the light he is transfixed by it's beauty as he moves closer he can see more details and he realises that it is not a light but a person, the only person to ever love Spock unconditionally; it is his mother. He moves even faster to try to get to her but no matter how fast he runs she always seems so far away. Spock stops running, tears streaming down his face as he holds out his hand to her._

"_Please" He begs. "Please stay with me."_

"_Spock, always know that what ever you choose to do you will have a proud mother."_

"_I never told you I love you."_

"_Spock you never had to, I always knew. I knew because you went down onto a dying planet to save me. I knew because of the way you acted around me the things you thought were illogical but did them anyway. The words have no meaning, it is your actions that tell the truth. Be at peace my son, grieve for me but do not allow it to consume you. You have the best of both worlds, the ability to feel emotions and to control them rather than suppressing them like the other Vulcan's. Allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to love, to this would be to truly honour my memory. Go back to your world my son or your T'hy'la will follow you into the afterlife."_

"_I do not wish to leave you alone ."_

_Amanda laughs her wonderful laugh which lights up Spock's soul, it is a sound he had thought that he would never again hear. _

"_Spock as long as I am in your heart, I will never be alone. Be at peace my son. Go to your T'hy'la before it is too late."_

With that the ghostly projection of his mother faded away and Spock's heart began to beat again.

He comes around to a lot of commotion, there are nurses milling around everywhere, and there are sirens going off in another room. When she sees that he is awake nurse Chapel heads over to him.

"Commander you are awake."

"Jim? where is my T'hy'la? Where is he?"

Nurse Chapel looks away, she cant met his eyes.

"They are doing all they can for him, but it doesn't look good, they don't know what is wrong with him because the surgery went without a hitch."

"Take me to him."

"I don't..."

"NOW!"

Everyone in sickbay looks over at them, shocked to hear the commander shouting. Nurse Chapel doesn't hesitate and fetches Spock a wheelchair for him to use. Spock sits in the chair and Chapel leads him into Jim's private room, the room with all the siren's blaring.

"What the hell get him out of here, what do you think you're doing?"

"Doctor, I am the only one who can help him. He is suffering from a damaged bond and I must initiate a mind meld in order to help him."

McCoy looks at Spock disbelieving. Spock notices and snarls.

"You would rather my T'hy'la died than believe me?

McCoy looks at M'Benga for support. M'Benga is careful not to touch Jim any more than he absolutely has to.

"M'Benga what do you think?"

"I believe that we re out of options neither the drugs or the CPR are working."

"Fine you hob-goblin, but as soon as he's awake you're out of here."

Again Spock snarls, but then he moves himself over to Jim and his eyes soften as he looks upon the face of his mate, of the one who he has given his heart to. Spock gently places his fingers to Jim's psi points and initiates a mind meld. He is instantly taken to Jim's inner core and watches horrified as Jim approaches the entrance to the afterlife, he can feel Jim's pain and sends waves of soothing energy to his mate, this startles Jim and he turns around. He sees that Spock is in his mind.

"How are you here? I felt you die."

"I... it does not matter how I am here. I am not dead and you must not go into the light, it is not your time. Come back with me T'hy'la."

Spock holds out his hand to Jim and is relieved when Jim takes it and then he leads them both back into consciousness. McCoy looks really relieved, he puts one hand on Jim's shoulder but pulls it back when Spock growls.

"Bones?"

"Jim I'm here kiddo. You gave us quite a scare." Turning to Spock McCoy graces him with his friendliest scowl. "Thanks for saving him but if you ever growl at me for touching him again I'll remove your pointy ears."

Jim smiles slightly.

"So when can I get out of here?"

"Christ kid you almost died, in fact there's no almost about it and you're wondering when you can get out of here. I'm a doctor not a miracle worker. You've got to stay a few days and then I'll release you to our quarters for a few more days."

"Whys it got to be that long?"

"Jim you know exactly why I need to keep you here that long and unless you want everyone to know, I suggest you get some sleep. Rest dammit and allow me to go back to my real patients. Idiot kid."

Jim smiles again this time much brighter and McCoy allows a hint of a smile to show on his face in return. Chapel pushes Spock's chair back into his room and helps him get back into bed.

"Do you know when I will be discharged from sickbay?"

"I'm not sure commander, you'll have to ask M'Benga. I'll go get if you want me to."

"Thank you nurse, that would be much appreciated."

Chapel leaves and Spock makes himself more comfortable, he thinks about his mother, he is gratified that he got to see her one last time. Even if she was a figment of his suppressed imagination he is still glad to have seen her. M'Benga had entered the room whilst he had been thinking of his mother, he was not surprised that M'Benga had not announced himself as he knew that he had studied for quite a while on Vulcan before it's destruction and so was used to dealing with injured Vulcan's who are a lot less focused and are easily distracted. Upon seeing that his entrance had been noticed, M'Benga steps forward

"You wished to know how long you will have to stay here?"

Spock nods curtly.

"You may leave when your trance has finished."

Spock looks up surprised. He had not expected that even if M'Benga had worked with other Vulcan's, as human doctors (in his opinion) had the bad habit of keeping people in bed for far too long. Spock closes his eyes and allows himself to fall into a deep trance and his body starts to heal itself and replace the lost blood.

Meanwhile in Jim's room McCoy is sitting next to Jim listening to everything that happened. McCoy for once keeps his opinions to himself and just holds him as Jim finally breaks down and sobs in is arms. Jim tells McCoy everything, he even tells him about the nightmares he as been having and then he tells him how protective Spock was, how he threw himself in danger. McCoy kept listening as Jim told McCoy everything and he held on even after Jim had sobbed himself to sleep. McCoy gives Jim a minor sedative as it will help Jim sleep and it will stop any nightmares. McCoy lies down next to Jim, places a gentle kiss to his forehead and pulls him into his arms.

"Goodnight kiddo, pleasant dreams."

And then he too drifts off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

A/N: This is a two parter, we will see things from Jim's side in this part and Spock's in the next as they recover. Four chapters in one week. It's official I have no life. Please read and review.

Jim wakes to the sounds of someone softly snoring behind him, he knows straight away that it is bones, that man truly cares for him. Jim has never had someone who cared so much about him before. Jim is so grateful for bones, he doesn't know what he would have done if he hadnt been able to lean on him. He smiles when bones moves closer, everyone'll probably think that they're have sex together but nothing could be further from the truth, bones loves him like a son and Jim thinks of him as the dad he never had. Bones'll probably spend every night that Jim spends in sickbay sleeping right next to him, acting like a protective forcefield and Jim couldn't feel happier, he enjoyed cuddling but none of his previous partners were ever interested in it. Relaxed and feeling happier than he has in a while he drifts back off to sleep.

He is proven right over his assumption that McCoy will spend every night next him as that is precisely what happened, he's released the day before Spock is and he's happy to once again be able to move around his ship even if it is only for a few hours a day. McCoy has run a few tests on the baby and she seems to be growing well which Jim is eternally grateful for, he doesn't know how he would cope with losing her, but McCoy keeps telling him that he should know that there is a chance that he could lose her especially within the next few months. So he's gonna have to talk to command about his little stowaway, he'll tell Chris first although he's not his immediate supervisor because he knows Chris'll be devastated if he has to find out through a third person which is why the day he is let out of confinement he finds himself in front of his comm unit waiting to be patched through to Admiral Pike's office. He doesn't have to wait long.

"Hey Jim, how's things going?"

"Yeah you know, things are fine, did you get a copy of my last mission report?"

"I did, to be honest if it had been anyone other than you I would probably not believe it. How are you coping?"

"I'm fine honestly, look the reason I called is because I wanted to you hear it from me first..."

"What is it Jim? Just spit it out, what ever it is it cant be that bad."

"Actually I think it's quite good but I know command aren't going to like it."

Chris just stares at Jim waiting for whatever bombshell is going to drop.

"The thing is I'm kinda, sorta pregnant."

Chris blinks a few times, and opens his mouth to say something but then nothing comes out, now Chris has never been a man of many words but he has never been speechless. Until now that is.

"Pregnant? How? When? What? OK start from the beginning and work your way forward."

"Um OK, so you know I was on Tarsus..." Jim waits for Chris' nod before continuing. "Well... how much do you know? About what happened I mean?"

"Well I know about the famine, the genocide and the genetic experiments."

"So you know pretty much everything then."

Chris just shrugs his shoulders, he looks at Jim expectantly waiting impatiently for him to continue. Jim takes a deep breath.

"I was one of those he experimented on, he gave me a fully functioning ovary and uterus, which means that I can get pregnant naturally with no other medical intervention necessary, I did think quite hard about keeping it but by the time I had made up my mind about getting rid of it, it had already become too interconnected with my other organs and I would require a lot more surgery to remove it and to be honest I didn't want to stay any longer than I had to in a hospital so I kept it, I kinda thought that maybe if I didn't meet the right girl I could still have a child of my own when I was older, much older."

Chris looks at Jim with a mix of sympathy and admiration, Jim cant hold his gaze and looks away.

"Spock's the father."

"I figured that part out, I take it that you want to keep it?"

"Her, it's a girl,"

Jim smiles and looks back at Chris.

"And yeah I wanna keep her, it's not her fault what happened, I cant blame her."

"But she'll always be a reminder of what happened."

Jim puts his heads in his hands and sighs.

"I know but I want to keep her, I already have to deal with what happened everyday, the fact I'm still sharing quarters with bones kinda rubs it in."

"Does Spock know?"

"Yeah he does. He uh found out whilst we were planet side."

Chris gives him a sympathetic smile.

"How did he react?"

"The same way I'd expect him to usually act, indifferent. I don't know what I'll do after the birth, whether I'll stay on the ship or not, it's all up in the air at the moment. I cant plan long term because I don't know what I will be doing."

"Will you let Spock be a part of her life?"

Jim runs his hands through his hair and then starts rubbing the back of his neck.

"I don't know, if I don't his family will probably get involved and that T'Pau lady scares the crap out of me and his father has already proved he's willing to protect his son from the law once before so if I deny him access... I don't know I just don't know and then I got to balance that with wanting to protect my daughter and her seeing her whole heritage not just a part of it. I don't know what to do."

Jim sighs, he can feel tears building up and he absolutely refuses to go to pieces even if it is the damn hormones although they shouldn't be kicking yet, he thinks. _ Maybe I'll ask bones._

"Well the first thing you've got to do is calm down and then you've got to think about it long and hard, you don't have to make a decision right know in fact it would probably be better to wait. Look I've got to go kiddo I'm expecting a call from Komack so I'll break the news to him gently so he doesn't freak out at you but you better prepare yourself he'll probably call you soon. Oh and you might want to tell your senior crew so they can cover shifts and whatnot. I'll call you in a couple of days, just remember that what ever you decide you're not alone I've got your back and I suspect Dr McCoy does to. So don't worry OK kiddo. We'll be here for you when you need us."

Jim just nods too overwhelmed to speak, Chris gives him a quick smile and then the screen goes blank. Jim arranges the meeting with his staff for his first day back on duty, feeling like he shouldn't leave it off any longer then that. He wonders whether he should tell Uhura separately and decides that it is the gentlemanly thing to do so he checks the rota and sees that today is her day off so he comms her. She is as always quick to pick up the call and Jim braces himself for one of the most nerve wracking conversations of his life after all how do you tell someone that their ex fathered a child whilst they were technically still with them. Fortunately the call doesn't last long and Uhura seems to be dealing with the news quite well. She promises that she will not tell anyone but that she will still be there at the meeting and she'll support him all the way. Jim feels so relieved, he wonders what he did to have such good friends, it only seemed like yesterday that they were bitching and fight with one another, he's just glad that they've got passed what ever it was and are now good friends.

Jim gets ready for bed even though it is only 1930 hours because his little passenger seems to be sucking all the energy out of him at the moment. Jim is just about to get into bed when the buzzer goes off, Jim opens the door to find Spock looking nervous and scared. Spock pushes Jim up against the wall before kissing him breathlessly.

"Jim, T'hy'la I need you."

TBC

A/N: Uh-oh what's happened now? Please read and review. P.S I am looking for some girls names, if you guys have any good ones you want me to use let me know, I may use one of my own but only if I get a flash of brilliance.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Spock was successful at entering a trance and was fully healed less than two days after being beamed back on board, he vividly remembered Jim taking care of him, even when he was unconscious, due to his telepathy. He could remember every time that his T'hy'la had touched him and it sent thrills of pleasure down his spine at their memory. He was due to be discharged in the morning at McCoy's order even though it was M'Benga who was in charge of his medical needs. He supposed he pulled rank so that Jim would be able to spend the night without having to worry about Spock being near him.

Spock knew exactly what Jim was feeling as he had started the process of re-blocking the bond however because he was not a mind healer he was not able to block it all the way. They would have to go to New Vulcan before it can be fully blocked again.

It was bitter sweet to have his T'hy'la's emotions in his mind although he had taken great care to shield his own feelings from Jim, Ever since he has been bonded to Jim he has felt more than he has ever felt before in his life put together, he still has as much conflict inside as the day his Pon-Farr destroyed any hope for the future, he still feels self-loathing for what he did (he doubts that that feeling will ever leave him), he feels guilt, sympathy, love, pain, loss, sadness, anger, self-doubt and more, so much more, these emotions were effecting him so much that he had to tell M'Benga because he would not be fit for duty. He has shielded himself from Jim so that Jim cant feel or hear what Spock is thinking, it is draining him so much more than having it blocked by a healer because his mind is desperate to stay connected to Jim and for Jim's emotional well-being he cannot allow that.

Spock needs to meditate as his emotions are beginning to overwhelm him again but he will not be able to do that until he leaves, sickbay isn't exactly the quietest place on the ship.

He has also had no visitors since being in sickbay which is unsurprising as he had only Nyota to speak to before his Pon-Farr and they haven't spoken since the night she came to break up with him. He didn't blame her for that he knew that she really cared about him, it wasn't love but there was affection on both sides, the relationship hadn't even been that long as he had refused to date her whilst she was a student and she had agreed, it was only after Nero that they started to pursue a romantic entanglement. Spock knew that to most of the crew he came across as being self-sufficient and had no feelings but he was for a lack of a better term lonely. He had not spoken to father in months even when Sarek had been aboard the ship they still kept their distance, even Amanda's death had not helped breach the chasm that was between them. It was eating him up that he had no body who would miss him when he was gone after all most sentient beings wanted to know that their lives had had some purpose, that it had not been all in vain.

Hidden in his private room, Spock once again allows his human heritage to take charge and he starts to cry silently. He is totally locked into his mind and so doesn't hear when someone approaches. A gentle hand to his shoulder makes him jump. Startled the hand removes itself from his shoulder and he looks up to see Nyota smiling tearfully at him.

"I'm so sorry Spock, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It is OK lieutenant, I was simply..." Unable to come up with a plausible excuse he allows his voice to drift off.

"Don't call me lieutenant, I'm here as a friend, as your friend. I am so sorry, I should have been there for you. You've suffered so much and I didn't help when I asked for space." Spock nods his head and Nyota sits down on the bed next to him. "Tell me what I can do to make this right for you. Tell me what you need."

"I... I need Jim, I do not wish for anything else. I wish for his forgiveness and for his love. I know that I do not deserve either but I still wish for it and I know that is illogical but I find that I do not care."

"Do you love him?"

Nyota pulls out a handkerchief out of a pocket and hands it to Spock who accepts it gratefully and uses it to wipe away the evidence of his emotional instability.

"Yes, every fibre of my being is crying out to be joined with him."

Nyota lays a hand on his arm in a comforting gesture and he feels the genuine sympathy she has for him.

"What do I do Nyota? How do I make it right for him?"

She looks away for a moment, thinking.

"All you can do is be there for him, let him know that you will never harm him again. Continue to protect him and don't avoid him. But don't crowd him either, if you see him on shift do not attempt a meeting afterwards. Ask him for a game of chess but hold it in the rec rooms whilst other people are around so he feels more secure. Ask to be put back on alpha shift on the bridge. I don't know what else to suggest but to give it time, progress slowly you don't want to scare him off again."

There is a knock at the door and both Spock and Uhura watch as M'Benga enters the room quietly, he looks slightly apprehensive as he approaches Spock. Both Spock and Uhura notice this, they share a confused look. M'Benga looks at Spock.

"Commander may I have a word with you in private?"

"Of course. Nyota?"

"It's fine I'll be back tomorrow, we have a lot to catch up on."

Again Spock just nods his acquiesce and Uhura leaves the room, Spock turns to look back at M'Benga who appears to be waiting for a short while to make sure they will not be disturbed. Spock too looks apprehensive as the news is obviously big; and what a bombshell it is.

"Commander I have run the tests three times myself... it would appear that you are still in Pon-Farr and that is the reason why your emotions have been so difficult to control."

Horror fills Spock's mind, how can he still be in Pon-Farr? The plak tow had broken over two months ago, he should be dead if he was still in Pon-Farr, he should have known that he was still within its grip. He had taken so much from Jim and it had been for nothing.

"I've contacted a healer on new Vulcan, they are waiting to speak with you. I have set the call up in my office so that you will have privacy."

Still suffering from shock Spock climbs off the biobed and follows M'Benga to his office, he is sat down in front of the computer then M'Benga connects the call and leaves the room. Spock is connected to T'Myra, the mind healer who had blocked the bond. The female Vulcan shows no trace of emotion as she watches Spock struggle with his control to appear as Vulcan as possible.

"I believe that your physician has told you the basic facts?"

"He has told me that I am still in Pon-Farr but not how or why I am still alive."

"The reason you are still in Pon-Farr is because your T'hy'la had not consented to be your mate. I did not know when I examined you mind that T'hy'la cannot be forced and have the other survive Pon-Farr, you have sated the plak tow but you have not formed the bond needed to break the Pon-Farr itself. Although you have formed a bond with your T'hy'la it is not complete and will not be complete until your chosen consents to a coupling between you. It only has to be once and the cycle will be over for another seven years. The strain of the bond is affecting you both, Jim will also be suffering but he will not know why. As for why you are still alive, that is more to do with your human heritage as the stresses on the Vulcan body for this long would have caused death, your human blood acts as a balancer it is why you also did not feel Pon-Farr arrive until the plak tow had taken its hold. You must go to your T'hy'la and explain the situation, logically he would agree just to save your life. Unfortunately humans are anything but logical."

Spock feels a corner of his mouth upturn at the healers joke, satisfied with their conversation the healer switches the comm off and the screen is plunged into darkness. Spock sits in the chair for a few minutes before he decides to speak to Jim. He would allow Jim to choose, he would give him all the facts, he could not allow a repeat of his plak tow. If Jim did not wish to join with him, then he would have to leave and hope that distance would cause a dampening effect on their bond so that when he died Jim would not overwhelmed with pain and be taken with him.

Decision made Spock leaves M'Benga's office and proceeds to leave sickbay and go to Jim's quarters. As he gets closer to Jim he can smell the pheramones Jim is subconsciously putting out, it is a heady scent and as he moves close it begins to overwhelm his control, he needs his T'hy'la and nothing will stop him from joining with him. He presses the buzzer to the door and watches as it is opened by Jim wearing his nightwear, Spock loses control at the sight of Jim and it is not long before he has Jim up against the wall, he allows his lips to join with Jim's and at the spark that flies between them he moves closer, he eventually pulls away when he can feel that Jim needs to breathe or face losing consciousness.

"Jim, T'hy'la I need you."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

A/N: I want to thank everyone who has written a review for this story, I know I do not always comment back but I really am grateful. Warning: porn ahead.

"Jim T'hy'la I need you."

Again Spock leans in and kisses Jim, he strokes Jim's cheek. Jim looks terrified.

"Why?"

"Because we are T'hy'la it isn't over... Jim I am still in Pon-Farr."

Jim tries to back off from Spock but there is no where for him to go. Spock cups Jim's cheek in his hand, he moves closer to Jim invading his space. He gently kisses Jim's lips and then nuzzles Jim's neck inhaling Jim's intoxicating scent.

"But how can that be?"

"I am not in the plak tow, I will not become violent to you nor will our coupling hurt you. But I do need to be with you again. I will be gentle I promise. I cannot do this without your consent."

Panic begins to fill Jim's mind.

"But... but I don't understand."

"Dr M'Benga has run the necessary tests three times and it has come back positive, I have spoken with a healer on the colony and they have explained how I can still be in Pon-Farr and yet still be alive. Jim please allow me to join with you to show you."

Spock moves his fingers to Jim's psi points, Jim nods his head and Spock joins their minds together. He shows Jim his conversation to T'Myra, he can feel Jim's fear at having to be with Spock again. Spock pulls out of the meld sooner than he would have liked as Jim's panic grows.

"Jim, do you understand? Do you see why I need you?"

Jim nods, Spock kisses Jim's lips again.

"I don't know Spock, I understand but I don't know if I can be with you. I don't know what to do, every time things seem to be getting better between us you drop a bombshell like this or you try and get with me."

Spock hangs his head in shame.

"I know T'hy'la, I know."

Spock moves closer to Jim so that there is no space left between them. He moves his hands to Jim's waist and starts to nuzzle Jim's neck.

"Please Jim, I need you. Please Jim."

Spock backs off slightly and removes Jim's sleep-shirt gently and slowly giving Jim a chance to tell him no, it doesn't come so he moves back into Jim's space and allows his hands to explore the much wanted skin. Spock returns to nuzzling Jim's neck whilst Jim stays still. He leads Jim over to the bed without his head leaving Jim's neck or his hands from Jim's chest. He lowers him onto the bed gently and slowly, kissing every part of Jim he can reach whilst his hands undo the tie to Jim's sleep-pants. Jim is still resistant to Spock's touch but doesn't attempt to push him away. They end up with their heads lying at the foot of the bed with Spock in between Jim's thighs. Spock is clearly enjoying being with his T'hy'la and only stops kissing Jim when McCoy walks into the room.

"What the hell?"

Spock looks up at McCoy and growls, he resumes kissing Jim. McCoy rushes over to them when Spock gets impatient and rips Jim's sleep-pants off in one go. Jim looks up at McCoy's approach.

"Bones stop. He needs help, my help; he's still in Pon-Farr."

"God dammit Jim, did you agree to this?"

Spock bites down on one of Jim's nipples and when he receives an exited gasp he does it again to the other one causing Jim to arch his back. Hiding his smile in Jim's chest he makes his way down Jim's body to his navel and explores it with his tongue.

"Honestly? No"

Spock stops exploring Jim's body and looks up into Jim's oh so blue eyes.

"You must agree T'hy'la. It is the only way."

"Fine but only if you promise to leave me alone afterwards, no more trying to be with me, got it?"

Spock reluctantly nods and carries on kissing Jim. McCoy looks uncomfortable.

"Jim do you really want to do this?"

McCoy goes to touch Jim but quickly removes is hand when Spock growls again. Spock moves his body to cover Jim's own in a possessive gesture, he looks at McCoy as he kisses Jim's lips.

"I suggest you leave Dr McCoy before I see you as competition for my mate. You would not win in a fight between us."

McCoy looks at Jim to see if he wants him to leave at Jim's nod McCoy leaves them to it and Spock gives him such a look of adoration that he has to close eyes.

"Just get on with it."

Spock shakes his head.

"I wish for you to enjoy it. I do not wish for a repeat of our last time together."

Jim turns his head sideways and lies there passive.

"Whatever."

"Jim please you must participate."

"I've never been with a male before, I don't know what to do."

Spock kisses Jim's lips and is delighted when Jim kissed him back.

"Just do that, kiss me back, do whatever it is that the females you have been with do."

It hurts Spock to think of Jim being with someone else but he knows that he will never have Jim to himself, this is the one time he can show Jim how loving he can be. He kisses Jim again gently before moving back down, he smiles when Jim runs his hand through Spock's hair, it's not a lot but it's a start. Up till now Spock had concentrated all his efforts above Jim's waist to try and relax him but now he is going south of the border to his prize. He sees that it is half-hard and sets about bringing it to full mast by using his tongue. He uses his telepathy to find the best places to tease as Jim is still being slightly reserved, he knows its working when Jim starts to gasp slightly and move under Spock's ministrations. Delighted Spock feels that Jim is ready and removes his hospital gown, Jim looks a little nervous when he does so.

"Jim I will be as gentle as possible."

"It'll still hurt though."

"I know and I am sorry."

Spock looks around the room.

"Is there any lubricant in this room?"

"Third drawer of the bedside cabinet."

Spock lifts himself off of Jim and finds the lubricant with ease, he takes two pillows from the head of the bed; one he uses to place behind Jim's head and the other he places under Jim's hips. He places the tube of lubricant by Jim's hand and returns to his ministrations as Jim's erection has wilted slightly. Once satisfied with Jim's state of arousal Spock turns back to the matter at hand and opens Jim's thighs wider, Jim watches as Spock starts to lick at his opening, slowly at first so that Jim can get used to the sensation before moving faster, he then slowly starts to push inside. He holds Jim's thighs open as he begins to struggle and panic.

"Jim calm yourself. Breathe deep, I will not hurt you. I promise."

Jim tries to calm himself, though he's terrified and it's not just because of what Spock is doing, he's terrified because he is enjoying it.

"Just hurry up, I want this over with."

"Jim."

"I'm sorry Spock but I... just hurry up before I change my mind."

Nodding slowly, Spock move back up the bed. He gives Jim a quick kiss to the lips and then kneels up he takes the bottle of lubricant and squirts some of the liquid onto his hand, he then rubs it over his penis before using that hand to rub some around Jim's anus. He slowly starts to insert one finger but pauses when Jim whimpers, at Jim's nod he continues to move the finger in and out. Then he inserts a second finger again pausing to allow Jim to get used to the feeling, he begins a scissoring motion in order to open Jim up even more, realising that Jim still wasn't wide enough he inserted a third and then a fourth finger as he does so he finds Jim's prostate and Jim almost jackknifes off of the bed so he does it again and again. Finally judging Jim to be ready he pulls his fingers out and replaces them with his penis, slowly he pushes in, giving Jim time to adjust before picking up the speed.

"Is everything OK T'hy'la?"

Jim just nods not trusting himself to speak, Jim moans when Spock brushes up against his prostate again. Spock moves Jim's legs to over his shoulders to permit himself to go deeper and faster, when he finds the prostate again he changes his angle so that he hits it dead on every time he pushes in, he begins to speed up and hit deeper into Jim when he feels Jim becoming more aroused. He kisses Jim's lips again. Jim is barely moving beneath him but it is enough for Spock to know that this time at least Jim has chosen to be with him. Eventually they get to the stage where they are both breathing rapidly as their climax nears, Spock moves his hand from Jim's where it has being giving him Vulcan kisses to his psi points at Jim's nod they are thrown into a meld and they are simultaneously thrown over the edge of their climax together with both of them screaming the others name.

Spock breaks the meld and moves off of Jim but doesn't move away, he lies down next him and pulls Jim into his arms still panting. Finally their breathing becomes normalised.

"So is it over?"

"I believe so."

"Will it ever happen again?"

"You do not have to worry about Pon-Farr again."

Holding him in his arms, Spock closes his eyes wishing he can sleep next to Jim. Spock feels Jim move beside him.

"What is wrong T'hy'la?"

"I'm going to take a shower, I'm all sticky and sweaty."

Spock moves Jim back onto the bed.

"Stay here."

Spock gets out of the bed, he goes into the bathroom and washes himself before bringing Jim a damp wash cloth. Jim is still on the bed, he looks up at Spock.

"Allow me to tend to you."

Jim nods and Spock helps to clean Jim. Satisfied that Jim is no longer sticky and sweaty he throws the cloth to the other side of the room.

"May I stay with you tonight?"

Jim looks away.

"You said you'd leave me alone afterwards."

"I believe it is customary on earth to stay the night after engaging in coitus."

"It is but as you keep telling people you are Vulcan I don't think that it applies here."

"Please Jim, just one night I beg of you. Allow me to be near you and our unborn daughter."

Jim closes his eyes and sighs.

"Fine, one night and I want you out of here before I wake. Got it?"

Spock smiles slightly and nods before picking Jim up and turning him around. He moves the two pillows back to their original position and placing Jim's head on them, he then climbs into the bed and pulls Jim so that his head is now on Spock's chest and closes his eyes, when he thinks that Jim is asleep he whispers four little words with as much feeling as he can into Jim's ear before falling into a deep sleep.

"I love you T'hy'la."

Jim however is not asleep and opens his eyes but he doesn't say anything and soon he falls asleep too. Neither Spock nor Jim are disturbed by nightmares or memories of the past and they sleep right through until after the beginning of alpha shift, they are not even wakened when McCoy comes in to check on Jim. It is the first good nights sleep for either man since the Pon-Farr began.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

A/N: This is a bit of a longer chapter. FYI there is no more rape or non-consensual sex from now on, that doesn't mean that there's gonna be no sex it just might not take place between Jim and Spock. It also doesn't mean that there's gonna be no more angst because as you can tell from this chapter there are a lot more problems to come. Enjoy!

Feeling warm and safe Jim starts to slowly wake up, the pillow he is lying on is firm but comfortable so Jim hugs it closer. There's a pleasant light spicy scent in the air Jim breathes it in deeply, all in all Jim feels well rested for the first time in months, he doesn't want to move from this warm spot but his bladder is telling him that it needs to be empty, sighing slightly he opens his eyes and is shocked to find himself still in Spock's arms. Jim carefully pulls away from Spock not wishing to wake him and then runs into the bathroom with a clean set of clothes, he has a quick whiz and then takes a quick sonic shower and gets dressed, he peeks back in the bedroom to see if he has roused Spock but luckily it seems that Spock is still sleeping on blissfully away. Jim heads back out into the bedroom, cursing quietly when he stubs his foot on the edge of the bed. Jim quickly looks up but Spock has not moved. Jim takes the chance to have a good long look at Spock, in his sleep Spock looked calm and peaceful but there were still obvious marks of strain on his face, the weight he had lost looked even worse in the dim light and Jim has to hold back a gasp. He had known that he wasn't the only one suffering but he didn't realise how badly Spock has being dealing with it, for instance Vulcan's needed about half the amount of sleep that a human needed but here was Spock who had slept longer than Jim, Jim glanced at the clock to see how long he had slept and he is amazed to see that it is almost half way through alpha shift, they had spent the last twelve hours sleeping together. He couldn't remember waking up at any point in the night or having any bad dreams either. Jim watches as Spock begins to moan in what sounds like fear and realises he's not the only one who has nightmares about what had happened.

"T'hy'la, nooooo. So sorry, I'm so sorry... need you so much... cant be with him... love him... love you T'hy'la... never hurt you again Ashayam. My husband... my T'hy'la... need you... love you."

Jim goes over to Spock, he can see how much pain the half-Vulcan is in, he walks all over to Spock and sits down on the bed next to him, all the hatred he had felt towards Spock had now gone, he still was afraid of Spock but that had lessened as well, how can his feelings towards him change so much? He strokes Spock's hair, smoothing it where it had ruffled in his sleep. As Jim stroked him, Spock calms down.

"T'hy'la love you so much... mine T'hy'la."

Jim gently wakes Spock up.

"Hey, it's time to get up Spock."

Spock blinks slowly as he wakes up, he looks up and Jim and smiles, he still thinks he's sleeping.

"T'hy'la."

He reaches up with his hand and brushes Jim's lips with his thumb, sparks of pleasure shoot down both their spines, Jim flinches slightly and Spock notices the smile slips from his face. Jim doesn't hate Spock but he's doesn't want to be with either.

"You are awake Spock."

Spock pulls his hand away from Jim and sits up. He then gets up off the bed using the quilt to cover his modesty.

"I apologise Jim."

He walks over to the replicator and replicates himself a new uniform and then goes into the bathroom to get dressed. When he comes out he barely looks at Jim.

"Spock... go see if you are released for duty, and then you can work the rest of alpha shift on the bridge."

Spock smiles at Jim with his eyes. Hopefully now they can start working together and start on that epic friendship they were destined to have.

"I will Ji-Captain. What will you do?"

"I'm off duty for the next few days so bones can check on the baby to make sure there's no side effects from the surgery."

"Of course."

"Go set something to eat as well you look half starved."

Spock nods and moves towards the door.

"I will Jim. You must eat too, you cannot go without food and you are carrying our child."

Jim nods and Spock leaves, not long after McCoy enters the room.

"Hey bones."

"Don't you hey bones me. What were you thinking last night?"

Jim looks at the floor.

"I dunno bones but lately... I guess I don't hate any more. And I'm not as scared of as I was so I thought you know that I'd do it and hope that would be the end of it."

McCoy gives him a quick hug.

"Is it the end of it?"

Jim just shrugs.

"I dunno. I hope so."

* * *

A few days later

"So Jim, looking forward to being back in your chair?"

Jim smiles.

"Yeah I am. Bit nervous though, it's the first time I'm gonna be working with Spock on the bridge for more than two months."

That wasn't the only thing that he was nervous about; the previous day he had told his command crew that he was pregnant and although they had taken it well he wasn't so sure about the rest of the ship, he had allowed the command crew to tell their underlings and now he was worried in case someone said something or decided to transfer because they were uncomfortable with the situation.

"You'll be al-right kid, he wont do nothing on the bridge and besides he said he would leave you alone didn't he?"

Jim looks thoughtful.

"Yeah he did."

Jim finishes getting ready for his shift, takes a few deep breaths and winces when McCoy jabs him with a hypo.

"Ouch what the hell was that for?"

McCoy smirks at him so Jim throws a pillow at his head but he ducks in time and it misses.

"Oi watch it, that was just a shot of iron and copper supplements for you and the baby. You're gonna need one everyday from now on as she begins to suck all the vitamins out of you like a vampiric hobgoblin that she is."

Jim covers his stomach with his hands.

"Don't worry baby, he doesn't mean it really."

McCoy smirks again.

"Oh yeah and how do you know?"

"Because granddad you wouldn't have accepted the job of godfather if you did."

"Touché Now get out of here, don't you have a ship to run?"

Jim grins and leaves. God he cant wait till he can sit back in his Chair, it has been far too long. Jim had the feeling that today was gonna be a good day.

Meanwhile at the other end of the ship Spock has just finished making sure that his appearance was spotless, he knew Jim wouldn't be impressed but he did anyway. He is just about to leave his quarters to get to the bridge early when there is a knock at the door. He opens it and on the threshold is Uhura.

"Hey Spock, can I come in for a second. I've got something I need to tell you. I've been putting it off for the last few days but you have the right to know."

"You know you can tell me anything Nyota. What is it?"

She looks lightly nervous for no reason that Spock can ascertain.

"Well Spock I've been seeing someone, we are being discreet as the relationship has only just started but I wanted you to find out from me rather than someone who had accidentally found out."

"I see and whom is it you are dating?"

"It's er... well it's Scotty."

"I see. I am gratified that you wanted me to know."

She smiles at him.

"Well we are friends again and this is what they talk about and talking of which how are things between you and Jim?"

Spock stands slightly straighter, feeling uncomfortable talking about his relationship with Jim especially now there is some hope building in his human heart.

"Things are progressing well. He is allowing me to spend my shift on the bridge with him."

Uhura smiles again.

"That's good, I'm glad things are getting better between you two."

Uhura takes a long appraising look at Spock.

"You look better too. How are you feeling?"

"My condition is satisfactory. I have been able to meditate fully and sleep as long as needed. Would you like to accompany me to the bridge?"

"I would love to."

They walk together talking about little unimportant things that have happened on the ship (in other words they were gossiping). They both were relaxed and when there was no words from either of them they walked in companionable silence. They make it to the bridge were they see Jim has already taken the command chair early, he's just finishing a drink and handing it to his yeoman as they walk in.

"Morning Captain"

They speak in unison, Jim nods in acknowledgement and then they split and head to their stations. The day looks like it is going to be an uneventful one until they receive a call from star-fleet command.

"Sir incoming call from Admiral Komack, he is requesting a private conversation with you."

"Al-right lieutenant, transfer the call to my ready room. Mr Spock you have the conn."

"Acknowledged sir."

Jim gets up out of his seat and walks into his ready room. Spock stays at his station as there is only a 6.98% chance of an attack at the moment and his time is better spent at his science station. Jim sits down in his chair in the ready room and switches on the comm channel.

"Lieutenant you may put the Admiral through now."

Uhura nods and her face is quickly replaced by the face of Admiral Komack and he doesn't look happy.

"What the hell is going on Kirk? What's this about you being pregnant?"

"Well sir, due to unforeseen circumstances, I'm with child."

"I presume you are talking about when you were raped."

Jim winces internally at komack's cold disposition.

"Yes sir."

"I hope you're going to have an abortion. I cant have a pregnant captain in charge of the flagship. I presume that your doctor can arrange the necessary procedure."

Jim's heart stops beating for just a moment. Absolute anger fills him, he struggles to keep his temper in check.

"No sir I am not planning on having an abortion. No matter how the foetus was conceived I am going to keep it."

Komack scowls.

"Well then Kirk I am going to have to put you on extended maternity leave."

"What? Why?"

Komack smirks and Jim feels as though someone has just dumped a bucket of water over his head.

"According to your last mission report you had to spend an extended time in sickbay and on bed rest than a normal person would. So the pregnancy is already affecting your ability to command the ship. You will also not be able to do many of the jobs specifiably set for the flagship. I cannot send you into a battle nor can I send you on any away missions. Your last command on this ship is to order the ship back to earth and turn over command to your first officer."

"Why earth sir?"

"Because that is where the new captain will be picked up. Have a nice day."

Komack smirks again and the screen goes blank. Jim sits in his chair horrified, tears start to stream down his face and before he knows it he is sobbing into his hands. Finally he gets himself together and he leaves the ready room. Shaking slightly he orders Sulu to set course for earth and then he hands control of to Spock to the shock of the entire bridge crew. He then leaves the bridge and starts making his way down to sickbay as he is in desperate need of some support, he doesn't even make it half way before he collapses.

When he awakes again he feels empty and scared, he is obviously in sickbay and just as he goes to sit up, McCoy walks into the room.

"Don't get up kid, just lie back, everything is gonna be OK."

"What happened?"

McCoy sits down on the bed next to Jim. He puts his hand on Jim's shoulder in a comforting way.

"You collapsed Jim. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"What? What are you sorry about?"

"She didn't make it, you've lost the baby."

Jim stops breathing, it cant be right, he cant have lost her. Not his baby. Panic runs through him and Jim feels like he is falling, like the bottom the his world had just fallen out. She's gone and so is the reason for living.

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

A/N: Nothing is what it seems at least in the last chapter, there's going to be some confusion but it's all part of the plan (I just couldn't go through with it even I'm not that mean to Jim). Thanks for all the reviews. Enjoy.

Spock is stood at his science station waiting for Jim come out of the conference with Komack, he can feel his mates pain and wants nothing more to go to him and soothe it but he keeps his distance. He doesn't have to wait long before Jim comes out, waves of despair rolling off of him.

"Lieutenant Sulu please lay in a new course for Earth. Mr Spock you are acting captain until we reach Earth."

Everyone on the bridge feels shocked none more so than Spock, he knew something was wrong he could feel it but this wasn't what he had expected. Before he can ask him what had happened Jim had left the bridge, Spock orders everyone back to work as they were still staring at the turbo-lift where Jim had just disappeared from. Spock continues running his scans until he feels Jim collapse and fall unconscious. Spock barks out an order that lieutenant Sulu had the bridge and then raced after Jim, heart beating rapidly he did not even wait long enough for Sulu's reply. He found Jim not far from sickbay so he picked him up and carried him.

"What in the blazes happened?"

McCoy had come rushing out of his office when he saw Spock enter. Spock barely glances at him before he places Jim gently and carefully down on a bio-bed. When he is sure that Jim is comfortable he turns and looks at McCoy.

"I do not know. I felt him collapse and went after him. He had just come out of a conference call with Admiral Komack, he then changed our course direction and promoted me to acting captain."

McCoy scowls.

"God dammit. His blood chemistry doesn't look right. M'Benga take a blood sample and take it to sciences, see if they can figure out what that is."

"I will run the tests myself Doctor."

Spock watches as the doctors attempt to save Jim's life, panic is coursing through his veins and it is all he can do to keep his Vulcan façade up.

"Fine."

M'Benga hands Spock a vial of Jim's blood and Spock leaves, he heads straight down to the science labs, he commanders the lab and runs the test. He runs it three times to make sure and then walks rapidly back to sickbay.

"Doctor, it is Cyotrotialine."

"Shit. M'Benga get me some Rynhonastram. Where the hell did he come into contact with that shit? Thank the gods that he is having a copper blooded baby."

Spock leaves the doctors to their job knowing that he is just getting in there way.

McCoy injects Jim with the antidote and they all wait anxiously for it to begin to work, if they had not got it to him in time then nothing else they can try will matter, fortunately it appears to be working and his stats begin to increase and then level off. They all give a sigh of relief and then work on increasing Jim's fluids and they check on the baby. Jim is transferred into his private room for security and then McCoy orders M'Benga to stay with Jim and only allow himself, McCoy and nurse Chapel access to Jim's private room.

"Will the captain be al-right?"

"He'll be fine, if you had gotten there just a few minutes later or if it had taken any longer for you to find out what it was then it would be a very different story. He's in a coma at the moment but he should come out of it pretty soon."

Relief fills Spock's mind, falling in love with Jim was certainly not boring, it was like being on a roller-coaster of emotions and he wouldn't change it for the world.

"And what of the child?"

"She's gonna be fine too. But I don't think she could take any more stress, I don't think that either of them could."

Spock didn't think that he could take any more either and neither did McCoy.

"I will endeavour to make sure that neither will suffer more stress. Please let me know when Jim is up to visitors."

"I still don't like you hobgoblin but if you keep saving Jim's life I might stop planning to kill you."

"I am gratified."

"Whatever, now go find out why Jim was poisoned."

"That poison isn't well known so that should limit how many people on the ship would have known of it. There is none on board so it must have been smuggled on for this purpose, I will check over the logs and find out who had motive and opportunity. How was it administered?"

"Well there's no way he would have taken it accidentally so it means that someone on the ship must have slipped it into his food or drink as it is only effective when mixed with stomach acid, so injections are ruled out. He had breakfast with me this morning so it wasn't ingested then."

"When I reported to the bridge this morning the captain was handing a empty mug back to his yeoman. I will have to investigate further."

"Doctor McCoy, you are needed in the captains room."

Both Spock and McCoy look worried and rush to Jim's bedside where the alarms are blaring.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"I don't know sir, for some reason his stats are falling and I cant find a reason for it, it's nothing to do with the poison. It's like he has just given up."

"What?"

McCoy looks at his best friend worried that after all of Jim's dangerous stunts he finally was unable to bounce back. He brushes Jim's hair, this cant be the end, he is too good for something like this to happen.

"I know sir."

Spock moves closer to Jim, he lays his hand over Jim's hand and squeezes gently. He focuses his mind and realises that there is only one option for them to take. At this point in time he might as well move into Jim's mind, not that he would ever complain.

"I can perform a mind meld. It will allow me to ascertain what is going on inside Jim's mind."

"That's your answer for everything. God damn mind voodoo."

"It will work. You have to let me try or we will lose him."

"Fine. Do it."

Spock squeezes Jim's hand again and then moves his to Jim's psi points.

"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts."

_When Spock opens his minds eyes he finds himself back in sickbay but not the sickbay he has just left at least not all of it, there is only Jim's private room. There is the door leading out but there is nothing beyond it. Spock looks around the room he sees Jim lying on the bio-bed eyes blank, pain etched into every line of his youthful face. Spock goes to him._

"_Jim, are you al-right?"_

_Jim doesn't answer, he doesn't give any indication of hearing him._

"_Jim what has happened? The poison should not have done this. It would not have caused this."_

_Jim lifts his head slowly._

"_The baby I lost her, she's gone. I lost my baby."_

_Comprehension dawns on Spock, it's the only reason Jim had not completely broken down after Spock's attack._

"_Jim no she is fine, you both are. You were given the antidote in time, there are no side effects as of yet. You haven't lost your baby. I promise, you are still carrying our child."_

"_You're lying I know you are, McCoy told me she was gone. It's all my fault."_

"_No Jim, she is fine I can show you."_

_Spock moves closer to Jim, he holds out his hand and after a seconds hesitation Jim takes it. Holding onto Jim they travel to a new area one where there is a small barely formed ball of light._

"_This is her Jim. Allow me to introduce you to our daughter."_

_Jim reaches out his free hand to touch the light and as he does so it brightens, almost preening under his touch._

"_She is beautiful Spock."_

"_Yes she is. And as you can see she is still here."_

_Jim looks confused._

"_Then why would McCoy tell me that she was gone?"_

"_I believe that the drug you were given reacted differently because of our daughters copper based blood, it caused you to live your worse nightmare. The drug you were given was supposed to have caused your death but as I stated that we gave you the antidote as soon as possible it should cause hardly any side effects. I would like to take you back out into the real world now."_

"_Cant we stay a little longer? I don't want to leave her alone."_

"_Jim she will not be alone as long as you are her father."_

_Jim smiles at Spock. _

"_Yeah lets go, I don't want bones to worry."_

_Jim feels Spock's jealously at the apparent closeness between Jim and McCoy._

"_He's my best friend, he actually more like my father than a friend but don't tell him that."_

"_Your secret is safe with me."_

_Jim smiles again and squeezes Spock's hand and Spock takes them back out of the meld._

"Thank god for that."

McCoy strokes Jim's hair.

"Hey kiddo you had me scared. What happened?"

Jim looks at Spock, Spock squeezes Jim's hand again.

"The drug had an unforeseen complication."

"What was wrong Jim?"

"I had a hallucination that you told me that I lost the baby."

"No wonder you started to let go. Just don't do that to me again got it?"

Jim looks away meekly.

"I'm sorry bones but if I lost her..."

McCoy grips Jim's shoulder.

"Yeah I know kid, it'd destroy you. I just worry about you. I don't want anything to happen to you. You're family kid and don't you forget it, it's not like it was before, you've got people who care about you now, people who would be devastated by losing you."

Jim looks away from both Spock and McCoy.

"Get some rest kiddo. OK?"

Jim nods and closes his eyes and Spock and McCoy leave to go back to McCoy's office. Once they are in, McCoy engages the privacy mode and sits down at his desk.

"Thanks for bringing him out of there."

"I did not wish to lose him either. I will start my investigation, I will keep it low key, we do not know who to trust."

"I know. Just make sure they are caught before he gets hurt again."

Spock takes a seat opposite McCoy.

"I believe the person to be involved was in partnership with Kodos."

McCoy looks horrified.

"What makes you say that?"

"Kodos stated that he had someone on board the ship, it was how he knew I had attacked Jim. With the surgery and finding out that Jim is pregnant, I did not give it much thought, I regret that I did not act earlier."

"Dammit Spock, get out of here and go find them now! If they hurt Jim again I'm blaming you. Stupid hobgoblin."

Spock rises from his seat and leaves he has a job to do and he has to do it quickly. The first port of call for him is yeoman Rand, she was the one who took the drink from Jim. It doesn't take Spock to locate and speak to her. He asks her to meet him in one of the conference rooms. It is not long before she arrives and Spock gets on with the questioning, he tries to be subtle but it's not his forte. The questioning only lasts a few minutes before Spock finds out that the drink was especially prepared for the captain by one of the kitchen staff; a young woman by the name Lenora Karidian, she had just transferred from the USS Falcon. She had no convictions and there were no problems raised on her psychiatric evaluation, she was a loner but there is nothing unusual about that. But there was something about her that raised the hairs on the back of his neck something familiar and yet sinister. It was nothing she had done, it was certainly nothing she said but at the same time there was something about her.

Spock didn't need to ask any questions before she starts bragging about what had happened, she doesn't seem to care about her future, she doesn't give a motive for what she did, or how she managed to pass the psych exam when she is so clearly disturbed. She just sits there and smirks at him but it doesn't take long for Spock to figure it out, she is Kodos' daughter. It was why she looked so familiar, why she would pass on information to a dangerous criminal. Spock asks for security to take her to the brig but before they can arrive she has taken a suicide pill, she is dead before she hits the floor. Anger and relief boil up inside of Spock; anger at her attacking his mate and for them not to be able to bring her to justice and relief, relief that his mate was safe. The investigation hadnt taken long but something wasn't adding up. Why brag about what had happened, so far there was no evidence that she had done anything wrong, Spock orders a complete search of her quarters where they find the Cyotrotialine and a few other illegal drugs which when used incorrectly or maliciously they can cause death or significant brain damage. Spock also orders a check of her messages and asks Uhura to look at them personally but there are no messages at all, Spock hacks into her account and finds that no messages have ever been sent or received from this account except from star-fleet and all are inter-departmental notes reminding about her tardiness or changes to the rota. Satisfied that there is nothing to be found they call off the investigation and send Lenora's body to the morgue for an autopsy.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"Hey kid, how are you feeling?"

Chris Pike gives Jim a quick once over from his viewscreen, Jim appears to look okay and he's received the medical report but he want to hear it from the man himself, Jim is still in his private room in sickbay.

"Better now that I know I don't have to watch my back. How are you doing? How's the physio?"

Chris gives Jim a warm smile.

"It's good,got some more movement in my legs, it still drives me up the wall. I'm not very patient."

Jim grins and shakes his head, Chris will never change.

"That's good I'm glad to hear that."

Chris suddenly looks serious and it scares Jim. He knows now that the miscarriage was a hallucination but the conversation with Komack was real.

"I've called you for a reason Jim. I've got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?"

Jim sighs, whatever it is it cant be that bad.

"You might as well tell me the bad news first."

"You've still got to come to Earth but..."

Jim waits on tenter hooks wondering what was the good news, he is hoping against all hopes that he is going to stay on as captain.

"The good news is you're coming back still as the captain and you and you're crew are going to get three weeks shoreleave while the Enterprise is getting a re-fit."

Jim is absolutely speechless and he feels like his grin is splitting his face. His heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest, it gets so fast and erratic that McCoy is alerted by the biobed and comes running into Jim's room.

"Jim? What's happened?"

Jim still cant speak. So Chris speaks for him. When he finds out what happened, McCoy just pulls Jim into a hug. Finally Jim swallows the lump in his throat.

"Not that I'm not grateful but how am I still the captain?"

Chris smiles at him.

"You've got some good friends, especially from the Vulcan's. Ambassador Syrek and High councillor T'Pau have both been quite vocal about your loss of position, quite how they found out I'm not sure."

He says all this with a suspicious smirk on his face, it's obvious that he's the one who let it slip.

"I don't think that Komack will be happy with that."

"He wasn't but when he bad mouthed the Vulcan's in front of a reporter he lost his job. Nogura was the one to sack him, I wish I had been there to see his face. Oh well you cant have anything can you?"

Jim looks confused.

"So who is my supervisor?"

Chris smirks again, for a genius who's IQ is off the charts Jim can be so clueless.

"Who do you think?"

"You, that's great."

"Yeah, I've got someone here who wants to talk to you in private so I'm gonna go, I've already spoken to Spock so he knows you'll be back in charge when you are discharged, I'll see you in two weeks, see you Jim. McCoy."

McCoy waits to see who wants to speak to him when he sees that it is Syrek he gives Jim a squeeze on the shoulder and goes back to work. Jim gives Syrek a smile and it fills Syrek's heart to see that smile again.

"Hello old friend."

"Jim, it is a pleasure to see you again."

Jim lowers his head in shame at how he treated Syrek.

"And you. I've got a lot of things to apologise for and I don't know where to begin."

"Jim do not worry, all is forgiven, I understand what you were going through and how having to deal with two Spock's would be too much."

Jim raises his head and gives another small smile.

"And I have so much to thank you for, you believed in me from the moment you met me, you _persuaded_ the admirals to promote me straight to captain and then you helped me keep my ship. I don't even know what to say."

"Then say nothing, your first best destiny is to be the captain of the Enterprise with Spock at your side. I was merely helping the universe to correct itself."

"I still mean it; thank you. Chris said you wanted to talk to me, what is it about?"

"It is to do with Spock. About how he has acted with you and why he cannot leave you alone. He will try to respect your wishes as I did at one point but a T'hy'la is too hard for a Vulcan to resist for long. He does not wish to be separated from you and it is eating him up inside, he will never willingly harm you. I know he has told you that many times but you must believe it."

Syrek is pleased to see that the mention of Spock does not cause Jim to flinch nor to become angry, there may not be love from Jim to Spock but at least there is no hate.

"I know but it's so hard, I am trying to let him in, I try not to flinch away from him. I know he's hurting because I can feel it. I know rationally that he's not a threat any more but that doesn't stop me being afraid."

"I know Jim, just allow him to be close to you and your child, he needs you both more than he will ever be able to say."

"He said that Vulcan males become extremely overprotective of their mates when they are pregnant is that true?"

"Yes, it is why pregnant females are never seen out of their homes. The instincts are from our warrior times when females were at a premium and were constantly fought for."

Jim scrunches his nose up in disgust, why does he have to be treated like a female just because he is pregnant?

"That's what he said."

Syrek gives a small smile at Jim's obvious displeasure, even thousands of light years and fifty years since he last was with his T'hy'la he can still read him like a book.

"Jim he will not lie to you. I know you believe that the myth about Vulcan's not being able to lie is false but a Vulcan will not lie to their spouse, it is so frowned upon in the culture that if you find out that your spouse has lied to you, you can get your bonding dissolved."

Jim looks away for a moment and Syrek gives a small sigh at the sight of his T'hy'la's counterpart being so conflicted and unsure.

"What about T'hy'la? He could lie to me and even if I found out we couldn't have the bonding dissolved."

"He will not lie to you Jim. He respects and yes loves you too much to lie to you."

Jim looks into Syrek's eyes searchingly.

"Can you lie to me?"

Syrek gives Jim a hint of a smile.

"I may not be your T'hy'la Jim but I was T'hy'la to another James Kirk so no Jim I cannot lie to you."

Jim smiles again ever so faintly. He looks tired so Syrek decides to say goodbye and allow Jim to rest.

"Jim if you ever need to talk, I will be here for you whenever you need me. You can contact me through Admiral Pike whenever you wish."

"You going then?"

"Yes Jim, you are fatigued you should sleep I will contact you in a couple of days."

"Thank you for everything."

"It is no problem Jim, rest yourself and allow yourself some peace."

"Good night Spock."

Jim smiles tiredly and before the screen has gone black Jim has fallen asleep. Syrek takes a moment before ending the call to once again watch over Jim whilst he is sleeping, he ends the call so he can get some much needed meditation, the pleasure he felt at being addressed by his own name is too bitter-sweet for words and in this universe there are a lot of bitter-sweet moments. Friends who have long since gone are alive again and most are younger than when he had first met them, he feels a moment of envy for his younger counterpart who will hopefully have more time with the people who will one day become his family.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

A/N: Just another short chapter, sorry.

Jim is released from sickbay the day after speaking to Pike and Syrek and he is happy his cheeks hurt from all the smiling he is doing, because Jim is happy and still the captain the rest of the crew are happy, efficiency and productivity are up in all the departments. Jim spends the day on the bridge sat in his seat, McCoy allows it on the basis that if they are attacked he has to pass over command to Spock or Scotty. He isn't happy but Jim knows that the stress could harm his baby and that is the last thing he wants. They manage to make it through the entire shift without anyone attacking them so Jim is even happier, his mood doesn't even dim when Spock asks if he can join the command crew for dinner, Jim can feel that Spock is terrified of being turned down, Jim looks at Nyota who smiles at Spock and shakes her head good naturedly (she had told Spock not to pursue Jim if they had just spent a shift together) Jim nods at Spock and Jim can feel Spock's immediate relief. Sulu, Chekov, and Nyota join Spock and Jim on their way to the lift and they travel to he mess hall together.

Spock sits Jim down at a empty table and then goes and fetches them both vegetarian meals, he hopes that Jim likes the meal, he knows that there is nothing in their meals that Jim is allergic to because not long after the night they spent together Spock had read and memorised the list of substances that could kill Jim accidentally. Jim looks at the meal that Spock places down in front of him, he smiles at the choice it is his favourite vegetarian meal, crustless spinach, onion and feta quiche with french toast. Jim gives Spock a smile and it warms Spock's heart, Jim can feel how happy Spock is that Jim likes his choice. The rest of the command crew join Jim and Spock and their conversation settles on what they are doing with their three week shoreleave; Sulu is going rock-climbing in the Rockies with Chekov, Uhura is going back to Africa to see her folks, McCoy is going to spend as much time as possible with his daughter in Georgia and Scotty is going to stay on the Enterprise to help with the refit to make sure they don't mess about with his baby. When they all ask Jim what he is doing for his shoreleave he just shrugs and changes the topic to the rotas, the others take the hint and they allow the conversation change.

It's not long before the plates are empty and they start to leave the table eventually there is just McCoy, Jim and Spock left.

"Alright kid spill what are you doing for shoreleave?"

McCoy glares at Jim until Jim looks away and answers.

"I honestly don't know, I'll probably stay with Chris in San Francisco. I might spend some of my wages and get some new clothes because I don't have many suitable off duty clothes and maybe look at somewhere for me and the baby to live while on shoreleave and between missions, somewhere to just hang out whilst waiting to come home."

"You should come to Georgia with me, Joanna would love to see you and she'd be ecstatic to find out she is getting a niece."

Jim smiles but it looks pained.

"Bones that's not fair on you, I'm not gonna take precious time from you two. You barely get to see her as it is."

"Jim I meant what I said at the academy, you're family so you will join us, even if it is only for a week, we could comeback with you and make sure that you get a nice place and are not getting ripped off. Joanna sees you as her older brother, she wont be happy if you don't come with me."

This time Jim's smile is a lot more genuine.

"Whom is Joanna?"

McCoy looks at Spock and rolls his eyes.

"She's my daughter, she's seven. Jim you have to come, I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Fine I'll come."

McCoy grins

"Good boy, we'll beam down together, you can spend time with your other dad and then you'll come to Georgia."

Jim looks exasperated.

"I said fine. Yes I will come."

McCoy grins, and stands up and stretches.

"Now that's settled I want you to come to sickbay tomorrow for your scan. And I'll give you one on the day we're back at Earth. I'm working a double today, M'Benga's got the flu so I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright bones, see you in the morning."

And with that McCoy walks out the mess hall leaving Spock and Jim alone. There is silence between them as neither knows what to say to the other. Finally Jim decides to break he silence and go back to his quarters.

"Well I'm gonna go hit the hay, good night Spock, I'll see you on the bridge tomorrow."

Jim goes to leave but Spock gently places a hand on Jim's arm and Jim stops.

"I would like to speak to you in private if you would allow it, it is important."

Jim nods and Spock follows him out of the mess hall and into one of the barely used conference rooms. Spock entwines his fingers with Jim's and places a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Spock don't please."

"Please Jim, I cannot stay away from you, I have tried, I... you are my everything."

Spock kisses Jim again, he cups the back of Jim's neck and then kisses even deeper. Jim allows his lips to part and joyously Spock's tongue slips inside his mouth. Spock's other hand is placed gently on Jim's waist and then is slowly moved to cup Jim's ass. Spock brings his lower half into contact with Jim and brushes their groins together. He pulls his lips away slowly not really wishing to stop but knowing that he shouldn't push Jim too fast or he may panic.

"Jim, will you come back to my quarters? I wish to speak with you but I also wish to continue this."

He again kisses Jim's lips this time it's more chaste. He then rests his forehead against Jim's.

"Spock just tell me what it is you want."

"You, I wish for you to move back into your old quarters so that I may be near you, I wish for this to be allowed to continue between us. I felt your enjoyment when we were together, I can feel your arousal now, I wish for you to give us a chance, for us to become a family, to become a couple. I need you so much and it is agony being able to see you every day and not being able to touch you. I need you to allow us to be together."

Jim looks away but Spock moves so that he can look into Jim's eyes.

"I don't know Spock, cant we just deal with getting back to a professional rapprochement first and then maybe trying for friends?"

"I cannot wait, my very katra objects every time we move away from each other, please Jim, just give us a chance."

TBC

A/N: I'm also still looking for girls names for the baby let me know if you have any. Please review it is my only payment for writing.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

A/N: I hope you like this chapter especially when an old friend appears. Bold Italics are translations. I think this may be the longest chapter I have written.

"I cannot wait, my very katra objects every time we move away from each other, please Jim, just give us a chance."

Spock moves closer to Jim, he cups Jim's cheek in his hand.

"Forgive me for what happened T'hy'la please I beg of you."

"I do forgive you Spock."

Jim looks into Spock's eyes and he can see that Spock is in pain and he doesn't want that. Yes he has forgiven Spock for what happened but he's not ready to rush into a relationship especially this one as he knows that this one could possibly be a life-long commitment, he explains all this to Spock and Spock agrees that they do not have to rush into anything and that as long as he is able to be near Jim, to be able to touch him and to kiss him, then it wont go any further between them. Spock says that he will hold back until Jim is ready, until Jim decides that he wants to be with Spock totally. Jim smiles at Spock and Spock melts, he moves his hands to Jim's waist as Jim's hands move to touch Spock, Spock cant help the wave of pleasure filling his senses at Jim's touch and moves in to kiss Jim. Jim also goes to kiss Spock but the micro-second before they touch lips the red alert siren goes off and Spock is called up to the bridge. Spock reluctantly pulls way from Jim and goes to do his duty and protect Jim's ship, leaving Jim in the room alone still leant against the wall, his breathing had increased as they had gotten closer together and it was taking a short while to go back to normal.

"Shit."

Knowing that he wont be able to go to sleep while he thinks there is a chance his ship could be in danger Jim heads down to sickbay to bother McCoy. When Jim gets to sickbay he can see that they are already prepared for any casualties they might sustain and Jim feels a burst of pride at how efficient and well prepared his crew is. McCoy spots Jim the instant he walks in, he must see something in the way he looks because Jim is pulled into McCoy's office with out so much as a how-do-you-do. Jim is pushed onto the couch.

"Spill it."

At Jim's confused look McCoy rolls his eyes.

"Jim I know you better than anyone, I know something has happened so spill."

Jim takes a deep breath and explains about what had happened after he had left the mess hall, he only gets to the part with Spock pushing him up a wall and kissing him before McCoy gets pissed off but before Jim can continue to explain what was going on between them McCoy had gotten up out of his seat and was heading to the door, on his way to the bridge. It is only Jim's desperate plea asking him not to leave that he stays.

"Want to tell me why I shouldn't go up there and rip his god damn arms off? Cant he leave you alone for five minutes without him trying to jump you?"

"Bones, I almost kissed him back, I said that I would date him but only if he took it slowly, if he didn't rush me."

"And why would you do that Jim? Hm? Why?"

"Because I forgave him for the Pon-Farr and because... because I think, no I know that I am falling in love with him, I think I have been falling for a while."

McCoy sits back down shocked at Jim's pronouncement, he reaches for a bottle of Jack before realising that they are still in a red alert and moving his hand away.

"I tell you one thing kid, being friends with you sure ain't boring."

Jim smiles and McCoy smiles back.

"You promise not to rip him arms off?"

"Only if he promises not to hurt you again. If he does, there's nothing that will be able to protect him from me."

Jim laughs.

"You are such a southern father, all you need is the shotgun and you'd be a stereotype."

McCoy smirks and Jim laughs again.

"Like I need a shotgun? I've got much better ways of killing someone and a lot leave no trace."

They are disturbed by the first casualty coming in although both are surprised as they have felt no shock-waves from any explosions nor have they felt the phasers being fired. McCoy gets up out of his seat and clasps Jim on the shoulder, he tells Jim he can stay in his office for as long as he wants before he leaves to go deal with his patient. Jim is not in the office long when a message is piped down to him asking him to report to the bridge, Jim looks confused as he isn't supposed to be involved with any red alert type situations at least for the next few days until McCoy signs him off for full duty. Jim heads to up to the bridge where he is met by Spock who explains the situation.

"What's going on Spock?"

"Captain, we have intercepted two Klingon war-birds on their way to Earth, they both state that they are on a peaceful mission and that they are here to speak to our Federation Council, they have an agreement that has already been signed by the Klingon council but they will not show it to us unless they can speak with you first. They are willing to speak only with you because they believe that you were the only one to defeat the Narada and so they believe you to be a great warrior."

_/Why does no one ever believe that it was group effort? I told the reporters that and they still put me as the hero captain./_

_/I believe Jim that it is because you are so photogenic and as the captain all decisions are only agreed by you./_

Jim manages to keep the surprise off of his face but he knows that Spock felt it especially when he feels Spock's amusement coming through their bond.

_/What do you think I should do?/_

_/Whatever you believe to be the right course./_

A year ago, hell six months ago Jim would have not hesitated to blow them out of space because he always believed that the Klingon's were behind his fathers death. Jim nods his head and then takes his seat in his command chair, he feels Spock move to stand behind him as a show of strength. Coming to a decision Jim sits up straight in his chair and then looks at Uhura, who has been watching both man carefully with one eye whilst also keeping the other on what the Klingon's are doing.

"On screen Lieutenant."

The view screen changes from an image of two war-birds to an image of what Jim would guess is a relatively young Klingon.

"I am Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise."

"Greetings Captain Kirk I am High Councillor Gorkon of the Klingon council, I have been sent as an emissary to your council to open up talks between our two empires. I would prefer to speak in private, I do not mind beaming over to your ship."

"That is good news and you would be welcome aboard but if you are truly here for peaceful talks why do you need two war-birds?"

"The other ship is here for my protection, we did not think that our journey would be peaceful, if you wish the second ship can be sent back to Kronos if that would put you more at ease."

Jim starts to feel more and more suspicious and he can feel Spock is too.

"You are being very accommodating to our wishes."

"We have our reasons none of which we would want to discuss over subspace."

Jim nods his head as though agreeing but he is already coming up with a plan.

"Al-right, send away your second ship we will make sure that you get to Earth safely but there are a few things I would like to happen before we start our journey back. First you need you drop your shields and allow a security group beam over to check out your ship, and second you and only you will beam aboard this ship and your ship will keep it's shields down."

The Klingon becomes visually enraged.

"How dare you _**you dishonourable slime**_, how are we supposed to protect ourselves?"

"I don't see a reason why you would need to, if we come upon a threat then you may raise your shields but that is unlikely as we are in the midst of Federation space and you are being escorted by the flagship. These measures are here for the safety of my crew and planet, I am sure that if we approached your home world you would give us the same ultimatum or you would blow us out of the sky. If you are truly here for peace then you should have nothing to hide and we will be able to go on our way. If however this is all just a ruse then we will have no choice but to stop you from reaching your destination."

The Klingon smiles showing most if not all of his ferocious teeth.

"Very well Captain Kirk you have a deal."

The Klingon turns to someone just off screen and says something in Klingon that Jim cant quite hear, he looks over at Nyota who is trained to hear everything and feels relief when she nods at him, they are doing what they said they would. Chekov who has been watching the Klingon war-birds on his screen tells Jim that the second one has just gone into warp and is heading out of federation space. Sulu indicates that their shields have dropped as well. Gorkon looks back at Jim.

"It is done captain Kirk as I am sure you are already aware."

"Then you will be beamed over."

Jim gets up from his seat.

"However captain, I will need one assistant with me, if that would be permissible."

"I'm sorry, but until I've heard this proposal and my crew have had a chance to give your ship a look over only you will be allowed to beam over."

"Very well."

"You will be beamed over in one hour."

Gorkon nods.

"Uhura cut the connection. Spock order a engineering and security team to meet me in transporter room one in an hour, you have the conn.""

Jim exits the bridge and enters his ready room. He asks Uhura to put in a call to command and it is not long before it is answered by a very sleepy looking Chris Pike.

"It's three o'clock in the morning what is it?"

"Sorry Chris, but I have a Klingon war-bird sitting just off of my port side."

"So? Blow it out of the sky."

"I would but they want a meeting with the federation council to open peace talks between us."

"Are you sure they are legit?"

"They seem to be, maybe we should ask Syrek, if anyone would know it would be him."

Chris yawns.

"Hang on I'll go get him."

A few minutes later he is back with Syrek.

"Hello old friend."

"Hey Syrek, I need to ask you if you have ever heard of a Klingon Councillor called Gorkon."

At the look of surprise on Syrek's face, Jim can guess that he has.

"I take that as a yes then?""

"Indeed, he helped to create an alliance with the federation after Kronos' moon was destroyed. If he is the one who has approached you with an offer of peace it may well be truthful."

The three men speak for the next hour about about what effect the alliance had on the federation and how it changed it for the better, Syrek is quick to point out that there are people on both sides who will not want an alliance with the other side and so may attempt to stop them.

"Be careful Jim."

"I will Syrek, I'll see you in a couple of weeks if you are still on Earth."

"I have no plans to leave Earth as of yet so I will indeed still be on planet."

"Al-right then, I'll see you Syrek. Chris, I'll let you know how it is going in a couple of hours and I'll make sure to have regular check ins."

"I'll have another ship on standby and I'll have a meeting arranged by the time you get here if the offer is legitimate."

Jim signs off from the comm unit and heads out into the bridge, Spock rises when Jim enters but Jim shakes his head.

"Mr Spock you still have the conn."

Jim goes to leave the bridge but is stopped by Spock. He pulls Jim gently into a corner and lowers his voice.

"Allow me to come with you. I do not trust him."

"I know Spock but I need you here on the bridge in case they try something."

"Jim please, Lieutenant Sulu can take care of them if something does go wrong, but if something happened to you and I was not there to stop it, I would not be able to forgive myself."

"Fine but don't do this again."

At Spock's nod Jim turns back to Sulu.

"Sulu you have the conn, if anything happens let me know immediately."

"Aye sir."

With that Jim and Spock enter the turbo-lift and head down to the transporter level.

"Don't ever do that again Spock, when we are on duty you follow my orders got it?"

"Yes Jim. I am sorry."

"You are always sorry."

Spock hangs his head in shame and Jim can feel his penitence fill their bond.

"Don't do that either, I know you are sorry. Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

Spock raises his head and nods, he then daringly brushes his fingers against Jim's.

"Not on duty, OK?"

Spock pulls his fingers away but not before Jim touches them with his own fingers Spock allows a hint of a smile to reach his face before his mask slips back into place. They reach the right floor and they both step out, Spock one step behind Jim. They make their way to the transporter room where there is already a team prepared to be beamed over. After a quick call to McCoy to let him know what was happening and briefing the team for what they are to look for and to report in every fifteen minutes, the team is beamed over to the war-bird and Gorkon is beamed aboard.

"Captain Kirk, it is an honour to meet you, your exploits have been shared far and wide they have even reached our home world, I am gratified that your ship is the one who has found us."

"This is my first officer Spock, If you would like to follow me we can talk somewhere a bit more private."

Jim leads Spock and Gorkon into a conference room where Gorkon explains why the Klingon empire wishes to start a dialogue now after so much conflict, the simple answer is because they are vulnerable after the attack on Rura Penthe by Nero. Nero had done a lot more damage than was first thought of, Rura Penthe was no longer inhabitable because of the chemicals Nero had used to attack them with. Out of 147 ships the total destroyed by Nero was 89. They were simply unable to keep up the fight on two sides and Romulus had taken advantage and was now invading Klingon territory, knowing that the federation had also lost ships it was thought that an alliance would perhaps be welcomed as it means that they would no longer have to defend their borders against each other.

After the meeting Gorkon is escorted by two members of security to a guest room and Jim and Spock speak again with Chris and Syrek. While they are talking Spock once again allows his fingers to touch Jim's under the table, hidden from view and this time Jim entwines his fingers with Spock's.

TBC

The next chapter will jump a head to the first week of shore-leave, and there will be more jumps in the future in order to move Jim's pregnancy along.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

A/N: This chapter totally ended in a different place then I was expecting it to. I hope you enjoy and please review. I love reviews.

The last two weeks on board the Enterprise had been fairly uneventful, well as uneventful as having a Klingon on board can be. There had been a few incidents where people who had lost family to attacks by the Klingons had made their voices heard but Gorkon had taken it quite well, for a Klingon he was quite laid back and so disputes were settled quite easily and quickly. Jim was surprised to find that Gorkon was extremely interested in Shakespeare and he had a habit of quoting the great bard every few minutes, he also played a mean game of chess once shown how to play, he agreed that it was an effective means of testing tactical knowledge and strategy, out five games Spock and Gorkon played, Gorkon won three times which was quite a shock to Spock's system however when Jim played Gorkon, Gorkon didn't win a single match because Jim was too unpredictable whereas Spock was. So all in all it was a good two weeks, the crew felt much more relaxed when the USS Excelsior joined them a week from Earth. The War-bird had also behaved well and Jim's crew had come back unscathed from the away mission, they had found nothing that would be considered a threat to the federation council on board. Although they had not caused any trouble Jim was still happy to see the Klingons be handed over to the federation security team when they reached Earth.

Spock... Spock hadn't once left Jim's side whilst Gorkon was on board which he was both grateful for and a little annoyed by. Spock had explained to Jim that he would not be able to leave Jim's side whilst he perceived there to be a threat around his mate and unborn child. He had also came to one of Jim's prenatal scans and Jim could feel his joy at being able to see his unborn child for the first time, during the scan Spock's hand never left Jim's, McCoy saw it but he didn't comment on it, at least not in front of Spock which Jim is also grateful for. The pregnancy was progressing along nicely, he was now 13 weeks along and would probably have another 20 to 25 weeks left depending on if the baby goes into distress and whether Jim's body would be up to the strain. There were no problems with the foetus, no birth defects that McCoy could spot at this moment although he will still check just to be on the safe side. McCoy will do another scan when Jim gets to Georgia and will start to do the scans every two weeks from now on.

Jim was also persuaded by Spock to move back into his old quarters with the caveat that Spock would not enter unless there was an absolute emergency, which Spock had agreed to instantly and true to his word Spock had not entered Jim's domicile. They had also started playing chess in one of the rec rooms which had caused quite a few members of the crew to stare but Spock behaved admirably as always although Jim could feel that it was getting to Spock that the rest of the crew did not trust him with the Captain, it was obvious that they didn't because there was always someone in the rec room with them no matter what time of night it was that the game had finished and they would also always have an excuse to follow them back to Jim's quarters where they would watch the two men separate and head into their quarters.

Jim is interrupted from memories of the last two weeks when Spock knocks at the door, Jim knows its Spock because he can feel him. Jim opens the door and watches as Spock quickly checks Jim out. Jim realises that he is only half dressed, he can feel as Spock struggles to contain and suppress his arousal.

"Hand on a minute Spock, I'll just finish getting dressed."

Spock nods and stands back so the door can shut but Jim indicates he can stand inside the room, Spock cautiously enters the room and stands by the door to keep Jim from being unnerved even though Jim is the one who invited him in. Jim grabs his change of clothes and heads into the bathroom to get changed. A few minutes later he comes out to see Spock is standing by his bookcase.

"You have an interesting collection of books, I have never seen such a good collection outside of a library."

"Thanks, after I started at star-fleet Pike made me take up a new hobby to stop me drinking so I started collecting books. I'm ready to go."

Spock quickly checks Jim out again and blushes as he realises Jim has caught him.

"We are the last to beam down."

"I know, c'mon Chris is waiting for us."

Jim grabs his bag and Spock follows him out of the room and down to the transporter. They wave good bye to Scotty who is staying on board with the re-fit crew. Spock brushes his fingers against Jim's just as they feel the beam take them down to the planet. They are greeted by Chris and Syrek, Syrek and Spock leave Chris and Jim to go to the debriefing and head to Chris' place of residence where Syrek is staying. Spock feels slightly uncomfortable being with his counterpart but he puts it to one side, he hopes that Syrek (who knows more about James Kirk than anyone) can give him some tips to making a relationship with Jim work. Spock feels a wave of anger come from Jim so powerful that it stops Spock from walking.

"What is wrong youngling?"

"Jim is angry, command are talking about taking some of his crew away and putting them on other ships."

"Do you know whom they wish to move?"

"I do not."

Spock carries on walking when Jim starts to calm down. The two Vulcans walk in silence for a few minutes until Syrek decides that he is going to have to be the one who broaches the subject that both are thinking about; Jim.

"How are things progressing with you and James?"

"Why do you call him James to me?"

"Because he is not my Jim he is yours."

They reach Chris' house and Syrek enters the code and they enter the house.

"Indeed, things are progressing well between us, we have spent more time in the last two weeks than I have spent with him in the whole mission. He invited me into his quarters this morning before we beamed down. It is another step towards the eventual goal of living with Jim."

"That is good."

They move to the living room and sit down. Syrek asks if Spock would like a drink but Spock declines.

"How did you seduce your Jim?"

Syrek allows a hint of a smile to cross his face at the blunt question, he is glad to hear that the two are finally moving forward in their relationship.

"When I first realised that he was my T'hy'la I decided to get to know him, Jim was a well known ladies man and I did not wish to push him into a sexual relationship. So I began with chess and meals together and then I began to allow him to see the real me rather than the Vulcan façade that everyone else saw. It all came to a head when my Pon-Farr arrived, we arrived at the appointed place where my wife announced the kal-if-fee and choose to appoint Jim as her challenger. I fought Jim and believed that I killed him however due to McCoy's brilliance Jim was alive. I thought that due to the fight and the pain of losing my T'hy'la my Pon-Farr would be over but after our mission to Altair VI it came back fortunately Jim came to me and we were together until I went to Gol but I came back when I realised that I could not live without him. I suggest that if you decide to go through with a relationship with Jim then do not pursue with the Kolinahr. Your Jim would not deal with that, mine barely coped, yours would break."

Spock looks shocked both at the admission and at the raw pain so obvious in Syrek's voice.

"I would not under go Kolinahr; it would be a disservice to both Jim and to mother's memory."

Syrek feels relief for Jim.

"Indeed."

"What is going on between you and Christopher?"

Syrek raises an eyebrow at the unexpected question.

"There is nothing between us. We are currently trying to reconfigure the star-ships to be more family friendly, using my knowledge from the future."

Spock raises his eyebrow.

"I thought that you were not going to interfere in the time line any more?"

"I was not going to but when I found out that James was pregnant I did not wish for him to be separated from his child which is what would happen under the current system. With the new ship designs that would not happen, the enterprise is the first ship to under go the changes. It was a logical decision."

Spock almost snorts in response to Syrek's _logic, _Spock is momentarily distracted when he feels a wave of relief coming from Jim and is surprised when Jim sends him a quick message through their bond to tell him that both Jim and Chris are going to be a while as the idiots at command want to go over everything fifty thousand times, Spock doubts that they amount is that high but he saw how many times things had to be repeated after the Nero incident so he couldn't be sure. Spock with great reluctance turns his attentions back to his counterpart.

"What do the changes entail?"

"The main part of the ship will be able to separate from the hull and act as a life craft whilst the rest of the ship will stay behind and fight off the threat, the main section will have an inbuilt warp drive and there will be emergency protocols built in such as setting off into warp once the ship has separated."

"That is good news, when will we receive this change?"

"If the idea is excepted before the ship leaves then it will be implemented and your crew will have an extended leave. What is the reason for your current refit? Christopher has not explained"

"We are getting the hardware updated and the science labs and sickbay are being upgraded."

"What will you be doing for your shore-leave?"

"I will be spending the first week with Jim and the remainder with our father, he has indicated that he wishes to repair our relationship, i am anxious for this as well especially as he is to become a grandfather in less than half a year."

"How is Jim dealing with the pregnancy?"

"He is doing well, our daughter is growing well."

"That is most pleasing to hear."

"Indeed."

The two Vulcans sit in silence for a few hours, Spock slips into a slight meditative state, it has been easier to do ever since Jim gave his consent for a relationship. He receives another message from Jim and he relays it to Syrek.

"Jim and Admiral Pike are on their way back from their meeting they will be here shortly."

"Indeed."

The two fall back into a silence which feels more deafening than anything and slightly suffocating. They are unsurprised when they hear the door open a few minutes later and Jim and Chris enter the room. Spock instantly gives up his seat for Jim, even though there are more than enough for the four of them. Jim sits down in Spock's seat and gives Spock a warm tired smile, Jim looks exhausted, Spock almost smiles back but restrains himself when he sees Jim's pseudo father glaring at him, Spock glares back but eventually capitulates and sits down on a seat as far from Jim as can whilst still being in the same room. Jim doesn't notice the silent fight going on between Spock and Chris nor Spock's defeat as he has fallen asleep. Spock wants to move to sit next to Jim but keeps back at Chris' warning glance.

"What happened at the meeting?"

Chris turns to look at Syrek and gives him a small smile.

"Command doesn't have enough officers for the amount of ships it has so they were going to take some from the enterprise like Nyota Uhura and Leonard McCoy but Jim kicked up a storm, you should have seen him, and then of course they asked me what I think and I told them that they already know what I think about how they can keep the quota up and how to even increase the amount of people who reapply back into star-fleet and so they gave up on taking his crew away. The idea has been given the go ahead so the enterprise is going to be re-fitted whilst it is still in space dock. Command have had to add a couple more weeks onto their shore-leave to make it work but I doubt any of the crew are going to mind. They're probably going to give Jim a commendation for his work with councillor Gorkon, the first indications appear to be that the treaty is extremely beneficial to the federation."

"Indeed. That is most pleasing news."

Chris runs his hand through Jim's hair gently so as not to wake him up. Spock's eyes darken and he begins to emit a low warning growl that only Syrek can hear.

"Yeah it is, would you do me a favour and carry Jim upstairs, I don't think that the chair is good enough for his circulation."

"I would however his mate might see it as a challenge on his claim to Jim."

Chris glances at Spock and then glares when he sees Spock is glaring at him.

"Jim may have forgiven you for what you did but I haven't and I wont allow you to hurt him."

"I would not hurt my T'hy'la. He is too precious to me. If Jim has forgiven me for my past actions why cannot you?"

Chris turns back to look at Jim who is sleeping unawares.

"Because this kid forgives far to easily and I wont let you be another person who he has forgiven only to have you hurt him again."

Spock moves from where he is sitting to kneel down by Jim, he raises his fingers to Jim's meld points and allows all of his love to enter Jim's mind, Jim smiles in his sleep and leans into his touch. Chris watches this with suspicious eyes which soften slightly when Spock turns to Chris still on his knees.

"I Spock cha' Sarek of the House of Surak give my solemn pledge to never harm James Tiberius Kirk my T'hy'la again. If this pledge is broken I hereby give permission for Admiral Christopher Pike to do with me as he will, whether it be to take my hands or my life it will be his will alone that chooses. It is pledged in witness of Elder Syrek of the House of Surak."

Spock hangs his head willing for Chris to understand the offer he has just given. Chris understands straight away, he knows the importance of a Vulcan's hands and their uses, he also knows that for a Vulcan to lose their hands it is worse than death. Chris pulls his hand away from Jim.

"I understand your pledge and I agree to it, you may take Jim upstairs but you will not share a room with him."

Spock nods and raises his head and stands, he turns back to Jim and carefully picks up his mate and takes Jim upstairs where he is met by Chris who has used the indoor lift to get to the next floor, Chris shows Spock Jim's room and Spock takes Jim in. Spock gently lays Jim down on the bed and then tucks him in under the watchful eye of Chris. Once sure that Jim is still sleeping peacefully he brushes his fingers across Jim's meld points in a Vulcan version kiss good night and then exits the room.

"You really care about him don't you?"

"I am in love with him."

"I still don't like you but I doubt that will change any time soon, you really angered me Spock."

"I am aware."

"Good, your room is next door but if you enter Jim's room tonight you'll be out on your ear. Got it?"

"Indeed. I will keep to my room."

"Good. Night Spock."

"Good night Admiral."

Spock enters his room to find his bag had already been brought up and sets about his night time ritual, he meditates for an hour and then he gets ready for bed. Spock allows himself to feel everything through the bond and after reassuring himself that his mate is still sleeping he drifts off himself.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Jim wakes the next morning to a knock at the door, he cant remember going to bed and so he lies there confused until there is another knock at the door.

"Come in."

The door opens and Spock walks in the room, he is carrying a tray laden with food. Jim sits up in the bed and is amazed when he sees what food is on the tray; there is all his favourites, pancakes, fruit, yoghurts and milk.

"What is this?"

"It is breakfast, is it not usual to bring your partner breakfast in bed?"

Jim smiles suggestively and Spock blushes.

"Yeah Spock but normally they have spent the night."

Spock raises his eyebrow.

"I stayed in the room next door."

Jim shakes his head good naturedly.

"Spock that's not what I meant, it's usually for after you stayed in the same room and had sex."

_How I wish that was what we had done. _Jim looks at Spock, he heard what Spock thought but he chooses not to say anything, he knows how Spock feels about him. Spock realises that Jim heard him and blushes again.

"Indeed. I apologise. Do wish to eat it downstairs?"

"No it's fine, did you cook this yourself?"

"I did indeed, unfortunately Admiral Pike's replicator is broken."

Jim smiles, it's thoughtful of Spock to bring his breakfast in bed.

"How did I get up here?"

Jim starts to eat his breakfast.

"I carried you after you fell asleep on the chair downstairs."

"Oh. Thank you. I bet Pike didn't like it."

"He did not approve no. However my counterpart managed to persuade him to allow me to carry you."

Jim stops eating and looks up at Spock.

"Don't worry Spock he is just trying to protect me, he'll come around at some point, you just have show him that you are not going to hurt me."

Jim looks back at his food and continues to eat.

"I gave him a pledge, he has the right to do with me what he wishes including taking my hands or my life if I ever hurt you."

Jim looks up horrified.

"Spock how could you offer that?"

"I wished to show him that I am serious about not hurting you."

"What about your Pon-Farr? The healer said that you wont go through it again is that true?"

"You do not have to worry about Pon-Farr Jim."

Jim's bullshit monitor goes off, he knows that there is something that Spock is not saying.

"Spock will you ever go through Pon-Farr again?"

Spock goes green, he really doesn't want to talk about this, it is far to embarrassing. He turns away from Jim.

"Spock, answer the question."

"You do not have to worry about that Jim."

Jim gets pissed off, he's fed up of Spock avoiding the question.

"SPOCK. Answer the damn question."

Spock turns back and looks at his mate.

"Yes Jim I will go through Pon-Farr again but not for another seven years if my cycle is similar to other Vulcan's."

"Do you think we wont be together in seven years? Or do you think I wont go through it with you?"

"Would you go through it with me?"

"I don't know Spock but you haven't said why I wont have to worry Spock."

"If you would go through it with me you would not have to worry because we would have seven years to prepare but if you decided that you did not wish to go through it with me then I would leave you to go to a healer and hope that they can help me through it."

Jim looks away.

"What happens if they cant help you through it?"

"Then I will die."

"Spock..."

"I will leave you to your meal, I will see you downstairs."

Spock leaves the room and Jim feels sad for Spock, he knows he is going to have to think long and hard about this relationship because he doesn't want to have to go through Pon-Farr again. Jim finishes his breakfast and gets out of bed he takes a quick shower and gets dressed. He picks up the tray and takes it downstairs. He can see that Spock and Syrek are talking in the living room and he heads into the kitchen where Chris is sitting.

"Hey Chris. Hows it going?"

"Jim you are far too chipper in the morning."

Jim grins.

"Aren't you a little ball of sunshine in the morning?"

"Why are you so happy anyway?"

"Wouldn't you be if someone brought you breakfast in bed?"

Chris looks confused.

"Who did that?"

"Spock, who else?"

Chris frowns.

"I told him not to go in your room."

"Chris, I've forgiven him for what he did. I've told you that I've forgiven him. Don't continue to punish him. I've felt what he felt during the Pon-Farr, I can feel what he feels when he looks at me. He wasn't in control, and he loves me, he really loves me, I can feel it."

Chris sighs. He looks at Jim and he can see what a change there has been since he last saw him, Jim is obviously happy now, as opposed to shaking every time he's seen Spock.

"I hope you are not rushing into this relationship."

"I'm not, we haven't had sex since the Pon-Farr. We still live in separate quarters."

"That's good. Jim, I'm just looking out for you."

"Yeah I know, and I'm really grateful. You and bones have been really great. I'm glad I've been able to rely on you."

"And you always will be able to kid. I'm here for you when ever you need me. Don't ever forget that."

Jim smiles and so does Chris.

"I will, thanks old man."

Jim makes sure to put emphasis on the old man part.

"You're not to old to be spanked you know."

Jim grins saucily.

"God I hope I'm not."

Chris grins and shakes his head and Jim leaves the kitchen and goes into the living room to talk to Syrek and Spock. Both vulcans stand when Jim enters the room and stay standing until Jim sits down, Jim grins at them. Spock sits down next to Jim on the sofa and allows his fingers to entwine with Jim's.

"So what are you two planning for the day?"

"I will be meditating and then I will be heading to star-fleet command to go over the design specifications for the enterprise's new refit."

"That sounds like a lot of fun."

"Indeed."

"What about you Spock? What will you be doing?"

"I would like to spend the day with you if possible Jim."

Jim smiles warmly at Spock and Spock almost smiles back, he instead sends Jim a wave of love across their bond, it's so strong that Jim gasps. Syrek watches the two interact with great pleasure, he is immensely relieved to see them act so normal and loving towards the other.

"What did you want to do?"

"I thought that we could go shopping for some new outfits as I overheard you complaining to Dr McCoy that nothing fits any more."

Jim smiles again and Spock brushes his fingers against Jim's meld points. They are so wrapped up in each other that they completely forget that Syrek is in the room and they don't even notice when Chris enters. Syrek watches the two lovebirds move closer. It is only when Chris coughs that they break away before they kiss, Jim is embarrassed and he leaves the room, Spock follows after giving Chris a glare. Jim is stood just outside the living room and Spock goes to him straight away. Spock moves into Jim's personal space and then brings their lips together, he moves a hand to Jim's waist and the other to the back of Jim's neck, he only pulls away when he realises that his mate needs air although he makes sure not to pull too far from Jim. Spock lifts Jim's shirt slightly and allows his thumb to rub the bare skin of Jim's waist. Arousal comes through his touch both ways and it is a heady feeling to know that this is what Jim wants as well. He again kisses Jim but this time it is more needy and he allows his body to show his arousal so that he can brush it up against Jim's thigh, he is overwhelmed when he feels Jim's answering arousal and moves his hand to Jim's in order to pull him up the stairs and to the nearest bed. He slowly makes his way up the stairs, kissing Jim's lips at every chance he gets before Jim pulls away slowly.

"I thought you wanted to go out?"

"I do T'hy'la however I would also like to continue this activity as well."

Spock leans in and they kiss again.

"Would you like us to continue?"

Jim looks into Spock's eyes he can see the lust and the arousal but he can also see the overpowering sense of total love and he realises that yes he can do this with Spock, he can continue heading in this direction.

"OK."

They finish making their way upstairs and they enter Spock's room, Spock gently lays Jim down onto the bed before going to his bag and removing a small bottle of oil. He goes back over to Jim and places himself in between his beautiful mates thighs, they continue to kiss, Spock is taking it slow so as not to scare or pressurise Jim into doing something that he is not comfortable with. Spock hears Chris and Syrek leave the house, they arguing about leaving them on their own, their _discussion_ (Vulcan's don't argue) is cut off by the door closing behind them, leaving Jim and Spock in the house alone.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

A/N: A bit of fluff for everyone to enjoy, I hope!

**One Week Later**

Spock awakens on their final morning together to find his mate still in his arms, Jim is wrapped around him and his head is in the hollow of Spock's neck, his breathing is deep and restful and it is tickling Spock's skin every time he breathes. Spock allows a smile to cross his face, he cant believe how much things have changed between him and Jim and he is gratified by it. A quick check of his internal chronometer tells him that it is 08:13, he wonders whether Jim will want breakfast in bed again especially as this time is following a night of multiple rounds of coitus. He wonders when his counterpart and Admiral Pike got back as both Jim and he were awake at three o'clock and he hadn't heard them get in before then' although it is quite possible that he did not hear them as he was quite distracted by the sounds made by his mate. After 6.08 minutes he decides that he will bring Jim breakfast in bed but as he goes to pull away Jim moves closer and buries his head deeper in Spock's neck. Spock can feel that Jim is still asleep but he decides to stay anyway as he does not wish for his mate to waken alone, so Spock pulls Jim closer and closes his eyes; it is not as though he has to get up any time soon anyway, he could spend the whole day in bed with Jim and it wouldn't matter, actually Spock thinks that it is a great idea, to spend another whole day and night in bed with Jim. He watches as Jim moves again, this time away from him and watches as Jim opens his eyes.

"You think too loud, did you know that?"

"I apologise Jim."

"Don't. It's nice to wake up in your arms. I think we should do this more often."

"I agree. I believe that it would make a good start to the day."

Jim smiles and moves in closer. Spock runs his hand through Jim's hair revelling in the feel of his T'hy'la, knowing that no matter how long they are together he will always feel this way about him, he turns his head slightly and kisses Jim on the forehead. Spock brings his hand down from Jim's head to his stomach and lets it rest over where the implanted uterus is positioned. He can feel the brushing of a tiny presence against his shields and so he lowers them allowing the presence to enter his mind and be projected across the bond. Jim gasps and sits straight up when he feels his daughters mind through the bond, he smiles at Spock when he realises why he can feel her.

"Thank you."

Spock leans forwards and brushes his lips against Jim's ever so gently. Jim lies back down with his head on Spock's chest and closes his eyes.

"Jim?"

"Yes Spock?"

"I know I have asked before, I also know and understand why you chose to respond in the way you did but... when did you realise you were pregnant? What went through your mind?"

Jim lifts himself up again to look into Spock's eyes.

"I'm sorry for what I said Spock. For how I answered you."

"You need not apologise Jim, it was not your fault. I was the cause of your suffering, I do not blame you for how you reacted. I apologise for my actions, for hurting you and then pressuring you into a relationship, I know that I should have rebuilt your trust first. I can never apologise enough for what I did and I will not ever forgive myself for the pain I caused you."

"Spock I forgave you for what happened, it's about time that you forgave yourself. Don't keep bringing up the past, we have moved on from it. We cant change the past but we can change the future, you shouldn't have to keep blaming yourself and punishing yourself, yes maybe the relationship moved a bit fast but I can feel how much you love me and I know that you will never leave me. Please forgive yourself so we can be a family."

Spock's heart swells with so much love and affection that he cannot keep it contained.

"You smiled."

Jim grins and Spock smiles again.

"Indeed Jim, I believe I am beginning to see the merits in showing my emotions however you will only ever be the witness."

Jim gives Spock a light kiss on the lips but pulls away before it can deepen.

"Meld us Spock, I want to show you how and when I found out I was pregnant, it was McCoy who realised it, I just thought that it was stress. Spock don't feel upset about what you see, I don't feel that way any more I promise."

Spock nods, bracing himself for the onslaught of hurtful emotions and diatribe against his character, and raises his hand to Jim's psi points and brings them into a meld.

_Jim directs the meld with a greater level of competency than Spock was expecting, Spock feels Jim's amusement come across the bond. Jim moves the meld to the memory of his choice, in the memory Jim is sat in a corner in the mess hall on his own with a bowl of fruit in front of him, it is quite obvious that it is very late at night. McCoy enters the mess hall and heads straight over to Jim once he has checked to make sure that no one else is around before approaching Jim. The meld Jim slips his hand into Spock's and squeezes._

_/Hey Jim, what are still doing up? I thought you would be in our quarters sleeping, especially as you couldn't stay awake on the bridge, every one has noticed how tired you are. You should have come to me kid, I'd give you something so you can get some rest without having nightmares, I know you don't want to be alone kid, but I have to work./_

_The memory Jim bursts into tears and McCoy pulls him into a hug and holds him tight, while Jim continues to sob in his arms._

_/I don't know what's wrong with me, I cant sleep, I cant eat properly, I feel sick all the time, I don't want to get up in the morning, most days I don't want to leave our quarters. And I keep crying all the damn time./_

_/I've noticed some of this Jim, I can see that you are depressed, it's why I came to talk to you but you should have told me Jim. You can come to me about anything, your health is my biggest priority on this ship as you are both my best friend and my captain. I will always be here for you, now come on, lets go to sickbay and I can see what I can do about your symptoms, I know that I cant deal with the cause, only your therapist can deal with at the moment./_

_Jim continues to cry and McCoy leads him slowly out of the mess hall, there are barely any crew around at this time of night and all the crew have somehow find out about what Spock did to Jim. They were all set firmly behind Jim and if any of them saw Jim in this state they would understand and not comment. They manage to get all the way to sickbay without any one seeing them and McCoy leads Jim into his private room. Jim sits down on the bed and McCoy exits the room after squeezing Jim's shoulder, he comes back in with a glass of water and some tissue, Jim gulps the water down and uses the tissue to wipe his eyes and blow his nose. McCoy motions for Jim to lie down and Jim complies. McCoy pulls out his tricorder and runs it over Jim, he looks confused by the results and reconfigures the tricorder and runs it over Jim again. Jim begins to get scared at the way McCoy is acting._

_/Bones what's wrong?/_

_/Jim hang on a minute, I know you're worried but don't be, I've just got to check your results against some others. Just to make sure, I'll be back in a minute, don't worry./_

_McCoy leaves Jim alone for a minute, Jim sits up, he starts getting anxious, something is obviously wrong but he doesn't know what. Before he can start pacing McCoy comes back in. Jim stands up but is terrified when McCoy makes him sit back down._

_/What is it? What is wrong with me?/_

_/Jim I er... I don't know quite how to tell you this but you're erm.. you're well your pregnant and Spock is the father./_

_Jim looks shocked._

_/But... but.../_

_Then Jim remembers how he can be pregnant and he throws up, fortunately McCoy gets him a bowl in time and he heaves into the bowl. Jim tells McCoy everything about tarsus that he didn't know before, specifically about the the genetic experiments that Kodos had allowed. At this point Spock, who had been silent, turns to Jim._

_/How long has Dr McCoy known about Tarsus?/_

_Jim uses the hand that is not entwined with Spock's hand to stroke Spock's face._

_/He found out after I woke screaming in terror after the mid term exam on the colony in our first year, I think that's when we became such close friends, when he decided that he was gonna be a father figure to me. He had to sedate me but not before he found out about the starvation and watching my friends and family die, he was the first person I spoke to about it, you were the second./_

_Both men turn back and watch as the scene before them finishes playing out, with McCoy's ever increasing anger at Spock and his compassion for Jim causing his voice to raise, they watch as Jim tells McCoy that it did not matter who the father was he was going to keep the baby and raise it himself, he finally convinces McCoy that it will be the best thing for him as it will give him a reason to continue on. It is obviously upsetting McCoy as Jim speaks about how he wont allow the same thing to happen to the child as what happened to him, he was going to give it all the love he possesses and his child was always going to know that it was loved. McCoy gives Jim another hug and tells him that what ever his choice he'll stand behind him. After quite a few insults about Spock from the two of them, McCoy decides to ask a very important question._

_/Do you want to know the sex?/_

_Jim grins._

_/Yes of course I do./_

_/If all goes well, you'll have a beautiful girl in about six months./_

_/How far along am I?/_

_/You're two months but I don't think that you will go to full term, one reason is because you are male and the other is because the baby is part Vulcan. So I'll have to do some reading up and you are going to have to eat healthily, it's not just you that you have to worry about any more./_

_/I already eat healthily, I haven't touched meat in weeks, I guess this is why, Vulcan's cant process meat. Oh well it could be worse./_

_Spock looks at Jim with so much affection that it almost hurts for Jim to look at him._

_/I love you T'hy'la. I always will./_

_Jim smiles._

_/I love you too Spock./_

_The meld Jim pulls Spock away from the memory and Spock breaks the meld._

When Jim opens his eyes he see that there are tears in Spock's eyes, he strokes Spock's cheek and then gently kisses Spock's lips, they start to deepen the kiss but are interrupted when Spock hears Jim's stomach rumble.

"We have been in the meld for 2.67 hours, I believe that it is time for breakfast, would you prefer it in bed or would you like to get up?"

Jim grins.

"I think we should get up after all I'm going to see bones today and you're going to stay with your father. Will it be okay for us to be so far apart? What with the bond I mean?"

"The bond has settled and so we will be able to separate however I do not believe that we should spend too much time apart as I do not know what the consequences could be."

Jim grins again and gets out of bed, they both get dressed and go downstairs where they are greeted by Syrek and Chris. They spend the morning talking to them and Jim finally finds out why Syrek chose that as his name; it turns out that it is an amalgamation of the names of both his brother and father who had both died a long time ago in his universe.

The morning seems to fly by and it is not long before Jim is heading to Georgia on his own although with modern technology ad the use of a star ship in orbit it only takes one call to Scotty on the enterprise before he is beamed to the hotel where McCoy is staying. The door to the hotel opens and Jim goes in, he finds out that McCoy has gotten them a twin room for them to share so Jim wouldn't have to be alone.

Meanwhile still in San Francisco Spock arrives at the Vulcan embassy and is greeted by his clan mother T'Pau and his father who have taken the opportunity to spend more time with the only heir to the house of Surak; Spock. Sarek has also decided that he wishes to bury the hatchet with Spock once and for all as it is obvious that he is not dealing with Amanda's death at all.

TBC

A/N: Some more angst ahead, I have no idea how many chapters are left. I hope you enjoyed, please review.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

A/N: This is again a two parter, I know Jocelyn is a bit of bitch in this chapter but then I think if she can take 'the whole damn planet in the divorce' than I think she would be.

Jim is greeted at the door to his room by a rather mellow McCoy and his young daughter Joanna. Jim drops his bag and picks Joanna up and spins her around causing her to giggle uncontrollably, they hug and then she runs back to her daddy who gives her the biggest smile that Jim has ever seen on McCoy's face.

"How are you Jim?"

"I'm good."

"You look it. How was your first week of shore-leave? Was it too much to spend it with Spock?"

Jim flashes him a grin.

"No it was great, Spock was really nice. He bought me flowers and took me out to dinner, it was really nice. Chris and Syrek were great obviously. They have come up with a new design for the enterprise so that families can be taken on board which is awesome. I can stay on the ship as the captain and raise my daughter. It also means that we are getting another two weeks shore-leave, I've sent everyone a message letting them know."

McCoy gives Jim a hug and Jim dumps his bag by the end of one of the beds.

"How was your week? Been up to anything good?"

McCoy smiles and picks up his daughter.

"This week has been awesome and I'm looking forward to having another two weeks with my baby girl."

Joanna giggles again and both men watch she curls into her father, the smile on her face could re-ignite the sun, both men grin.

"We went to the zoo and saw all the animals, and we went to see the aquarium. She's really into animals at the moment."

Joanna nods her head at this and both men smile again. Jim watches the scene before him and cant wait until he can hold his daughter in his arms, he subconsciously rubs his stomach just over the place of where his daughter is growing inside of him. McCoy smiles when he watches Jim. Jim has gained weight in the last week and looks better than he has since before Spock's Pon-Farr. He can see how happy Jim is and he knows why; pike has being telling him everything that has been happening as neither trust Spock. McCoy sits down next to Jim on the bed. Joanna has fallen asleep in McCoy's arms so he makes sure not to let her go. His heart feels so full at having his daughter in his arms and is dreading the day that he has to go back into space and be parted from her again, he is glad that it wont happen to Jim. He looks at his best friend who is also showing signs of fatigue.

"Jim, you al-right? You look tired."

"Yeah, I've got a small headache that's all."

"Do you want something for it?"

"Nah I'm al-right. I think it's because I stayed up late last night."

"Al-right but let me know if it gets worse which it will as Jocelyn is joining us for lunch."

Jim looks surprised.

"I thought she was going to let you be alone with Joanna for the two weeks without interfering?"

"She was supposed to but..."

McCoy checks to make sure that Joanna is actually asleep before continuing.

"That witch has decided that she doesn't want to play fair. I don't want to give her any ammunition or she'll stop me from seeing Joanna for the remainder of my leave so I'll be good and you should be as well. She could cause us both problems considering as she is now dating Komack, I know he is no longer an admiral but he still has friends in high places, fortunately he is not coming with us to lunch."

"How could she date him? Even she should have better taste than that."

McCoy grins.

"I know but hey there's no accounting for taste."

There's a knock at the door so Jim gets up off the bed and answers the door, out in the hallway is Jocelyn. She brushes past Jim she doesn't even say hello, she immediately heads over to McCoy and Joanna. She strokes Joanna's hair and then looks at McCoy.

"Let's go because I've got a meeting in twenty-four hours on Andorra and we have to leave in an hour."

McCoy looks horrified.

"But I've got her for another week."

Jocelyn looks smug and not in the least bit sorry when she replies.

"I'm sorry but I'm not going to another planet without my daughter."

McCoy pulls Joanna a bit closer and kisses her forehead. Jim moves over to McCoy he puts a hand on McCoy's shoulder.

"You cant take her from me, we had an agreement that I would have her for the two weeks without any interference from you, you promised that we would have two weeks. I haven't seen her in six months, you didn't even bring her to my graduation."

"That doesn't make any difference Len I'm taking my daughter with me."

"You cant do that Jocelyn. I'm gonna get my lawyer on the phone. This is not fair she is my daughter too, I have a right to see her as well."

Jocelyn looks mad with rage.

"No she's not."

McCoy goes still, terror fills his heart and panic fills his mind.

"What do you mean she's not?"

"Exactly what I just said, she's not your daughter, now hand her back over and we'll leave."

McCoy clutches Joanna even closer, he doesn't want to parted from her.

"You cant just say something like that and then just leave."

Jocelyn glares at Jim

"This is none of your business _Captain Kirk_. Now hand over my daughter and you can forget about the meal I'm taking her with me now."

McCoy thinks long and hard before replying to Jocelyn, and then he stands up and glares at Jocelyn.

"No what we are gonna do is we are gonna head to the medical facilities in Atlantic City and we are gonna get a DNA test and then once that's done I'm gonna get my lawyer to sue for full access, I never fought on the access rights because I believed that Joanna deserved to know her mother but now I know that was a mistake and I do not want my daughter to turn into a miserable selfish bitch like you."

McCoy looks at Jim.

"Jim grab your bag, if Joanna is proved to be mine we will need to stay in San Francisco while we wait for it to go through Star fleets courts."

McCoy glares back at Jocelyn and then leaves the room and heads down to where Jocelyn has parked the air car and waits for the other two to arrive, he keeps pacing trying to work off his anger before Joanna wakes and sees. It's not long before he hears Jim and Jocelyn arriving he manages to catch the tail end of the conversation and hears Jocelyn call Jim a few rather nasty and disgusting words, he cant believe that he ever married someone who was so close minded and cruel as her, he is just grateful that Christine is nothing like her which is probably the reason why he was attracted to her in the first place. Jim is quiet when he heads over to McCoy, he wants to give Jim some comforting words but Joanna starts to waken in his arms and so he just smiles; it seems to work just as well as Jim looks more confident and at ease with himself. Jocelyn opens the car up and McCoy puts Joanna into the car seat in the back, Jim gets in beside her and she smiles at him, she looks very sweet as she is still half asleep. McCoy closes the door and gets in the front next to Jocelyn and they take off.

They head towards Atlantic City, the car is very quiet and tense, McCoy keeps throwing dark looks at Jocelyn, while Jim keeps trying to play games with Joanna, the road seems to stretch out before them for miles ahead. They are not driving long when something starts to go wrong with the engine, it begins to sputter and it suddenly stops working and they plummet from the sky and car crashes into a tree on the side of the road. There is no one around for miles and so no one sees it crash.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Spock was walking along the street, heading to the Vulcan embassy when he felt a twinge in his mind; it was Jim. He knew instantly that Jim was developing a migraine which surprised him, not that Jim had a migraine but that he could feel it although they were two thousand miles apart, Spock tried sending a wave of soothing feelings towards Jim and it seemed to have some effect. He would have to speak about this to his clan mother when he next saw her. T'Pau was a formidable Vulcan and Spock knew that Jim was terrified of her; he had not yet told Jim that she was his grandmother, he was quite illogically looking forward to the day when Jim finds out.

Spock was on his way to a meeting with his father, he was going to tell Sarek that Jim was pregnant, although Syrek knew that Jim was gestating he had promised not to tell their father as he believed that Spock should be the one to tell him. His father knew that Jim and he were T'hy'la and so Spock would not be able to bond with a reproductively viable female but that hadn't stopped Sarek from trying to use him as a stud. Spock involuntarily shudders at the thought, although he loved children he had never expected to be able to have any of his own as he had been told that he was infertile due to his hybrid status. Spock has tested himself after finding out Jim was pregnant and found that he was technically infertile because his sperm count was too low to be counted however it only takes one to fertilise an egg, since the destruction of Vulcan, the council had have agreed to allow outside help with fertility problems and Spock had been selected but now with a child of his own to raise as an heir hopefully that will stop Sarek's plans.

Sarek was unable to re-bond as well, the healers theorise that he had kept a small portion of Amanda's mind within himself and so their bond had not broken, upon finding this information out Sarek had refused to have the bond broken so that although she was gone in the universe, she would still be with him forever. T'Pau had allowed this decision because she knew that Sarek would not be able to be with another Vulcan not after knowing the unlimited love he had felt from his second wife, even in this dark time of Vulcan's history T'Pau could not allow a member of her family to be forced into a marriage of which they do not wish to be in. She also believed that if you did not seek the same path in life you could break the childhood bond, this lead to the breaking of Spock and T'Pring's bond-link, it was one of the reasons why Spock had start dating Uhura, she was so different to T'Pring, if they had still had the bond-link Spock would have had to wait until his first Pon-Farr until he was able to start being with Uhura. As it was if the battle of Vulcan had never happened, Spock would have waited until after her graduation, it was only a few months away but in the light of his mother's death he could not turn away any support not matter what form that may have taken. He does not know how long the relationship would have lasted because eventually they would have realised that they are not mentally compatible.

Spock's feet automatically take him to his father's office, he did not even realise that he had entered the embassy. He walks up to the door and knocks three times, it does not take long for the door to open but when it does it is not his father; it is T'Pau Spock is let into the room where they exchange traditional Vulcan greetings between relatives. Spock's father is sat in his chair across the desk from Spock and T'Pau, he stands up when his son enters and they too trade Vulcan greetings, he motions for his son and mother to sit before reseating himself.

"My son, I am gratified to see you, you are looking well."

Spock allows a small quirk of his lips at his father.

"I am gratified to see you as well father, things have improved between my T'hy'la and I to such an extent that I was thinking of asking him to move into shared quarters with me."

"Indeed, may I ask why that has not happened yet?"

"I believe that it is too soon for Jim, I know how his heart feels, but I do not wish to rush him and scare him away, they have been far too many problems which have scared him and I do not wish to provide more."

"Indeed? Then you will not be bringing him to the colony to be formally bonded either?"

"No father, especially not for a while although we should be arriving at the colony more often since our change of orders, we will be doing more diplomatic missions and star-mapping and research missions."

"Indeed that is good news, may I ask why there has been such a change in orders?"

Spock again quirks his lips.

"Father I have the privilege of telling you that you will become a sa-mekh-al in approximately twenty standard weeks."

Both Sarek and T'Pau allow some shock to cross their face, T'Pau looks quizzically at her grandson.

"Explain." Asks T'Pau.

"James is k'kan with our ko-fu. He is thirteen standard weeks along."

"How is it possible for him to get pregnant?"

Spock shifts ever so slightly in his chair.

"He has an implant that acts as a uterus and ovary, thus giving him the ability to become impregnated."

Sarek is about to ask another question when Spock suddenly grabs his head between his hands, Spock feels Jim's terror and pain.

"Spock what is wrong my son?"

Spock removes his head from his hands and stands up.

"Jim is in trouble, I must go to him immediately."

Sarek stands as well.

"I will come with you."

Spock and Sarek leave the embassy and Spock calls up to the enterprise to be beamed to Georgia in the hope that they can get close enough to speak through the bond rather than just getting flashes of feelings. It doesn't take long for Scotty to beam them over and Spock tries to communicate with Jim, fortunately it seems to work and Spock gets a vague location, Spock once again calls up to the ship and Scotty beams them not far from the wreckage. Spock asks Scotty to send medical teams to their location and then rushes over to the car.

The car is totalled, the drivers side has been totally crushed in, there was no way for the driver to survive. Spock takes a quick look to see who it is; it's a woman he has never met before. Spock heads round to the other side where he can see Jim, Jim's got a few scratches but it appears as though he has no major injuries and Spock cant feel any through their bond however Jim is trapped and there's no way he'd be able to get out on his own, the metal though gives Spock no challenge and he is easily able to get to Jim.

"Spock!"

"Jim everything is going to be all right. I am here now. Just hold on until I can get you out."

"No Spock you have to help Joanna, and bones Spock, you got to help them."

"I will Jim, however you must let me get you out first."

Spock looks over at his father who moves over to help.

"My father will help get them out do not worry."

Spock gently picks Jim up and moves him far from the wreckage, even in this day and age there was a chance that the cars could explode after a crash, Spock holds Jim in his arms as they watch Sarek pick up Joanna and carry her over to them. Sarek watches his son becoming ever more protective, there is no way that Jim will be out of Spock's sight for the foreseeable future. Sarek lies the little girl down next to them and then heads back for McCoy. It does not take Sarek long to free McCoy from the car and bring him over to the others, Sarek is just about to head back to the car to see whether he could bring the female out as well, when the car explodes into a ball of fire, Spock instantly uses himself as a shield to protect his mate and unborn child.

Sarek uses his telepathy to ascertain what injuries the two McCoy's have when the medical team Spock requested arrives. The team quickly and efficiently assess each of their injuries before having them beamed directly to the Atlantic hospital ER department. The three victims are then separated from each other so that they can each receive the medical treatment that is needed. Sarek and Spock are left to wait in the waiting room. Spock begins to pace, he does not like being separated from Jim, his Vulcan blood is demanding that he make sure that Jim is safe.

"Spock please sit my son."

Spock nods and sits down in the chair next to Sarek.

"I know he is relatively unharmed that his injuries are superficial but I still feel as though I should be in there next to him."

"That is understandable my son, I was the same with your mother every time she was injured especially when she was pregnant with you, I did not wish for her to leave my sight."

Spock looks at his father, this is the first time that Sarek has spoken about Amanda since he told Spock in the transporter room that he married her because he loved her.

"I miss her."

"As do I my son, every second of every hour feels so much longer without her in my life. If you had not survived I would have followed her into death. I know that I have sometimes put Vulcan pride before your feelings and for that I am truly sorry. I should not have tried to purge your humanity, I see now that it was as good as saying that your mother did not matter because of her humanity. I wish that we had raised you on Earth and had allowed you to be brought up with people who at least try for some tolerance."

Spock does not know what to say, he had never thought that Sarek would ever regret his childhood.

"Emotions run deep in our race Spock. Perhaps your humanity can help you to control them."

Spock stays silent but his father knows that Spock understands, he thankfully changes subject in order to give his son time to come to terms with what he is saying.

"Dr McCoy and his daughter will be fine, they did not have any life threatening injuries, just a few broken bones and cuts and bruises."

"Indeed? That is good news, Jim will be most happy to hear that."

"Who was the woman in the car?"

"I do not know for definite but she had similar characteristics to the young girl in the car so I believe that she is the girls mother and Dr McCoy's ex-wife."

A doctor comes in at that moment and Spock stands up.

"How is Captain Kirk?"

"He is going to be fine, we've just finished healing the skin but we want to keep him in for a while just to make sure that the child is fine."

"May I see him?"

"Of course follow me."

Spock follows the doctor out of the room, leaving his father behind.

"If only you were here to see him now my wife, he is finally coming to terms with both halves of his genetics. Syrek was right, I just wish that you could see him."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

A/N: God this story is turning into a monster, this chapter is definitely the longest yet. As you will probably be able to tell from this chapter I don't like reporters. Bonus for finding the reference to another show. Enjoy!

Two Weeks Later

Jim was sat up in his hospital bed eagerly awaiting Spock's arrival as it means that he can finally leave the hospital. They had kept him in to run observations on his daughter, he was pleased to know that she was unaffected by the crash. Spock had turned up every day and had stayed long after visiting hours, he still remembered the look on the doctors face when he had tried to get Spock to leave on the first day, the poor guy looked like he was about to piss himself when Spock glared at him and shoved him up against a wall, since then no one had dared try and make Spock leave. Spock had promised that they would meld when Jim was discharged so that they could see their daughter again (this was a typical activity that took place on Vulcan in order to get the children prepared for when they are born and linked to their parents minds).

He was hoping to see McCoy and Joanna today as well, they were still being treated, McCoy had a head injury at first it seemed fine but he had then become infected with a virus which caused his brain to swell so he had to have several surgeries to release the pressure, medicine had improved dramatically over the last couple of centuries but opening up the skull and allowing the brain to expand was still the best treatment. Joanna had broken both her legs but they were healing nicely, she was being kept in as she not spoken since the crash and the doctors were unsure whether that was due to injury (as she too had a head injury) or to the trauma of losing her mother.

They had been moved a couple of days ago from Atlantic City General Hospital to the star-fleet medical centre in San Francisco, this was done for two reasons; the first because star-fleet medical had better doctors and equipment and two star-fleet wanted to be the ones who take care of their employees. Spock and Jim were gonna stay with Chris again until the end of shore-leave, it was fortunate that they had an extra two weeks shore-leave otherwise the Enterprise would have had to ship out without it's Captain in charge (he had been told not to retake command for a couple of weeks) and it's CMO still in the hospital.

Spock had become extremely protective and possessive over the last two weeks, Jim figured that it was down to the crash scaring Spock (not that Spock would admit to being scared), it was actually kind of nice. Spock was allowing PDA's in fact at times he would initiate them especially when any one who approached and started to flirt with Jim.

Jim makes sure that everything has been packed away when he feels a shock of lust race through him and he knows without a doubt that Spock is behind him. He turns around and sees that he was correct as Spock approaches him. Spock allows one hand to gently rub the ever so slight bulge of Jim's stomach. Jim is now fifteen weeks pregnant and is just beginning to show, the doctors believe that he will start to feel movement in the next few weeks as the baby continues to grow. Spock entwines his other hand with Jim's for a few seconds before pulling away and taking hold of Jim's bags.

"I believe you wished to see Dr McCoy and his daughter before we leave."

"Yeah I do, I miss them."

So Spock leads Jim first to the intensive care unit where McCoy is still being held since he has not yet regained consciousness. Spock waits outside while Jim goes in, Jim goes straight over to his best friend, it sickens him every time that he has had to see McCoy with tubes going in and out of him, it makes him think that this is what McCoy must feel every time that Jim has been injured and promises from now on he will be a lot more careful (especially as he has a daughter on the way) and a lot more sympathetic to McCoy. Jim sits down in the chair next to McCoy and holds his hand.

"Please wake up, I need you. Joanna needs you. She hasn't spoken a word since the crash. Bones your daughter really needs you. Please wake up. I know what Jocelyn said in the hotel room hurt you but it wasn't true; Joanna is yours the DNA test you were given when we arrived proved it. She's your little girl and she really needs you, I really need you... Dad please wake up."

Jim lapses into silence and sits in the room for about an hour before Spock comes in to take him to see Joanna. They don't speak as they walk to the children's ward, Spock understands that Jim is hurting and he knows that unless McCoy wakes up Jim will continue to hurt, nothing he can say will make Jim feel better so he says nothing. They reach the ward in a few minutes and Jim checks in with the nurse to see how Joanna is doing; she still hasn't said anything so Jim asks the nurse to take him to her. Both Spock and Jim follow the nurse to a private room. She lets the two officers enter before closing the door behind them. Joanna is sat on the bed, her eyes are wide open but it doesn't look like she knows that her pseudo brother is in the room. Jim goes over to her, he sits on the bed and pulls her into his arms, the girl doesn't move, she neither pulls away or tries to get closer. Jim feels like his heart is breaking, the only family he has ever truly known is falling apart around him and he has no idea what to do.

"Joanna? Sweetie talk to me, it's your big bro Jim. Come on sweetie, please talk to me."

When the little girl doesn't respond, Jim turns in desperation to Spock.

"Couldn't you meld with her? Like what you did for me?"

Spock looks deep into his T'hy'la's eyes.

"I do not know if that would be wise, perhaps if we were to take her to her father that would help?"

"I don't know Spock, he looks awful, I think that seeing her father in that way could make it worse for her."

Jim gives Joanna a gentle rub on her back and kisses her gently on her head. Spock can feel Jim's distress rising and seeks to take Jim back to Admiral Pike's house where he hopes he will be able to soothe Jim's mind or at least distract it for a while.

"Indeed, however I do not believe that it would be best for me to meld with her, if she continues to be mute I will not hesitate to send for a healer from the embassy as they are much better equipped and trained for this occurrence. Jim you are emotionally fatigued, I suggest that we leave, we will come back tomorrow and everyday afterwards so that you can see them."

Jim nods and he gently lies Joanna down on the bed, she does not move and it causes Jim so much pain that he bursts into tears. Spock pulls his T'hy'la into his arms and holds him. He sends soothing thoughts through their bond. Eventually the tears stop and after giving him a moment to compose himself Spock leads Jim out of the room, he acknowledges the nurse with a nod of his head and then takes Jim out of the main entrance/exit. The moment they step out of the hospital they are ambushed by reporters who have somehow found out about what happened on the ship four months ago and that Jim is pregnant, the two officers are bombarded with extremely personal questions and it is all Spock can do to stop himself from unleashing his anger on the intrusive vultures.

"Commander Spock is it true you raped Captain Kirk?"

"Was it caused by the obliteration of Vulcan?"

"Are you mentally unstable?"

"Is Captain Kirk now your telepathic slave?"

"Is it true that you used Vulcan telepathy to get him to forgive you?"

"Is it true that you are pregnant Captain Kirk?"

"Are other members of the crew at risk from you?"

"How do the crew deal with you as their commander now that you are pregnant?"

"Did you think about having an abortion?"

And so it went on, they were hemmed in they couldn't even go back into the hospital as they were now surrounded on all sides, until finally one asked a question that caused Jim pain.

"Does your mother know you are pregnant?"

Spock did not know why it caused Jim so much pain but it did not truly matter especially as a few of them tried to touch Jim. Spock pulled out his communicator and asked to be beamed aboard the enterprise. Within seconds they were surrounded by the much welcomed transporter lights and were soon back on the the Enterprise. They were greeted by Scotty who was still on board overseeing the repairs and refit.

"Captain? Are you feeling al-right? What happened?"

Jim doesn't answer he just turns into Spock's arms, he is still shaking, Spock wraps his arms around Jim in a protective embrace. Scotty watches them with ill disguised shock, he had known that Jim had forgiven Spock for what he did and that they were now being friendly towards one another but he had not expected this level of intimacy between them, he would have to tell the rest of the command crew so that they were not shocked too although he has feeling that Uhura already knew.

"We were accosted by reporters as we left the hospital, they were quite rude and their questions were vulgar. We will require to stay here until such a time as I can contact my father."

"Of course commander. I heard about the crash, I've been to see Dr McCoy a few times, he's strong he will pull through."

"Indeed."

Secretly Spock thought that it was a slim chance and he knew that if McCoy did not 'pull through' then it would kill Jim and that in turn will kill him as he would not wish to live without Jim. Scotty salutes both of them and leaves the transporter room. Spock gently unwraps one arm from Jim, making sure to keep Jim close to him, so he can use his communicator and contacts the Vulcan Embassy and is unsurprised to be put through straight away. His father is not alone when he answers, T'Pau is stood next to him, they both favour Spock and Jim a warm look.

"Father, Clan Mother."

"Spock. I have seen on the news feed that you were confronted by reporters as you left the medical centre."

Jim pulls away slightly from Spock, he blushes when he sees the two most influential and arguably most powerful Vulcan's looking at him.

"Indeed. That is why I have called, we had planned to spend the remainder of our shore-leave with Admiral Pike and Elder Syrek however these plans are no longer valid, I request you to allow us to stay at the embassy until all this attention has waned or until the end of our shore-leave, which ever is shorter."

T'Pau looks at both men before her, she can see quite obviously the pain this is causing her grandson and she will not allow it, now more than ever family is important. Even before Vulcan's destruction Vulcan's were an extremely family oriented species and now they were even more so. She will not allow the reporters to hound them. T'Pau clears her throat and both men look at her.

"Of course you may stay here, we have plenty of room. I will have suitable quarters arranged for you. We expect you in one hour, beam down in front of the embassy."

Spock feels Jim's shock fill his mind and then the two pairs say goodbye and Spock ends the call.

"I wasn't expecting them to help us."

"I am aware of that, however it is logical, I am the sole heir to the house of Surak and you are carrying the heir apparent, my father and grandmother both like you, they appreciate what you have done for Vulcan, how you risked your life to save it."

"Yeah but I failed. If I had done more maybe we would have been able to save more people or even the planet."

"Jim I too blamed myself for what happened, my mother has told me on many occasions that the two saddest words in the universe were 'What if'. It has taken time and many sessions with a healer for me to see that I was not to blame. The only person who is at fault for what happened to my planet is Nero, so please do not blame yourself any further."

Jim nods and lets the subject drop but that does not mean that he has forgiven himself and Spock knows it, he even understands it but it does not mean that he has to like it.

"What do we do now?"

"I believe that we find somewhere to sit so that he we can speak to Admiral Pike. I wish to know who leaked your pregnancy to the reporters."

"Yeah and my feet are beginning to hurt."

"Indeed, I will ask Mr Scott to show us to such an area that is suited to our needs."

Spock pulls away from Jim and heads to the door, Scotty is stood on the other side obviously waiting for his two commanders to finish their conversation and to be honest he was a little unnerved by their interaction.

"Mr Scott is there a place where we can hold a private conversation where there is seating available?"

"Of course sir, your quarters have been unchanged as have the captains."

"Indeed?"

Spock re-enters the transporter room and motions for Jim to follow him, Spock tells Jim their destination and walks one step behind Jim as he did in the beginning of the five year mission. They walk at a steady pace and make sure not to touch each other. They have a quick look around as they approach their destination, they can see all the work that has gone into refitting the ship. They arrive at Jim's quarters and enter, Jim immediately heads to his desk and sits down, Spock stands behind him. Jim lets out a sigh of relief when he sits down, Spock barely manages to repress his smile. Jim inputs a code into the computer and is connected to Admiral Pike at home.

"Where are you kid? you were supposed to be here a while ago."

"We're on the Enterprise, we got mobbed by reporters on our way out of the medical centre, Spock had to call for a beam out. haven't you seen the news?"

"What? Hold on a second."

Pike disappears from the screen and Spock and Jim wait patiently for him to come back, they are not kept waiting long. Pike sits down, he looks pissed off.

"No I didn't, but I have now. I suggest you find somewhere else to stay until this dies down. I'll find out who leaked that information to the press and when I do I'll make them pay, don't worry."

"We're gonna stay at the Vulcan embassy, T'Pau 'offered' to lets us stay."

"That's good kid, I had better get back to headquarters to start this investigation, do you think that it was anyone on your ship?"

Jim starts to panic what if another member of the crew was working against him, Spock feels his mates fear and soothes it, Jim starts to feel calmer and sends both his thanks and apology through their bond.

"I do not believe so, although the crew are not happy with me as the first officer at the moment they do care a great deal about the captain and would not do anything to hurt him. Jim's dislike of the press is well known on this ship as he has grown up in it's spotlight."

"Is there any chance that it was Komack?"

Chris looks surprised at Jim, the former admiral definitely had motive but the thought hadn't crossed his mind..

"It could be, he certainly knew about what had happened and he really doesn't like you but I think that he might be keeping his head down at the moment because of the comments he had made."

"Indeed, this could be a distraction, he could have leaked this information so that the focus is no longer on himself."

"Good point, al-right I've got to go, I'll let you know if I find something, oh and I'll have your things ent to the embassy maybe Syrek will take them if I ask nicely."

Chris signs off, leaving Jim and Spock alone.

"Sorry for panicking again, I seem to be doing that a lot."

"It is understandable Jim. You do not wish to think bad of your crew and it would mean that one of them would have betrayed you. Admiral Pike will find out who leaked the information so do not worry. They will be found out before we leave for the next mission, I have great confidence in the admiral's abilities."

"How do you always know the right thing to say?"

One side of Spock's mouth quirks up.

"I do not know. I believe that perhaps Mr Scotty would like to show us around and point out some of the upgrades."

"I think that you just want to see the new science labs."

Again that one side of Spock's mouth quirks up.

"Perhaps."

They leave to see Scotty, they find him in the mess that is engineering, straight away Jim can see some of the upgrades there is now bio-neural circuity through out the ship making all computers quicker and sending information faster. They are shown where the ship will separate from the rest, for a lot of work it is sure being done quite quickly, they are also shown the new science labs which have more equipment and space, Spock seems to appreciate the modifications. The tour only lasts half an hour before Spock reminds Jim that they need to beam down to the embassy. They say good bye to the staff working on the ship and Scotty beams them down.

There are no reporters around when they beam down, it was something that Jim was worried about so he was relieved when he did not see any. Spock heads to the gate with Jim and are let through immediately, Jim has to stop and look around, the embassy compound is huge, Spock almost smiles when he sees the look of surprise on Jim's face. Jim smiles at Spock and they carry on walking, they are greeted at the door to the embassy by one of the staff, Spock had thought that they would be treated quite badly (what with one being half-human and the other being fully human) so he is pleasantly surprised himself when he is treated cordially, he supposes it has something to do with them avenging the deaths of billions of Vulcan's and his father being the ambassador. They walk through the halls to Sarek's office, Jim again stopping and staring, there are hundreds of paintings and weaponry harking back to Vulcan's violent history, Spock knocks on the door and is permitted entrance to the room, Spock enters first and is followed quickly by Jim. Sarek is sat on his side of the desk, T'Pau is sat opposite, they both rise when the two men enter the room. Spock trades the Vulcan greeting with his family and is unsurprised when Jim also greets them with the ta'al and traditional words, he knew that Jim had being learning Vulcan. T'Pau motions for them to sit and so they do.

"How are you both feeling?"

"I am well father, as is Jim, it has obviously caused some problems but I am certain that we will be able to deal with them. We are gratified for you allowing us to stay here."

T'Pau nods in acknowledgement.

"We are gratified that you have asked. We have arranged for the two of you to use one of the uninhabited houses on the edge of the compound so that you may have some privacy, it is currently being cleaned so that you will be able to stay there. We have received your belongings from admiral Pike and they have been sent to your lodgings, the house will be ready for you after dinner and so we are requesting that you will join us."

"Of course Clan mother we would be happy to accept your invitation."

"James, how are you feeling? This pregnancy must be wearing on you."

"Yeah, I get tired a lot but apparently that's normal, so far the doctors think that it could be a successful pregnancy but they are still worried that it could fail. I would be the first humanoid male to successfully carry a foetus to term if this pregnancy is successful."

The two star-fleet officers spend a few hours talking to Sarek and T'Pau, each asking questions about what was happening in their lives. They are just getting ready for dinner when Jim receives a call, he apologises and answers it, his face goes pale at first but then his eyes begins to sparkle, he finishes the call and hangs up before turning to Spock.

"It's bones, he's awake."

TBC

Please review.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

A/N: Enjoy this chapter.

Three Days Later

Jim is once again on his way to see McCoy who had regained consciousness 72 hours previously with no apparent ill effects, he had not suffered any memory loss as far as the doctors can tell. He will have to stay in the hospital for a few days longer before they decide whether he can leave. The good news had kept coming because once Joanna had seen that he dad was going to be okay, she had started talking again to everyone, she had even apologised to Jim for not talking to him. To say that Jim was relieved was a huge understatement, he hadn't felt this much relief in his life.

He was still staying at the embassy with Spock and they would be staying there for the remainder of their shore-leave as the reporters would not leave them alone, fortunately the press weren't stupid enough to try and follow them on to embassy grounds or onto the academy grounds, so they were still able to go out, under the condition that they use private transportation to get around (T'Pau had _suggested_ it) which was why he was travelling in a embassy car. Spock was staying with Sarek as they wished to meditate together (something that they had not done together since Spock was a small child). T'Pau and Sarek had been very kind and welcoming to Jim, they had been more open with their feelings than Jim was expecting, Spock explained that they had acted exactly the same around Spock and his mother in private because they did not believe that a complete suppression of emotions were healthy, it was one of the reasons why the house of Surak had the lowest rate of suicide after the destruction of Vulcan. Spock was the youngest survivor of the holocaust from his clan but the house of Surak was extensive and many couples who had decided against raising children had changed their minds.

Sarek was dealing with the colony while they were there and he often asked the two star-fleet officers on what their opinions were on certain subjects, such as defence of the new planet (jhim suggested a planetary defence forcefield much like the one on Earth, the Vulcan's were against it at first until Jim pointed out that it would be illogical not to protect their people and that this field could be the difference between annihilation and survival). From the earliest estimate of only 10,000 Vulcan's surviving (the actual number was closer to 100,000 after they had looked at all the colonies and other federation planets) and that would be increasing exponentially over the next few years as more couples were having children, as well as scientists from around the federation shared their knowledge about artificial reproduction and womb technology as well as any help in reproducing some of the lost wildlife both flora and fauna. Vulcan found that they had a lot more friends then they had originally believed, the high council was overwhelmed by all the help that was being offered from all the membership worlds. Of course their were the obligatory assholes who made everyone's life a misery but fortunately they were few and far between.

Jim arrives at the hospital and gets out the car, he is immediately bombarded by reporters so he keeps his head down, doesn't answer their questions as they are just as vile as before and walks into the hospital. He heads up to McCoy's new ward as he had been moved just yesterday from intensive care to his own private room on the officer ward. Jim had brought him some gifts to enjoy while he was on bed rest including joke patient scrubs with the words 'world's worst patient' written on them with a matching pair saying 'world's most grumpiest doctor' on them, Jim had smiled when he had seen them and bought them straight away, he had also bought him a bottle of saurian brandy but he kept that at the embassy for them to enjoy when they got back ont the enterprise. He had bought a giant teddy bear for Joanna which was pink and extremely fluffy, it was actually quite cute not that Jim would ever admit to it.

Jim walked into McCoy's room after knocking on the door and receiving permission to enter, he sees McCoy sat up with pillows behind him propping him up, Joanna is no where to be seen. There was a cute blonde nurse, who he recognises as Nurse Chapel off the Enterprise, who is fussing over him. Chapel sees Jim looking at the two of them and decides to leave them to it but not before she places a kiss on McCoy's lips, Jim smiles at the blush and absolutely pleased look on his face. Chapel brushes past him and then is gone, Jim walks over to McCoy and sits down on the bed next to his best friend in the entire universe.

"Hey bones, how you feeling?"

"I'm doing good kiddo, but... I have something I have to tell you."

Jim feels panic.

"Is it Joanna? Has something happened to her?"

McCoy puts a hand on Jim's leg in order to calm him.

"No she's good, it's about me... I wont be coming back on the enterprise."

"What? You have to bones, you're the only doctor I trust. I need you. Have I done something wrong?"

All of Jim's insecurities come to the surface, ruining all the work McCoy had done over the last three and a half years. Jim tries to think of all the things he has done recently and wonders which ones have caused McCoy to want to leave him.

"No kid you haven't done anything wrong, I promise, don't blame yourself. It's just now I'm gonna have to take care of Joanna."

"But why cant she come with us, I'd let her on."

"I know but it's not really the place to raise a child and I wouldn't cope if anything happened to her."

"I know bones I really do, if anything happened to my little girl I don't know what I'd do either and she isn't even born yet. The enterprise is the safest ship around, we've got the lowest injury and death count in the fleet, I know it hasn't been six months yet... god has it only been that long? But you know I wouldn't be stupid enough to raise my girl on a ship if it wasn't safe, if I can do it why cant you?"

"Jim you know the only reason I joined star-fleet was I had nowhere left to go, but now I do. Joanna's been left the house, we can live there, I can restart my practice."

Jim starts to well up but he wont let the tears fall, not this time. McCoy notices and it hurts him, he knew that Jim still needed him, that no matter how close Jim got to Spock, Jim will always need him because he was the first person to ever see the man hidden behind the mask.

"But what about everyone else, they're becoming our family, they'll miss you too."

McCoy is stopped from replying when in walks Joanna and his mother Caroline. His mother smiles when she sees Jim sat next to McCoy. Joanna had been staying with her paternal grandmother since she was released from hospital as her maternal grandmother had passed away the year before.

"Hello James, it is good to see you again."

"Hello Mrs McCoy, good to see you too. Hello Joanna."

Joanna smiles at Jim and climbs onto his lap, whilst McCoy's mother gives McCoy a hug and kiss. Jim pulls out the teddy bear from the bag he had put by his feet and gave it Joanna, she squealed with delight. Joanna gives Jim a huge kiss and then climbs all over McCoy with her new toy (which is almost as big as her), Jim hands McCoy the bag with his presents in and then stands up.

"I should go."

"Kid don't..."

Jim interrupts him before he has a chance to finish.

"Spock's probably waiting for me anyway, enjoy your gifts. See ya little sis. Bye Mrs McCoy."

The females in the room say their goodbyes and Jim leaves the room, he calls the embassy to get them to send the car asap as it was sent back to the compound when Jim went into the hospital just in case it was needed by someone else. Jim only has to wait a few minutes before the car arrives and he has to once again fight through the press to get to the car. Once safely inside he asks for the driver to take him to the embassy. Jim goes over in his head what he would do if McCoy didn't go back with him onto the ship, he knew he would never be able to trust another doctor not with himself and his daughter, he had dealt with M'Benga before when McCoy was dealing with a more serious case but that was only because McCoy was near him, he would probably lose chapel as well, he knew that she was in love with McCoy. His hands were shaking again, he hated the way he felt; why was he being such a girl about it? He knew that it wasn't just down to the pregnancy either. He didn't know what to do.

He feels a wave of soothing love and affection come over him from the bond and sends back his thanks and apologies to Spock.

They reach the embassy in good time and Jim heads into the main building where he is greeted by both Spock and Sarek, Sarek leads them into his private office. Spock continues to touch his mate as they walk causing a few scandalised looks from the more conservative Vulcan's. Once they head into the office Spock immediately makes Jim sit down before getting him a drink of cold water from the replicator. Jim gulps some of it down before looking into Spock's eyes.

"What has happened T'hy'la?"

"It's bones... he's thinking about quitting and I don't know what to do, he's my best friend almost my father and brother combined. I cant lose him."

Jim bursts into tears, so Spock pulls him into his arms. Sarek looked nonplussed about the scene unfolding before him, he could remember him doing the same thing for Amanda when she was pregnant. After the meditation session with his son they had shared a meld, it was another thing that they had not done since Spock's childhood, he had shown Spock memories of Amanda and in turn he had received some memories of Jim in return although these were accidental as Spock had become emotionally compromised. He know knew everything that Spock knew about Jim and he was determined to protect his new son and his unborn granddaughter, he had not known how much Jim had suffered through his life but he was pleasantly surprised to see how well he had turned out in spite of (or perhaps because of) what he had been through.

Sarek was extremely protective of his family especially now and so he devised a plan to help Jim. He checked on his sons to see them still wrapped up in each other and so wrote a letter to Admiral Pike asking him to talk to McCoy on Jim's behalf and persuade him to go back into space. Sarek has had dealings with admiral Pike before and so knows that he can be as blunt as he usually is without worrying about whether Pike would be offended.

Three Hours Later

McCoy was sat up in bed, absolutely bored out of his mind, Joanna had left about an hour ago, there was a knock at the door.

"Enter."

The door opens and in comes Admiral Pike, still in a wheelchair but this one is more suited to a independent man like Pike.

"Admiral, what can I do for you?"

"Hello Leonard, call me Chris, I'm not here on official business. Well I am in a way, I know you are thinking of quitting star-fleet."

"Jim told you."

"Actually no, the letter I received was from Ambassador Sarek. He contacted me after Jim broke down in his office, he seems to believe that you should be on the Enterprise especially after speaking to a certain well travelled gentleman. He suggested that I try to make you reconsider."

McCoy feels sorrow that he has caused his best friend so much pain but he has to think about Joanna.

"Are you going to try?"

Pike raises his eyebrow.

"I just want to know why."

"I don't want Joanna going into space, it's not safe."

"Leonard, the Enterprise is already the safest ship in the fleet, it will be even more so after the refit is done. Statistically you are more likely to get hit by an air car out walking then you do being on the ship. The Enterprise is being pulled off of patrols and is instead going to deal with diplomatic, research and star mapping missions. And besides this next mission he is really going to need you. I need you to keep an eye on him anyway but he is going to be dealing with even more ghosts from his past."

"What's gonna happen?"

"I cant tell you that, I haven't been given the relevant information all I do know is that he will need you."

McCoy looks confused.

"Your the one who is in charge of the Enterprise's missions, how can you not know?"

"I'm not in charge of this one as it's a sensitive diplomatic one, only Admiral Archer knows and he told me in confidence that he fears that this mission could break Jim especially after everything he has gone through in the last five months."

"Oh god, how much does that kid have to go through before the universe gives him a break?"

"I don't know... I need a decision are you staying on the ship or not? If you are great, if not I'll have to find Jim another doctor he can trust."

McCoy thinks it over.

"Fine I'll stay but just for this mission, I'll have to think about the rest of the five years though."

Pike smiles and McCoy rolls his eyes.

"That's fine,I'll see about getting your room refitted as well and I'll send Jim a message, get well soon."

"Bye."

Admiral Pike salutes him and McCoy salutes back before Pike leaves the room.

For the next two weeks Scotty works flat out to refit the enterprise, fortunately he has a lot of help and it is all finished on time. McCoy is released from hospital after a few days and spends the rest of his shore-leave with his daughter. Jim and Spock continue to get closer, they spend quite a few nights together. All in all Jim is quite happy, especially when he steps onto the bridge for the first time in four weeks. Then he receives a message from command to tell him about the next mission and from then on it's all down hill.

TBC

Please review.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

A/N: Just in case anyone wants to know at this point Jim is currently 17 weeks pregnant, he's only just made it halfway through. Now you've endured my rambling I hope you enjoy this chapter. Much, much more angst in this chapter.

The moment Jim saw that the Admiral in charge of this mission was Admiral Archer, he knew that this mission wasn't going to be good, it wasn't that Archer was a bad guy (because he wasn't) it was just that he was known for missions that caused the captains some psychological problems, even Pike had feared getting a mission off of him. The one good thing was that the Admirals trusted him enough to perform his job now rather than giving him milk runs, although the last few missions hadn't been that easy, in fact out of the five missions they had done only one had gone as smoothly as was expected.

"Captain Kirk."

Jim lowers his head in respect before raising it again.

"Admiral how can I be of service?"

"Kirk, your next mission is to take a group of ambassadors to Kronos so that they can start on the talks to get the Klingon's to join the Federation. I should not have to tell you how important this mission is. Be sure to keep a very close eye on things as there have been threats on both sides from people who do not agree with these talks. Be careful Jim."

"I will Admiral I promise, who are the ambassadors who are coming on board?"

"There is an ambassador for the four most prominent planets in the federation, there is on from Andorra One from the Vulcan colony, one from Betazed and the new ambassador for Earth and their family. Councillor Gorkon will be heading back on his own ship but they will be travelling with you, you will need to make sure that they get to Kronos safely as well."

Jim nods his head.

"Thank you sir, I will make sure that I have rooms prepared to their liking sir."

The Admiral cuts off the transmission and Jim's face disappears from the screen. He lowers his in shame at not having the guts to tell Jim who the new ambassador for Earth is. _I hope you have some good friends on your ship captain because you are going to need them._

Back on the enterprise Jim is telling the crew of their next mission, he asks them to be extra vigilant in their duties to make sure that they arrive and return safely. Jim hands over the comm to Spock with the request that Spock changes the temperature in the rooms for the Andorrian and Vulcan ambassadors as it is a system on the computer it can be done from the bridge. Jim heads down to meet the ambassadors in the transporter room and to assign them a yeoman to show them to their rooms and to make sure that they have everything that they will need on this journey.

The first two ambassadors to beam up are the Betazoid and Andorrian ambassadors with their aides, Jim has never met either of them or their aides and so he gives his most charming smile and passes them over to their yeoman after agreeing to join them for dinner in the mess hall. The next one to beam up is the Vulcan ambassador and his aides, Jim cannot contain the smile that crosses his face when he sees who the ambassador is; it's Syrek. Syrek has brought two aides with him and has also brought Sarek as well.

"Syrek! Sarek! What are you doing here?"

Syrek gives Jim a hint of a smile, Sarek inwardly smiles at the exuberance of the greeting. Jim just about restrains himself from giving Syrek a hug when he realises that they are not alone in the transporter room.

"Well Jim I thought that my years of experience could help in this matter. What do you think?"

Jim grins again. _You sly old dog._

"I think that that is a good idea. A very logical idea."

Sarek's lips quirk.

"Are we the last to arrive?"

"No, there's just the new ambassador to Kronos. Do either know who it is?"

I'm the ambassador is..."

Syrek does not get to finish telling Jim who the ambassador is as he is interrupted by the transporter technician with the news that the ambassador is waiting with their family to beam up, Jim tell her to beam them up and is absolutely shocked when he sees who the new ambassador is; it's his mother. His brother was also beamed up along with his step-father and three people who he has never seen before. Jim steps forward to speak to them but none of them look at him, before he gets to say anything, Winona Kirk speaks.

"I am ambassador Winona Kirk-Castran, this is my husband Frank Castran, my daughter Jessica Kirk-Castran, my son and aide George Kirk, his wife Aurelan Kirk and their son Peter Kirk. I presume that there is enough rooms for my family on board?"

Winona points to each member of her family as she speaks. Jim swallows deeply, he stares at the little girl, he cant believe that he has a sister he has never met, he looks back at his mother who is obviously blanking him. Aurelan gives him a small smile, Peter hides behind his mothers legs.

"Yes there is plenty of room for your family. I am Captain James T. Kirk and will be quite happy to show you to your rooms."

"That's quite al-right we can make do with a yeoman, there is no need for you to be involved at all."

"OK, if that's what you want."

"It is."

The little girl steps forward, she looks intently at Jim, then she turns to her mother.

"His name is Kirk too? Does this mean we are related?"

Winona looks at her daughter and smiles at her, Jim watches this exchange with envy; what he would do to get his mother to look at him like that, he would kill to have her smile at him and truly see him.

"No sweetie, he just has the same surname, it is quite common."

Jim's heart feels like it is going to break, to ignore him is one thing but to deny that he was a part of the family was quite another. Jim looks to his brother, who is also ignoring him. Pain shoots through him. He had hoped that by becoming a Captain at such an early age, to be the youngest in history, he had hoped that they could be proud of him and find it in their hearts to love him but he was obviously wrong.

Syrek also watches this exchange but he feels quite a bit of sorrow for his T'hy'la's counterpart and a lot more anger to this supposed family. He had had the honour of meeting Winona Kirk in his own time line when he and his Jim had decided to get married, The woman he had met was full of life and love for her youngest son. She had showered him with gifts every time they met and she had been to both his graduation ceremony and the ceremony where he was made the Captain of the enterprise, it is quite obvious that this is not the same woman he met, he could not believe that this woman would ignore her own child and tell her daughter that he was not related. Syrek decides to stand up for Jim.

"Forgive me Ambassador Kirk-Castran but I had thought that you were married to George Samuel Kirk, the captain of the unfortunate Kelvin."

Winona stiffens, unsure of where this was heading.

"Yes I was, 26 years ago. What of it?"

"I had the great honour of meeting George Kirk."

Never mind that it was in an alternate reality, but Syrek did not think that there would be such a difference.

"He had told me of how he was already a father to one son and how he was looking forward to being a father again to another son, apparently his wife was looking forward to it as well. I am aware that Captain James Kirk was the son of George Kirk but if he is not your son then that would mean that George had cheated on you and I do not believe that George would be capable of doing such an act as he was extremely faithful. So that leaves me with quite a conundrum. Who is Captain James Tiberius Kirk's mother if not you?"

Jim looks at Syrek, silently pleading for him to stop, Syrek's only answer was a shake of the head. Winona looks him straight in the eye.

"George was not perfect, it is possible that he did cheat, as for my youngest son he died on the same day as his father, I do not know who the Captain's mother is but I am most certainly not."

Jim's heart completely breaks and he collapses, he looks up at the woman who he had wanted to be his mother and sees only her cruelty. To be able to love two of her children completely and yet hate the middle child, it hurt Jim so much. He starts to hyperventilate, Sarek goes to him and tries to calm Jim, when Sarek touches Jim's skin he can feel all the pain and shame that Jim feels and it makes him angry, almost as angry as when Nero killed his wife. The technician looks at the scene in shock before she calls the bridge to send down Commander Spock but Spock was already on his way, so she calls Dr McCoy and he heads over as soon as possible. McCoy arrives only slightly a head of Spock, and they both go straight to Jim's side. Spock looks at his father for an explanation but his father was not looking at Spock he was glaring at Jim's mother.

"I do not know how you can look in a mirror, this is your son and you deny him. You have inflicted so many injuries to him, I do not know why but I will not have it. As he is a Vulcan citizen, your crime of slander will be heard in a Vulcan court, once our mission is complete you will hear from the high council."

Aurelan and the little girl looks shocked. Sarek looks at the little girl.

"You are related, this is your big brother."

Frank by this time had become very agitated, he knew that he should keep his mouth shut but when it came to Jim, he never could do as he was told.

"Yes this is your brother and look at how pathetic he is, I suppose that the only way he got to be captain was by sucking some admirals dick."

Spock growls at Frank but Frank takes no notice.

"I bet the little whore had get fucked by all of them to get on the ship. He's worthless, a good for nothing waste of space."

"You will stop talking about the captain like that. If you do not wish for him to be in your life, the that is what is the saying? Oh yes, it is your loss. But you will not continue to insult him in front of me. He is worth more than you could ever dream of."

Spock orders one of the yeomen to take the Ambassador and her family to their quarters. Once they are gone Spock turns to McCoy, who has managed to calm Jim down. McCoy now knows that it was good thing he was on board, when he realises how close he came to not staying and consequences of that action, he shivers. McCoy knew about Jim's family mostly though his connections in the medical world, he had also seen Jim's complete medical file, he knew that this family was fucked up he just didn't know it was this bad especially as Jim never talks about it.

"Doctor, is it acceptable for me to take him to his quarters? Or will he need to go to sickbay?"

"Yeah you can take him to his quarters. Jim don't worry al-right everything will be fine. We are here, you don't need her or the rest of them. You have a family, you have your crew who adore you. You don't need her."

Sarek places a hand on Jim's shoulder.

"Indeed James you are a member of my family also, you may not have the typical family but then what is typical about you?"

Sarek's mouth again quirks up wards in an almost smile. He feels a great deal of affection for his new son, it is a shame that his family could not see it. If Amanda was here she would be able to make Jim feel better, she would become his mother just as much as if she had birthed him.

Spock helps Jim to stand up and leads Jim back to his quarters, Syrek and Sarek go with them. McCoy stays behind he looks at the technician who looks horrified at what she heard.

"How can she hate the captain so much?"

McCoy shakes head.

"I don't know. I need you to keep this information to yourself, Jim wont want anyone to know."

"Yes sir, I promise I wont tell anyone."

McCoy nods and leaves, leaving the young female technician to ponder the unfairness of the universe.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

A/N: BONUS CHAPTER! The muse is with me it would appear. Enjoy. Oh and there is going to a lot of possessive and protective Spock from now on.

Aurelan glares at George.

"You lied to me you told me that he wasn't your brother, I thought I knew everything about you. Why would you lie about him being your brother? Why?"

George looks pissed off.

"He's not my brother. That piece of shit may be related by blood but he is not my brother. Everyone keeps saying how he is some big shot hero, well he's not. I bet that he is just taking all the credit for what other people have done. He didn't save Earth, he cant do anything right."

"Maybe he has changed since you last knew him, how long a go did you last see him?"

"I cant remember, but it doesn't matter people never change, they just lie."

Aurelan gets upset, how can Jim's family do this to him. She truly did not know that George had a brother, there were no pictures of Jim in the family home, there was no evidence that Jim had even existed. If she ha known that Jim was George's brother she would have made him come to their wedding. Angrier than she has been in a while she goes to leave but George grabs her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving I need some space, I thought I knew you."

George lets go of her arm and she leaves the room, picks up Peter from his grandparents room and then goes to thee observation deck (after finding out where it is by a passing ensign) where she stays for the rest of the morning.

Meanwhile on the other side of the ship, Spock is walking Jim back to his quarters. They are followed by Syrek and Sarek. They make it to Jim's quarters where Spock manoeuvres Jim onto the bed, he then helps his mate get into bed. Jim hasn't spoken a word since his family denied him. Spock makes Jim lie down and strokes his mates hair, to soothe him.

"Jim I must report to the bridge, to make sure that we are ready to leave and I will then stay in command, I will be back for a midday meal with you. I wish for you to rest, you have had a very stressful day, I do not wish for you to have any more stress today so please stay here."

Spock looks over at his father and counterpart, both nod back at him, already knowing the question.

"Jim, my father and Syrek will stay with you until I am able to come back."

Jim nods his head once and then closes his eyes. Spock spends a minute making sure that Jim will not have any nightmares while he is gone not that he wants Jim to have nightmares when he is there either. After checking that Jim is fast asleep, Spock stands up, he strokes Jim's hair one more time before having to wrench his hand away and leaving.

Once he is out of the door he has to pause and take a deep breath, it is getting harder and harder to stay away from Jim and he knows it is because of his Vulcan instincts, that and the fact that Jim is his entire universe, if anything were to happen to Jim he does not know what he would do. Marshalling his feelings and thoughts Spock makes a mental note to meditate longer tonight, perhaps Jim will allow him to meditate in his quarters. Spock walks to the turbo-lift and heads to the bridge, he sees a couple of curious glance which do not surprise him, he had left in a hurry only staying long enough to hand over the conn when he felt Jim's overwhelming despair. Spock sits down in the captains chair, he can see that lieutenant Sulu is trying to work up the courage to ask him a question, Spock decides to help him out.

"Lieutenant Sulu what is your question?"

"Sir is everything al-right with the captain?"

"The captain is fine lieutenant, he is currently with the Vulcan ambassadors, I expect he will be staying there for the entire morning, they have many questions to ask him."

Spock thinks that he is being sneaky but he can see that Uhura does not believe him, _I suppose I should not have used the word fine, she knows how much I dislike it. At least she will be discreet when she asks about Jim._

Once the ambassadors had been settled in (apart from the Vulcan's obviously) and the crew was all aboard, Spock gives the order to take the ship out. The morning passes in relative peacefulness which is quite pleasing. When it comes for their lunch break Spock heads to the door after handing the comm over to Sulu, Uhura follows him, they step into the lift together and Spock presses the button for the officers deck. Uhura stops the lift and turns to Spock.

"OK spill it, what's wrong with the captain."

"I do not know..."

Uhura interrupts him.

"Spock I know you OK? And you know me, I wont tell anyone if you don't want me to but I know there is something wrong."

"Indeed, you are correct. The captain has seen his family for the first time in what I believe is a very long time."

Uhura has known Spock longer than anyone else on the ship and she can see the anger in his body language.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"You would think so but no, it is not. I do not believe that this is the best place for this discussion, I will speak to you after shift."

She's not happy but Uhura agrees to wait for his explanation, she hits the button to start the lift again and watches as Spock gets out when it gets to the right floor.

Spock arrives at the captains door and uses his command override to get in as Jim hasn't given him the code to enter yet, which while Spock understands why it is still frustrating. He enters the room to find his father and counterpart locked into a chess match, it looks like it is a stalemate, they both look up when Spock enters. Spock nods at them before going to check on Jim, who is still sleeping. Spock sits with Jim a while just stroking Jim's hair, revelling in the feel of his T'hy'la. After a few minutes Jim begins to wake up, Spock watches as Jim wakes thinking that Jim is adorable when he is half asleep.

"Mm what time is it?"

Spock's heart leaps at Jim speaking.

"It is 12.09 hours. Do you wish for some food Ashayam?"

Jim nods and sits up. Spock goes over to the replicator (Captain's privilege) in Jim's living area and orders them a meal, he also orders a meal for his father and counterpart. By the time the meals have arrived Jim has come out of the bedroom area and is sat by his dining table, and Sarek and Syrek have joined him. Spock sits down next to Jim and they eat the meal in relative silence, Jim barely saying anything, the memory of his families rejection still preying on his mind, Syrek and Spock trade some quips about each other. Syrek watches Jim closely, he can see the pain clearly on Jim's face, Syrek reaches over and touches Jim's hand in a comforting manner. Spock growls at the touch then feels shame almost immediately.

"I apologise Elder."

"Do not worry young-ling, it was my own fault, I should have asked permission to touch your mate."

"I do not know why I did that."

Sarek watched the exchange with some amusement, it was fascinating to watch until Spock growled.

"Spock, it is a throwback to our pre reform days, you will become more and more protective of Jim as he progresses further along the pregnancy as well as when you grow closer as T'hy'la. It is something that you should watch out for as you relationship grows. It is something that I had to learn to deal with when your mother was pregnant."

Sarek pauses when he mentions Amanda's name, her loss still feels fresh especially as he still has a part of her mind with him. Spock holds Jim's hand in a loose embrace, and rubs his thumb over the back of Jim's hand, where Syrek touched.

"Do you feel up to working on the bridge or would you prefer to stay here?"

"Don't you think that you should talk to me first?"

Spock turns his head, McCoy has just walked into the room, he gives Spock a scowl and scans Jim with his tricorder. Once he gets the results he smiles at Jim and puts his hand on Jim's shoulder. Spock growls again.

"Oh shut it you pointy-eared hobgoblin, I'm not gonna hurt him or take him away from you so there's no need to growl, Jesus Christ."

Unlike when Spock growled at his counterpart he does not feel any shame for his actions, fascinating.

"Jim I don't think that you should go on duty today, I'm not happy with some of your readings, have you been getting enough sleep?"

"Yeah, of course I have it feels like I'm sleeping all the time but I'm still so tired all the damn time."

McCoy can see how tired Jim is, he takes another look at his tricorder before looking back at Jim.

"Alright looks like I'm gonna have to raise the amount of nutrients you have to intake again. Now for the good news, M'Benga thinks that you will be able to feel her kicking soon."

"That's cool... so what's the bad news?"

McCoy smirks.

"You'll need more hypos, you'd better come down to sick bay later."

Jim nods and McCoy leaves. Spock finishes his meal and turns to Jim.

"I must head back to the bridge I will see you after shift."

Spock stands up, he places a kiss on Jim's forehead and makes his way to the bridge.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

A/N: BONUS BONUS chapter because MyriadProBold asked so nicely. And just because I like to mess with heads, don't all write off Winona, believe me there is a reason for her behaviour, you just wont find out yet.

A few days later Jim was back where he belonged; on the bridge of his ship. By now every crew member knew what had happened in the transporter room, they hadn't changed in their attitude but they knew, they knew and that scared Jim. How can someone follow your orders knowing that your own family wanted nothing to do with you?

_/Jim your crew love you, they do not care why your family act the way they do. It does not matter to them. They would follow you anywhere , you and only you. Do not tear yourself apart this way Ashayam, you have no need to be worried.\\_

_/You're right. I just cant help it. Stupid hormones.\\_

Jim feels Spock's amusement come through their bond, he turns to the science station and mouths the words 'thank you' to Spock who looked up from the screen. Spock inclines his head and then goes back to work, Jim turns his chair back to face the expanse of space before them. The shift so far had been really boring for Jim, which meant that both Spock and McCoy were both happy. Jim wonders whether he could be let off doing bridge duty and maybe go looking around one of the many departments on board, on a mission like this the captain isn't expected to do much until they are in a battle situation and as they are still deep in federation space it is highly unlikely that they will run into trouble, the Klingon ship was also behaving itself, so there were no problems on that front either.

Jim hears the turbo-lift arrive and he turns to look at it, he's just looking for something interesting to do, the door opens and out steps his little sister (McCoy had surreptitiously obtained her DNA and compared it to Jim and proved that she was his little sister), he hadn't seen her since she had left the transporter room, no doubt that Winona and Frank thought to keep them separated.

Jim watches as she shyly walks over to him, everyone on the bridge also watches, she goes up to Jim and holds out her hands for a hug so Jim hugs her. His sister has long brown curly hair and her mothers eyes.

"What are you doing here? Does your mom know?"

The little girl shakes her head.

"Come on I'll take you back, you can tell me all about what you are up to at school and that sort of thing."

Jim stands up and his sister takes his hand, Jim give Spock a small smile and moves towards the lift.

_/Do you wish for me to come with you?/_

_/Nah I'll be fine./_

"You have the conn Mister Spock."

"Affirmative Captain."

Jim calls the lift and both him and his sister enter, they head down to the VIP quarters. As they get closer to her room Jim gets more and more anxious, fortunately when the door opens it is Aurelan who answers.

"Hi sweetie, how did you get out of here?"

The little girl shrugs her shoulders and goes inside the room leaving Jim to talk to Aurelan.

"She doesn't talk much does she?"

"No she's very shy."

"How old is she?"

Aurelan smiles.

"She just turned seven."

Jim nods and goes to leave, she places a hand on Jim gently and he turns back.

"I didn't know about you, I didn't know he had a brother, I would have invited you to our wedding, I would have invited you to Christmas, I don't know what happened in the past but I wont let it continue. He wont get away with ignoring you, I wont let him."

Jim smiles at her and she smiles back.

"Thank you but it doesn't matter, they haven't been in my life longer than they have been. I have a new family now, with a baby girl on the way. I don't need them but if you want to stay in touch you can, I don't need him or Winona."

"You have the baby on the way?"

"Yeah amazingly enough I'm seventeen weeks pregnant."

Aurelan looks surprised.

"That's good news."

"Yeah it is. I better get back to the bridge, they'll be wondering where I have gone."

She smiles again and then goes back into her quarters and heads off to the bridge, both not knowing that their talk had been over heard by George.

George goes to find mother and Frank they have to know that the news feeds were right Jim is pregnant and he bets that Spock is the father. It doesn't take him long to find them in the empty mess hall, he goes straight over to them and tells them what he has found out. Frank becomes apoplectic with rage.

"That little whore, bet he takes it right up the ass. Little slut, we should pay him a visit let him know how happy we are for his ungodly offspring he will be bringing into this world."

Winona agrees and all three of the make a plan to lie in wait for Jim, they know that at the moment he will be with his friends and that alien freak Spock. It takes three days for Jim to be off shift while Spock is on the bridge, they manage to corner him in the smallest observation room. They advance on Jim, Jim doesn't even know that they are there, Jim is sat on the bench looking out at the stars talking out loud to his unborn child, he tells her of all the things he is going to show her when she is born, how she will never have to ask if she is loved, and how he would do everything in his power to make sure that her childhood isn't as shitty as his was, he also tells her all about Spock (leaving aside how they first got together).

"What did I tell you mom? The little freak is pregnant."

Jim turns around at the sound of his brothers voice, he pales significantly when he sees the looks of disgust and hatred on their faces, George is the closest to him and is getting closer. Winona stays behind the men, she looks at her son for the first time and sees him, not his father, she hears how much love Jim has for his child, she cannot understand how it got to this, what made her act this way to the last gift that George had given her? How could she never love her own son? That Vulcan was right, but now it is too late to fix the mistakes of the past. Jim backs off slowly, he would rather face a million Nero's than be here right now, he sends a SOS to Spock through their bond. Spock doesn't get to answer before the ship starts to shake, Jim knows instantly that this is an attack and not an engineering problem. Jim goes to move towards the door but is blocked by George.

"Sam please, I have to get to the bridge, we're being attacked."

"You're not going anywhere until we're finished with you."

"Maybe the whore needs to be taught a lesson."

Frank moves forward, he's got an antique police baton in his hand (Which is how he managed to bring it on board).

"Maybe we should beat the child out of him, it would after all be putting it out of it's misery before it is born to parents like you."

Frank advances even further on Jim, Jim takes a fighting stance, he's finally realised that these people have no power over him any more, Frank raises the baton but before he can swing he is thrown up against a wall followed closely by George. Frank and George try to stand up but before they can a hand grabs them around the throat and lifts them off the floor, the two men look up at who has lifted them clear off the floor and they are terrified by what they see; it is Sarek but not the quiet peaceful logical Sarek, it is the pre reform filled with fury Sarek, his anger is plain for all to see. Winona backs out of the room and flees to her quarters, Sarek doesn't even glance at her. Jim watches shocked that Spock's father would do this.

"If you ever come near my son again, I will rip you to pieces. James is a member of my family now, you had your chance, my family will not make the same mistake as yours. You will leave here and you will go back to your quarters and you will stay there until we reach Kronos, you will never speak to James again unless you wish to go to jail."

Sarek watches the two men with distaste and just before they reach the point of passing out; Sarek lets them go. They gasp for air then turn tails and run from the room. Sarek turns to Jim as another shockwave rocks the ship.

"I believe you should get to the bridge, we will discuss this later."

Jim nods and runs to the bridge, Sarek watches him go with a burst of pride for his two sons.

"You would have enjoyed 'kicking their asses' my dear Amanda."

_/I would indeed my husband.\\_

TBC


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

A/N: BONUS BONUS BONUS chapter for PintoSpirk's birthday. Happy Birthday and I hope you like this chapter. Warning: Really bad porn ahead.

Jim races onto the bridge, he barely manages to make it to his chair before the ship is rocked with another attack.

"Report!"

Spock moves to his science station meaning that Chekov can go back to navigation.

"Captain we are being attacked by three Romulan Birds of Prey, shields are at 63%, the Klingon War-bird has taken massive damage, their shields are failing."

"Chekov see if you can find a weakness in their shield and take it out."

Chekov doesn't turn around but he nods his head to show he is listening. It takes a few minutes for the boy genius to find the weakness that they need and fires a photon torpedo but one of the other ships destroys it before it can reach it's target, they attempt it a couple of times but every time the torpedoes are destroyed before they can reach the ship. Jim gets an idea from an old sci-fi TV show from the late 20th early 21st century. Jim calls down to Scotty in engineering. Scotty is obviously trying to fix more than one thing at time as well as ordering about his little minions.

"Scotty I think I've got an idea, can we beam a torpedo onto their ship with a timer through the gap in their shielding?"

Scotty pauses, delight crosses his face.

"That's genius Captain, I'll see what I can do about it."

The wait is interminable, the wait feels like it has been hours but it has only been five minutes, the ship again is hit with the enemies weapons.

"Captain shields down to 26%, the Klingon's ship has taken too much damage, they are venting atmosphere. They will not survive another attack."

/_Shit, what the hell do we do?\\_

_/I believe we should try and beam aboard the Klingon's before their ship is destroyed.\\_

Jim sends his thanks over the bond and calls up engineering again.

"Scotty I need you to beam the Klingon's on board before their ship is destroyed. And how long before we can attack?"

"Got it captain, and the calculations are done, one photon torpedo away."

They all watch with bated breath as they wait for the first ship to be destroyed, when it does blow up it takes out the other two with the force of the blast, it also destroys the Klingon ship as well. Jim instantly calls down to the transporter room.

"Are the Klingon's on board?"

"Yes captain, all of them."

"Great, try and find them somewhere they can stay for now."

Jim gives a sigh of relief as does everyone else on the bridge, they take a moment now that they are not in immediate danger of dying to just breathe before turning back to their stations. Information begins to pour onto the bridge from every department on the ship, everything from injuries and death to structural damage.

"Chekov go to yellow alert."

"Yes Captain."

"What's our shield strength commander?"

"Our shields are at 11% captain."

"Any casualties at the moment lieutenant Uhura?"

Uhura turns to look at him.

"Three crewmen reported dead sir thirty six recorded injured."

_Dammit, always the worst part of the job. I've got to tell three families that their loved one isn't coming home._

"Any structural issues?"

"Engineering has received the most damage sir, everything else I am told is superficial, however there is one problem on the other side of the ship, I'm getting reports that the captains quarters have been badly damaged... hmm that appears to be incongruous with the other damage. I will send a team to check it out."

_/How is it different Spock?\\_

_/I believe Jim that it was done deliberately by someone on board.\\_

_/Three guesses who? Dammit where am I going to sleep tonight?\\_

_/You will stay with me Ashayam.\\_

_/Thanks Spock.\\_

Jim pulls out of their mental conversation and comes back to the real world.

"Lieutenant Uhura, please get in touch with command, tell them that we will need some support out here and warn them about the Romulan's being so far from their own territory."

"Aye Captain."

Spock walks over to Jim after handing over his station to his second in command of the science department.

"Captain, I would like to check on the ambassadors and make sure that the Klingon's have sufficient space for them to stay."

Jim knows that Spock really wants to check on his father to see if he is OK.

"Of course Spock."

Before Spock can leave Chekov cries out.

"Captain three more Romulan ships are on an intercept course."

"Sorry Spock but I need you at your station."

"Of course captain."

Jim begins to worry, there is no way that the ship can take on another three ships, not in the state the enterprise is in at the minute.

"Ensign Chekov, red alert."

"Aye sir."

Everyone gets ready to get into battle positions, they are hit by the Romulan weapons. Jim is thrown from his chair and lands on the floor (fortunately neither he nor the baby is hurt), Chekov hits his head on his console and is knocked out, Sulu sustains a head injury but stays conscious, Uhura manages to stay in her seat and Spock manages to stay upright. The others on the bridge are not so lucky, Spock's second in command of science is thrown into a wall, there is a deafening crack when his head makes contact with the wall he dies instantly, Uhura's second in command of communications is killed when his console blows up and the two security officers are both killed when they are slammed into the science station. Jim manages to get back into his seat before they are hit again.

"Captain shields down to 2%."

"Sulu see if you can get us out of here before they fire again."

Chekov interrupts before Sulu can answer.

"Captain, more ships on the way."

Jim runs his hands through his hair, he knows that there is little chance of getting out of this. Jim takes a deep breath.

"How many?"

"Six sir... wait they are not Romulan sir... they is Klingon."

The Romulan's turn their attentions from the crippled ship to the new enemies that have appeared, the Romulan's take out two of the war-birds before they are destroyed. The remaining war-birds take a defensive position around the enterprise.

"Captain we are being hailed."

"On screen lieutenant."

The view-screen changes to show the interior of the Klingon ship.

"I am Captain Koliotok of the Scream of Prey, I pray for your sake that my son is on board."

Jim swallows and stands up.

"I am Captain James T. kirk of the USS Enterprise. If you give me your sons name I can have him brought to the bridge for you."

"My son is High Councillor Gorkon. Is he on board?"

"I will find out for you Captain."

Jim flicks his eyes to Spock who is bent over his screen, talking to someone on another part of the ship.

_/Do not worry Ashayam, he is alive and on his way up to the bridge.\\_

_/Thank you\\_

Spock nods his head. Jim looks back at Koliotok. The older captain stares at the younger one, sizing him up.

"Your son is on his way, he will be here momentarily."

Jim waits anxiously for Gorkon to arrive, it isn't to long before he arrives. Gorkon goes to the view-screen, he nods at his father.

"Drop your shields Captain Kirk and we will take the Klingon's from your ship, we will wait for your ship to be fixed enough that you will be able to continue onto Kronos and then we will be your honour guard."

Jim nods at Spock and the shields are dropped, a minute later and Gorkon is beamed off the ship along with all the other Klingon's. The view-screen goes blank, Jim feels a bit of relief, he still worries that the Klingon's will go back on their word but at the moment it seems that they are keeping it. Jim orders everyone to either sickbay or their quarters, Jim asks for their replacements to come and take over. Spock calls up a medical team to take the dead to the morgue. Sulu and Uhura carry Chekov to sickbay, leaving Jim and Spock alone on the bridge, Spock waits until the crew have left the room before approaching Jim. Spock brushes his fingers against Jim's psi points in a comforting gesture for both of them. It reassures Spock that both Jim and their baby is fine. Jim yawns, Spock allows a hint of a smile to touch his face, he is relieved that Jim will be al-right and their ship will be too.

"Jim you should get some rest too, I will call you if you are needed. I do not wish for you to leave my sight but you must rest, I will stay here and keep an eye on your ship."

"I'm fine Spock. I don't mind staying honestly."

Spock looks at Jim carefully, he can see the strain of fear and loneliness on his face.

"Jim, what caused you to have to beg for my help? Who tried to hurt you?"

"It doesn't matter Spock."

Spock looks at Jim disbelievingly.

"Do not lie Ashayam, tell me what scared you so bad on your own ship?"

"Frank, Winona and George cornered me in the little observation deck on deck 6, they were gonna batter me, your father stopped them. It doesn't make any sense why did they think that they could get away with beating me up on my own ship?"

Spock gets murderous, Jim can feel it through the bond.

"Don't get angry please Spock. I know what they did was wrong but your father took care of it, you should have seen him, he was awesome, I have never seen two men so scared before, it looked like they were gonna piss themselves. But like I said what made them think that they could get away with it?"

Spock calms himself slightly, he still wants to rip them into little pieces but he wont do it right at this minute, he forces his mind to go over the logical reasons that they would have.

"As an ambassador Winona kirk would have access to all files about this ship, she would have found out about my Pon-Farr."

Spock blushes at the mention of the Vulcan cycle.

"She would have also found out that because my father is an ambassador as well I was immune from prosecution. I believe that they thought they would be too."

"Is it true would they have been able to get away with it if they had not been stopped?"

"Negative, I was afforded more protection because I am a Vulcan and because of the mitigating factors, the admiralty does not know of Pon-Farr but their superiors do. After the Day, Vulcan had to be more willing to give information to the federation that they had in the past, this information was only released the day before I went into Pon-Farr. It will be from now on included with all medical training because more and more Vulcan's have applied to star-fleet."

"That's a good idea."

"Indeed, you have however unsuccessfully distracted from the actions of your family , I will call up my father and he will walk with you to my quarters where you will stay until the end of my shift. You should rest Ashayam."

"You promise not to go after them?"

Spock inclines his head in what could be considered acquiescence but he doesn't actually answer the question.

"Spock?"

Spock realises that Jim would see through it.

"I promise that I will not go after them however I will not promise if they come after you again. I will do everything possible to protect you Jim, I will not allow you to be harmed."

Jim nods, it's the best offer he will get from Spock at this moment so Jim accepts it. Spock call his father up to the bridge, who arrives not long after (it goes against regulations but Spock is not willing to allow Jim's family to get near to him again), Jim follows Sarek off the bridge and back to Spock's quarters, Jim hasn't been in Spock's quarters since the Pon-Farr, being in there brings back all the things he had gone through at the time. Jim has to remind himself that he has forgiven Spock for what happened, he calms himself down when he feels Spock's concern come through their bond. It happened in the past, he does not have to dwell on it any more, Spock would never hurt him again. Jim goes into the bed area of Spock's quarters, he lies down on the bed hoping to sleep for about an hour or two until Spock comes off shift. Jim instantly falls asleep as soon as his head touches the pillow.

When Jim wakes it is to the feel of someone running their hand through his hair, Jim opens his eyes to see Spock sat on the bed next to him. Spock allows a smile to touch his face, Jim really is adorable when he is only half awake.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Approximately 4.6 hours."

Jim sits bolt up, instantly becoming more awake.

"I cant believe I slept that long, is the ship alright?"

Spock pulls Jim into his arms and lies down on the bed, he puts Jim's head on his shoulder and covers them with the blanket.

"It is fine Jim, the repairs are going well and the Klingon's have kept their word. I have just come from sickbay."

Jim lifts his head to look at Spock properly.

"Were you injured?"

"Negative Ashayam. I was checking on our crew."

Jim looks stricken.

"Oh god the crew, I am such a crap captain."

Spock growls softly, he strokes Jim's cheek.

"Do not speak of yourself that way, you are a great captain. We lost thirteen crewmen in total, Sulu received a gash to the forehead, it was fixed relatively quickly, and Chekov has a concussion he has been taken of rotas for a week, as all of our regenerators are being used on more serious injuries. We will need to stop at a star-base to stock up on medical supplies on the way back."

Jim sits up

"OK, I'll get started on those letters to their relatives."

"Jim you do not have to do those now, you have had a stressful few days. Dr McCoy wants you to stay off duty for the next few days."

"Spock I cant do that, we are on an important mission, I cant be off duty when there is a chance that everything could go to hell."

"Calm yourself Jim, I have already told McCoy this, he says that you are going through too much stress, you could hurt our child."

Jim puts his head in his hands.

"What do I do Spock?"

"Lie back down T'hy'la. You will still come on shift with me but if we run into more trouble you will make your way to sickbay, I am not sure that it is the best solution but it will mean that you can still be in charge and safe at the same time. I do not wish to lose you or our child."

Jim lies back down in Spock's arms.

"I feel like I cant do anything right."

"Jim that is just the hormones talking, you can do a great many things right. Do you wish to prove it to me?"

Spock flips them so that Jim is on his back with Spock on top, Jim feels adrenaline and arousal shoot through him.

"What did you have in mind commander?"

Spock brushes his lips against Jim's, he is pleased when Jim deepens it. He removes Jim's shirt with some difficulty as he does not want to break the kiss, finally he manages it, he takes off his at the same time so that they can go back to kissing sooner. He lowers Jim back onto the bed, continually kissing his beautiful mate. His hands start to explore Jim's chest and abdomen, he teases Jim's nipples, rubbing them until they become hard and tender, he removes his lips from Jim's and works his way down to Jim's neck. He finds that spot on Jim's neck that makes him completely pliable in Spock's hands, once found he starts to suck on it marking Jim as his. Jim begins to moan in pleasure at Spock's touch, he starts to move under Spock, undulating his hips so their groins will touch more and he wraps his arms around Spock. Spock pulls away from Jim's neck and his hands go to his mates waist to keep him still, he looks at Jim through lust filled eyes, he still cannot believe that this wonderful man is his. Jim lets his arms fall onto the bed.

After making sure that Jim wont move, Spock releases his waist and undoes Jim's trousers, Jim's scent is released into the room and it magnifies Spock's arousal. Spock pulls the rest of his and Jim's clothes off. Once undressed, Spock allows his eyes to drink in the sight of his naked mate, before turning his attentions to Jim's proud member, which is standing at attention, Spock breathes Jim's scent in deeply and then starts to lick and suck Jim's penis, making harder than it was. Once satisfied that it had had enough attention Spock moves up Jim's body to his lips, he kisses Jim deeply and lovingly, with one hand he reaches into his bedside cabinet and pulls out some oil, he uses it to cover his penis and to prepare Jim properly. When he is satisfied that Jim is ready he plunges into him and starts a punishing pace, he lifts Jim's leg over his shoulders and fucks into him harder and deeper, Jim's hands grip at the sheets. Jim at this point is babbling how much he loves Spock, and begging him to go harder. Spock reaches for Jim's penis and pumps it in time to his thrusts, finally he reaches tipping point and he throws open the bond and sends both straight into orgasm.

Boneless he lies down next to Jim and pulls his mate back into his arms, Jim cuddles up to him and nuzzles Spock's chest.

"See Jim, that was a job you could do right."

Spock smirks and Jim nips at his nipple in retaliation, which sparks another round of sex.

TBC

I did warn you there was bad porn lol. Please review.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

A/N: Six chapters in seven days, God this story is killing me. Hope you enjoy.

The next few days pass without any further incidents, giving the crew time to deal with the after affects of the battle. All reports have been written and sent as well as the letters of condolences, it had taken Jim hours to write the letters as he never thought that they could contain right balance of grief that their loved ones had caused with their deaths and of the sorrow for their loss, eventually Spock had to help him finish them as Jim had little experience of dealing with the death of a loved one.

Jim arrived on the bridge early for once (Spock had woken him up for a round of sex, not that Jim was complaining, it was actually very sweet and gentle compared to their usual antics in bed) and he smiled at Spock who had beaten him to the bridge as usual and was currently sitting in the captains chair. Jim arrived unnoticed by anyone other than Spock and he watched as the shift ended, he noticed that the gamma shift were less respectful to Spock than the alpha shift was, they spoke to him like he was dirt, they never said 'sir' when they were supposed to and half his orders and requests were ignored, Jim couldn't understand it until he heard the helmsman speak to the navigator.

"I walked past the captains quarters last night, I could hear him screaming and crying and I heard Spock in there as well, I think that it's happening again."

Jim looked at the helmsman shocked, the captains and first officers quarters were soundproofed there was no way that anyone would have heard him screaming last night, until he remembers that the helmsman is a Hathica and that their hearing is three times better than Vulcan's hearing and if Spock could hear him then it stands to reason that this guy could as well, he was going to have to look into getting better soundproofing for their quarters. Jim looked at Spock, he knew that he could hear what the guy was saying even better than Jim could, he could feel Spock's sadness through their bond although Spock was trying to hide it.

Yes Jim had ended up screaming and crying last night but it was because of memories of Tarsus IV, Spock had woken him from the nightmare and stayed the night after letting sob into his arms, Spock hadn't hurt him. Jim decides to make his presence known so he walks up to Spock and asks quite loudly if Spock would like to join him for chess in his quarters after their shift, when Spock says yes Jim beams at him and then takes his seat once Spock moves over to the science station. Jim watches as the shock flits across the helmsman's face and feels better.

A few minutes later and it is shift change, Jim walks over to Spock's station, he gently places his hand on Spock's arm.

"Do they always treat you like that when I'm not here?"

Spock nods.

"Indeed, they do not believe that I should still be the first officer. Many rumours are also going around that I am using my telepathy to control your actions, they think that is why you have forgiven me."

"Spock why didn't you tell me?"

Spock can feel Jim getting angrier and so tries to calm his mate.

"You were dealing with bigger problems Jim. I do not care what they think, it is only your opinions that will ever matter to me."

"You still should have said something, next time send them to me. You deserve respect and you should get it even if they only respect your position rather than you. I cant force someone to like you as much as I would love to but they can be made to obey your orders."

Spock inclines his head in agreement and Jim goes back to his seat, there is hopefully not a lot to do today as Jim knows that this mission is dangerous enough as it is and he really doesn't want to go up against more Romulan's any time soon, perhaps when they get their next refit they could get better weaponry and defence capabilities after all they are the flagship. The morning passes in blissful silence (there's something that Jim didn't expect he would be happy with when he first became captain) until Jim starts to feel movement in his stomach and gasps out loud when he feels his daughter kick for the first time. In the silence of the bridge everyone heard Jim's gasp including Spock who rushes to his mate.

"Is everything al-right Jim?"

Spock watches as Jim's face lights up with pleasure, Jim looks at Spock with a huge smile on his face and he forgets for a minute that he is on the bridge of his ship and they are travelling through Klingon space as he pulls Spock's hand onto his stomach.

"She kicked Spock, I felt her kick."

Everyone looks over at them before all coming over to feel their captain's daughters kicks, Spock growls when everyone tries to touch Jim and it snaps Jim out of his revelry.

"Al-right everyone back to work, interruptions over."

Everyone goes back to their stations immediately realising that maybe going over to feel the baby kick wasn't the best idea in the universe.

The ship is estimated to arrive at Kronos in the next hour and it is making Jim slightly nervous, Spock leaves the bridge to tend to the ambassadors and to ready a security team to go with them. Finally they arrive at Kronos, the green planet looms in front of them on the view-screen, there are at least twenty war-birds surrounding them, if something went wrong now, if this was a trap, they would never survive.

"Captain, we are receiving a hail from the planet."

"On screen lieutenant."

The view of the planet is replaced with what appears to be a council chamber filled with Klingon's. Jim stands up when they come on screen and does not allow any fear to be seen on his face, the Klingon's are a proud warrior race, fear is something they think of as a weakness.

"Greetings Captain Kirk. I am Keren of the house of Duras the supreme chancellor of the Klingon High council. We are prepared to receive your ambassadors."

"They are prepared to beam down once we have been given coordinates."

Keren motions with one hand to someone off screen and Uhura confirms that they have received coordinates for the beam down site, Jim asks her to send them to the transporter room. His orders are followed straight away and the ambassadors and their security teams are beamed down, the screen goes blank and Jim orders the transport chief to keep a lock on the ambassadors and for Uhura to maintain her vigil on the communications.

It takes two weeks for the treaty to be agreed on all conditions, two weeks of debating and compromise, two weeks of the enterprise being stuck in orbit and two weeks for Jim to be unable to hide the fact that he is pregnant as he has grown significantly around the waist in that time and finally, finally it is time for the great feast to celebrate with the signing of the treaty at the end of it. The high councillor Gorkon requests Jim to beam down for the feast so that they can thank him for avenging the Klingon's murdered by Nero. Spock is with him on the bridge and asks if he could accompany the captain, Gorkon agrees and both men beam down to the chambers together.

The chamber they are beamed down to is huge, you could almost fit the enterprise inside (almost) it was that big, weapons adorned every wall along with tapestries of great battles, the images were violent and blood thirsty exactly how Jim had predicted it to look like. Spock kept very close to Jim and made sure that he was not accosted by any of the many Klingon's who saw Jim as attractive and tried to separate Jim and Spock. Eventually they made their way to the table where the ambassadors were seated, Jim was sat in between Spock and Sarek, who both kept a close eye on the foods and drink being given to Jim, in order to prevent Jim having an allergic reaction or imbibing something that could be harmful to the baby, this of course left Jim being unable to eat much and to only drink water. Spock also kept an eye out for any threats he perceived to be against his mate, not even the Klingon's would be unable to see that Jim and Spock were together and that Vulcan's were extremely territorial, this actually helped their case as the Klingon's respected Vulcan's and knew of their history and how it was only covered by a pacifist façade.

The meal progressed slowly before it was finally time for the treaty to be signed, this treaty was a real piece of history as it indoctrinated the Klingon's into the federation as a member, there was great cheering as this important document was signed for all to see as the signing had taken place in front of a camera and was currently being beamed onto every federation planet.

Once signed the ambassadors were shown back to their sleeping chambers where they had stayed for the last two weeks, Jim and Spock were also expected to stay on the planet over night as a show of trust, fortunately they were allowed to share quarters with one another, Jim was surprised when he saw their bed chamber, it was massive, bigger than his quarters on the enterprise and the bed was big enough for ten people to sleep comfortably, one thing was for sure, the Klingon's didn't do things by half. Jim got changed and clambored into the bed, he watched as Spock got changed and then assumed the position for meditating.

"Will you be coming to bed?"

"Negative Jim, I will stay awake and meditate so that I may keep an eye out for danger and wake you if you have another nightmare."

"OK, will you get enough rest from meditating though?"

"Yes Jim, some times the meditation works better than sleep. You should rest now T'hy'la, I will wake you if you are needed."

Jim yawned, and curls up in the bed.

"Good night Spock."

"Night Jim."

Jim falls asleep quite quickly knowing that Spock will keep him safe, Spock slips into his meditation leaving enough of his mind alert for danger whilst letting the majority to rest and relax. It is in the early hours of the morning when Spock pulls out of his mediation, he has no need to stay in there any longer, he is fully rested. He is then fully awake when a scream echoes through the room, keeping one eye on Jim Spock goes to the door, he opens it to find a Klingon running from Ambassador Kirk's room, he hesitates slightly before he exits the bedroom and locks the door, Spock quietly slips into ambassador kirk's room. He is horrified by what he sees, there is blood everywhere and lying on the bed with her throat cut and her eyes still wide open is Winona Kirk-Castran; she is dead.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

A/N: This chapter took longer than I thought, it just did not want to come together. This is a two parter.

Spock unlocks the door to his and Jim's rooms and slips back inside, Jim is still fast asleep and so Spock goes to him and gently wakes him up. It doesn't take Jim long to awaken.

"Spock what's wrong?"

"Jim there has been a murder."

"What? Who?"

"I am sorry Jim but it is your mother."

Jim's heart stops beating and tears start to fall from his eyes, although she had never loved him, he had always loved her. Spock climbs onto the bed to wrap his arms around his mate after grabbing his communicator to call security and Dr McCoy to investigate who killed Winona. Spock calls them down quickly whilst he holds Jim in his arms until his mate has stopped crying, he tells them about the Klingon he saw leaving Winona's room.

"I'm sorry Spock, I don't even know why I am crying, she never loved me."

"And that Jim is the reason for which you are crying."

Spock places a kiss on Jim's forehead before pulling away. Jim wipes his tears away, he sits there head lowered, looking morose.

"What happens now?"

"You will be beamed up with my father to the ship, I will not have you in danger, you will stay with Sarek and Syrek until we have caught the perpetrator."

Jim lifts his head up.

"I want to stay and help."

"I know and understand Jim, however I must follow protocols and as a family member I can not allow you to participate. I also need to make sure that you will be safe, I saw a Klingon leaving your mothers quarters shortly before I found her, it does not mean that the Klingon's are behind it however if they are I need you to be safe Ashayam, I cannot lose you."

Spock strokes Jim's cheek lovingly, Jim leans into the touch to Spock's delight (it still surprises Spock that Jim will allow these touches).

"I will call my father and then you will beamed up, once on the ship Jim please be careful. Never allow yourself to be caught unawares."

Jim can see how scared Spock is for him, so he nods and promises to stay with either Sarek or Syrek at all times. Spock calls his father and basically orders him to stay with Jim, Sarek raises his eyebrow but otherwise doesn't comment, Jim gives Spock's hand a quick squeeze before going over to stand by Sarek and he waits for Spock to call up to the ship.

It doesn't take long for the transporter chief to get a lock and Jim and Sarek are taken in the transporter beam, once they are gone Spock allows himself to sigh out loud, the knowledge that his mate and unborn child are safe for the moment calms him and he can organise his mind in order to solve this crime and to hopefully keep the treaty intact, he wished that he had seen the face of the Klingon more clearly, Kaiidth, what is, is. Once Spock's mind is organised he sets off on his first port of call on this investigation; Winona Kirk-Castran's room. Spock swiftly makes his way into the room where he can see the security/forensics team working, both searching the scene for evidence and questioning Winona's husband and son. He can also see Dr McCoy is giving a cursory exam of the body, Spock heads straight over to McCoy first.

"Dr McCoy."

McCoy lifts his head and looks at Spock.

"Where's Jim?"

"I sent him back onto the ship, it is not safe for him and our child."

"Good idea, how did he take the news?"

"He is grieving."

"I thought as much, he still hoped that they could reconcile, that she would finally love him. Poor kid."

Spock inclines his head.

"Indeed, however I am here to solve the murder of his mother, perhaps that will help with the grief."

"Did killing Nero help your grief?"

Spock looks away, the pain of his mothers loss still hurting although it is getting easier to deal with every day, especially since he spoke to her in his hallucination.

"It... it does not."

McCoy looks at Spock with caring and compassion for the first time since the loss of Vulcan, Spock notices and it makes him feel infinitesimally better.

"I didn't think it did. Do you want to go be with Jim? The forensics team can investigate this without you."

Spock looks away for a second before looking straight into McCoy's eyes.

"I do not, I wish for Jim to be safe, this person may have meant to kill Jim but entered the wrong room."

McCoy shakes his head.

"No they were definitely after her, I estimate that she had been dead for at least two hours before you heard the scream and came to investigate."

Spock looks confused, McCoy smiles.

"I do not understand how could I have heard her scream if she was already deceased?"

McCoy shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't know you'd have to ask one of the guys. I'll have more information after I have performed the autopsy."

McCoy points at one of the men in red-shirts. Spock nods at McCoy and walks over to Lieutenant Giotto who is knelt by one of the many planters in the room."

"Lieutenant Giotto report."

Giotto stands up.

"So far we have found no indications of a struggle, either she was attacked whilst she was asleep or she knew her attacker. We have located a recorder that has the victim screaming on it, it was attached to the door. It was rigged to go off whenever the door was opened from the outside, whoever opened it would have heard it as the room is soundproofed and you would not have been able to hear it otherwise. We have also found some torn fabric which was caught on one of these plants. I'll send it to the science labs to be analysed."

Spock nods his understanding and decides to look around the room himself, he takes a a quick look where he can already see that the room has been staged, although there is plenty of blood, Spock doubts that this is the room in which Winona died. Spock stops walking when he can feel a draft coming from inside the room, it does not take long before he sees a barely noticeable door hidden in one of the walls, Spock presses lightly against the door and it swings open. Spock walks through the door way and finds himself in an almost identical room to the one he has just left, Spock has a quick look around before turning around to speak to the security team as he has spotted blood on the floor by the bed which is barely noticeable to the human eye, however when Spock tries to open the door it does not budge apparently it only opens from the other side. Spock leaves the room through an alternate exit, to find himself standing opposite his own quarters, he knows then that these quarters belong to Frank; Winona's husband.

Spock goes back into the crime scene and asks lieutenant Giotto to send a team through to the other room. The lieutenant complies but before they can investigate a group of Klingon's enter the room. Keren is in front, he demands to know what has happened, Spock asks that they speak in private, Keren agrees and they go into Spock's quarters. Spock explains what has happened to Winona to him carefully and slowly but when he gets to the part about wishing to speak to the Klingon who alerted Spock to the room, Keren refuses claiming that they are just going to blame the Klingon for Winona's death. Spock denies that claim saying that they already have a suspect and it is not a Klingon, he just wants to know why he entered the quarters of an ambassador, Spock says that Keren can stay with the Klingon at all times through out the questioning to make sure that everything is fair. Finally Keren relents and agrees and sends for the Klingon who found the body.

The two aliens sit and wait in silence for about ten minutes although Keren keeps posturing and trying to show that he is a dominant male, Spock just raises an eyebrow at him as if to say 'you wish'. When Keren realises that it is not working he sits quietly and subdued as he realises that Spock can see through his act although once the Klingon is brought in he immediately become more annoying and attempts again to show he is the dominate male, this time it works but only for the Klingon who has just been brought into the room. Spock takes a good long look at the new Klingon and notices four things, one it's a female, two she's young, very young only about thirteen or fourteen years old, three she is absolutely terrified although she is doing a very good job of it and four she is not the Klingon who Spock saw leaving Winona's room.

Spock looks at Keren and glares, Keren backs off a bit, he remembers the stories of pre-reform Vulcan from his childhood.

"This is not the person I saw running from Ambassador Winona Kirk-Castran's room. The Klingon I saw was a male and much older that this child you have brought to me. If you do not co-operate I will suggest that the treaty be broken as you will not be trusted on any federation planet."

Keren swallows loudly before ordering the girl to leave. He looks away from Spock before he decides to answer.

"The Klingon you saw was me, I was there to speak to Winona personally as I wished to know about her son however when I got there she was already dead, I knew that if a Klingon was seen in the room it could jeopardise the treaty we have. I did not kill her, she is the mother of the man who avenged the death of my son, I would not dishonour him in that way."

Spock doesn't believe him.

"Why would you go to her so early in the morning?"

"The negotiations started early in the morning, I had become used to speaking with her in the early hours, I realise that it was rude now but I did not think at the time."

"Indeed?"

The rest of the conversation goes quite quickly with Spock gaining no new information, Spock decides to check on the security team again before beaming up for the autopsy results. The team have found human DNA in the room that does not belong to Winona, they have again sent it up to the science labs. They have also found what appears to be the murder weapon a kut'luch – a Klingon knife- covered in blood which has also been sent up to the ship. Once he has finished speaking to Giotto, he reminds them to be careful and then Spock calls up to the ship for a beam out.

TBC

Please, please review.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

A/N: This two parter just became a three parter. Another cliffhanger for you all. I hope you enjoy.

Once Spock has been beamed up to the ship he first checks on Jim, when he is satisfied that Jim is well and safe (he is aware that it goes against protocol but if some one dared to tell him that he would probably kill them) he then heads to the morgue on deck 16, the morgue is situated far away from crew living quarters and it has it's own air supply in case of a contagion being brought on board on a body, this is just in case that the body was not decontaminated before being beamed up (so far on the Enterprise this had not happened as the crew were still new and trying to get everything right although sometimes they make mistakes).

Spock goes through the decontamination area before heading into the autopsy room, he arrives just in time for McCoy's report on his findings.

"Ah Spock right on time as always. I think I have something that will surprise you."

Spock raises his eyebrow, McCoy rolls his eyes.

"Indeed. However Vulcan's do not feel surprise."

McCoy rolls his eyes again and mutters under his breath, something that sounds remarkably like 'of course not you pointy-eared hobgoblin' but Spock could not be sure. Spock enjoys this banter between them, not that he would ever admit it, especially as it is now more about one up-man-ship rather than cruelty although sometimes McCoy would still be cruel letting Spock know that he hadn't completely forgiven him yet.

"Anyway, I can tell you that there was some heavy sedatives in her bloodstream, there was no way that she would have been awake during her murder and so she would not have been able to fight back. Also she died of asphyxiation not exsanguination, someone strangled her and moments after she died they started to cut into her with a blade to try and cover it up."

"Are you certain doctor?"

McCoy glares at Spock.

"Spock I'm a doctor I know what I am talking about. Now go find out who killed Jim's mother so you can put them away in the brig and you can hurry up and comfort Jim."

Spock inclines his head before turning 180 degrees and going out the same way he came in, all the while think on who could have done this to a defenceless woman, sure Spock hated her with every fibre of his being as she had never been there for Jim (Spock had one of the highest recorded IQ scores on Vulcan and so he knew that two and two make four, it was obvious by the look on his face that he had never seen his sister before, at least it was to Sarek as Spock had not been there at that time, and his sister is approximately seven years old so that would mean that Jim had not seen his family for a minimum of eight years) and had denied him to a room full of people.

Spock makes way up to his second most favourite part of the ship (Jim is first of course, not that Vulcan's have favourites that would be illogical), the science labs. When Spock was the science officer on board Pike's ship he had spent almost all his spare time in the science labs as he mistakenly believed that it would be better to spend all his time on his own, that the humans were not intelligent enough to keep up with him but know he knew that it was wrong because Jim and the crew proved it to him everyday, some where even more intelligent than the average Vulcan although they expressed their genius through different forms and expressions.

The scientists were the first ones on board to forgive Spock (after Jim and Nyota, even though Nyota never really blamed him in the first place she had given him what he had needed; forgiveness for breaking up their relationship and they both knew it) when they had found out about Pon-Farr, they had realised like Nyota that he wasn't in control of his actions and so they went back to being cordial and awe inspired of him which had not gone down with the rest of the ship. More and more people were forgiving him and becoming polite to him once again, which had helped with the efficiency of the ship and with his own conscience.

He is pleased to find that all the necessary tests have already been taken care of and they are just waiting on the results before they can test any DNA against a suspect. Although the ship carries DNA samples for every member of the crew and any guests who are on board they cannot use them in a criminal investigation as their main purpose is to identify the crew if something should happen to them that is so destructive that DNA is the only means of identifying them, this is because of a great number of people were falsely accused of murder when their DNA had been found at a crime scene and were only given a chance to clear their name in court (Some bureaucrat thought that it would mean that they would no longer need police officers any more) so now they had to conduct investigations much like they did in the past and only ask for DNA from the suspect.

However with the advances in technology they could now pinpoint the suspects age and the rough location where someone was born as there are slight variations in their genomes according to where they lived, this was especially easier to pinpoint after the eugenics war.

The results do not take long to come through to the screen Spock has stood in front of, they have compared all the DNA found on the crime scene, most of it is from a 56 year old human male from Iowa and then there is some semen that is from the newest member of the federation; the Klingon's. This narrows down their suspects from the entire ship to one human and a Klingon, it will be a small matter to get the DNA from the human suspect but it will take a great deal of diplomacy to find out which Klingon on a planet with billions is the one they are looking for. Although Spock has a hypothesis of who the Klingon is, so he collects up the data and transfers it onto a small PADD and after thanking the scientists he heads back down to the planet where he requests a meeting with Keren again.

It does not take long for Keren to agree to a meeting and to arrive at the crime scene where Frank is still being asked questions and he doesn't look happy. Spock watches the interactions between his two suspects, they clearly don't like each other and Spock wonders why, it doesn't take much for the dirty looks they have been throwing at each other to turn into a fist fight. Spock hangs back for a second which allows Keren to break a few of Frank's bones before he forces them apart.

"Enough, Keren I ask you to go into the room across the hall."

Spock looks at Frank, there is blood pouring from his broken nose and face from cuts caused by Keren's rings, he feels some satisfaction at Frank's injuries after all this was what Frank had tried to do to Jim. Spock shifts his gaze to lieutenant Giotto.

"Lieutenant beam him up to sickbay to have his injuries looked over."

One of Giotto's men, the one Jim apparently calls Cupcake comes over and takes Frank off Spock's hands and moves away, Giotto moves forward and lowers his voice.

"Is he a suspect?"

Spock answers equally lowers his voice.

"Indeed but I do not wish for him to know that he is."

Giotto gives a salute before joining Frank and cupcake and beaming aboard the ship. Spock turns his attention back to Keren who has not left the room.

"I believe I requested you to go to the room across from here, did I not?"

Keren scowls at Spock, a fearsome look to be sure but Spock just raises his eyebrow as he is still unimpressed which makes Keren scowl even more.

"You do not have authority to order me from the room."

Spock allows a quirk of his lips.

"Indeed, however it was both in your best interests and for us to speak more privately, I have more questions for you."

"Fine."

Keren leaves the room, Spock watches thinking that maybe this treaty was the best idea the federation had agreed upon. Spock walks swiftly after Keren who has already taken a seat on the bed.

"What questions do you have for me?"

As is normally usual Spock cuts straight to the heart of the matter.

"Were you having an affair with Ambassador Kirk-Castran?"

Keren looks shocked.

"How... how did you know?"

"We found semen on the sheets. Would you now like to tell me the truth?"

Again Keren scowled but this time is was much less fearsome.

"We were having an affair, I was going to join you on your journey back to Earth as an ambassador, and Winona was going to leave her husband. I was staying in her room at night, I had already told that petaQ that they would not be aloud to share quarters as she was not to be distracted by anything, we were sleeping when I received a notice from one of my captains about Romulus and had to leave, I was gone longer than I expected and when I returned she was already dead. If he is the one who did this you will not need to hold a trial as I will punish him myself."

"That will not be necessary, under federation law he is innocent until proven guilty by his peers. It is a law that your planet will have agreed to as well."

Keren takes a sip of water from the glass on the bedside table and smirks at Spock before he stands up.

"Of course but these things take time and there will always be hiccups along the way. I think that we are done here."

"Indeed."

Spock bows his head and Keren leaves, Spock immediately calls in one of the security team members to come and collect the glass from the bedside table, once done he has it beamed to the science labs to be tested against the Klingon semen. Spock beams up to the ship at the same time, he heads to sickbay to ask Frank some questions.

When Spock arrives at sickbay it is in uproar, furniture has been smashed, half the beds are up on end and George is standing in the middle of the room and has somehow managed to get a hold of a phaser and he is pointing it at Frank. Cupcake is on the floor by McCoy's office, blood coming out of one ear, Spock is unsure of whether he is still alive or not. McCoy and M'Benga are trying to protect the nurses by standing in front of them, Spock has a moment of being impressed by their bravery, not many men (in his opinion) would stand in front of a madman with a gun(or phaser in this case).

"I didn't do it, I didn't kill your mother."

George has heard Spock come in and he turns to point the phaser at him, Spock freezes, he can see that the phaser is not set to stun.

"Don't you dare come any closer or I'm gonna kill you."

George turns back to Frank with a snarl but keeps one eye on Spock, Frank is desperately begging for his life, still saying that he didn't kill Winona, that he loved her and would never hurt her. Spock watches as George's fingers tighten and he bravely steps forward hoping that the phaser fire will set of an alarm and a security team will come running, George whirls around and fires, Spock takes it in the chest. Spock's last thought is for Jim and their child and then everything goes black.

TBC

Please review.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

A/N: Bonus Chapter, because I love all my readers (and my life sucks at the moment). Enjoy. Oh and for the ambassadors rooms imagine expensive hotel decoration (I.E drapes at the windows, big for poster beds etc.) Another cliffhanger for you all because I am evil Mu Ha Ha Haaaaaa (Evil laugh).

Jim had spent the last few hours on the ship in Spock's quarters with Sarek and Syrek, they had played several games of chess with each other, Jim and Syrek were tied for wins and were currently in a stalemate. Jim had enjoyed spending time with Sarek more than he thought he would, Jim knows that even in pre-reform Vulcan family was important which is why Spock can trust his father to protect Jim. Syrek had been careful not to touch Jim as their scents were slightly different and could cause Spock to become extremely territorial and violent, and at his age Syrek really does not wish to be involved in a fight to the death.

Syrek knew that Spock was still insecure in his relationship with Jim and that he kept expecting Syrek to take Jim away from him, which is something that Syrek would never do, he had his T'hy'la and he doesn't want to replace him in his heart with someone else no matter how wonderful they are, he was just going to have to prove it to him some how.

They were just setting up for a fifth game between them, Jim had just gotten refreshments for them all when he suddenly dropped the drinks that he was carrying and clutched at his head crying out in pain.

"Spock!"

Then he collapsed, fortunately Sarek was standing near Jim when Jim passed out and so was able to catch him, Sarek picks Jim up and carries him to the bed whilst Syrek attempts to speak to sickbay, after three attempts at getting through to speak to McCoy, Syrek decides that he will go to sickbay to make sure that everything is al-right. After letting Sarek know where he is going, Syrek leaves the room and heads to sickbay, it doesn't take him long to get there. When Syrek enters the sickbay he is shocked to see his counterpart on the floor, there is some slight movement of his chest that is only noticeable to a Vulcan meaning that he is still alive, at least for now. Syrek looks around the room, not much has changed since Spock had come into the room, except now he is a hostage. Syrek could see the wound on Spock's chest clearly and it is obviously a phaser burn which makes him wonder why the alarms have not gone off. Cupcake is still lying where Spock saw him and he still hasn't moved, Frank is lying on the biobed, Syrek can tell that he is dead.

Syrek is also spotted as he enters the room, George glares at him, Syrek looks upon the face of a dead man once again. It is quite unnerving (even for a Vulcan) to have a phaser pointed at you, especially when it is set to kill, so Syrek automatically takes a step back. Syrek has to try and think of a way to get everyone out alive and then an idea comes to him, it takes him less than a second to come up with a plan from when he entered the room and so decides to act like an old Vulcan (not that he isn't, he just doesn't like acting his own age, he hasn't since the night that he bonded with Jim Kirk, unless it was on duty of course).

Syrek makes his way over to Spock and ignores George who is ranting and raving about him being in the room and not listening to him. He checks to see if Spock is alive and if he is how badly injured is he. Syrek pretends not understand a word that George is saying.

"Oi, I said stop, I'm the one in control here. You do what I tell you to."

Syrek is thankful that his face is turned away from George as he could not keep back a smirk at the rank arrogance from this individual. His smirk turns into a smile when he sees that his counterpart is conscious, he has a bad injury but it is nothing that doctors could not take care of, once they're not hostages that is, although it would take several hours in surgery. Syrek allows his hand to touch Spock's so that they can communicate with each other.

_/How badly injured are you?\_

_/I am am healthy enough to help take that 'man' down, unfortunately I am to far from him and he is liable to take another shot.\_

_/Indeed, I have come with a plan and I need you to help, I need you to contact your T'hy'la. You need to waken him, let him know that you are well.\_

He gets an eyebrow raise for his trouble.

_/He will need reassurance.\_

At Spock's nod Syrek transmits his relatively simplistic plan to distract George and both Vulcan's set the plan in motion; starting with Syrek who speaks a lot of questions very quickly in Vulcan, confusing George. M'Benga has heard what Syrek has been saying and as he studied on Vulcan for a number of years he understands what is being said, unfortunately for George the Vulcan language is not kept on the translator chip as it is deemed to well known (it is one of the mandatory languages taught at schools in the federation along with standard and Andorian and as he always skipped the xenolingustics lessons he never learnt Vulcan according to Jim, which is what Syrek is counting on) so he doesn't know that Syrek has just called him several unmentionable names and insults along with telling M'Benga their plan, which makes M'Benga smile.

At the same time Spock is communicating with Jim, demanding that Jim stays in his quarters as he doesn't want to lose them both and that it is not a good time for a family reunion as George is a bit trigger happy and does not like Jim.

"What the hell is he saying?"

M'Benga bravely takes a step forward, McCoy moves to protect the other nurses.

"He is asking why this Vulcan has not been treated, and why you are holding everyone hostage."

"Well why doesn't he say that in standard then?"

M'Benga asks Syrek if he really thinks that Spock is up to doing his end of the bargain because he looks seriously ill, of course he asks this in Vulcan so George doesn't know. Syrek takes a look at Spock and realises that he isn't going to be much good in a fight, their hearts may be where humans livers are but there are still plenty of vulnerable organs in their chests and it is apparent that one or more have been damaged. Syrek asks Spock to tell him the truth, when Spock admits that he cannot go through with the plan, Syrek is forced to change it. When Spock speaks George is shocked he thought that he had killed him instantly.

"What the hell are they talking about?"

M'Benga has watched their exchange closely, he knows that Spock will die if they don't treat him soon.

"They are discussing Spock's health, Spock is dying, you missed his heart and now he is suffering."

George smirks.

"Good I hope so, maybe when we are done here, I'll go pay his little fucktoy a visit."

M'Benga pulls his eyes from the commander and looks at George.

"Why are you doing this?"

George is about to answer when Aurelan comes running in with Peter in her arms and Jessica right beside her, Aurelan ignores all the people in the room until she lies Peter down on the bed and calls out for a doctor, Peter lies sobbing on the bed clutching his left arm which is bent in an unnatural way. When she doesn't get an answer she looks around and sees what George has done, she is horrified by the carnage she sees.

"George what have you done?"

George doesn't answer he looks shocked, taking his chance McCoy bravely walks over to Peter, to find out what has happened, it doesn't look good. His left arm is so badly broken that the bone has come through the skin, blood is pouring from Peter's arm, McCoy starts to bandage it, he knows that is only a stop gap measure, he needs to get this boy into surgery. Syrek watches the scene unfold, he notices that the arm holding the phaser is getting lower and lower, maybe he wont need to tackle the man to disarm him after all.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"He was climbing up the drapes on the windows and they couldn't hold his weight and they collapsed, he fell and landed on his arm."

"Okay, we're are going to have to take him into surgery..."

McCoy is interrupted by a high pitched girls scream, he looks around and sees Jessica frantically trying to wake her father.

"Daddy please wake up, please daddy, I'll be good I promise please wake up, please. I promise I wont be bad any more, please."

The little girl bursts into tears, she pulls at McCoy's heart strings, there is not much of an age gap between her and Joanna. George watches his family disintegrate before his eyes, he was so mad because he knew that Frank had killed his mom but then he has just killed his own sister's father, he watches her attempt to wake up her dad with tears in his eyes, he drops the phaser to the floor and M'Benga rushes to pick it up before pointing it at George and asking one of the nurses to call for both a security team and the off duty doctor.

Syrek had turned back towards Spock once George had been disarmed and he was alarmed to see how pale Spock was.

"Dr M'Benga, Spock needs surgery now or he will not survive."

Fortunately there are two operating tables and so the two of them are rushed into theatre as soon as the security team turns up with the off duty doctor, the doctor heads straight over to cupcake and feels for a pulse, there is one but it is slight.

M'Benga once again takes the lead on Spock's care and with one of his specialities being paediatrics McCoy takes care of Peter. George is detained and then taken to the brig whilst Aurelan tries to comfort her sister in law. Spock starts to go into cardiac arrest on the table.

"We're losing him."

TBC


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

A/N: Apologies for the wait guys, stupid computer deleted everything on my hard drive so I had to re write this chapter. Jim talks about his family with Spock and we see just how cruel his life has been so far. And yay for TOS/movie references. I hope you like it.

_He walked downstairs filled with happiness, his mom was home and it was his birthday, he was going to be five years old. Sam had just had his birthday and he got lots of cool presents so Jim was looking forward to having some as well. Jim enters the kitchen to find there was no one there and there was no presents either, Jim looks confused, he had heard his mom and Frank and Sam get up and move about, Jim went to the back door to see if they were in the yard. The door was locked and there was no one outside, so Jim makes his way to the front door, that too is locked. Jim searches the whole house for his family but he cant find them, Jim sits own on the lowest step of the staircase, he starts to cry because he is scared and alone. But then he thinks that maybe they went out to buy him some presents and with that thought he perks up and waits patiently for them to come home._

_/Jim wake up T'hy'la\\_

Jim opens his eyes to find Spock is finally awake and he is carding his hand through Jim's hair. They are in sickbay in what is affectionately called the Jim Kirk room, it has been three long days since George had killed Frank and shot Spock. Cupcake had made a complete recover and was now back on duty. Jim had stayed at Spock's bedside ever since he had come out of surgery, never once leaving his side. George had been confined to the brig and Jim had not once gone down to see him, Aurelan had also not visited him and had filed for a divorce, George was nothing like the man she had thought she married, Peter had made a full recovery and had been released back to his quarters. Jessica was staying with Aurelan for the next few weeks until they got back to Earth where a court will decide who she will stay with. Winona's and Frank's bodies had both been moved to the stasis chambers in the morgue so that they could be buried on Earth.

The ship was on it's way back to Earth to take the Ambassadors back to the federation council, fortunately after Winona's murder the treaty was still upheld and to prove it they offered help with repairs which Jim accepted although he made sure that they were properly supervised (you don't just start trusting old enemies overnight, the Klingon's had understood and accepted it with grace or at least as much grace as a Klingon could muster, it had however resulted in several members of the security team being proposed). The repairs had taken up the last few days and so Jim was not needed to be in command, the Klingon's knew that they were a couple and so understood when Jim put Scotty in charge.

Jim smiles at Spock and Spock allows a hint of a smile to show on his face, which cheers Jim up considerably as he always hates dreaming about his childhood.

"Jim was that a memory or just a dream?"

Jim remembers the first time that Spock mentioned that when they slept together Spock would be able to pick up on Jim's dreams as his telepathic abilities work even when he is sleeping and as Jim practically fell asleep on top of Spock it would have not been hard to pick up his mates dream. Jim clears his throat.

"It was a memory Spock."

Spock continues to card his hand through his mate's hair.

"What happened afterwards?"

Jim takes a deep breath as McCoy enters the room, McCoy knows almost everything about Jim and his fucked-up family, so he already knows this story

"I stayed waiting on that step all day, they didn't come home until about eight o'clock that evening. It was the first time I realised that I was not considered a part of the family. It was the first time that they left me in the house on my own as well but it wasn't the last."

Spock feels his heart fill with emotion for his T'hy'la. He cannot understand why they never loved him or why they treated him so badly. McCoy checks on Spock's vitals and gives Jim a squeeze on the shoulder at the same time.

"I never did get any presents, I didn't even know what Christmas was until I was ten, never knew why people celebrated it as I was always locked in my room. Until I met bones I had never received a Christmas or birthday present. I never understood why they hated me so much, it turns out that they blamed me for George's death because if Winona hadn't been pregnant they wouldn't have needed the extra money and so wouldn't have been on the Kelvin."

"That is illogical."

The shock Spock feels is almost overwhelming, even he had celebrated Christmas and his birthdays with his mother and he had exchanged gifts with both his parents although he knew that Sarek was reluctant about it.

"I know but it was the way they felt."

"That does not make it right."

Spock pulls Jim onto the bed and out of the chair he was sitting in and then wraps his arms around the most wonderful person in the universe.

"I know, but for the longest time I did, I kept hoping that one day they would look at me and be proud but it never happened, finally on my thirteenth birthday I got fed up of not being wanted and being unloved so I decided to end it all. I stole the keys to my biological fathers car and drove it off a cliff but I couldn't end my life so at the last minute I jumped out. Frank was so pissed off when he found out what I had done to the car that when I got home he beat me half to death and then I was shipped off to Tarsus. They didn't even care that I was there during the famine, when I had arrived back on Earth on one of the rescue ships they didn't even come and visit me at the hospital. I had survived one of the most terrible things that a person can go through but they still didn't care. After I was released from hospital I filed for emancipation from Winona, it took a while for the courts to agree and I spent that time in a group foster care. When I moved out I got my own place, I was still in iowa but I was far enough away from them that it didn't matter, I decided that I wanted to do something good with my life so that George at least would be proud of me and so I threw myself into my lessons and graduated with honours from high school at fifteen. I spent the next few years at university and got three degrees in Engineering, astrophysics and advanced mathematics. I never intended on even joining star fleet as I believed that it had taken my family away from me before I even had a chance to know it."

Spock looks adoringly confused (at least to Jim, McCoy would have argued otherwise).

"Then why did you?"

"My life had been going great at that point, I was twenty one, I had a job I enjoyed and was in a relationship with a beautiful woman named Carol Marcus, I thought she was the one right up until she found out she was pregnant and had an abortion without telling me. It turned out that she didn't see me as someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, she just wanted me because I was semi famous because of my father. We broke up and I thought that I would never love again."

"Ashayam, I am so sorry."

Jim smiles at Spock. McCoy has pulled up a chair, he knows that Jim needs him here that he needs someone he can trust which is why he has always shown Jim how much he cares even when it goes against his nature.

"Yeah well, I did end up falling in love again a few months later, I guess it proves that me and Carol weren't meant to be, again it was with a beautiful woman, her name was Lori Ciani and this time she really did love me for who I was and not who I was related to. We moved in together and were planning on getting married when one day she was on her way back from seeing her mother when there was a transporter malfunction, she died instantly and yet again I was left alone with a broken heart, from then on I got into fight after fight in bars and I was spending my time either pissed of my face or in jail until pike found me in a bar one night and took me under his wing, I met bones the next day on the shuttle to Star fleet."

"I grieve with thee."

Jim lies down on the bed next to Spock with his head on Spock's chest, who covers him with the blanket, Jim yawns and closes his eyes, both physically and emotionally exhausted.

"Thanks Spock but I'm over it now."

With that Jim falls into a deep sleep again but this time with no dreams or at least not the ones he will talk about in front of McCoy (unless he feels McCoy deserves some torture for what ever reason). McCoy gets up from the chair and checks on Jim, he ruffles Jim's hair when he realises that Jim is fast asleep before shooting a glare at Spock as if to say 'don't you dare tell anyone you pointy-eared hobgoblin'. Spock ignores his glare and pulls Jim closer before closing his own eyes and drifting off peacefully to sleep. McCoy smiles at the pair of them before checking once again at Spock's vitals and leaving the young couple to sleep, he signs off on his paperwork in his office before heading back to his quarters where his daughter and Christine are waiting for him.

TBC

I once again apologise for the wait, Please review.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

A/N: Another update for you all I hope you enjoy, I have no idea how many chapters there are left as you can tell from this chapter that there are even more problems to come.

Four days after Spock first woke up he is released back to his quarters, Sarek had paid several visits to his son whilst Spock was in sickbay and so their relationship was getting better all the time especially with the help of Jim and a new member to the clan, mostly because Sarek had defended Jim from his biological family (Sarek, Syrek, Spock, T'Pau and the crew of the USS Enterprise was Jim's true family). Spock was nervous leaving sickbay, not because of any injuries or illnesses but because he was planning on making a meal for Jim and asking him if they can move in together. Spock hoped that Jim would say yes but there is still a chance that Jim will turn him down and that is what is making his nervous (if he wasn't Vulcan he might admit that he was actually terrified), they had been sharing quarters for the last couple of weeks because Jim's quarters were still damaged as more important repairs had to take precedence however Spock did not want Jim to move out of 'their' quarters even when the repairs are finished.

Spock was released at the start of Alpha shift whilst Jim was on duty on the bridge which meant that he had eight hours to prepare the meal and to make his quarters presentable to Jim (Jim only had a few more weeks before his hours would be cut in half due to the pregnancy, Spock was surprised that Jim had managed to last this long as he had heard, whether rightly or wrongly, that females would be significantly more tired and more willing to hand over the reigns to someone else at least that is what he found out during his research and reading). He was met at sickbay by Nyota who was his partner in crime, he had to tell her because he needed her help in order to make the date perfect and if all went well in a couple of months he was going to ask Jim to bond with him legally on New Vulcan and perhaps have a Terran wedding on board the ship so that the crew and maybe Pike can be a part of it, as Vulcan bonding ceremonies were extremely intimate and only a few close friends would be invited like Nyota and McCoy. He had also told Nyota because she was his best friend and he wished to increase the friendship bond between them.

Spock was anxious to see Jim again as he disliked having him out of his sight, he knew that Jim was safe on his own ship (at least now Winona and Frank were dead and George was in the brig) but Jim was an uncommonly attractive male and although the entire ship knew that they were together a handful still tried to get with Jim as they did not believe that Spock was either not good enough or they still believed that Spock was misusing his telepathic abilities to make Jim stay with him.

The crew was happy to be heading back to Earth even though they had only just left, the mission had been more taxing for everyone involved whether it was due to the Romulan's attacking, being at Kronos or just sympathising with the captain over his dysfunctional family. They were to receive two days shoreleave even though they have only just come off of a five week shoreleave (it will mean that they will most likely be on a mission over the Christmas and New year's celebrations which had upset some people but it cant be helped), so that they could be debriefed on the situation with Romulus and Kronos. Pike had informed Sarek of the real reason and had said that it was because he wanted a specialist to take a look at Jim (Spock would never be able to understand how his father managed to extract this sort of information from people who were supposedly unbreakable, although his mother did have the same trait as well). The reason Pike hadn't made Jim see the specialist before was because they had not been on Earth during their shoreleave, Sarek knew who the specialist was but he had not seen fit to share that information with either of Jim or Spock, although he had allowed himself to show pleasure at the choice.

On their way back to Spock's quarters Spock and Nyota discuss the recent mission and the impact it will have on the federation, they are careful not to discuss anything classified in case they are overheard by a member of the crew, it is also the reason why Spock will not discuss his plans for this evening, he wants it to be a surprise for Jim. Spock is much more content than he has ever been even before Vulcan's destruction so much so that Nyota can pick up on it (although that maybe because she is his longest acquaintance on board barring his father and counterpart), she doesn't comment but she does increase the frequency of smiling at him.

They arrive back at his quarters 4.68 minutes after leaving sickbay, Spock is surprised once again because the room is so tidy and he knows that Jim's quarters were completely chaotic with things everywhere (since shoreleave but before the Romulan's had attacked Spock had been in Jim's quarters six times to play chess without people staring at them) and he hadn't changed his habits when staying with Spock. So to see his quarters so tidy was a nice change for him.

Nyota starts preparing the room by replicating a table cloth and napkins and the setting up the table for a romantic meal however that is as far as they get as Lieutenant M'Ress calls down to them off the bridge stating that there is a call for Spock from Admiral Pike requesting to speak to him. Spock feels confusion coming through the bond from Jim who doesn't understand why Pike doesn't want to speak with him, he reassures his mate before dampening the bond (if it was to do with the ship Pike would have spoken to Jim, so he knows that there is a serious problem). Spock answers the call just as Nyota is about to leave but Pike spots her and asks her to stay as well after making her promise that she will not reveal the details of this call to anyone else on or off the ship including to Jim, Pike knows that Spock would not tell anyone as he wishes to protect Jim.

"I know you are wondering why I called and the truth is that we have a major problem."

Before he can continue Spock interrupts.

"Are you certain that this line is secure Admiral?"

"Yeah it is, when Syrek was staying with me he created a code that is virtually unbreakable especially at the moment."

Spock doesn't know what to think about his counterpart once again interfering with the time line until he hears what the problem is and then he is grateful for his counterparts meddling. Nyota moves from behind Spock and sits down next to him.

"What's happened?"

"Do you remember how we were conducting an investigation into the crash that killed Dr McCoy's ex-wife?"

Both Spock and Nyota replied in the affirmative, like Spock was going to forget the fact that his T'hy'la had almost died without him there to try and protect him, Nyota remembers because she is Joanna's favourite baby-sitter, it's also the reason why she now wants children whereas before she just wanted to focus on her career.

"It turns out that it was not an accident but a deliberate act of sabotage, the person who arranged the crash was trying to kill them. The star fleet forensics team also discovered that it was set so that it would crash ten minutes after take off when Jim's bio-signature was in the vehicle, what I am saying is that the person they tried to kill was Jim and we know who it is. It is former Admiral Komack, unfortunately we have not been able to arrest and detain Komack as he fled the planet before the investigation was concluded, we have also found evidence that he has been in league with the Romulan's."

Pike pauses and watches the shock come over both of their faces before continuing.

"Komack is dangerous, he has friends in high places on lots of different world's, I need you both to keep an eye out, I don't know why Komack hates Jim so much but he definitely has an agenda. I would try and convince Jim to stay on Earth but I know he would never accept that. Spock don't let anything happen to him, if you keep him safe I will forgive you for what happened, he gets hurt and I will blame you."

Nyota goes to interrupt as she feels that is unfair on Spock but Pike holds up his hand forestalling her outburst. Spock seems unperturbed but inside he is furiously fighting to contain his rage at Komack, perhaps if they come face to face he will suffer the same fate as Kodos did, although maybe not in front of Jim, he will not allow anyone to hurt Jim again.

"I will transfer on some extra security, ones who we can trust. Don't let Jim know or he'll want to go after him. Keep him safe."

Pike signs off leaving two very horrified officers behind.

TBC

I hope you enjoyed this chapter please review.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

A/N: Bonus Chapter! You guys are so lucky. I feel so sorry for Jim in this chapter... Not. Lol. Date Night and I have yet another chance to show how evil I am as this chapter has another cliffhanger.

Jim had arrived on the bridge feeling happy, Spock was being released from sickbay today and he hoped that they could maybe have some fun tonight as long as there are no attacks. They were two weeks out from Earth on the edge of Federation space and were making good progress, he was happy to that there was no sign of any Romulan's in their sector of space.

Jim spends the first few minutes of the bridge filling out paperwork, it's his least favourite part of the job because it is just so tedious.

"Sir we are receiving a encrypted call from Admiral Pike."

Jim turns to his lieutenant.

"I'll take it in my ready room."

Before he can lift himself out of his chair (he's getting very big by now) lieutenant M'Ress tells him that Pike wishes not to speak with him but with Commander Spock. Jim orders the call to be transferred to Spock before turning back to his paper work, he feels confused why wouldn't Pike want to speak to him? He goes to send a message through their bond to Spock when he feels the bond dampen and it feels like he has been completely cut off as he cannot hear or feel Spock in his mind, panic grips him and he has to fight himself for control so that he doesn't completely lose it on the bridge, he knows that they are still connected but it feels so different know that he wants Spock in his mind. They had both learnt how to shield their minds from one another so that they could have private conversations with other people, this was especially important for Jim who had access to a lot more classified material then Spock due to his rank.

After what feels like eternity but in reality is only about fifteen minutes the bond flares back into life and Jim breathes a sigh of relief, Spock feels how scared Jim was and sends his mate his apologies. Jim slowly lets himself relax and turns back to doing his work. Jim would have asked Spock about what had happened during his lunch break but unfortunately there was a problem in engineering and Scotty asked him to help out.

The afternoon part of his shift was spent much in the same way as the morning; doing paperwork and worrying about why Pike had called the ship only to talk to Spock and not him. There were a couple of times when he almost dozed off during the lull of paperwork and only managed to stay awake because the baby kept kicking, it was almost as though she knew that her daddy shouldn't be sleeping on the job, she does have a telepathic parent and it could be quite possible that she knows exactly what she is doing.

Jim is now 22 weeks pregnant and looking forward to the changes in his life that will come once he has given birth although he cant wait to get rid of some of the side effects of being pregnant like the constant indigestion or God forbid the constipation. He is showing more than a pregnant woman would show at this time because the implant is slightly higher up in his body.

Finally it is the end of his shift and Jim allows himself to yawn before pulling himself out of his chair, maybe he should do as McCoy says and reduce his shift by two hours but then he probably wouldn't hear the end of it and it wouldn't be long before McCoy was telling him to cut down to only four hours a day and that just isn't feasible at the moment. He thinks that it's a shame that he doesn't have a bath so he can soak his swollen feet or his aching back maybe when they go in for another re-fit he can ask to have one put in but they are not due another upgrade like that for another year. Spock might give him a back massage and foot rub if he asked nicely, he definitely would if Jim used his puppy dog eyes on him.

Jim enters the lift with Sulu and Chekhov who are both trying desperately to hide the fact that they are now together even though the entire ship knows about it they still naively think that no one has noticed all the flirting and the late night stop overs even Spock has noticed that they are together. Jim thinks that it is quite cute and they make an adorable couple. Jim is first to get off the lift and as he goes to leave he watches out of the corner of his eye as they move closer to each other, the doors to the lift haven't even closed before they are sucking the face off of each other. Jim smiles and shakes his head before he moves towards Spock's quarters.

Spock had been amazing since letting Jim stay in his quarters even though Jim was a complete slob, he hated been told what to do and he was always being yelled at to tidy his room when he was living with Winona and her family so he had gotten into the habit of letting mess go everywhere. Hopefully his quarters will be fixed soon as he didn't want to continue being a burden on Spock, he knows Spock loves him but that doesn't mean that he wants Jim to stay in the same quarters as him.

Jim goes to enter their currently shared quarters when the door doesn't open at his command, confused Jim enters the code to get into the room but that is locked out too, so Jim thinking that maybe he got the code wrong (unfortunately had been happening all too often recently but McCoy had informed him that it was another side effect of being pregnant) he uses his Captain's code when that doesn't work Jim starts to panic, maybe he was right maybe he had missed signs that meant Spock was no longer interested in living with him, maybe this was Spock's only other way of showing Jim that he didn't want to be with him any more.

Jim rings the buzzer after taking a few minutes to pull himself together, if Spock wants to break up with him then he will have to do it face to face. It doesn't take long for the door to be opened by Spock, Jim has a ready quip on his tongue that dies when he sees what Spock is wearing. Spock had put on his favourite black cashmere top with his favourite black trousers, the results are stunning and mouth watering, all the blood rushes down from Jim's brain to his dick.

"Jim come in."

Still not able to speak Jim follows Spock inside, he is so concentrated on Spock's body that he misses the slight smirk that crosses Spock's face. When Jim is finally able to pull his eyes away from Spock he notices that the room has undergone a few changes, where before the room had lots of Vulcan artefacts lining the walls and red fabrics draping the walls, it was now filled with some of Jim's things that had been repaired and stored in stasis until his room could be fixed, his bookcase was now up against the wall nearest the bathroom and next to the bed so that Jim could read in bed as he likes to do. The few things he had been given over the last couple of years from McCoy and Lori had been placed on shelves to show them off.

Jim looks amazed and Spock smiles at the look on Jim's face, he believes that this was a good idea, the Jim looks confused and the smile falls from Spock's face.

"What is wrong Ashayam?"

Spock moves closer to Jim, he then gently pulls his mate into his arms.

"I thought you were going to kick me out, I thought didn't want me here anymore."

"Who told you this? Who made up these lies? Tell me so that I may educate them on their flawed assumption and make sure that they never see fit to spread such lies again."

Jim moves his head to get closer to Spock.

"No one told me that you didn't want me, it was just because I couldn't get in the room, I thought that this was the only way you could tell me that you don't want me anymore."

Spock places a gentle and loving kiss on Jim's forehead, and sends waves of love through their bond.

"Ashayam I wish never to be parted from you, I had to disable your codes in order to stop you entering before it was finished, I wished for it to be as perfect as you are for me. I apologise if I gave that impression but I will never give you up unless that is what you want."

Fear begins to build in Spock's mind until Jim shakes his head and tells Spock that he doesn't want to leave, then all he feels is absolute relief.

"I want to stay with you. Does this mean that we are officially living together?"

Spock's lips quirk.

"Indeed it does T'hy'la."

Jim pulls away so that they are no longer hugging but not so far that they stop touching, he leans in and gives a small kiss to Spock. Spock's heart which had just slowed to it's normal pace after being worried about Jim sped up again at the smile on Jim's face.

"Awesome. I love you."

"As I love you Jim."

Spock leads Jim over to the table where their food is waiting to be eaten after making sure that Jim is comfortable and happy, Spock sits down opposite and they both tuck into their dinner.

They are about half way through the meal when the comm whistle goes and so Spock answers it; it's Scotty and he looks scared for a lack of a better word.

"Captain, commander you are needed on the bridge, there is some sort of anomaly off the starboard side of the ship, we don't know what it is but it's definitely following us, every time we change course it changes to."

Spock looks at Jim who looks as confused as he feels, Spock quickly changes into his uniform and both men head up to the bridge.

TBC

The next chapter will probably be up next Saturday. Please review.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

A/N: I hope you enjoy and I don't think this has been done before, at least I hope it hasn't. More TOS references. There are some flashbacks in this scene, I put them in italics but I'm not sure if they've turned out right, sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Yay done a lot sooner than I though, I hope it's not too bad.

Arriving on the bridge Spock immediately heads over to his science station relieving the lieutenant who was manning the station whilst Jim takes his seat in his chair.

"Report."

"Captain it is gravimetric anomaly that has previously been unrecorded, it appears to be slightly out of sync with the rest of the universe as it has a different wave variance."

"Anything else?"

"Unfortunately at this time I am unable to provide you with more information."

Spock is suddenly filled with a great deal of pain as he feels his bond with Jim snap, he turns to the centre chair only to find that Jim is gone.

Jim wakes up on another glorious day in his cottage, he shakes himself awake.

"Man that was a weird dream. Me captain of a starship? I must finally be losing my mind."

Jim gets up and prepares himself for another day of chopping wood for his log fire and going hunting for something for dinner. He quickly gets dressed and goes downstairs where eats his breakfast of oatmeal before pulling on his jacket and heading outside. He decides to take a bit of a walk as he is still feeling a bit tired, he suspects that it's something to do with the spare tire around his stomach, he hopes that the walk will wake him up a bit more and it may help with losing some weight. _Bones will have my guts for garters when he sees me looking like this._ Jim grins and then pauses in his thoughts, he doesn't know anyone with the name bones, shrugging his shoulders and dropping the grin he carries on walking.

He never expected to enjoy this sort of life when he was younger but after Lori died he gave up on people and technology and moved to a woodland near Yellowstone Park, far from the hustle and bustle of city life. His cottage is far enough from the tourist spots that he doesn't have to worry about bumping into anyone, _Spock would probably like to visit here, there is lots of things for his beautiful big scientific brain to explore_. Again Jim stops, now who the hell is Spock? A fragment of his dream comes back to him...

/_Captain it is gravimetric anomaly that has previously been unrecorded, it appears to be slightly out of sync with the rest of the universe as it has a different wave variance/_

_Huh, I must have been remembering that dream, it felt so vivid, so real and why did when 'Spock' say Captain did I feel like it was some sort of endearment?_

Jim couldn't see himself as a captain he much preferred his current job as a ranger. Jim puzzles over it for a bit longer before again shrugging his shoulders and continuing on his walk. It's pleasant walk, he gets to see a lot of timid animals that the tourists normally scare away like the white-tailed and mule deer's and mountain goats. He has to change his route every so often when he comes across cougar and bear tracks, as it's early spring and with new cubs being born they are easy to provoke and are extremely territorial, thinking along these lines makes Jim remember how Spock acted every time someone tried to get close to the famous Captain James T. Kirk. Jim stops walking he doesn't understand what is going on, how can he remember someone he has never met before?

Jim is pulled from his thoughts when he sees a beautiful woman approaching, she's an older woman, perhaps twenty years older than Jim, she has long brown hair and gorgeous brown eyes that were oddly familiar. Jim watches as she walks towards him, she walked with the authority of one who was from a privileged or diplomatic background. Jim wonders what she is doing in this part of the park and where is the rest of her group, if she is part of one. He starts to feel a bit of a twinge in his stomach and winces, fortunately the woman is too far away to notice. She stops just in front of him and smiles, Jim catches his breath this woman is extremely beautiful. He notices that she isn't wearing a wedding ring, so he starts flirting, he gives her his most charming smile and he can see it's working when she starts to blush.

"Ma'am are you alright?"

"I am satisfactory, I am just out for a walk."

Jim couldn't definitively place her accent, it sounded Canadian tinged with somewhere else but he wasn't sure.

"My names Jim, I'm the park ranger here, where's the rest of your group?"

"I'm Amanda, I don't have a group I was travelling and I decided to have a look around, I've never been to this park before and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

When she tells him her name Jim feels yet another twinge in his stomach, he winces again but manages to cover it up. _Maybe I should go back to bed or if it continues I should see a doctor, bones would laugh if he saw me willingly going to the doctors._ Jim starts to wonder if there is something seriously wrong with him.

"Ma'am..."

At her glare he decides to stop calling her Ma'am.

"Amanda, it's not wise for someone who doesn't know the area to wander off on their own, you could get into all sorts of trouble and no one would know."

Amanda straightens herself up, she shorter than Jim but she looks intimidating.

"I can take care of myself, you don't have to worry young man."

"I'm sure you can but it's early spring and the animals are allowing their young out and so are more territorial, and this area is a notorious spot for coug-mountain lions and bears."

Jim fights to keep the blush off of his face, why did his mind always turn something innocent into an innuendo? Amanda doesn't seem to have noticed anything wrong so Jim gives a silent sigh of relief.

"Have we met somewhere before? you look oddly familiar."

"Uh I don't think so, I mean I would definitely remember if I had seen you before."

Amanda blushes and Jim smiles again.

"I'd like to walk you back to your..."

Jim stomach gives another twinge and then another, it feels like someone is kicking the crap out of his insides. A memory hits him out of nowhere.

_Jim sits up, he starts getting anxious, something is obviously wrong but he doesn't know what. Before he can start pacing McCoy comes back in. Jim stands up but is terrified when McCoy makes him sit back down._

/What is it? What is wrong with me?/

/Jim I er... I don't know quite how to tell you this but you're erm.. you're well your pregnant and Spock is the father./

Jim looks shocked.

/But... but.../

Jim blinks and he is back in the park, he shakes his head to dislodge what ever was in his head.

"Is everything alright?"

He looks up at Amanda.

"I er... I don't..."

_There's a knock at the door so Jim gets up off the bed and answers the door, out in the hallway is Jocelyn. She brushes past Jim she doesn't even say hello, she immediately heads over to McCoy and Joanna. She strokes Joanna's hair and then looks at McCoy._

"Let's go because I've got a meeting in twenty-four hours on Andorra and we have to leave in an hour."

McCoy looks horrified.

"But I've got her for another week."

Jocelyn looks smug and not in the least bit sorry when she replies.

"I'm sorry but I'm not going to another planet without my daughter."

McCoy pulls Joanna a bit closer and kisses her forehead. Jim moves over to McCoy he puts a hand on McCoy's shoulder.

"You cant take her from me, we had an agreement that I would have her for the two weeks without any interference from you, you promised that we would have two weeks. I haven't seen her in six months, you didn't even bring her to my graduation."

"That doesn't make any difference Len I'm taking my daughter with me."

"You cant do that Jocelyn. I'm gonna get my lawyer on the phone. This is not fair she is my daughter too, I have a right to see her as well."

Jocelyn looks mad with rage.

"No she's not."

"Jim? Are you ok? What's happening? What's wrong?"

Amanda sounds panicked, Jim goes to answer her when he finds himself somewhere else again.

_He wakes up suddenly, he can feel Spock having another nightmare, he gets out of bed and goes into Spock's quarters, Spock is crying out in his sleep._

_/Mother, Mother!\\_

_Jim rushes to Spock's bedside and roughly shakes Spock, he has to wake Spock quickly, he doesn't want Spock to have to relive that day again. This had happened every night since Jim had moved back into his quarters._

_/Spock, wake up, you're dreaming, wake up.\\_

"Spock, oh God."

Jim is sucked back into another memory.

_This time it is in some sort of room in space, he can see the stars out of the window. There are two men in bed one appears to be a Vulcan and the other he is shocked to see is himself. Jim watches as the memory/hallucination? version of himself looks over at the bedside table on it is a beautiful woman with long brown hair and familiar brown eyes he picks up the frame and looks at his bedmate. His bedmate answers his unspoken question._

_/That is Amanda Grayson, my mother.\\_

_/She's beautiful.\\_

"Bones, Spock. How could I forget you guys?"

Jim goes white, his hand unconsciously goes to his stomach.

"My baby, how could I forget my own child?"

Jim comes back to his surroundings, he remembers everything, he looks up at the woman and realises why her eyes look so familiar to him, it is because they are the same as Spock's.

"You're Amanda, Amanda Grayson aren't you? You're Spock's mom how are you here? How is this possible? You died on Vulcan, does this mean I'm dead too?"

Amanda looks shocked but she is saved from answering when a man appears out of thin air, both Jim and Amanda jump back in shock. Jim puts himself in between Amanda and the stranger, the man is wearing what appears to be a blue tailcoat and a white frilled shirt and green riding trousers with black boots.

"No you're not dead, as if I would do that to you, no you're here because I want you to be."

"Who the hell are you and how did you do that?"

"I'm Trelane but you may call me Squire and I am a member of the Q continuum and therefore I am more powerful then you."

"What do you want? Where are we?"

"You are in a place called the Nexus, it is an inter-dimension rift, it was created by my mentor in his childhood, he decided to keep it as it has shown some amusing scenes. And as for what I want, I want to help you, I have come with an offer for you. It's a really good one."

Jim waits for a minute, waiting for the offer. Trelane grows impatient

"Do you want to take the offer or not?"

Jim looks confused.

"What offer?"

"The one I just offered you."

Jim looks even more confused, Amanda gasps and steps forward, she too has remembered what had happened and who she was, she remembers how Sarek acted towards people who were not forthcoming with information, she glares at Trelane.

"You did not give him the terms of an offer, perhaps you could allow him to know what he is entering into before he makes his choice.."

Now Trelane looks confused.

"I didn't tell him?"

When both Jim and Amanda say no, he just shrugs.

"The offer is; I will return Vulcan to all it's glory, along with all the Vulcan's who died and Amanda's life, in return for your unborn child."

Jim looks at Amanda and sees she is just as horrified at the offer as he is, Trelane on the other hand looks nonplussed at the bombshell he has just dropped.

TBC

A/N: Woohoo for psychic baby. What should Jim do? Please review.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

A/N: For PintoSpirk who begged for more and because I couldn't sleep (so sorry if this chapter is not as good). More TOS references. This is a much shorter chapter than I thought it would be so I am again sorry.

Spock is still struggling to deal with the fact that Jim is gone, his mind is agony, his soul crying out in torment. Spock doesn't realise that he has been lifted up and carried from the bridge to his quarters, he doesn't know that he was screaming out loud.

Spock feels someone else's presence in his mind, knowing that it is not Jim, he instinctively tries to force them out but they are much stronger than him and are able to gain access to the core of his mind and the remnants of his bond with Jim.

"Calm yourself youngling, the bond is not yet broken, it has been stretched to it's limit but it has not snapped, your T'hy'la is still alive, Jim still lives."

Spock recognises that the intruder is Syrek and stops fighting, which allows Syrek to strengthen Spock's bond with Jim by using the skills he had learnt at Gol. Finally his mind stops screaming in agony and he is able to focus on trying to get his mate back. Syrek pulls out of the emergency meld he had initiated and watches as Spock manages to tenuously control his emotions. Syrek follows Spock out of his quarters and back onto the bridge, even though he is a civilian no one batted an eye at him being on the bridge again. He watches as Spock takes his seat at the science station to run more scans, he sees that the crew is just as professional as they were in his own time and he is grateful for this.

**Meanwhile back in the Nexus**

"What?"

Jim felt sick, how could he choose between Spock's people, his mother, his family and Jim's unborn child, his only hope for a real family. Jim loved his child with all his heart but he knew that Spock wasn't coping well with the loss of his planet, none of the surviving Vulcan's were. How could he choose, how does he decide between who lives and who dies?

Amanda watches Jim, she can see the distress that this decision is causing Jim and she wants to stop it, she moves closer to Jim. Trelane watches them closely with interest but doesn't say anything.

"You should choose your child, I would if I was in your place, if I had to choose between my world and Spock, I would choose Spock every time. I have lived my life. It may have been cut shorter than it was meant to but you will never forgive yourself."

"But you're his mother, he needs you. He will always need you, he can't forgive himself for what happens. He needs you."

"How do you know my son?"

"I'm his bondmate and I'm carrying his daughter, your granddaughter."

Amanda wraps her arms around Jim and holds him close, Jim melts into the contact, she could be the mother figure he never had.

"Then Jim, you must choose her over me, I will live on through her."

Jim turns and looks at Trelane, he still needs answers to questions like:

"Why did I forget about being a captain?"

"The Nexus replaced your memories as it seemed to believe that after travelling through the stars you would not be happy staying in one place for too long. The Nexus feeds off of the energy created by your dream state, it would not want you to leave."

"How is Amanda here?"

"Oh I just brought her back to life as proof of what I can do, it's no big deal one life is easy."

Amanda realises what Jim has decided and turns him so that he is looking back at her, she would never forgive herself if she took away Spock's chance for a family even if it meant seeing him again.

"Jim, do not give up your chance for a family. This is the way it is meant to be."

Jim shakes his head, he is close to crying but he wont allow the tears to fall, not in front of someone he doesn't know or trust.

"I can't, I'm sorry, I really am but he needs you."

Jim pulls away and looks back at Trelane who is once again acting in a very flamboyant manner.

"I've made my decision, I want you to..."

"STOP!"

Jim and Amanda spin around trying to find the owner of the mysterious voice whilst Trelane goes very pale. They do not have to look far as two very indistinct green glowing lifeforms appear, Trelane tries (and fails) to hide behind Jim.

"Trelane we have warned you repeatedly about interfering in Captain Kirk's life this is the sixth such time as we have had to stop you, now go home, we will deal with you later."

Trelane looks mutinous but does as he is told, once he is gone the two indistinct lifeforms become solid and turn into two average looking people, one male and one female, both looking remarkably similar to Trelane but wearing much more up to date clothing. Jim watches amazed until they step forward, they may have been done with Trelane but obviously they are not don with him. The way they acted towards Trelane was almost as if he were a child and then it hits Jim, these are his parents (no matter how old you are, your parents will always treat you as children). The two aliens speak in tangent so that Jim feels as though they are one, it's actually kind of freaky.

"We apologise Captain Kirk but our son has the misguided belief that he is omnipotent, his offer to you is null and void as this universe has already changed so differently without Vulcan in it. There are many far reaching consequences of the destruction of Vulcan that will ultimately shape the way this galaxy and eventually the universe will become. We will however allow you to take Amanda Grayson back into your universe when you leave this place, her death serves no purpose and so can be reversed, we will also increase both of your life spans by fifty years in order for you to spend more time with your bond-mates, you will do a great many things Captain Kirk never forget that."

Jim wraps his arms around Amanda, not willing to let her go in case it is another trick. He is incredibly thankful when he feels like he is being beamed back to the ship much like when Scotty is at the console. He closes his eyes because if this is a trick he really doesn't want to see where they are.

"Mother! Jim! How is this possible?"

Jim opens his eyes to find himself back on the bridge of his ship with the entire bridge crew and Syrek staring at them, including Spock. He watches as Spock moves towards him and smiles when he pulls Jim into a hug and holds him before settling his fingers on Jim's psi points and pushing them into a meld.

_The first thing Spock does is find the tether in Jim's mind to their bond to reaffirm it and to calm his mind, he relaxes when his mind completely heals itself and his soul calms itself even more so when Jim wraps his mental arms around him._

_/T'hy'la I thought I had lost you, what happened?/_

_/There was an alien, I think his name was Trelane, he took me to a place called the Nexus. The place took away all my memories./_

_Jim shows Spock exactly what happened in the Nexus and how he met Spock's mother, he explained how Trelane tried to trick Jim into giving up their child._

TBC

I hope you liked it. Please review.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

A/N: Apologises for the wait been suffering from writers block, but good news as possessive Spock is back, I hope you like it. This a bit fluffy but there is porn as well (but only slash, I don't do het). This chapter is a bit different in that I'll write about what happens to Amanda first and then go back and write about what happened to Spock and Jim after the meld.

Amanda watched with a smile on her face as her son rushed to his bond-mate, his relief plain on his face. She watched how they were reunited, her heart ached with joy as she saw that for all of following the Vulcan way he had managed to fall in love with a human just like his father. She watched as Spock melded with Jim, she knew that Spock will be extremely territorial for a while especially as she recalled that Jim was pregnant. She was going to have to find out they got together and how Jim got pregnant, she is sure that it will be a 'fascinating' story.

Amanda takes a look around the room, there is shock evident on every ones face but she thinks that's more to do with her appearance and less to do with Spock's reaction. There is a beautiful young black woman; who has a hint of amusement on her face as well as a hint of sadness, maybe she was Jim's ex-girlfriend. There is a handsome young Asian man at what appears to be the helm and he is sat next to a extremely young curly haired man who doesn't look old enough to drink let alone have completed the necessary star-fleet training but he must be good if he is on the bridge and both have identical looks of confusion on their faces, Amanda thinks that it is quite cute. Then there is two older men standing by the Captain's chair were Spock was sitting before they appeared back on the bridge, one is a dark-haired handsome man in a blue shirt and the other is also dark-haired although it looks as though he is balding and in a red shirt.

The man in a blue shirt pulls out a tricorder from god knows where (he doesn't appear to have any pockets on his uniform and she is sure it wasn't in his hands before) and runs it over her.

"I'm Dr McCoy, you're Spock's mother?"

"Yes, my name is Amanda Grayson."

"This scan says that you're fit as a fiddle for a dead woman... I apologise that wasn't very polite."

Amanda smiles at him.

"But it is true."

Movement out of a corner catches her eye; she turns and stares at the male Vulcan, at first she thinks that it is Sarek but this Vulcan much older although he does look very familiar. She moves closer to him until she can look into his eyes, she lets out a soft gasp, she doesn't know how it has happened but this Vulcan is definitely her son Spock, maybe a hundred and fifty years older but he is definitely her son. She goes to move towards him when she sees McCoy heading over to Jim and Spock, she knows that it is a bad idea but Spock breaks the meld before she can say anything.

The bridge crew watch as Spock pulls Jim into his arms and refuses to let McCoy touch him. When McCoy persists Spock growls and Amanda has to step in before McCoy gets hurt. Jim tries to calm Spock down but Spock wont listen, he continues to growl at McCoy. Amanda steps forward.

"Spock, it's okay Dr McCoy just wants to check that Jim is healthy, he wont hurt him."

Spock has the grace to blush at his mothers words but still wont let McCoy get close, in fact he starts to pull Jim away from everyone else and towards the turbo lift. He continues to growl as he does so and Jim continues to try and calm him down. When Spock and Jim reach the lift no one stops them from leaving the bridge although Jim manages to tell someone called Scotty that he has the bridge.

Older Spock approaches Amanda, she is about to ask how it is possible he is here when she sees him minutely shake his head.

"Lady Amanda, Ambassador Sarek is on board. Do you wish for me to take you to him?"

Amanda smiled, Sarek was on board but then she felt guilty she had barely even thought about him since she was brought aboard.

"Yes, I would like that very much."

Older Spock leads Amanda to the lift and awaits for its arrival. McCoy watches them closely he knows who Syrek really is and he is interested in watching how he will interact with the woman who in a different universe was his mother, judging by the look of recognition that was on Amanda's face he guesses that Amanda has already figured out who he is and is going to want to ask a lot of questions.

Amanda and Syrek enter the lift and once the door closes and Syrek has pressed the button to take them to the deck with the VIP rooms, Amanda turns and looks at him.

"You are Spock."

It's not a question but a statement of fact and so Syrek inclines his head.

"In another time and universe I was known as Spock of the House of Surak however in this one I am Syrek of the same clan. T'Pau was the one to allow me back into the clan, I also hold a seat on the High council, she believed it to be logical and I am in agreement."

"How many people know who you really are?"

Syrek smiles at Amanda, her tenaciousness is just the same as his mothers, it gives him a small jolt of homesickness but he is grateful to see her again.

"The high council know of me as well as a few members of Star-fleet admiralty, Spock knows who I am as well as James Kirk. Sarek of course knew who I was once he had seen me in person just as you did."

Amanda reaches out for him and he allows her to hug him.

"You are my son. You are Spock."

Amanda's smile is radiant, and Syrek smiles back at her, not the half smile he gives Jim but a full on smile. They only break apart when the lift reaches the requested floor and Syrek leads the way. They make their way to Sarek's quarters in silence but it is not an uncomfortable silence, Amanda takes the time during the walk to admire the ship they are on. As they get closer to Sarek's quarters Amanda starts to feel a bit nervous much like she did just before her first date with Sarek. It takes a few minutes but eventually they arrive at their destination and Syrek rings the buzzer to signal their arrival.

The door is almost opened instantly by Syrek's and Sarek's new assistant Soliuk, he steps aside with a bow to Syrek and completely ignores Amanda under the mistaken belief that she is a nobody.

"Who is it?"

Amanda's heart skips a beat at the sound of her husbands voice. Syrek ushers Amanda into the room.

"It is Ambassador Syrek and a 'guest'."

Syrek manages to keep his face passive at Soliuk's not so subtle insult. There is a partition that separates the living room from Sarek's office and another that separates his office and bedroom. Sarek walks around the partition separating his office and living room but stops when he sees their guest, his heart feels as though it has stopped beating (but it obviously hasn't). He moves towards Amanda, completely ignoring Syrek and Soliuk.

"My wife?"

Amanda nods.

"My husband."

Amanda stays where she is due to Vulcan precepts, even though all she wants to do is throw herself into Sarek's arms. Fortunately Sarek doesn't seem to care about his heritage as he pulls her into a hug and kisses her thoroughly before initiating a meld.

Syrek watches as his sort of parents are reunited before dismissing Soliuk and exiting the room himself to go back to his own quarters.

* * *

When Jim and Spock broke their meld on the bridge, Spock became very possessive he had almost lost both Jim and his child, Jim would never have survived the loss of his child no matter whether it was his choice or not. So Spock became extremely territorial and wouldn't even let McCoy near Jim even though he knew rationally that he wouldn't hurt Jim or their child. To be honest Spock was also a bit jealous of Jim and McCoy's relationship, so he didn't fight as hard as he could have which shamed him but not as much as it did when his mother stepped forward.

Spock pulls Jim towards the door and is grateful when no one tries to stop him, he is even more grateful when his counterpart does not interfere either. He pulls Jim into the lift and away from everyone's gaze, he knows that his mother has just come back from the dead but he cannot tear himself away from Jim. Jim continues trying to reassure him, which actually works at least for a short while. Once the lift hits their deck Spock leads Jim into their quarters where he rips off Jim's clothes before pushing Jim onto the bed and covering his mates body with kisses and caresses, he pushes Jim's legs apart and grabs the lube from the bedside table before using his fingers to quickly open Jim up wide enough to take him.

He slides in quickly, determined not to be separate from his mate any longer than necessary, Jim groans when he feels the fullness and Spock completely lets go at his mates nod. He takes Jim fast and hard, pounding Jim's tight hole as he slammed in and out. Jim cries out in ecstasy as he is fucked by Spock, Spock keeps speeding up becoming rougher and biting Jim's neck and collarbone. When he feels Jim is near orgasm, he bats away Jim's hand and strokes his mate to completion. Spock doest last much longer and once he orgasms he collapses on the bed next to Jim, making sure not to land on Jim's stomach or to hurt him. The only thing that Spock said was 'mine', repeatedly and Jim agreed.

After a few minutes of getting his breathing back under control, Spock turns and looks at Jim. He cuddles up close to Jim and puts Jim's head on his shoulder and runs his hand slowly up and down Jim's back.

"I apologise, I should not have been so forceful. Are you unharmed?"

Jim lifts his head and smiles at Spock.

"No you haven't hurt us, it was great, I enjoyed it Spock. There's absolutely no need to apologise for that kind of sex."

Spock kisses Jim's forehead and Jim lays his head back down on Spock's shoulder. Spock continues to run his hand up and down Jim's back. They lie in a comfortable silence for a long time before Spock decides to work up the courage to ask Jim a question, a very important life changing question. Spock clears his throat.

"Jim?"

"Yes Spock?"

"I wish to ascertain you're answer to an inquiry I have."

Jim looks up confused. Then he slowly works through what Spock has just said (his brain doesn't work properly after a normal orgasm and the one he just had was extremely intense).

"You want to ask me a question?"

"Indeed."

Jim looks into Spock's eyes.

"Ok... you look nervous. This has got to be some question, I'm kinda worried."

"Jim..."

Spock clears his throat again.

"James, will you do me the honour of bonding with me?"

Jim looks even more confused (which Spock finds adorable, not that he would ever tell Jim that or anyone else for that matter).

"But aren't we already bonded?"

"Indeed we are technically however due to the circumstances of our bonding it is not legally recognised and so we do not have the same rights as bonded and married pairings."

Jim sits up completely and looks away from Spock, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind, he speaks softly almost in a whisper.

"Does this mean that after your Pon-Farr you could have been transferred to another ship?"

Spock lowers his eyes in shame and nods his head once.

"Yes, can you forgive me for the deception?"

Jim goes very quiet, thinking about all that had happened and how his life could be different now, he realises that everything would be different, Jim forgave Spock for his Pon-Farr but it took a while, if he had known he could have thrown Spock off of his ship he would have done so. If Spock had not been on the ship he would be dead. Kodos would have been able to avenge himself on Jim and nobody would have been able to save him. Jim looks back at Spock and he can see how much this is tearing Spock apart, he lifts Spock's head up so that he can look him in the eye.

"Spock, you don't need to ask me for forgiveness, but if it is what you truly need then know that I forgive you for everything that happened. Your deception was necessary and if you hadn't lied about us being separated then I would not be here now, so yes I forgive you and yes I'll bond with you, heck if you want a wedding as well I would be quite happy for it. I think it would be a good idea for both actually and you never know maybe you're mother would like to plan the ceremonies."

Spock allows a smile to cross his face before pulling Jim down and kissing him. Spock gently rolls them over again so that Jim is on the bottom, and starts another round of lovemaking but this time it is much slower and much more gentle.

TBC

As I said before I apologise for the wait and I hope you enjoyed, please review.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

A/N: Time to find out what has being happening with everyone else, including Jessica and Joanna.

Aurelan has spent the entire journey from Kronos trying to keep Jessica calm and helping her through her grief. It has obviously being hard losing both her parents within less than twenty four hours one at the hands of one parent and the other at her brothers hands. Aurelan had already filed for divorce from George, she couldn't stay married to a murderer.

Jessica had made good friends with Joanna McCoy and was currently spending the day in Dr McCoy's quarters whilst her sister-in-law had the arduous task of sorting through Winona and Frank's things as George is in the brig and it would be unfair to ask Jim to do it, especially with the way they had treated him.

It was a shame that the hero of Earth's family had never understood what a treasure that they had been given and so callously thrown know, but it was apparent to even the most unobservant person that Jim had built his own family on the Enterprise. They had spent quite a lot of time together on the trip back and she had watched how protective Jim was over his crew and that the crew were extremely protective of their Captain especially Commander Spock and Dr McCoy, which is not surprising as Spock was his partner and McCoy was the brother he never had.

Aurelan had sorted most of Winona's and Frank's things by lunchtime, most of it was going into storage until Jessica was old enough to decide what to do with it. There were a few files to sort through although most were above her security clearance and so would have to hand them over to some one who did have the clearance but there were a couple that she could look at and one in particular caught her eye; it was Winona's last will and testament. It was a video file, a living will that Winona had recorded days before her untimely death. Aurelan sat down and played the file, within minutes she was in tears, _Jim should watch this._

Knowing that Jim was now on a reduced duty roster because the pregnancy was progressing Aurelan decided to wait until Jim was off duty before handing him the file chip, perhaps it will give him some closure.

Jim was on the bridge doing paperwork, they were less than twenty-four hours from Earth and as Spock had estimated the likelihood of attack to be less than 0.035%, the bridge was definitely more relaxed. The bridge crew were talking about what they were going to do on their two days of shoreleave, Chekhov and Sulu were going to their parents to tell them that they were now a couple, it was going to be a shock to their parents as both sets were traditional in their beliefs or so Jim had heard from his navigator and helmsman. Scotty was meeting Uhura's parents for the first time as well, Jim predicted that there was probably going to be a proposal soon from Scotty, he was totally smitten and judging by the looks that Uhura was throwing Scotty every time he came on the bridge for an 'emergency' she was smitten as well. McCoy was spending the two days with Joanna and him and Spock in San Francisco going to a couple of briefings and he was attending Winona's memorial to be extra support for Jim.

Jim was spending the two days with Spock and McCoy, they were going to meet up with Chris Pike as well, Christine chapel was seeing her mother who was ill and McCoy was trying not to let his disappointment show but he knew how important it was for Christine to spend time with her mother at this time, his own experiences had taught him that much.

Jim was two thirds through his shift, McCoy had reduced it to six hours after Spock had complained and Jim had finally acquiesced to their demands yesterday, Spock would still be doing his full shifts but he had made sure that Jim wont spend too much time on his own as he knows how loneliness affects him more than anything else, so there had been a few 'volunteers' to spend time with Jim and to keep him out of trouble. Fortunately after this mission they were going to be sent solely on research and exploration missions far away from the Romulan Neutral Zone, Spock had perked up when he had heard that, Jim remembered how adorable Spock had looked when they had found out the news.

Jim was looking forward to being off shift today as he was helping Amanda to make a family meal for her, Jim, McCoy, Aurelan, Joanna, Jessica, Sarek, Spock and Syrek in the officers mess hall as no private quarters or V.I.P's rooms were big enough to host a dinner for that size group and Jim didn't want to do it in a conference room, fortunately the only time that the officer's mess was used was when Jim had to do a working lunch or dinner with his bridge crew, the rest of the crew preferred to eat in the main mess. Jim had commandeered the kitchen so that they could cook the food from scratch which had made Amanda very happy.

When his shift is finished, Spock walks up to his chair and Jim taking the hint manages to pull himself up out of the chair, it was a routine that they had settled into in the last few days and it involves Spock watching him like a hawk but he doesn't try and help unless it is absolutely necessary and it would appear that his assistance wasn't needed today. Jim walks past Spock,careful to brush his fingers against Spock's own in a subtle and discreet kiss. Spock becomes less tense and takes Jim's seat although he does not need to be at the command chair whilst they are in friendly space.

"Right then I'm off."

"That would explain the smell sir."

Jim turns and looks at Uhura he throws her a mock glare, she just smiles back at him and Jim bursts out laughing along with the rest of the bridge crew (with the obvious exception of Spock but he allows one side of his mouth to raise slightly in a half smile).

"Ouch, fine be like that, see if I care."

Giving an exaggerated pout Jim walked off the bridge to renewed peals of laughter. Smiling to himself Jim made his way to his quarters and got changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt (he didn't want to get stuff all over his uniform besides he was off duty). He then made his way down to the kitchens (as the flagship which has to deal with numerous dignitaries, the ship had been given a very large kitchen and several different chefs specializing in different foods such as desserts and vegetarian meals and so on), Jim was just out side the kitchen door when he heard someone call his name so he turned around; it was Aurelan. He waits for her to catch wondering what it was that she wanted to tell him that couldn't wait a couple of hours for the meal, he was slightly nervous of her after all he didn't really know her that well and he had always had trouble trusting people. What he wasn't expecting (if he expected anything) was her to place a data chip in his hand and giving him hug before explaining that it was Winona's last will and testament and suggesting to him that he find some where private to watch it.

He watched her leave before slipping the chip into the pocket of his jeans deciding to watch it after their meal with Spock as he will probably need the emotional support. Jim turns back around and enters the kitchen to see Amanda and Sarek already preparing some of the food. There was such a difference in both Sarek and Spock since the surprising resurrection of Amanda, both were a lot more calm, in fact they were almost cheerful which is not unsurprising, Sarek was definitely more relaxed and had on several occasions shown some emotion on his face whilst they were behind closed doors.

Both Sarek and Amanda looked up when Jim had entered the room, Amanda smiled at Jim who since meeting him in the nexus had sort of adopted him especially after she had found out about his childhood, she had also adopted Syrek into the family and Jim reckoned it was only going to be a matter of time before she had adopted the entire ship; she had taken quite a likening to the youngest crew in star-fleet. Jim smiled back at them before moving over to them.

Where do you want me?"

Amanda smiled again and proceeded to order both males around not that either were complaining, it was the first time in Jim's life that he felt like he had a mother and father as Sarek was being extremely warm to Jim as well. The afternoon passed fairly quickly as they were all having lots of fun (not that Sarek admitted it) eventually though they were joined by Spock who when he arrived he gave Jim a Vulcan kiss although Sarek and Amanda pretended not to see it. Jim and Spock decide to tell Sarek and Amanda that they are getting bonded, Jim thought that they should know first and Spock agreed.

Finally the meal was finished and they all carried the food up to the officers mess, where they were greeted by McCoy and Aurelan who helped carry the food over to the table that had been set aside for their use.

Jessica and Joanna were playing one of the latest games that had come out called GeoPets 3006 and were trading items between themselves whilst chatting amicably about things that all little girls talk about. Jim watched them with a smile after he had unloaded his plates onto the table.

"Girls come on dinner is ready."

The girls put away their PADD's and joined the table to tuck into the buffet that was now all out, everyone joined them and they all settled down and enjoyed the food that had been prepared for them, Jim was enjoying being around all the people who truly cared for him. Spock noticed that Jim was becoming more and nervous during the meal and Spock sent his concern over their bond.

_/What is wrong T'hy'la?\\_

_/I think we should tell them about us getting bonded and I was worried about how to go about saying it.\\_

_/If you wish I could tell them.\\_

Jim smiles and nods and Spock gently clicks his knife against his glass and stands up, he clears his throat and everyone turns to look at him.

"I have some news and as you are all considered to be family, in fact some are blood relatives, James and I have some news we wish to impart to you; I have asked Jim to bond with me and he has accepted."

Everyone cheered and congratulated them, the rest of meal was spent with the adults coming up with plans for both a bonding ceremony and a wedding as a bonding ceremony was a small intimate affair and they wanted the crew to be able to join in the festivities.

TBC

I was going to add the bit where Jim and Spock watch Winona's last will and testament but this chapter was getting a bit long so it will be in the next chapter.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

A/N: Oh My God, I've received over two hundred reviews, thank you, I love you all. My thanks go to Scifinut who gave me the idea for this chapter ages ago; it's Winona's last will and testament. I hope you enjoy. This chapter continues directly on from the previous one. Some legal jargon in this chapter. It is also a bit shorter which is why I got it up sooner.

McCoy and Aurelan were the first to leave the mess hall along with Joanna and Jessica as it was getting to be the girls bed time and they were getting tired, followed not long after by Syrek who had important calls to make which left Sarek, Amanda, Spock and Jim. They cleared away the plates and put them into the recycler, Spock stayed close to his mother trying to work up the courage to tell her something that he had only ever said in a hallucination but the words were hard, it was in moments like this that he begrudged his Vulcan upbringing.

"Mother may I speak with you?"

Throwing a glance at her husband, Amanda smiles and nods following Spock away from Sarek.

"Mother I do not know how to express the depth of affection I have for you. When I had thought you to be lost I believed that you had died not knowing that I love you. I felt ashamed that I had never been able to state this out loud so I wish to take this second chance that we have been given and I need you to know that I love you and I am grateful that you are my mother."

Amanda reaches out for Spock and Spock allows himself to be pulled into a hug.

"Oh Spock, my son, I never doubted your affection for me nor did I ever grieve for the fact you had never stated it in words, the words 'I love you' are often overused but I knew Spock, I knew you loved me. My maternal bond may not be as strong as a Vulcan's but I could always feel your affection. On Earth there is a saying that actions speak louder than words and your actions proved what you could never say out loud, for instance when you turned down the VSA because they called me a disadvantage or when you got into a fight at school to defend my honour. When I stood on that cliff and saw that the planet was breaking apart under our feet and I knew that there was a chance that none of us could have survived, I wouldn't have changed what happened because I got to see you one last time, I got to see the wonderful man you have become. But I am so proud of you; that you feel that you can speak about this emotion aloud."

Amanda smiles at Spock as she pulls away slowly and Spock allows a smile to pass over his face and Amanda's smile brightens in response. Amanda makes her way back over to Sarek and Spock walks over to Jim, Jim asks if everything is all right and when Spock says that he is Jim nods (although he doesn't believe him) and asks if he is ready to leave. Spock gives his confirmation and they both make their goodbyes to Sarek and Amanda before heading back to their quarters.

The two men walk quietly back to their quarters, Spock occasionally brushes his fingers against Jim's when they walk through deserted corridors. They make their way into their quarters before Jim questions Spock about what happened. Spock walks over to their bed whilst Jim leans up against the divider to the bedroom.

"What happened Spock?"

Spock swallows audibly but he will not lie to Jim.

"I told my mother that I loved her for the first time."

Jim moves over to Spock and wraps his arms around him.

"I'm proud of you."

"My mother also expressed that sentiment."

Jim smiles at him and squeezes him tightly before letting go.

"I er... I got given Winona's last will before dinner, would you watch it with me?"

Spock nods and follows Jim back into their living area where Jim puts the data file into comm unit on Spock's desk and both sit down to watch it. Winona's face appears on the screen and Spock grabs Jim's hand in a show of support.

"I, the undersigned, Winona Kirk-Castran, resident of Riverside Iowa, hereby declare this to be my will. I hereby revoke all previous wills and testamentary writings/recordings made by me. This change in my will is due to my impending divorce.

I nominate George Samuel Kirk, resident of Riverside Iowa to be the Executor of my Estate. Should he be unwilling or unable to act as my Executor, I nominate James Tiberius Kirk of the U.S.S Enterprise."

Spock squeezes Jim's hand in comfort when he hears Jim's audible gasp at being made the Executor of Winona's will.

"I direct that the Executor of my Estate shall not be required by the Master of the High Court or other competent authority to give security for proper performance of his duties.

I direct that my Estate shall be desolved as follows; Special Bequests, In the event of both Frank Castran's and my deaths I hereby grant sole custody of my daughter Jessica Kirk-Castran, if he is unable or unwilling to become her legal guardian then custody of Jessica Kirk-Castran goes to James Tiberius Kirk. To whomever is granted custody of Jessica Kirk-Castran is also granted ownership of our farm house in Riverside Iowa, to do with what they will. The legal guardian of Jessica Kirk-Castran is also to be given one million credits for education, childcare and other necessary items related to her upbringing.

After my special bequests I bequeth the residue of my Estate, current amount 26 million credits is to be split equally between my three children at 30% each and for the remaining 10% to be split equally between my grandson Peter William Kirk and my unborn grandchild carried by James Tiberius Kirk until their 21st birthdays.

To my youngest son James Tiberius Kirk, I also offer my sincerest regrets for your childhood and behaviour, how I have treated you is wrong, you were the last gift from my first husband and I threw you away without a second glance and I have no excuse, seeing you that day on the observation deck, hearing you speak to your child the way I should have spoken to you has made me realise the hurt I have caused you. Nothing I can do will ever make up for the neglect and cruelty I have inflicted on you. You have obviously been granted a far better family than the one within which you were born into. You are a wonderful man and your father would be so proud of you, he would have been proud that you are the youngest captain in the Federation. If I am ever lucky enough to see George again I know that he will not forgive me for the way I have treated you, but maybe one day you might. After the negotiations with the Klingon's are finished I will start trying to make it up to you and hopefully you will let me."

The data file ends and Jim begins to cry, Spock holds his mate in his arms and gently picks Jim up before transporting them to the bed, when he pulls Jim into his arms and holds him tight whilst Jim allows himself to grieve for the lost chance for reconciliation that had been so cruelly ripped away from him.

"What do I do now?"

"First you rest and get some sleep and tomorrow we will discuss every thing that needs to be decided."

Jim nods and curls up closer to Spock and with help from Spock through their bond he drifts off to sleep, Spock stays awake all night just watching Jim breathe and wondering about how many more times the universe is going to do a complete one-eighty on them.

TBC

Like I said at the top I am sorry for the shorter chapter, I thought you would like it sooner rather than later. Please review.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

A/N: OMG Over 50,000 read count, I never thought so many would read it, wow. We meet some new friends in this chapter, I am trying to use as many references as I can to the other star trek series' as well as the original series and my own ideas.

Jim is the first to wake up which is surprising as normally Spock is awake at the crack of dawn (or equivalent whilst on the ship), it is very early; his alarm for his shift wont go off for another half an hour, he smiles at Spock who is lying on his side facing Jim. Jim decides to give Spock a treat for putting up with him and his moods so he slides quietly under the covers and makes his way down to Spock's waist, he smiled again when he saw that Spock was already half-hard and set about making sure that he was at full mast using his tongue and some well placed suction.

Spock was actually awake when Jim had thought he was asleep, he had 'heard' through the bond what Jim had planned and decided to let Jim believe that his actions would wake him up, after all Spock was enjoying what Jim was doing. Jim's mouth felt much hotter against Spock's skin then his hands and it brought up Spock's arousal, Spock managed to only last a minute of feigned sleep before his hands moved of their own accord to the back of Jim's head and not so subtly pulled Jim closer.

Jim smirked (well as much as he could with his mouth filled with Spock's manhood) and proceeded to drive his husband wild using all the talents he had learned from his relationship with Spock and brought about Spock's quick and violent climax. Swallowing every drop of Spock's essence Jim made his way back up the bed, kissing every inch of Spock as he went. Spock pulls Jim into his arms and holds him close to his chest.

"Good morning."

Spock smirks and presses a kiss to the top of Jim's head.

"It is indeed Ashayam."

"You are so smug."

"Jim have you learnt nothing? Vulcan's do not feel smug."

Jim bursts out laughing and pulls away slightly, Spock feels the coldness immediately, he doesn't like Jim being away from him, especially while he is pregnant. If they were on pre-reform Vulcan Jim would never be able to leave Spock's sight let alone their bed chambers.

"You do realise that I know that that statement is bullshit right?"

Spock's lips quirk up ever so slightly.

"Indeed."

Jim lies back down on Spock's chest, he sighs theatrically.

"What is wrong ashayam?"

"We have to finish our conversation from last night."

The two love-birds spend the rest of the time before the alarm goes off discussing their plans now that Jim has custody of his sister, they decide that he and Spock will move into the captains quarters and they will turn Spock's quarters into the bedrooms needed for both Jessica and the baby. They also decide that when they go planet side Jim will inquire about having teaching staff come aboard along with childcare experts to take care of the children when the parents/guardians are unable to change shift or if there is an emergency. Jim is not the only pregnant crew member on board (there are currently three others and not all of them are human) and so they will have to employ a whole team to work with the children and they will also need some paediatric doctors to work alongside McCoy and the medical team they have already.

They will also have to assign one of the conference rooms as a school room and bring aboard all the necessary school materials. At the moment there are only two students (Jessica and Joanna) but once word reaches other ships that children are allowed on the Enterprise they will be inundated with request transfers from parents who want to raise their children in space.

Not long after they have finished their conversation Jim's alarm goes off and they set about getting ready for the day ahead, they share a quick shower which for some strange reason turns into a mutual masturbation session before getting dressed and leave their quarters to meet up with Aurelan, Peter and Jessica to have breakfast together. They arrive earlier than they expected and snag a table in a corner and get their breakfast. A few minutes pass before the door to the mess hall open and their dining guests arrive. During the meal Jim and Aurelan explain about what is going to happen to Jessica, she takes it well especially when it means that she will be able to stay on the ship with Joanna and Jim.

Following the meal Jim and Spock head up to the bridge for the necessary change over of command to star fleet space station 1 as they had arrived at Earth during the night whilst the Alpha shift were asleep.

Before beaming down to Earth Jim and Spock make sure that McCoy will look after Jessica whilst they go to the briefing with Pike. The briefing goes well for them and Pike tells them that he has arranged for the two of them to stay on Earth for the next two few months if they want it but Jim emphatically states that he wants to stay on the ship, Pike shakes his head but agrees on the condition that they take an expert on board, he doesn't tell them who it is but he tells them that he has arranged an appointment at Star-fleet medical. Jim agrees and asks Pike about how he would go about getting non-star fleet personnel on the ship, Pike smiles at how well thought out their plan is when he asks about it.

When they leave the headquarters and head over to star-fleet medical centre they are joined by Sarek and Amanda who had already been already been informed by Pike (Pike and Sarek were starting a bromance as Sarek understood now the value of friendships which Amanda had smiled at and encouraged). As they walk to the main reception centre at the medical centre where they are joined by T'Pau who actually smiles for the first time in her adult life when she sees that Amanda is truly alive (Sarek had informed her before they arrived at Earth but illogically T'Pau felt that it was some sort of mistake but seeing the way Sarek and Spock were reacting to her she knew that it was real, Amanda was alive).

"Amanda, Ko-fu I am gratified to see you alive."

"As am I Ko-mekh. It is gratifying to see you again as well."

T'Pau tells them that she has finally accepted a place on the federation council as she'll be of more use to Vulcan (especially as the rest of the council are shit scared of her) which means that Sarek will have to take her seat on the Vulcan council and make sure that they do not become insular and xenophobic like they did after the destruction of the Kelvin.

"I will Ko-mekh, I will also make sure to have a defence field built around the planet, there is no logic in being defenceless, especially not now while our numbers are so few."

"Indeed, I will ensure that you will get any help you need from the federation council, you will not be the lone voice."

Sarek nods his head.

"Thanks are illogical but I wish to convey them to you ko-mekh."

"Indeed but they are accepted, come we are being called into see the healer."

They are called into the doctors office where Spock is shocked to see that the expert they have been sent to see is none other than Dr Phlox the Deltan who worked with the VSA to create him. Phlox smiles when he sees his guests, Jim doesn't understand why this guy is lauded until Spock explains who he is and how he was the first doctor to know everything about Vulcan biology including Pon-Farr. Jim is worried although he knows that Dr Phlox is a good man judging by the way Amanda is smiling at him but he still doesn't like or trust doctors and probably never will, sensing his nervousness Spock sends a wave of love and affection through their bond.

"Let's see what is happening with you baby shall we?"

Jim nods not trusting his voice. Phlox asks Jim to remove his shirt before asking Spock for permission to touch his mate, Spock holds Jim's hand and nods his consent. Jim takes off his shirt with Spock's help. The examination doesn't take long fortunately for both Jim and Spock's nerves.

"Well your little girl is doing well but she will probably becoming sooner than you think, I estimate her arrival in about ten weeks, this is such happy news."

"Why so early? She's only one quarter Vulcan."

"Ah but the average Vulcan pregnancy is only twenty-four weeks, I hypothesise that it is due to their previous warrior lifestyle as a defence mechanism."

Jim nods, thinking about they will have to move up their timetable on getting their quarters changed and having the baby furniture that they need delivered or made.

"I also believe that you should cut your hours to four a day, I have spoken to doctor McCoy and he has told me about your excellent work ethic and so I will not try to persuade you to go on bed rest just yet."

"You would have had an intense struggle on your hands if you had tried, Jim's stubbornness is almost as legendary as he is."

Jim smiles at Spock in response to his statement.

TBC


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

A/N: Second part of the last chapter. I've sketched out the last chapters and there is another 13 to go before the end of this saga, not including any sequels I come up with, it should be finished around Christmas/ New years, fingers crossed. Please enjoy and feel to point out any errors that I may have missed. Over one hundred thousand words, yikes!

Jim left Spock, Sarek, T'Pau and Amanda and headed into the centre of San Francisco to meet with Aurelan and Peter to help make arrangements with Winona's funeral and to help them find somewhere to live in the city as Aurelan no longer wants to raise Peter in Iowa whilst Spock dealt with the transfer of George to Star-fleet Security.

Spock beamed back up to the ship when his parents and grandmother went back to the Vulcan embassy to get his father prepared for his new role on New Vulcan, Vulcan decorum be damned he kissed his mother goodbye as she had never received the affection that she deserved the first time around, fortunately for his nerves neither of the full blooded Vulcan's made any comments about his behaviour. He walked straight to the brig wishing to get George off of Jim's ship (Spock had finally given up on trying to tell Jim that the ship in fact belonged to star-fleet so now he just told Scotty when he tried to claim the ship belonged to him and not Jim, after all it was a bond-mates duty to side with their mate) as soon as possible. Spock makes sure to have a full security team to take George down to the planet and he is met by Giotto and cupcake at George's cell.

George was pacing his cell and snarling at everyone who walked past, he only stopped when Spock walked up to him. The force field was lowered and the security team's weapons were raised, George spat in Spock's face, Spock calmly wiped away the spit off of his face inwardly wishing to rip George apart, Spock is careful to keep his rage away from his bond so that Jim will not feel it and become concerned (Jim does not need to feel it).

"This isn't over, I'll get that slut you are fucking, I'll make him suffer. That bitch deserves everything he is going to get and I will be there to make sure it really hurts. You should tell him that he will need to look over his shoulder for the rest of his life, you should warn him because I'm going to come for him, don't you worry. I'll get that bitch if it's the last thing I will ever do."

Spock's control shatters (if there is one thing that will piss of a Vulcan and make them forget all about logic it is threatening their bond-mate and threatening a T'hy'la pair is an incredibly stupid idea as they have in the past killed just because some one looked at them in the wrong way) and he grabs George by the throat and lifts him into the air in a move that is eerily like the move his father performed on George not long before they reached Kronos. Spock leans in close to George's ear to make sure that George hears what he is about to say.

"If you ever come after Jim, if you ever hurt him, I will kill you, I will hunt you down and your pain will be a hundred thousand times worse than what you can ever imagine."

Spock releases George who falls to the floor gasping for his breath.

"Did you see that? He just choked me, I want him arrested."

Giotto and cupcake laugh at him and look at each other.

"Did you see anything? Because I sure as hell didn't."

"Nope I didn't see anything either, must be going blind, we should get our eyes tested next time we are in sickbay."

Giotto laughs again and just drags George to his feet before cuffing his hands behind his back and frog marching him out of the brig with cupcake at his side and followed closely by the rest of the security team and Spock. Spock beams back down to Earth with the group and personally hands George over to Star-fleet security and signs all the necessary paperwork before he is free to enjoy (not that Vulcan's feel enjoyment) the rest of his shoreleave (nor do they do shoreleave).

At the same time on the other side of the city Jim has met up with the McCoy's and Jessica and is now going house hunting with Aurelan and Peter, they want some where close to star-fleet as Peter has decided that he wants to join up to the service just like his uncle Jim. Jim decides to get a place close to them where ever they choose to live for when the ship has shoreleave or if they are in between missions.

They have little luck for the first couple of hours until they find the perfect house for Aurelan and Peter, it's a three bedroom house (one for Aurelan, one for Peter and one for guests like Aurelan's parents or Jessica) built in the style of the twenty first century, with two reception room and a large kitchen and a two air car garage, it is quite expensive (actually it is very expensive but Jim is willing that either Spock or Sarek could get quite a chunk of money knocked off) but fortunately George's share of the money from Winona's will goes to Aurelan and Peter and so they can afford it and on top of that it is within less than a mile of star-fleet academy. They also find a bigger version of the house (a five bedroom house) just down the road (even closer to the academy and much more expensive) which would serve Jim and Spock's needs especially when their family expands, Jim wants a big family not that he has told Spock yet.

Once they have decided on the houses they want, Jim lets Spock know so that he can get started on the negotiations for the purchases of the houses and he and Aurelan can get started on buying new things for the houses and turn them into homes. Then McCoy takes the three kids to the zoo so that Jim and Aurelan can finish planning and making final arrangements for Winona's funeral (they had started working on the details after Jim had watched Winona's last will with Spock).

The Next Day

Jim is sat on a window seat in the Vulcan embassy watching through the windows as he waits for the funerals cars (actual proper cars, ones with wheels, ones that drive on the road, but instead of using petrol they use hydrogen fusion just like his father's old car he drove off the cliff) to arrive and pick up the large group waiting next to him to go to Winona's funeral. Jessica walks silently up to Jim, she has been quite understandably quiet for the last few days and she holds out her hands for Jim to give her a hug, Jim complies and he feels the tremors coursing through the little girls body that she is trying to hide, at this moment in time she is giving most of the Vulcan children in the embassy a run for their money on emotional control, if you looked from a distance you wouldn't even know she was upset.

"It's okay to cry."

She just nods but doesn't cry. Jim hugs her close again. Jim looks around at the room in which he is sat in, the room is filled with his family and friends, there is Jessica of course and him, then there is Spock, Sarek, Amanda, T'Pau, Aurelan and Peter, Pike, Syrek, McCoy, Joanna and the bridge crew all dressed up in their Sunday finest, Spock is in a tuxedo and he looks so damn hot in it that Jim is struggling to contain his arousal and keep his hands off of him.

Eventually the cars arrive at the gates and they exit the building, unfortunately the paparazzi have also arrived and start to hassle Jim, but a few words from the Vulcan security guards send them scurrying away. The journey to the chapel is done in silence, nearly all in contemplation for what is going to happen next.

The service is a short humanitarianism service, with some stories about Winona when she was young and when she met George, they gloss over the events after the Kelvin incident in deference to Jim, who is crying through out the entire service with Jessica wrapped in his arms (who is also sobbing) whilst he himself is wrapped in Spock's arms. Spock tries to keep Jim calm during the service but he knows how much is mate needs this. They also recall some of Winona's favourite poems (Jim is surprised by some of the poems as they are also his favourites).

After the short service (it lasts about half an hour) they are taken to a hotel where a buffet has been set up for the wake (they would have had it at the embassy but there were to many meat eaters joining for the dinner and it would not be right to take meat products into a building that caters only to the Vulcan diet which is purely vegetarian.

Spock makes Jim stay at his seat and fetches a plate of acceptable food for Jim to consume, Jim is emotionally exhausted and wolfs down all the food, he still has to go to George's pre trial for him to enter his plea. Spock is looking after Jessica, Joanna and Peter while Jim, McCoy and Aurelan go together, Spock asked not to be present although he knows that Jim needs the support (he doesn't want to lose control again and he certainly doesn't want to do it in front of Jim, he still remembers the look of fear on Jim's face) and besides he needs to develop a relationship with Jessica as he will be her co-guardian and this was a good way for them to get to know each other.

Jim, McCoy and Aurelan leave half way through the wake to go to the trial. Jim kisses Spock and Jessica goodbye and Spock tells Jim that he will have an embassy car wait for him outside the courthouse, Jim smiles at him and leaves, McCoy makes sure to stay close to Jim as he is worried about the stress on Jim's pregnancy and on his mind.

They arrive at the courthouse with barely five minutes to spare before George's plea is entered, they are lead to seats in the witness box so they can watch the proceedings. George is lead into the court and placed into the defendants box behind a security grade forcefield, he doesn't even look over at Aurelan or Jim. Aurelan watches him trying to find the man she married hidden behind all the hate and anger he is broadcasting but she cannot find him (Aurelan has quite a high empathy score).

McCoy is also watching him closely and he can see quite clearly that George has no feelings of remorse over what he has done, and it pisses him off. McCoy watches Jim and he can see that this was a bad idea, Jim should never have come here, he is about to suggest to Jim that he leave when the judge arrives and orders everyone to be seated. The judge is an elderly female who reminds McCoy of a long dead famous judge who had her own tv show in the early twenty first century, he thinks her name was Judge Julie or maybe it was Judge Judy? Not that it actually matters but she just reminded him of her. This judge seemed to have that no nonsense attitude as well.

"Will the defendant rise."

George stands up.

"Please state your name for the record."

"George Samuel Kirk."

"I see you have turned down requesting a lawyer."

George nods.

"Yes ma'am."

The judge appears to look down her nose at him. George keeps his head low, appearing to show his regrets although he does not feel any.

"Very well. How do you plead to the count of murder in the first degree?"

"Guilty ma'am"

"How do you plead to the thirteen counts of kidnapping?"

"Guilty ma'am."

"How do you plead to the one count of attempted murder?"

"Again I plead guilty ma'am."

"Very well, this court will retire to consider the sentence if you have anything to say now will be the time."

"I... I know what I did was wrong and I am sorry for it, I have stopped my mother from ever being able to get justice as I deprived Frank of a fair trial. I was so angry for him taking away my mother that I became blinded by my desire for revenge. My family will now suffer, my son will suffer all because I lost my temper. I have no excuses for what I did and so will not offer you any, I only ask that you think on the consequences longer than I did. I cannot change the past but I can learn from it and I can regret it."

The judge gets up out of her seat.

"I will retire to consider your crimes and your words and will return in one hour."

George is lead from the room but not before he turns and smirks at his brother. McCoy has to be held in his seat by Aurelan to keep from going after George.

"There is no way that bastard regrets what he did."

"I agree doctor, I don't know who that is any more, what happened to the man I loved?"

McCoy looks at Aurelan, he can tell how upset she really is even though she is putting on a brave face and so he puts his arms around her, they are told by a security guard that they can stay in the room until the sentencing (which is relieving to Jim because his feet hurt, maybe Spock will give him another foot rub later). The hour passes in relative silence although McCoy tries to start a conversation every now and then but his two companions are not into talking. The time seems to drag on longer than an hour and eventually George is brought back in followed shortly by the judge. Again the judge just gets straight to the heart of the matter.

"As you have pleaded guilty to all charges I have no choice but to send you to the lunar penal colony for a period of no less than fifty years before you are eligible for parole."

George's face falls slightly but he soon perks up for no reason that anyone else in the courtroom can discern. Again George is lead from the room but this time he is put straight onto a transport to the moon. Jim breathes a sigh of relief, this chapter of his life is now over and he can finally move on, he looks over at Aurelan whose life is in tatters just a few weeks ago she was a part of a happy family now she has become a single mother; her husband is in jail and will be for a very long time and her in-laws are dead. Jim feels such a wave of sympathy for her, he hopes that she will be able to move on and find someone else; _it's just such a shame that McCoy is in a relationship._

TBC

I hope you enjoyed it. Please, please, please review.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

A/N: I finished this sooner than I thought, I hope you enjoy. This quite a long chapter as it has Jim and Spock's bonding ceremony although I wont be going into details with it.

**Eight weeks later**

Jim is sitting in his chair on the bridge, his four hour shift almost over, fortunately they are due to arrive at New Vulcan in 5.68 minutes according to Spock so Jim will have time to greet the Elders of the High Council before going off duty. Jim was actually glad that his shifts had been reduced because he was so tired he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. Jim had about two weeks left according to Dr Phlox and so today was his last shift until after the baby was born.

The last eight weeks had passed relatively quietly, they had found three new uninhabited planets and classified two new types of stars. Jim had never seen Spock look so happy then when he found new a life form (outside of the bedroom of course).

Their current mission was to take supplies and volunteers to the colony and to check on it's progress, Pike was travelling with them as he had being put in charge of liaisons between the federation council and the Vulcan high council. Nogura was now the admiral in charge of the Enterprises missions, fortunately he was one of the admirals who thought that Jim is a good captain (there is still one or two who do not believe that Jim should still be captain and were still trying to get him fired, these admirals were close friends of Komack and had protested when he had been fired).

Jim is pulled out of his musings by Chekhov announcing their arrival at the colony, Spock approaches Jim's chair and stands beside him, he allows his fingers to brush up against Jim's. Uhura lets them know that they are being hailed from the surface.

"On screen lieutenant."

The screen changes from a view of the planet to a view of the inside of the new Vulcan council building which shows Sarek and the rest of the council members.

"Greetings Captain Kirk, we welcome you to Vafer-Tor."

"It is a pleasure to be here Councillor Sarek, I look forward to seeing the progress the colony has made so far."

"Indeed, I am aware that you will not be beaming down to join us and so I would like to request the presence of Commander Spock."

Sarek had noticed the signs of fatigue on the captains face and was relieved that Jim would not be beaming down as the planet would be far to hot and uncomfortable for him. Jim give Sarek a smile.

"I am sure that Commander Spock would be pleased to join you."

They talk on for a few minutes with Jim saying that he will be beaming down tomorrow and Sarek confirming that it is fine before Spock indicates to his father that Jim should rest (not that anyone other than Jim himself and Sarek knew that). The call ends and Jim hands over the conn to Sulu so that he can go off shift and Spock can beam down, they leave the bridge together and Spock walks Jim back to their quarters which had just been upgraded (Scotty had broken quite a few regulations when he had converted their quarters, but luckily for him Pike had still been the Admiral in charge of the ship and he had let it slide). Jessica was in their quarters waiting for them having just finished her studies for the day and she runs up to Jim and gives him a big hug before ushering him into a chair, she had turned out to be quite a big mother hen after she had witnessed the way both Spock and McCoy had treated Jim. Spock greeted her before leaving and heading to the transporter room where to his surprise he is joined by Dr Phlox.

"Dr Phlox, may I enquire as to why you are beaming down to the colony?"

Spock didn't mean for his words to come out rudely but he did not believe that it was a good idea for him to be off the ship especially as Jim was so close to his due date.

"I have been requested by you father to beam down. I am quite sure that Jim will be fine but I will keep a close eye on him and if there is any sign of trouble I will beam straight back up. You do not have to worry Jim is well looked after, Dr McCoy will keep a close eye on him."

Dr Phlox flashes Spock the famous Denobulan grin, and Spock lowers his head, he should have known that the good doctor would have a contingency plan but he was so worried for his mate, if he didn't have the chance to see his mother again he would not being going down to the planet and if Jim was not so fatigued he would not be leaving Jim behind.

"You have no need to be ashamed, I am aware of the protective instincts of a Vulcan male, your father was much the same."

Spock's lips can't help but quirk up and then he steps up to the transporter pad followed closely by Dr Phlox. The transporter chief beams them down and they are greeted by Sarek and Amanda. Spock looks upon his mother and he can see that she looks like she is glowing, the request for Dr Phlox and seeing the way that Sarek is reacting towards her Spock comes to conclusion that his mother is pregnant. He doesn't know quite how to feel about that.

"Hello mother, Father."

Amanda approaches him and holds her hand out in a family kiss but Spock ignores it and gives his mother a human hug.

"Oh Spock. I'm glad to see you again."

"I am gratified to see you as well mother."

Sarek steps up to them and Spock reluctantly pulls away from his mother to embrace his father is a family kiss.

"Greetings my son, it is gratifying to see you in such good health. Is your mate coping well with his pregnancy?"

"It is gratifying to see you again as well and in good health. My mate is indeed coping well with the pregnancy father, he coping much better than I had anticipated."

"That is good news."

Spock inclines his head in agreement and Sarek looks towards Dr Phlox.

"Greetings Dr Phlox, I thank you for agreeing to my request."

Dr Phlox gives both Sarek and Amanda his famous grin and Amanda smiles back at him.

"It is my pleasure to be here."

Spock and Dr Phlox are given a tour around the settlement where Spock is pleased to see the progress they have made, already they have built enough homes for all resident Vulcan's and the volunteers who will be beaming down today to live here for the next three years. They had also built a school which is large enough to cater for all the children on the colony and a hospital. They were just starting work on a new Vulcan science academy and new farming areas. The tour lasts over two hours as there is much to see, and as they get closer to Sarek and Amanda's home they see the groups of volunteers beaming down and being greeted quite graciously (for Vulcan's) and been shown to their new homes.

"Welcome my son to our home, come allow us to go inside, the temperature is far to high for your mother."

"Indeed."

The group move inside Sarek and Amanda's home, where Sarek practically pushes Amanda into a chair before sitting down next to her. Spock sits opposite to them and Dr Phlox is shown to one of the seats next to Spock by a servant who offers him a drink which the Doctor turns down politely. Sarek turns to Amanda and at her nod he looks back at Spock.

"My son, Dr Phlox we have some news. My Amanda is pregnant."

"Indeed, I am gratified that you have informed. How is this possible?"

"We do not know Spock that is why I requested Dr Phlox's presence."

The afternoon is passed with them beaming back on board the enterprise as the current facilities on the colony are not suited to humans. Dr phlox runs numerous tests on Amanda and the results are startling; not only is Amanda pregnant but she is pregnant with twins, Phlox hypothesises that when Amanda was brought back into the world of the living and given an extended life it would appear that her uterus was completely healed as well (when Amanda had been pregnant with Spock she had suffered an injury to her stomach that had caused her to haemorrhage and it was purely down to Phlox's skills that both her life and Spock's had been saved, it also meant that she would never be able to get pregnant again much to her and Sarek's sorrow). Spock is given time to wrap his mind around having two new siblings as the loss of Sybok still caused pain, although they had not been super close what with Spock trying to be the perfect Vulcan and Sybok embracing his emotions they had still loved one another and Spock still missed him.

During the afternoon they are joined by Jim, McCoy and Jessica as Jim is feeling slightly under the weather, as soon as Jim entered sickbay Spock instantly went straight to Jim's side and helps his mate over to a bio-bed. Dr Phlox finishes quickly with Amanda before heading over to Jim and checking to make sure that everything is okay, it turns out that Jim is suffering from braxton hicks and a quick meld with Jim by Spock proves that their daughter is not ready to be born yet. Jim feels quite relieved and embarrassed at the same time.

"Do not be so embarrassed Jim it is a common occurrence in pregnancy for human females and they are sometimes hard for women to tell the difference and as you have no knowledge it is understandable."

Still blushing furiously Jim (with Spock's help) gets off the biobed and walks over to Amanda.

"Are you alright Amanda?"

Amanda smiles at Jim.

"I am pregnant Jim thanks to those creatures, they healed me."

"Amanda that's great news. Isn't it Spock?"

Spock looks at his mother and sees how happy she is and realises that it is a good thing.

"Indeed T'hy'la. I am happy that I will have more siblings and there will be an increase in the Vulcan population."

Amanda smiles at Spock and Spock smiles back.

"Are you two looking forward to tomorrow?"

"Indeed mother."

"Yes Amanda."

Amanda smiles at them again.

"Jim you can call me mom if you want."

Jim smiles at her again.

"Yes mom."

**The Next day**

"Stop fussing T'hy'la you look so beautiful."

Jim and Spock are standing in the new Vulcan hall waiting to be called for their bonding ceremony, it was being held inside the hall rather than outside as is the norm for both Jim's and Amanda's benefit.

"It's uncomfortable Spock."

"I know T'hy'la but when we beam back up to the ship you will be able to change into your dress uniform, fortunately the bonding ceremony is only short as it usually takes place during the males Pon-Farr."

Jim smiles at Spock as he continues to fuss over Jim's robes. Jim holds Spock's hands.

"You don't have to be so nervous Spock, I'm not going to leave you."

Spock brushes his thumbs across the backs of Jim's hands.

"I know you will not leave me Jim. I just wish for it to be over so you can be more comfortable, you are my everything and I do not like seeing you suffering for any reason T'hy'la."

"And people say that Vulcan's aren't romantic."

"Vulcan's are not romantic, I of course am half-human."

Jim smiles and is about to kiss Spock when they are called into the hall. As Spock said the ceremony (performed by Sarek, T'Pau was no longer able to perform the ceremonies due to her position on the federation council) is quite short, it is quite interesting to be part of the ceremony as not a lot of Vulcan culture is known to off worlders. They were lead into the room by one of the flunkies that hung around ass-kissing the high councillors (Spock would have phrased it differently). Spock had explained to Jim that when the ceremony was performed during a males Pon-Farr the couple were kept separate until after the ceremony was completed as the male would try and bond with their partner too soon, this was important because it was the only time when one of the couple could petition for divorce (unless they were not Vulcan). They were watched by Amanda, Jessica, Uhura and McCoy who were there as witnesses and as they were their best friends and family they had been allowed (bonding ceremonies were not typically open to other people due to the nature of the ceremony). McCoy kept a close eye on both Jessica and Amanda to make sure that neither overheated, he would look out for Uhura as well but she had told him in no uncertain terms that she could take care of herself.

They are go through the ceremony quickly as there is no challenge to their bond and with less than half an hour they are bonded and back on board to change into their dress uniforms for a federation wedding which will be broadcast live across the federation (Jim was furious when he had found that information out, it was the second reason why Pike had come with them on this mission as he was performing the ceremony). Both Sarek and Amanda joined them when they beamed back on board.

They had chosen not to have one waiting at the end of the aisle for the other and so were going to walk down together. Again the ceremony was going to be short and sweet because one Jim's feet were hurting, two they were already technically married, three Jim hated being on camera and finally four Jim and Spock were both looking forward to the reception and to the start of their honeymoon which unfortunately was only twenty-four hours long not that they weren't going to make the most of it.

After the ceremony they went to the mess hall were Jim was sat in a seat and told not to move for the next three hours. Spock sat next to him of course and only left Jim's side twice, once to get his mate some refreshments and the second to dance with Jessica after she had asked him. Some people didn't understand why the couple didn't dance together but McCoy soon put them in their place. Amanda sat on the other side to Jim and was also told not to move but instead of it being said by a concerned medical practitioner, it was said by a very worried and concerned bondmate (not that Sarek would admit to being worried, or at least not in public anyway). During the reception they were approached by almost the whole crew to offer their congratulations and well wishes. Pike was one of the first to speak with them when he joined their table.

"Your father would be proud of you, I hope you know that."

Jim nods a lump stuck in his throat.

"I'm proud of you as well, a man could not ask for a better son."

Pike takes a deep breath.

"If I had known what was happening during your childhood I would have fought for custody of you and given you a loving home. I may not be your biological father but I am proud to call you my son."

The lump in Jim's throat gets bigger and it is left to Spock to thank Pike, although Pike can see quite clearly how much his words mean to Jim. Jessica spends most of her time with Joanna who she will be spending the night and the next day with so her guardians can have some time alone not that she knows what they want to do during that time.

After three hours exactly (Spock didn't want to wait any longer than absolutely necessary) Spock got to his feet and helped Jim to his feet.

"Come ashayam, it is time you rested. Mother father we will see you before we leave ornit, I wish you a good night."

"Indeed I wish you a good night as well my sons."

"Goodnight boys have fun but don't wear each other out too much."

Jim flashes her a great big grin.

"Awww spoil all our fun why don't you?"

Amanda laughs and Spock leads his mate back to their quarters where he has arranged a surprise.

TBC

A/N I hope you liked it, the honeymoon is in the next chapter as is the selection of the baby's name, so if you have any more suggestions now is the time to let me know. Please review.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

A/N: Yay Bonus Chapter. Honey moon and more bad porn ahead. Also the baby finally gets a name, with the Vulcan names I have invented meanings for the words such as we have i.e. my name is Claire and it means clear or pure. I hope you enjoy. Some fluff before things go to hell (again!). FYI I made up Spock's surname as I couldn't find it any where but I did use a common fannon version for part of it.

Spock gently leads Jim back to their quarters, as they enter their quarters Jim and Spock see that there are rose petals on the floor leading into the bathroom, Spock smiles to himself _it would appear that Nyota has succeeded in her task._ Spock leads Jim into the bathroom where they can see that their whirlpool bath (which Scotty had installed when he had upgraded their quarters) is filled with hot water, bubbles and more rose petals, the room is lit with chocolate scented candles and both men breathe deeply, inhaling the sweet intoxicating scent.

"How did you manage to get all of this done?"

"It was easy T'hy'la, I persuaded Nyota to help out during our reception."

Jim smiles at Spock.

"Oh so that was why you took so long to get a drink."

"Indeed. However I now owe her a pair of I believe they are called Jimmy Cho shoes?"

"Damn Spock they are expensive."

"I presumed so by the look on her face when I agreed to purchase a pair but it is worth it to see you smile, I would give up my entire fortune to see that."

Again Jim gets a lump in his throat and so kisses Spock to get his meaning across, Spock's lips quirk up and he kisses Jim back fervently.

"So is this the surprise you wanted me to see? Because I love it."

Jim asks when he finally pulls away, Spock shakes his head.

"Negative Jim, this is just to help you to relax. You will get to see your surprise soon and I hope that you will enjoy that just as much if not more so."

Spock carefully and gently starts to remove his mates clothing before helping Jim to climb into the bath, even though the bath tub had been installed more than six weeks ago Spock and Jim had not been able to share a bath with each other, Jim had used it when he was in a lot of discomfort and Jessica had used it because it was easier for a child to bath themselves rather than take a shower so Spock was looking forward to this just as much as Jim was if not more. Spock proceeded to remove his own clothes and climbed into the bath as well and pulled Jim into his arms. Spock turned on the jets and started to wash his mate, taking the time to enjoy touching his Jim but being careful not to hurt him. Spock can feel Jim practically melt against him and enjoys his lovers moans of enjoyment as Jim's arousal begins to grow, slipping his hand off of Jim's stomach (where it always seems to migrate to no matter where it had started) and heading lower to Jim's crotch where he finds his prize rapidly hardening.

Jim began to gasp as Spock encased Jim's member in his hand and began to gently tug, building up a steady rhythm which soon had Jim coming into Spock's hand. The newly wedded couple stayed in the bathtub for quite some time before Spock decided that had waited sufficiently for his surprisea and got them both out of the bath. Again Spock took over drying his mate and himself as Jim was fast becoming tired and he would soon need to be in bed or he will end up falling asleep on his feet, after drying them both Spock helped Jim to get dressed for bed before he himself got dressed and then he led Jim from their bathroom and into the baby's room (which is separate from Jessica's room so that when their daughter moves into her room Jessica will be able to sleep though the night without being woken by a crying baby).

Jim is utterly speechless when they enter the room as it is no longer empty and a dull grey colour like the rest of the ship. Instead it is painted in pale pinks and blues with a mural on one wall which is a blend of a view of Earth and of Vulcan, the room is filled with everything that new parents could ever ask for or need, it was filled with toys and teddy bears, there is a beautiful hand carved oak wood crib with a starship mobile over head which has models of the Enterprise and the Kelvin along with the other constitution sized ships in service, there's also a hand carved oak wood changing table, all the clothes they could ever possibly need from newborn to one year of age and last but not least is the most beautiful and ornate rocking chair that Jim has ever seen. There are cupboards every where and as Jim walks around the room opening them he can see they are filled with baby milk and bottles, enough pacifiers to sink the Titanic and enough nappies for a hundred babies again in different sizes so they don't have to worry about getting any more for a long time.

"Is everything to a adequate standard Jim?"

Jim doesn't answer, he continues to look around the room in wonder.

"Jim? If you do not like it I am sure that it can be changed to your specifications."

Jim shuts Spock up with a kiss.

"No don't change a thing this is wonderful, it's perfect."

Spock smiles at him as Jim takes a seat and sinks into the rocking chair which is supremely comfortable. Spock moved over to him and sat at Jim's feet, he pulled Jim's feet into his lap and started giving his mate a foot rub to ease the swelling of his feet.

"Oh god that's so good, you know you can stop doing that in about ten years."

Spock continues to rub Jim's left foot and picks up on Jim's apprehension.

"What is wrong Ashayam?"

Jim's face falls.

"We need to pick a name for our daughter, I cant believe it has taken so long for me to realise that, I'm going to be a horrid father."

"It is alright Jim, we live busy lives, you are the Captain of a star ship, of the flag ship no less. If you wish we can discuss it now, I have come up with some Vulcan names for our daughter and I hope you will help me to choose. Jim you could never be a horrid father, the fact that it has upset you because we have not chosen a name shows that."

Jim face lights up again and his grin brightens the room.

"Thanks Spock, you always know what to say to cheer me up. So what are the names you have come up with?"

"According to Vulcan tradition there is a way of picking names but as our daughter is only one quarter Vulcan we do not have to follow the traditional convention, with this in mind I have come up with the following names; T'Jara which means bright one, T'Maire which means of the Desert, T'Bela which means Beautiful, T'Amana which is the name I would have chosen if my mother had not being resurrected as it is a variation of Amanda..."

"We can still call her that if you want."

Spock shakes his head.

"The name I would prefer to give our daughter is that of my Aunt I think is the correct term, my fathers brother's wife."

At Jim's nod Spock continues.

"My Aunt's name was T'Pol."

Jim's jaw falls open.

"The T'Pol of the original Enterprise?"

"Indeed, unfortunately she and her family did not survive the Day and so I wish to honour her as she was always a staunch supporter of my human heritage."

"Yeah I totally agree, our daughter's first name will be T'Pol. Can I ask a question?"

"Of course Jim you never have to ask."

Jim smiles at Spock again and Spock turns his attentions to Jim's other foot.

"Why do all the girls names start with T'?"

Spock's lips quirk up.

"Not all females names do start with them but as I said earlier there is a convention to naming our children, the T signifies that our daughter was conceived during my Pon-Farr, then there is an order to the names, the eldest daughter's name would begin with a P such as in T'Pau or T'Pol, the second daughter's name would begin with an M such as T'Maire, the third with a V, the fourth with an A and so on. There are of course exceptions such as adoption, when a female is adopted she is given a masculine name such as Spock or Sarek and it is the opposite for when a male is adopted as a male will be called a feminine name such as T'Pring, I have not met any Vulcan's with the opposite version of their names but there will be many more cases before long as there are more children than adults left. I will not go into male versions of the naming convention as it is not needed at the moment... If you have chosen T'Pol to be our daughters given name what do you wish for her middle name to be?"

"Well I came up with a whole list as well, I couldn't tell you what the names meant but I thought that they sounded nice. There's Solara, Miranda, Adele, Rihanna, Amanda and my favourite is Elizabeth."

Spock stops rubbing Jim's foot.

"Why is that name your favourite?"

"Because like your chosen name it means something to me and like yours it honours the dead, Elizabeth was the name of my maternal grandmother. She was the one who cared for me as a child, she is the one who is in my first memory. I never doubted her love for me, I never needed to and if she hadn't died when I was two she would have been the one to raise me and Sam, if she had I might not have so many issues and Sam might not have become a murderer."

"Indeed, then it is decided our daughter's full name will be T'Pol Elizabeth Kirk."

Jim shifts in his chair.

"Don't you want to give her your surname?"

Spock's lips quirk upwards.

"I would indeed if humans were able to pronounce it and as she is to be raised around humans I would prefer for them to have something they can pronounce instead of mangling my language and name."

"So what is your surname?"

"Schn T'gai Schwllngnzthn."

Jim tries it a couple of times before giving it up for a lost cause.

"Geez you guys couldn't have used a few vowels to make it easier could you? Though T'Pol Elizabeth Kirk does have a certain ring to it I suppose."

Again Spock's lips quirk up and Jim smiles at him.

"Come on help me up out of this chair, I need to lie down because my back is killing me."

Spock gets to his feet and then helps Jim to do the same before leading Jim back to their bedroom and helping Jim to lie down. Spock covers Jim up with a quilt before attempting to leave.

"Where are you going mister?"

"You need rest you are fatigued."

"Spock unless I am dead or in a coma I am never to 'fatigued' to have sex with you, now get back over here mister."

Spock moves back over Jim and watches as his mate slips out of his clothes and unable to stay away from the enticing sight which was before him he pounces, he tears of his own clothes without hesitation and bears down on his mate kissing every inch of Jim's body whilst his hands fumble in the drawer of the bedside cabinet for the lubricant and then starts to prepare his mate slowly for entrance with two fingers.

"Yes Spock, yes. More baby I need more."

Spock slips in a third finger and Jim murmurs his thanks, Spock moves up Jim's body and his lips latch onto one of Jim's nipples making it as hard as granite before moving onto the other. All the while Jim is singing Spock's praises and begging for more.

"Please Spock, I need you, I need you inside of me, I need to feel you."

"Yes T'hy'la. Feel me."

Spock pushes into Jim slowly and carefully, still amazed at how wonderful it felt to be with Jim, Spock kisses Jim breathlessly before latching onto Jim's pulse point on his neck and leaving a rather large mark. Spock increases his speed but keeps his movements gentle and wraps his hand around Jim's penis and pumps Jim at the same time as his thrusts. It doesn't take long for them to be brought to an amazing climax. Not long after Spock pulls out and climbs off the bed, he leaves the room and enters the bathroom before returning with a wet cloth to clean them both. Once satisfied that they are clean enough Spock climbs back into the bed and pulls Jim into his arms.

"Dont wanna fall asleep, we only got twenty four hours left."

Spock presses a kiss to Jim's forehead.

"No Jim, we have the rest of our lives to enjoy each other."

And with that Jim falls into an easy sleep filled with lots of happy dreams followed shortly after by Spock.

**Meanwhile on the Luna Penal Colony**

George was pacing his cell again, furious at being caged up like an animal, they were going to pay, they were all going to pay especially that whore of a brother James T. Kirk, he had seen the news feeds while trapped in his cell of the wedding of the whore and the half-breed and it made him sick. They shouldn't be allowed to continue living, their amoral practices should be stopped and them made an example of; to stop all the other freaks from thinking that their disgusting habits are acceptable.

George hears a noise coming from outside his cell and he stops pacing, he knows that it is not one of the guards as they have a very predictable schedule and they are not due to come around for another hour, George watches a cloaked and shadowy figure approach his cell door and as the figure opens it extremely quickly.

"You must leave now before the guards find you gone. I know who put you in here and I know you want your revenge, take this key and head towards the entrance bay where you will see a standard transport vehicle, it has enough fuel and power to get you to where you need to go, it has the directions to your destination."

George looks at the man, for surely it is a man, shrewdly.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because you want the same thing I do."

"Which is?"

"James T. Kirk dead."

TBC

A/N: I hope you liked it, please review.


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53

A/N: Another Bonus chapter for you all. Now how much do you love me? Don't forget to leave a review on your way out. This follows on directly from the last chapter. There are directions in this chapter which make no sense so just ignore them as I have no idea how to make a star ship go to exact locations without there being a planet, moon, sun or star base involved. I hope you enjoy.

George leaves the prison carefully, keeping his eyes open for any sign of the guards and heads to the docking bay where he can see all the prison vehicles. He quickly looks around the bay until he finds what he was looking for; a private transport ship that wont stand out from the crowd (it is a very standard looking small ship), he uses the key card he was given to open it up and slips inside. The interior is quite dusty for a space vehicle and it is obvious that it has not been used in quite some time, George makes his way into the control room where on the main console is a normal looking PADD which only looks incongruous with the rest of the ship because of the lack of dust on the case, picking up the PADD it switches on by itself and reveals the specifications to the spacecraft.

The contents are surprising as it reveals the vehicle to have a full compliment of weapons which would put most constitution sized star ships to shame, Romulan cloaking and multiphasic shields, and extremely advanced, highly sensitive scanners along with a shield far ahead of anything that has been seen in development so far.

The PADD shows him how to engage the cloaking device and George initialises it before sitting in the pilots seat and taking off, George casts one last long look at what could have been his home for the next fifty years and allows one moment of rage to fill his mind, _I will make you pay for this my dear little brother, you have cost me everything and I will have my revenge_. On screen a message flashes on the screen and George opens it; it is a star map showing the quickest route to the new Vulcan colony, which will take two days at warp 2, unfortunately that is the fastest this ship can travel with the cloak engaged as it takes up quite a bit of power and George will need to run it continuously because there are too many patrols in both the Sol system, the Veridas system (the new home of Vafer-Tor) and in between.

The next two days pass quietly with only one incident; where George had not heard the proximity alarm go off as he was fast asleep, fortunately he was able to move craft out of the way of an asteroid before they collided. During his exploration of the ship he had found another PADD which held details of the psi-inhibitor and sedative in the hypospray which was found lying next to it, there were also instructions on using it on Spock in the belief that it will break the bond between Jim and Spock causing them to either die or become extremely easy to kill and there was a new phaser lying next to that. He spent most of his time either getting to know the ship or sleeping in the small bed in the lower deck.

He arrives at the colony, he can see the Enterprise is still in orbit around the planet which is good news, he sets the scanners to look for a half-vulcan bio-signature; he fins two identical readings and that is confusing, he tightens the focus of the scanners and sees that one is over a hundred and fifty years old and the other is in his late twenties, he zooms in on the twenty something year old and waits patiently for his victim to become alone. He spends the next two hours watching as his victim is continually surrounded by a group of Vulcan's and a human female, finally Spock heads into the desert alone, George doesn't understand but he is not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. George sets the ship down in Spock's path and waits for Spock to come to him, he watches through the screen as Spock walks straight into the ship and knocking himself unconscious, laughing at his good fortune George leaves the ship grabbing the hypospray on his way out and heads over to Spock, Spock is out cold on the floor and it takes no effort to inject Spock with the psi-inhibitor unlike when he tries to drag Spock onto the ship which takes ages because the guy is really fucking heavy.

On the Enterprise Jim wakes from his mid afternoon nap screaming at the loss of his bond in his mind, his scream is so loud it wakes his sister and she panics and calls doctor McCoy who rushes to Jim's bedside where Jim is still screaming with his head in his hands, McCoy pulls away Jim's hands from his face.

"Jim, Jim, kid, what's wrong? What happened?"

Mccoy runs his tricorder over Jim but nothing is showing up in his scans except for a large spike in Jim's mesocortex, which he cant explain. Jim stops creaming and looks at him and McCoy is shocked by the dead look in Jim's eyes.

"He's gone, I can't feel him, Spock's dead, our bond is broken."

Pulling Jim into his arms McCoy calls up to the bridge and orders them to locate Spock, he tells them that something is wrong, he also asks that a mind healer be brought on board. McCoy holds Jim in his arms as Jim sobs, McCoy knows that if they don't find Spock and soon there may not be a chance to resuscitate Spock (if Spock had died with minimal brain injury such as being shot or stabbed), McCoy tells Jessica to go to his quarters where Joanna is playing with one of the yeomen tasked with being a childcare assistant. Not long after Jessica leaves McCoy gets a call from the bridge stating that they cannot locate commander Spock and that his communicator is not on the surface of the planet or on the ship, they also tell. McCoy that there is a mind healer being beamed aboard by the name of Syrek and McCoy orders for him to be brought to the captain's quarters immediately.

Syrek steps into the room, it is obvious that he has run all the way here from the transporter room, heads straight to Jim and melds with him. Inside Jim's mind he has a strong sense of deja vu not because Jim's mind is so alike to his T'hy'la but because again he finds that the bond in Spock and Jim's mind has not been broken but this time dampened and stretched. Syrek keeps his mental touch light because his mind wishes to connect with Jim's as it sees no difference it their katras, he strengthens the bond between Jim and his counterpart enough that Jim can feel it and use it to find his mate, he can feel the euphoria in Jim's mind that Spock is not dead and their bond is still intact.

Syrek pulls out of the meld gently and slowly so as not to cause Jim any more pain, but before leaving he checks on the status of the foetus as the pain had experienced could have a negative effect fortunately it has not seemed to damage Jim's child and Syrek finishes pulling out of the meld.

"What diod you do?"

"I merely showed Jim that his bond is not broken, it is just being suppressed by an outside force such as an inhibitor or another telepathic presence."

McCoy watches as Jim seems to pull himself together and stop crying, it is quite remarkable to watch, especially when Jim gets that determined look on his face, Jim thanks Syrek for his help and gets off the bed.

"Now just where do you think you are going?"

Jim looks at McCoy, McCoy can see a steely determination in Jim's eyes.

"I am going to the bridge I need to find my husband."

McCoy goes to protest but stops when Jim gives him a warning look, it is obvious that Spock is not the only one who is a possessive and territorial mate so McCoy lets him go but he follows him just to make sure that Jim doesn't over do anything, it would be very bad if in trying to find Spock Jim inadvertently ended up hurting himself or their child. Jim quickly gets changed, ignoring the two men in the room, before leaving his quarters followed closely by McCoy. They head up to the bridge and Jim takes over.

"Sir should you be on the bridge?"

Jim quells sulu's question with a look.

"Lieutenant, we need to leave orbit, Spock is not on the planet. He has been kidnapped and I know where he is and longer we are here the further away he is getting."

"Aye sir. What is our heading sir?"

"Co-ordinates 6,30,96,45."

"Aye sir."

Jim turns to lieutenant Uhura who watches Jim closely.

"Lieutenant inform the Vulcan high command that we are leaving and why, also can you suggest to them that they hurry up and make their mind about their planetary defences so that it can't happen again."

"Yes sir."

Jim watches as she turns back to her station for a few seconds and then Jim goes back to looking inside his mind at the bond to figure out where Spock is.

"Sulu change of co-ordinates, 6,30,98,59."

"Aye sir."

They reach the co-ordinates within seconds and Jim again turns inwardly to find out where Spock has gone now but he is pulled out of his thoughts by lieutenant Uhura who tells him that they are being hailed by an unknown ship somewhere off the starboard bow.

"On screen lieutenant."

The screen changes to show the last face Jim had expected.

"Hello little brother, you are looking well."

"How did you escape from prison?"

"That does not matter, what does matter is this."

The camera angle changes to show Spock slumped over and Jim watches horrified as George stamps on Spock's hand and he almost cries out when he hears the finger bones snap. Jim feels nauseous when Spock's image changes back to George's.

"What do you want?"

"You dear brother, you are going to take a shuttle out of your ship alone and then we will talk more. You have five minutes or I will kill your precious little husband."

The screen goes blank and McCoy steps up to Jim.

"You cant even be thinking about going over there Jim. You know Spock wouldn't want that."

"It doesn't matter, if I don't go he'll kill Spock and if Spock dies..."

Jim trails off not wanting to think about it let alone speak about it. He gets up out of his chair and heads to the turbo lift.

"Mister Sulu you have the bridge."

McCoy follows Jim.

"I'm coming with you."

Jim shakes his head emphatically. They enter the lift and Jim presses the button to take them down to the shuttlebay.

"No you cant, besides if anything happens to me and Spock I need you to take care of Jessica."

"Jim."

"Please bones."

"Fine. Just care of yourself and come back in one piece"

"I'll try."

They reach the deck they were headed to and leave the lift, Jim picks one of the shuttles and gets in, McCoy follows him and gives him a hug.

"Be safe kid."

McCoy leaves the shuttle and then exits the shuttlebay, he watches through the window as Jim's shuttle takes off and leaves the ship. Jim swallows nervously when he reaches the co-ordinates that George gave him, he feels a transport beam touch him and before he knows it he is stood on the bridge facing George and seeing Spock still huddled up on the floor.

"Spock!"

Jim goes to move forward but stops when George points a phaser at him.

"Bad Jim, you're not getting near him. You make another move and I'll vaporise him."

"What did you do to him?"

George snarls at Spock.

"Nothing, except for drugging him with a psi-inhibitor and sedative, it was supposed to break your bond."

Jim swallows deeply but lets that sentence go.

"What do you want?"

"I just want to talk, after all it has been a while."

Jim watches as Spock begins to stir and attempts to keep George focused on himself so that Spock can recover.

"So what do you want to talk about?"

"Oh I don't know, how about dear old mummy and how she loved me more than you, or how about the fact that you are the reason why our father is dead? What do you think? Personally I would like to talk about who really killed mommy dearest."

Jim clamps down on the rage he feels.

"Oh but George I already know who killed Winona and it wasn't Frank, although you did do a good job of framing him."

George looks at Jim in contempt.

"How did you know?"

Jim's eyes flicker involuntarily to Spock to is becoming more conscious as he fights the effects of the inhibitor.

"There was one major thing to be honest (there wasn't it was more than one), one of my doctor's is an empath and he could feel the sincerity of his words as he pleaded with you befor you killed him, unfortunately there was no proof that you were involved other than what he picked up and that's not admissible in court."

George snarls at Jim. Jim watches as Spock becomes fully aware of what is happening and who is in front of him, Jim feels the bond burst into life again and feels relief. Jim almost panics when George turns to look at Spock.

"How did you escape from prison?"

"Oh that was easy, I had help, it's not just me who hates your guts Jim, there are plenty of people who want you dead. I guess they will have to live without the satisfaction of killing you."

George lifts the phaser again (which had dropped during their confrontation as he didn't see either Jim or Spock as a threat) and points it at Jim but before he can pull the trigger Spock attacks and breaks George's neck. Once he is sure that George is dead, Spock runs to Jim to check that his mate is unharmed.

"Ashayam are you uninjured?"

Jim nods.

"Yes but you're not, oh god look at your hands, we had better get you to sickbay... Spock I was so worried about you, I thought the bond had broken, I didn't know what to do."

Ignoring the pain in his hands Spock pulls Jim into his arms and holds him tight.

"Hush ashayam, everything will be alright."

TBC

A/N: I hope you liked it and please review.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

A/N: Again this next chapter follows straight on from the previous chapter. I'm not so keen on this chapter and I am still looking for a beta, if anyone wants to help let me know.

Spock lifts Jim's face so that he can look into his mate's eyes.

"You are uninjured?"

Jim nods and Spock feels some of his tension loosen from his shoulders.

"Thank you for saving me."

Spock kisses Jim on the forehead.

"I will always protect you Jim, I will always save you. You are mine and I will allow no one to take you away from me."

Jim pulls away from Spock when the pain Spock is feeling gets too intense and he cant breathe. Jim gently presses a kiss to Spock's lips.

"Sit Spock, I can feel you are in pain. I'll see if I can get this ship decloaked so the Enterprise can beam us back, I think Scotty would like a look at this ship."

Spock sits down in one of the pilot chairs whilst Jim tries to find the button to switch off the cloak. Spock begins to concentrate on a Vulcan mantra in his mind to try and control the pain, he is concentrating so hard that he does not hear Jim yell out in joy when he finds the switch to the cloak nor does he feel the transporter beam that transfers him to the Enterprise. Spock is pulled out of his meditation only when he feels a hypospray pressed to his neck and the pain in his hands lessen. He opens his eyes to see Jim sat on the biobed next to him and he panics that something is wrong with Jim. Spock jumps off the bed setting off the alarm as he does so and rushes to Jim's side. Jim looks up at Spock in surprise.

"You informed me that you were unharmed."

"I'm not hurt, I was just waiting for you to wake up and bones didn't want me sitting in those chairs for too long so he told me to sit on here, I think he just did it to keep an eye on me, he is such a mother hen."

Spock allows his heartbeat to slow down, he would never have forgiven himself if Jim had been hurt whilst he was meditating.

"Indeed."

Spock strokes Jim's cheek and watches as Jim moves his face closer to his hand, his hands feel a lot better, they are still sore but they are no longer broken, Spock leans in and gives Jim a loving kiss, nothing too deep though. Jim smiles at Spock and Spock's lips quirk up in response.

"Bones put you under the bone regenerator for your hands. How do they feel?"

"They are much improved, I believe they will be back to full function after I have performed a mild healing trance in our quarters."

Jim looks confused which Spock thinks makes him looks adorable.

"Can't you do it here?"

"If you would prefer that it took place here then yes."

Jim doesn't hesitate.

"Then do it, you know I worry when you go into one of those things. At least here the machines tell me that you are ok."

"Very well, once I am in my trance please inform Dr McCoy."

Jim nods again and watches as Spock gets back onto the biobed and lies down, Jim gets off his own biobed and steps up to Spock's, he carefully covers Spock with the blanket and brushes his lips against Spock's forehead.

"Please rest Jim whilst I am in my trance, you have had a stressful day."

Again Jim nods and watches as Spock enters his trance before turning and heading to McCoy's office. Neither men had noticed that when Spock had set off his alarm that McCoy had come running out of his office to see what was wrong, but when he heard the conversation he knew it would be best to wait and so had returned to his office. McCoy only has to wait a few moments before Jim comes into the room, McCoy helps Jim to sit down on his sofa.

"Spock's gone into a healing trance."

McCoy sits down next to Jim.

"I know."

"How come you didn't come running in when his alarm went off?"

McCoy smiles.

"I did."

Jim looks confused and then blushes.

"Oh."

"Yep, besides he still had his biosensor on and that told me all that I needed to know as to why his readings jumped up, well that and the scene in my sickbay."

McCoy gives Jim a playful slap on his arm. Jim pretends to wince.

"Ouch, no hitting the pregnant guy, or I'll stick Spock on you."

McCoy just grins at Jim and Jim grins back.

"I know I asked when you were beamed back but are you really ok? He was your brother after all."

Jim looks away trying to marshal his thoughts into order.

"When we were younger, he would be so cruel to me, calling me names, hitting me or he would do the total opposite and completely ignore me. And after I turned thirteen I didn't see him again, he was never my brother, you are my brother and I would rather he died than me or Spock. So yeah I'm okay but I don't know how I'm gonna explain it to Jessica. In the last three months she has lost her parents and her brother, how do I tell her? How do I explain that one of the men who is now raising her killed her older brother? What do I do?"

McCoy pulls Jim into a hug, his heartstrings tugging whenever Jim talked about his childhood (which wasn't often).

"I don't know kid. I wish I had answers for you but I really don't know."

Meanwhile on the other side of the ship Scotty is currently anticipating ripping apart the new ship he has just tractored into the shuttlebay but first he has to send George's body to the morgue for an autopsy. M'Benga was the doctor who was going to perform the autopsy as McCoy would prefer to stay with Jim (the autopsy reveals that George died of a broken neck).

Once George's body had been moved an investigation had to be started as there was a dead person, although the crew of the Enterprise knew that Jim and Spock would never kill someone in cold blood it was not up to them to decide. Fortunately for whatever reason there was a camera recording the entire incident meaning that they could see exactly what happened. The ship had returned to the colony once Jim and Spock was safe, Scotty was incharge until they reached the planet and then he handed control over to Uhura and Sulu until Spock was well enough to take command again.

Once the investigation was done Scotty arranged for his minions and himself to tear apart the ship and what they found was phenomenal and would likely improve star-fleet shift considerably especially when they incorporate the cloaking device. Scotty also realises that he has seen some of this stuff twice before once after the Narada incident and seeing all the sensor data from Nero's ship and the second when during their shoreleave on Earth at a star-fleet symposium which Nyota had dragged him to, this means that whoever gave George this ship is probably in star-fleet which could be a very big problem.

He decides to keep his results to himself for the time being until Spock is feeling better, there is no way that Scotty will share this information with Jim not in his condition anyway.

_**On Vafer-Tor**_

Soliuk says goodbye to Syrek, his three month intern-ship is over and he is preparing to leave the colony. He has told Syrek and the council that he intends to reunite with his family and persuade them to move to the colony with him but he doesn't expect them to agree. The real reason he is leaving is because he is not actually a Vulcan but a Romulan on a secret mission to find out all he can about the new colony and it's defences but he found more than he expected to; Syrek is really from another time and universe as was Nero, he keeps in regular contact with Captain James T. Kirk (Soliuk also found out where the Enterprise's next mission is) and that the council voted against having any defensive measures.

Soliuk steps into his ship and leaves Vafer-Tor space before dropping his emotionless act and smirking at the ease of his mission. It takes him three days to reach Romulan space where he is escorted from the border by a Bird of Prey to the Romulan home world Romulus. He is again escorted straight from his ship to the council chambers of the Romulan leaders where he eagerly relays all the information he has gathered to his masters, he expects to be rewarded quite handsomely but is instead killed by a guard on the orders of one of council members.

The council agrees to share this information with their 'friend' who is willing to take out James Kirk for them.

_**Back on the Enterprise**_

Jim is fast asleep in his lonely bed (Spock is on the bridge he is pulling a double shift) when he wakes up suddenly in a great deal of pain and agony. He reaches for his communicator and presses the emergency button, alerting Spock, McCoy and Phlox that he is in trouble.

TBC

A/N: I'm so evil, another cliffie. Please review.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

A/N: Bonus Chapter: The baby is here. This story is definitely turning into a series, I have so many ideas to add to this mammoth story. Just a short chapter but I hope you like it.

Spock is sat in Jim's chair on the bridge, normally when in orbit around a friendly planet the command crew does not need to be on the bridge but after the incident with George,Spock was taking no chances and it was only confirmed in his mind when Jim begged him to take care of the ship and to look after their crew. There are only a few crew members on the bridge, most of them are ensigns like Chekhov who is sat at the helm and the helm operator who is sat next to him, Lieutenant M'ress is at uhura's station and there is a ensign at the science station.

He was currently going over his earlier conversation in his mind with lieutenant commander Scott about what technology had been found on the ship and how George had got his hands on it, Spock suspected that Komack was behind it, whilst keeping one eye on the bridge. Although no longer a member of the admiralty Komack still had friends in very high places and he had used them. Then there was the matter of the cloaking device that was also plaguing him, Spock suspected that the Romulan's were involved somehow which didn't bode well for Jim.

Spock feels through the bond that Jim is sleeping peacefully even if he is feeling lonely so Spock sends him love and warmth, Spock feels the instant Jim awakens in great pain and rushes off the bridge down to Jim after calling out to ensign Chekhov that he has the bridge. He is met at Jim's door by doctor's Phlox and McCoy.

The three men enter the room and find Jim on the bed clutching his stomach, Spock rushes over to him. Jim looks up at them in pain and fear.

"It's the baby, oh god I think she's coming."

McCoy brought an anti-grav stretcher with him and Phlox and with the help of Spock they manage to get Jim on to the stretcher. Spock grabs Jim's hand and McCoy pushes the stretcher out the door whilst Phlox runs scans over Jim.

"She is indeed coming."

Spock looks at phlox.

"I will need to initiate a mind meld so that our daughter does not become distressed."

McCoy interrupts.

"Can it wait until we can get to sickbay?"

Spock shakes his head.

"No I can feel the child's distress is growing I must initiate one now."

It is not just the child who is distressed Jim is too and McCoy seeing that relents and adjust the weight capacity of the stretcher.

"Fine get on the bed."

Spock does not need to be told twice and within seconds he is in Jim's mind and trying comfort both his child and mate. Jim's consciousness grabs on to Spock's and holds tight, Spock uses his mind techniques to take Jim's pain unto himself and he feels both his loved ones become calm. Spock takes Jim deep into Jim's mind to where their child is and they both carefully soothe the child the way Sarek and Amanda had shown them to. Spock hears McCoy when he tells him that they are preparing Jim for surgery and so Spock concentrates on their daughter even more and Jim follows suit.

Spock only pulls them out of the meld when McCoy starts the caesarian cut and he watches as Jim is opened up to take their child out, at the sight of the blood Spock becomes irrationally angry and it is all he can do to stop himself from ripping McCoy away from his mate, Jim sends him reassurance through their bond and Spock latches onto it like it is a lifeline.

"Jim let me know immediately when you feel any pain, don't try and be a martyr because you'll end up hurting yourself or your daughter."

Jim nods and McCoy opens Jim up wider, Jim cant see what is happening because McCoy had placed a screen over Jim's chest, Jim cries out when he feels some pain and McCoy immediately stops. He applies some more local anaesthetic and cuts slightly more after making sure that Jim doesn't feel any more pain before continuing. The surgery doesn't take much time and before long there is the cry of a newborn child. Dr Phlox takes the child, cleans her and weighs her before handing her over to her fathers. Jim looks at his daughter lying in Spock's arms, she looks so peaceful and quiet and she is so small but Jim instantly loves her.

"She's so beautiful."

"Indeed."

Spock looks down at his newborn daughter knowing that everything has changed and he is glad for it.

"Welcome to the Enterprise my beautiful daughter, welcome to the universe T'Pol Elizabeth Kirk, live long and prosper."

TBC


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

A/N: One last chapter before everything goes to hell all over again, so fluff is abound in this short chapter. I hope you enjoy.

"Aww she is adorable."

"Thank you Nyota."

It had been two days since T'Pol's birthday and Jim and Spock were now showing her off to the rest of the crew, they had decided to take T'Pol to the mess hall with Jessica and as soon as they had entered the room they had been completely surrounded by a large group of their friends and co-workers. Jim had been worried about Jessica's reaction but need not have worried as Jessica had told Jim and Spock that she loved her younger sister which had made Jim smile. Jessica had not fully understood why her parents were not coming back (after all she is only seven) but had understood that Jim and Spock were her new parents.

The ship was still in orbit around Vafer-Tor as Sarek had requested (demanded more like) to perform the newborn child ceremony where the child's familial bonds would be created along with the parental bonds, they were also there because after another vote in the council chambers (Amanda had berated them for being illogical about being willing to have no protection from hostile forces, which is partly why they had been in this mess and they saw the logic in changing their minds) they had asked for help from the Enterprise to help set up planetary defences so that if someone did attack then they would at least have time for help to be sent.

Scotty and a team of his minions had beamed down they day Jim had given birth and were now in the process of setting up a system, it would normally take weeks even months to set up and test this type of defence but unknown to the rest of the Vulcan council Syrek had taken it upon himself to design and create his own defence system using his knowledge from the future and so had shaved off most of the time needed to set it up, he had also arranged for a team of Vulcan engineers to learn from Scotty's team so that when the Enterprise left they would know how to monitor and care for the system. The ship was due to stay in orbit for one more day and then set off for their new mission.

Jim and Spock spend the morning in the mess hall with T'Pol and Jessica, with their friends coming and going before heading down to the planet for the last time. They are greeted by Sarek and Amanda and taken to the clan hall, they are greeted there by Syrek and the few remaining clan members of the House of Surak except for T'Pau who is still on earth trying to get a starship to stay near the colony for the foreseeable future or at least until the colony is back on its feet, unfortunately there are members of the federation council who are more xenophobic than the members of the Vulcan council were before Nero's attack which is to say that they are very xenophobic and so were unwilling to help out.

The ceremony (like every Vulcan ceremony Spock has told Jim about) is very short, it would obviously have been longer had more of the clan survived the holocaust, it consists of Sarek (who had been trained to do this ever since he took over as head of house, when it is Spock's turn to take over as head of house he will have to learn as well) joining T'Pol's mind to everyone else in differing layers and depths for her familial bonds. He even joins Jessica's to T'Pol's and creates a strong sister bond between them as they will be living together (also on Vulcan... in Vulcan culture there is no difference between adopted and blood relatives so when Jim and Spock adopted Jessica Sarek became her grandfather and she became a member of the clan just like T'Pol did, although because she was psi-null he could not create familial bonds with her).

The last people to be connected to T'Pol's mind were Spock and Jim because their bonds would be much deeper and richer than everyone else's. When Sarek placed one hand on Jim's face and the other on T'Pol's face, Jim immediately felt his daughter in his mind. Sarek's mind was calm and rigid but T'Pol's was full of laughter and it was so bright, when Sarek pulled out of the meld with Jim, he could still feel his daughters laughter in his mind. The same thing happened for Spock, with Jim feeling it through both his bonds.

Before long they are back on board the ship as neither Jim nor Jessica can handle the extreme temperatures on the planet, all they need to do to leave the system is to wait for Scotty and his team to set up the planetary defences and beam back on board.

Jim and Spock spend the rest of the day with their children, playing with Jessica and cooing over T'Pol, Jim had thought that he would never have this; the family he had always dreamed of but now he is so happy and he watches as Spock plays with Jessica, he is glad that Spock's Pon-Farr came (as painful and scary as it was), otherwise Spock would still be with Uhura and he wouldn't have a family. Spock catches Jim staring and his lips quirk up. Spock stands and walks over to Jim who is sat in the supremely comfortable rocking chair.

"I love you Spock."

"I love you too T'hy'la."

Spock kisses Jim thoroughly.

"Ewwww gross, you are so ickky."

Spock pulls away reluctantly. Jim looks at Jessica who is pouting and he bursts out laughing. He definitely loves his family and couldn't wish for a better one.

TBC

A/N: I told you it was a short chapter, I hope you liked it please review.


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

A/N: I told you it was all going to hell. I hope you enjoy. Please review. There are about five chapters left after this one (depending how long they are and whether I add anything extra).

Three weeks had passed since the Enterprise had left the Vulcan colony and the ship was currently in orbit around a newly found M class planet. Spock was heading up a survey on the planet with a group of scientists, a group of engineers and a couple of security guards. Jim was looking after the children as it was his day off, T'Pol had physically grown significantly in the last three weeks as is normal for Vulcan babies as had her telepathic abilities and she was showing the beginnings for empathic abilities as well. Jessica and T'Pol were getting on like a house on fire (Jim had had to explain to Spock the meaning of that idiom and why it was considered to be a good thing) and Jessica was coping well with another major change in her life.

The preliminary results from this planet show that it could be a good place to colonise, it had more than a passing resemblance to Pangea (Earth's first continent), as the planet had one large landmass surrounded by an ocean of water that encompassed the rest of the globe except this planet has ruins of a great civilisation; it looked like the civilisation was an amalgamation of various ancient Earth cultures like the Aztec's, the Mayan's and the ancient Egyptians. The vegetation is also similar to what had been found in fossil records on earth and there were no major lifeforms on the planet; just various bugs and plant life.

The survey was going well and they were checking in with the enterprise at 4 hour intervals as requested. Spock regularly checked with Jim through their bond, so that they wouldn't have to keep checking in with the ship as that delayed their results and Spock was willing to let regulations slide for a short while if it meant that he could be back with Jim sooner. At the moment Jim was fast asleep, his unconscious mind still transmitting all the love he feels for Spock, so Spock called up to the ship to check in.

There was no answer, worry begins to settle in and Spock cannot dislodge it from his mind. Spock recalibrates the communicator and tries again but there is still no answer. Spock attempts to communicate with Jim again but Jim is still sleeping and wont wake up even when Spock probes his mind. Spock calls the team back to the shuttle to leave the planet and head back to the ship, to see whether it is just a communication problem or if something more sinister is to blame although because Spock cannot get through to either his husband or his daughter he suspects that there is something seriously wrong.

The shuttle ride back was in almost perfect silence, one of the security guards kept trying to get through to the Enterprise but he stopped when they came upon it. They almost missed the ship because it was in total darkness; there was not a single light on the ship. The security guard renewed his attempts to get back in contact with the ship, Spock tries to get in contact with Jim but he has the same luck. The shuttle gets right up to the ship and Spock has to hack the Enterprise's computer systems (that are still working) to open the door to the shuttlebay and then pilots the shuttle into the bay and sets it down.

They wait for the room to be re-pressurised before leaving the shuttle and entering the ship on foot. The group take the emergency lights from the shuttle and light them so that they can see what there are doing, one of the engineers heads over to a panel and accesses the computers system, he finds that the ship has life support throughout the entire ship and that there is no mechanical reason for the lights to be out, he also finds that the computers have limited capabilities. The engineer and his team leave the the shuttlebay and head down to engineering to get the lights back on.

Spock orders the scientists to find out what happened while the security guards are to search for the crew. Spock took one of the lights and immediately set off to find Jim and their children, the lifts were are out of order so Spock climbed the twelve decks to his quarters through the jefferies tubes. Spock walked through the ship in an eerie silence, if he had not been Vulcan and a trained star-fleet officer he would be quite unnerved which caused him to speed up his accent as his family would not be as calm as him (not even Jim; after Tarsus IV and then Kodos' attack Jim had been unable to sleep in total darkness).

Once on the same floor as their quarters Spock began to look out for signs of his family but he finds nothing. He heads to his quarters and once he has reached them he has to manually force them open as the doors are not working. He walks into his and Jim's room, it is empty so he makes his way to their daughters rooms. He finds no one in Jessica's room and Spock has to stop and take a deep breath as his worry is overwhelming his mind, he discards Vulcan decorum and runs into T'Pol's room where he sees both children curled up next to each other on the floor, it was obvious that whatever caused them to fall unconscious had an almost immediate affect as they still had toys in their hands.

"T'Pol? Jessica?"

Spock runs over to his children and kneels down and checks both girls, he finds them breathing but they will not waken, he then attempts a light meld with both but they remain unconscious.

Spock pulls out his communicator and contacts the engineering team for an update.

"Spock to lieutenant Harderra."

"Lieutenant Harderra here sir."

"Have you located the problem with the computers?"

"Negative sir, I just don't understand it."

Spock sits himself down next to his children and gently makes contact with them. He understands Harderra's frustration as he feels the same, he wishes to look for Jim but he is unwilling to leave his children alone. He still can only feel Jim's unconscious state through their bond and it is not helping to keep his emotions in check.

"Have you managed to locate any of the crew?"

"Yes sir, we found Mr Scott and a few of the other engineers but we couldn't wake them."

"Indeed, keep trying with locating the problems with the lights. Spock out."

Spock ends the call and gets to his feet before starting to pace the room, he has no idea what has caused this and no idea of where Jim is; although it is possible that Jim may have tried to reach the bridge, perhaps what ever caused this works more quickly on children? Unwilling to leave his children alone he calls one of the security members to stay with his girls whilst he continues to look for Jim and tries to find the cause for what happened.

Spock leaves their quarters and heads straight to the bridge, he makes sure to keep in constant contact with the other teams and so would know what was going on; the science team had found members of the crew in nearly every room they had checked as well as some in the hallways, and in the mess hall they had found people with cups of half drunk cups of coffee and half-eaten plates of food. They had decided to start running blood tests on most people to check to see if it was a chemical that was affecting them. So far everyone they had found were still alive but unconscious, however Spock knew that the statistical likely hood that everyone will unharmed is very low, especially if it was a chemical reaction that caused their unconsciousness.

The engineering team had quickly located the problem with the ship (after all these people are the top of their game, otherwise they wouldn't be on the Enterprise); it was a complicated computer virus however it will take some time before they manage to get rid of it and for all systems are fully operational especially as all the computer scientists, who would have been able to get rid of it sooner were currently unconscious. The security teams were making sweeps through the ship looking for the crew and checking for intruders.

Spock manages to make his way up to the bridge again through the use of the Jeffreys tubes, when he gets to the bridge he finds that the alpha shift crew were all unconscious as well. Spock can see that Jim is not on the bridge and he hopes that Jim is trapped in a turbo-lift. Spock heads to his duty station to help with purging the computer virus out of the systems, and with his A-7 rating it does not take long for the main systems to be restored. The first thing Spock does when the computer systems come back on line is to check how many members of the crew are on board.

"There are currently 831 personnel members on board."

Spock goes pale and has to grab the station for support, there are 832 registered crew members on board and he knows before asking who is missing but there is a small spark of hope that he is wrong.

"Computer what is the name of the missing crew member?"

"Captain James Tiberius Kirk is not on board."

Spock feels like the bottom of his stomach has just dropped out, what the hell has happened and where is his Jim? The lights on the ship come back on just then and the members of the crew begin to wake up almost immediately, Spock feels T'Pol awaken and he sends her love and affection. The bridge crew seem surprised to see Spock on the bridge and confused as to why they had fallen asleep at their posts. Spock uses the computer to run scans around the ship and is absolutely horrified as six Romulan birds of prey decloak around the ship, there is no where to run. Spock only has enough time to put the ship on red alert and make it to the centre seat before the first torpedoes hit.

They don't have the fire power and ability to fight off six Romulan ships and Spock has to give the order for the ship to be separated, Jim would never forgive him if Spock allowed their children to be put in danger. Thanks to many dry runs over the last few months, the crew have managed to get the entire separation and evacuation procedure to under a minute. The bridge separates from the rest of the ship and Spock watches as his children are warped to safety as the bridge gives covering fire. Two birds of prey attempt to chase after the rest of the ship but with some skilled shots from ensign Chekhov their engines are disabled and the ship is able to get away safely.

Spock issues the orders and watches with pride as the remaining members of the crew are able to hold off the Romulan ships, lieutenant Uhura keeps attempting to get through to the Romulan's but they wont answer. Fortunately since the rest of the ship has broken away they have a more manoeuvrable ship at their hands and they are able to evade most of the shots from the Romulan's. They are able to destroy four of the six ships before they are hailed by one of the remaining ships, Uhura puts it on screen.

"I am impressed. You are brave warriors except for those who were to cowardly to stay of course."

Spock makes sure to keep his emotions in check.

"They are not cowards, you will explain your actions both as to why you are here and why you attacked unprovoked."

The Romulan smiles.

"Aww dear cousin it was because we were paid to, by one of your own no less."

"Where is Captain Kirk?"

The Romulan smiles again.

"He is safe do not worry. Why do you care so much?"

"I will find him and when I do, I will kill you."

"Why would you do that?"

Spock openly snarled and the Romulan looks terrified.

"Because Captain Kirk is my bond-mate."

The Romulan commander pales in fear, even after three millennia Vulcan's were scary when their bond-mates were threatened, the Romulan remembers twenty years ago when a Vulcan took offence to a Romulan's advances towards their mate in front of him. The Romulan had lost the resulting fight and the results had not been pretty.

"That information was not given to me."

"Who paid you to take him? Who paid you to attack this ship?"

"His name was..."

Before the Romulan could give Spock the name the two remain birds of prey suddenly blew up. Spock and the bridge crew watched as the ships were destroyed, Spock could not believe what he had just seen although he had a feeling that the reason the ships were blown up was to stop him finding out who betrayed them and Spock had a very good idea as to who was actually behind the attack, only one person who had the funds and the opportunity since they disappeared.

TBC

And now I'm off to bed, I hope you enjoyed, please review, it is after all my only source of payment. Thank you.


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

A/N: Only a one chapter left. I have set up a facebook page so you can contact me about when the next chapter will be up or what my new project will be, information to be found on my bio-page. Cliché alert (when the bad guy goes into a monologue and tells you everything they have done and everything they plan to do). Sorry for the wait but this was to be two chapters long but I didn't want to break it up. Enjoy!

Jim wakes to find himself chained to a wall by his arms in a prison cell. It has no bed and Jim is leaned up against the wall, there is a small window through which he can see the stars.

"Dammit not again."

Jim gets himself into a comfortable position (or as comfortable as you can get on a cold hard stone floor) and starts to meditate so he can try and reach Spock. He is not sure what happened his memory is slightly fuzzy at the moment but he does remember being on the ship and not going down on the away mission so he doesn't understand how he got here. It takes Jim a short while to find their bond and to send a quick message to Spock. He is surprised at how quick and panicky Spock's reply comes back.

_/Ashayam?\\_

_/Spock?\\_

_/Jim? Where are you Ashayam? What happened?\\_

_/I don't know, I was playing with the girls and then I don't know what happened. Oh god the girls are our girls OK?\\_

_/Yes Ashayam, they are well, do not worry about them. We are coming to get you, try and stay calm. Keep conscious as long as possible as I can not use our bond to locate you when you are unconscious.\\_

Jim looks confused.

_/I found you when you were unconscious through our bond.\\_

Jim feels Spock's amusement and affection come through the bond.

_/Yes however I was attacked and the bond recognised I was in danger, although you are worried you are not in immediate danger. The bond will no doubt see you as being in danger when you see who has kidnapped you. Just never forget Jim that we are coming for you, I will allow no one to take you from me, you are mine Ashayam.\\_

Jim smiles at the inherent possessiveness in that statement a few months ago that statement would have terrified him but now it made him feel loved. Jim continues to talk to Spock throughout the night, until he is too tired to stay awake and falls asleep. Jim is unsure of how long he has been asleep before his sixth sense for danger causes him to jerk awake.

Jim wakes to find someone standing over him, someone tall and menacing. Before Jim says anything the man stamps on Jim's leg snapping the bone in half, Jim screams in agony and the man laughs at Jim's pain. Jim sends Spock a message through the bond begging him to come and telling him who kidnapped him. He looks up at the man and recognises who it is; it's Komack.

"Hello sunshine."

"What the fuck? What are you doing? Why are you doing this?"

Komack laughs again as Jim tries to get away from Komack.

"You're not fat any more. Did you have that freak's spawn?"

"Fuck you, that's none of your business."

"So that's a yes then. Shame I would have enjoyed kicking it out of you."

Jim spits at Komack.

"You are a sick bastard."

"Thank you but I'm not the sick one, you're the one shacked up with a freak of nature. My brother was right about you."

Komack stamps on Jim's leg again and Jim screams out in pain again, tears are pouring down Jim's face although he is trying very hard to stop them from falling. Jim takes a few deep breaths to keep the pain under control.

"Your... your brother?"

Komack smiles lethally.

"Yeah, you have actually met him a couple of times, don't tell me you have already forgotten? It would be hard to forget his name, it's Kodos by the way."

Jim swallows back the bile that is filling his throat.

"Kodos was your brother."

Komack snarls and kicks Jim in the stomach.

"Yes was until that freak of yours killed him."

"He shouldn't have tried to kill me then should he?"

Komack starts kicking the shit out of Jim, he completely loses control of his temper and only stops when Jim stops reacting to his kicks and punches. When he looks at Jim, he sees that Jim is unconscious and bleeding profusely. Smiling Komack gives Jim once one last kick and leaves the room. A few minutes late and a Romulan enters the room and sets about treating Jim's wounds as Komack doesn't want Jim to die right away, he wants to make it last as long as possible, to give Jim time to believe that he can be rescued but just before the ship gets to their destination he will kill Jim and it'll kill Spock at the same time. The Romulan sets Jim's leg and injects Jim with a strong pain killer and antiseptic hypo-spray

The Romulan reports to Komack and tells him that he is not to break Jim's leg again as it will kill Jim too soon. Komack knew all about the bond between Vulcan's and their bond-mates, he had to know why their bond didn't break when Spock was injected with the psi-inhibitor.

The next morning Komack walks into Jim's room and pours a bucket of ice water over Jim to wake him up, Jim jerks awake again and gasps out in pain when he knocks his leg.

"Morning James, we have a lot of things to get through today. Lets start with all your failures, like your family. Even when you are reunited with them you cannot protect them can you? Your mother was murdered right under your nose as was your stepfather. Your brother was a murdering psychopath, how could you have missed that? Hm? Of course then there's the fact that your family never loved you in the first place. You see I know all about you James, all about your past, about all your friends and even all about your bond with that freak you call a husband. How could you marry him, didn't he rape you? Repeatedly? You must be a real masochist."

Jim stays quiet, hoping Komack will spill his plans to him.

"Oh what's the matter? Not got anything to say James? How about we talk about one of my ex-girlfriends? You know I have something in common with your friend Dr McCoy, we have the same ex, her name was Jocelyn, she was such an evil bitch and if she hadn't died in that 'accident' then I could have grown to love her. She wasn't meant to die, you were but not her. Her death is your fault as well."

Jim grits his teeth and still says nothing.

"You have so many deaths on your hands, including that of my niece. What do you say to that? Nothing? What a surprise. I think you need another 'interrogation'."

Once again Komack kicks the shit out of Jim, Jim retreats into his mind and communicates with Spock, trying to get him to hurry up. Jim retreats so far into his mind that he can no longer feel the beating, he cannot feel when his nose breaks or when his arm is ripped out of its socket.

Spock can feel it though and he orders the ship to maximum warp. The bond is now leading him to Jim even when Jim is unconscious, and Spock zones in on Jim. Thanks to a couple of Scotty's semi-illegal upgrades they can now get up to warp 5.8 and are three hours away from Jim's location. Spock has tracked Jim down to a little known planet on the edge of a dwarf solar system on the outskirts of the alpha quadrant near the Romulan border. Spock tells Jim this to keep Jim conscious so he can keep an eye on Jim's vitals.

The crew of the enterprise are pissed off, Jim was taken straight off the ship right under their nose and they don't like it. They will get their revenge on Komack if it is the last thing they will ever do. They will save Jim and they will let the rest of the galaxy no the universe know that they will come for their captain and nothing will stop them not even an entire Romulan armada will stop them. Which is what they are facing, the ship is forced out of warp and straight into a trap. They are surrounded on all sides by Romulan birds of prey again, but this time there is no chance for them to separate the bridge from the rest of the ship especially as the Romulan's now know what the ship can do.

After George's attack Scotty had taken apart his ship and seen the technology and incorporated that into the ship he had also been able to extrapolate and improve the technology particularly for the weapon systems. They now had enough fire power to take on the armada but there is a chance for heavy casualties.

Spock orders Chekhov to target the Romulan ships and for lieutenant Uhura to hail the lead vessel. The bird of prey accepts the hail and the view screen changes to show a young Romulan male with similar markings to Nero on his face. Spock's blood begins to boil at the similarity and at the obstacle between him and his mate.

"I am Kalebof the Winged Devil, state your intentions on entering Romulan space."

Spock stands and allows a small amount of his tightly controlled anger to show in his facial expression.

"This is federation space, you have illegally entered this space and it is you who should state your intentions."

The Romulan also stands.

"It is our space and there are more of us then there are are of you."

"Then send for more ships and we will be on equal footing, this is the flagship of the federation and we can easily destroy."

"There would be no logic in destroying us all. It would be a waste of life and as a Vulcan you should be against it."

Spock's lips quirk slightly.

"You have invaded our space, your deaths would send a message to your supervisors against entering federation space again. You are also between me and my bond-mate and as long as that continues to be, I will happily lay waste to your entire armada. It is your choice leave federation space and get out of my way or I will destroy you. Oh and I am only half-Vulcan, I suppose that human genetics would allow me to destroy you quite easily."

The Romulan's laugh and Kalen orders the ships to fire on the enterprise, Spock sends a signal to Chekhov and before the Romulan's can fire a single weapon they are obliterated. Spock takes his seat back in Jim's chair and focuses on his bond-mate. Jim is unconscious but it would appear that some of his wounds are no longer as bad.

The ship jumps back to warp and the ship gets ever closer to Jim. Spock tries to stop worrying by filling out all the paperwork that has piled up (it also means that Jim will not have to fill it out when he gets back and it will mean that they can spend more time together) and checking on their children who are both distraught about their missing father. Their children were currently being looked after by one of the many legions of teachers and care staff the ship has picked up recently.

A few hours journey from the enterprise is Jim, he is once again roused by ice cold water being poured of him, Jim is already shaking with the first stages of hypothermia and pneumonia. He looks up at Komack.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Now, now that's not very nice. I just wanted to have a little chat."

"What about now?"

"You tell me."

"How did you get my brother out of prison?"

Komack laughs.

"That was easy I still have friends in high places, how else do you think I got to you?"

"How did you get me?"

Komack laughs again and kicks Jim in the face. Jim spits out blood.

"What you think I'm going to tell you everything?"

"Well you already said you were going to kill me, and bedsides who am I going to tell?"

"How about your GODAMMED BOND-MATE! Do you think I am stupid? I know exactly how your bond works and that you have told Spock but you wont be able to any more."

Komack pulls a hypo-spray out of his pocket and injects into Jim's neck. The effects are sudden, it is another psi-inhibitor, and the bond goes quiet but it isn't like before. Jim can still feel the bond it hasn't been attacked in any way but he cant communicate through it any more Komack smiles at the panic on Jim's face.

"Now you cant stop them from falling into my trap, there are twelve Romulan ships about three hours out who will stop your ship from arriving and will destroy it, I hope your children are not on board, oh wait yes I do. If you ship arrives at top warp, what is the top warp for the flagship, oh yeah warp 5. They should be in visual range in the next four hours, don't worry I'll let you out so you can watch."

Jim swallows deeply.

"I thought you were going to kill me first?"

"So did I but I changed my mind, this way is so much cleaner, your mind will break and because you are psi-null you will have no choice to follow them into death. And I wont have to clean up after you."

"Why are you doing this?"

Komack kicks Jim in the face again.

"You killed my brother and niece, do you forget so quickly?"

"Your brother tried to kill me first, he put me on the death list first. And your niece committed suicide."

"Why did my brother put you on the death list?"

Jim looks away, Komack is having none of it and jerks Jim's face back towards him.

"Because of my allergies. He thought I wouldn't survive long."

"I guess he was wrong about you."

Komack kicks Jim in the stomach.

"I'll be back in a few hours, then we can watch your loved ones die."

Komack leaves feeling happy about things have turned out, Jim will be punished for killing his family and then he will get his own back at the Vulcan's and the other admirals for losing his job. No one messes with Komack and gets away with it.

Komack spends the next three hours on his comfortable sofa, drinking whisky and watching the holoscreen, before going down to the cell to see Jim and drag him up to watch his family die but when he gets there Jim is gone and there is a star-fleet communicator on the floor where Jim was. It begins to ring so he answers it.

"Hello? This is Komack."

"This is Spock, we have locked onto this communicator, I will give you one chance to surrender or I will blow you up."

"I will never surrender, I will hunt you and your family down and you will suffer their loss before you die. I will never give up, I will find you and kill you."

"I cannot allow that to happen, goodbye Komack, give my greetings to your brother."

Komack looks out of the window and watches as the the photon torpedo speeds towards him.

"Oh Shit."

TBC

A/N: Please review.


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59

A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing, this was my first k/s fanfic and I never expected the response I got, so I thank you all repeatedly. This is the final chapter but there will be sequels. I finished this sooner than I thought I would. Enjoy!

One year after the Narada incident and the enterprise was in orbit around the former home place of Vulcan, there were fifteen ships in total at the anniversary. It had been three months since Komack had stupidly decided to kidnap Jim and they were no closer to finding out how he had managed it, although they know that he had help from the Romulan's but they don't know how he managed to infect the ship with the sedative or the computer virus as all data from that day had been irretrievably lost and there was no sign of hacking.

Spock's plan to send a message to the Romulan Empire by destroying the the invading armada had worked and the Romulan's had retreated from declaring all out war with the federation and Scotty's upgrades to the ship were being rolled out across the entire fleet of star-fleet ships and being incorporated into the brand new ships.

The ship was currently hosting the Vulcan Elders Spock had saved from Vulcan and Ambassador Syrek who was pleased to be on board the enterprise again. Jim and Syrek had spent quite a bit of time together in the last few days ever since they had picked up the Vulcan delegation from the colony. Jim was helping Syrek to heal his bond to his mate which still ached after all this time.

The crew of the enterprise were much closer than that of any other ship because of what they had gone through with the Narada incident and working together for the last year and so when they had found out that Scotty had proposed to Uhura and she had accepted the crew threw them a huge engagement party.

The off duty personnel and the alpha bridge crew were currently ensconced in the observation deck listening to admiral pike as he talks about the loss of Vulcan and loss of the ships and cadets who died trying to protect the planet from destruction. He also talks about the improvements on the colony and the expected population in the next few years. Jim was stood next to Spock with T'Pol in his arms and Jessica stood on the other side, since Jim had being kidnapped Spock had not let Jim out of his sight and had become extremely possessive (much like his father was being to his mother). Syrek was currently trying to lessen Spock's possessiveness so that Jim is able to go on different shifts and to be the captain, it was slowly working but Spock was still not letting Jim block their bond.

Syrek stood with T'Pau, Sarek and Amanda who were on the opposite side of the room to Jim and Spock, he watched as the small family remembered the losses that they had suffered. Spock's eyes every so often flicked to his mother the grief and regret he still carried at not being able to prevent her death even after she had been brought back into the world of the living was clearly etched onto his face.

Syrek looked around the room at the crew of the enterprise and watched with a hidden smile as they started to form the same relationships that existed in his own universe, Scotty and Uhura were together as was Sulu and Chekhov, then there was McCoy and Chapel, even yeoman Rand had met and started a relationship with lieutenant Giotto (the only red shirt to beam down to an alien planet and survive, although there was that one time he did die but fortunately McCoy was able to bring him back to life). This crew was just as close as his own was even though they had spent a great deal less time together but that was not surprising.

Admiral Pike was interrupted from his speech when an old acquaintance suddenly appeared on the bridge, the sullen face was hard for Syrek to forget as he had twice almost caused the death of his beloved Jim, once in his own time and once only a few months ago. It was Tre'lane. Tre'lane looked around the room which had fallen into a deathly silence until he spotted Syrek, once Tre'lane had spotted him he made his way over to Syrek. Syrek held his head high as Tre'lane approached, he felt hiss mother who is not his mother step closer to him in a reassuring manner.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you. I've been told that I have to apologise and make it up to every Spock and Kirk in the multi-verse, so here, I'm sorry for the problems I've caused. It was only a bit of fun but no one understood my sense of humour."

Tre'lane clicks his fingers and a figure appears in front of them. Syrek's heart leaps into his throat and he almost stops breathing.

"Jim."

"It's not a trick, no one is going to take him away from you again so you're welcome, oh yeah and I've been told to tell you that you have both the same amount of life left to live so that neither of you ever has to wonder about leaving the other behind. Boring!"

And then Tre'lane disappears, not that Syrek had noticed as he had not taken his eyes off of James.

"Jim, T'hy'la you are home."

The End.

Thank you for reading, please review.


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